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RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 8:26:07 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

there's a difference between refusing to do something because one does not feel like it, but it's an entirely different thing if it is against a limit or preference. when it comes to straight D/s service of a non-sexual nature, then i have no difficulties. on the otherhand, there are a few things ofa sexual nature i will never do, regardless. not because i don't feel like it, but because they are hard limits.

If it's non-sexual then I don't see how it's straight or gay but whatever floats your boat.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 21

RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/9/2007 8:35:07 PM

taintedlove75

Posts: 11
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

The key here is consentual. No one can "make" you do anything in this lifestyle and still have it be SSC. You have a choice, Master says "do this" and you either do it or you don't. Its a choice but you have to be prepared to deal with the consequences of your choice. Everyone is different and some push limits because it excites them to do so. Other push limits because perhaps, being a good Master, he sees something in the submissive that the submissive does not and it is part of helping you grow and explore yourself as a sub.

(in reply to tosh)

Post #: 22

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 8:36:33 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

i just want to point out that i never brought up the word "gay". the fact i'm not bi or gay is publically known. i did not find the need to highlight that in my post. it is merely one of a few things i will not do.

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Post #: 23

RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/9/2007 8:37:36 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Okay, I just checked the Dominant's handbook.

It states that submissives should ONLY do things that they enjoy.

Why don't you make a list of the things that you enjoy and are willing to do?

Give the list to your Dominant and tell them they better follow it, or else!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to tosh)

Post #: 24

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 8:40:48 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

i just want to point out that i never brought up the word "gay". the fact i'm not bi or gay is publically known. i did not find the need to highlight that in my post. it is merely one of a few things i will not do.

Uh no. You didn't. But non-sexual service is... *drumroll* non-sexual. Washing someone's car is not straight service or homosexual (aka gay) service. It's just service!

That's my only question: How is something that is completely non-sexual, having nothing to do with sex and arousal, where neither you or the person you are serving will be having sex in any way... sexual at all and therefore having an orientation?

Maybe I'm weird but to me saying you want a heterosexual relationship means you have some interest in sex. Otherwise it's just serving someone who happens to have boobs.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 25

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 8:44:39 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

i see that this is leading to a confrontational direction in the thread, therefore, i shall let my comment stand as written.

<turns forum back to the subject at hand>

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Post #: 26

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 8:48:05 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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Michael, I'm not trying to confront you. We know (trust us we know) you aren't gay. I don't think you should serve a man if you don't want to. My only question is: How does non-sexual service have an orientation like heterosexual or homosexual? It makes sense to me to want to only provide non-sexual service to the type of dominant you like, gender included, but it doesn't make sense to me to call it heterosexual because it has nothing to do with sex or attraction. It's just service.

It's a genuine question.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 27

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 8:51:19 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

let's just say i do not get alone well with men. there are a number of vanilla things they are into that i am not. also, i'm just not comfortable around them.

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Post #: 28

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 8:57:18 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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I know that. I'm not asking about that.

I'm asking how non-sexual service has a sexual orientation. Why not just say "I'm a non-sexual sub and I only serve women"? It just doesn't make sense to me that a non-sexual relationship has a sexual orientation applied to it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 29

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 9:05:07 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
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it's a personal preference

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Post #: 30

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 9:11:40 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

To serve women or to call it straight service? Because the first one makes complete sense to me (as does only wanting to serve one gender non-sexually), just not refering to a non-sexual relationship by an orientation. The only reason it confuses me is because if you refer to non-sexual relationships by the genders involved, then all my friendships with my guy friends are "heterosexual friendships" and all my friendships with women are "lesbian friendships". Which, to me, would imply that there is some sex going on there when there isn't any, since orientation refers to well... who you want to have sex with.

Do you see my confusion?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 31

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 9:13:04 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

moving right along

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Post #: 32

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 9:16:34 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Guess not. Still doesn't make sense to call it heterosexual if you aren't going to having any sex with her since only sexual activities can be defined with a sexual orientation. Not trying to say you aren't straight, just that a non sexual activity doesn't have a sexual orientation.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 33

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 9:24:51 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

quit simply, (and i think i've said this already) i do not get along with men. what more needs to be said?

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Post #: 34

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 9:42:40 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

quit simply, (and i think i've said this already) i do not get along with men. what more needs to be said?

Michael, I get the distinct impression you aren't listening.

I am not saying you should serve men. I don't think you should. I am not saying you are gay. I think you are straight.

What I am saying is that if something is non-sexual it can not have a sexual orientation. It makes complete sense to me that you would, as a non-sexual sub who doesn't like men, only serve women. But since you are not serving them sexually, I don't see how you define the relationship in terms of sexual orientation.

That does not, in any way, shape, or form, imply or state that you should serve men, be around men or ever talk to a man at all ever again.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 35

RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 9:51:11 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

nevermind...next subject

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Post #: 36

RE: making submissive do things - 8/10/2007 12:15:44 AM

xkittenishx

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline

In the spirit of un-hijacking the thread...

In my personal relationship, absolutely... and most of the time, it'd better be with a smile on my face and a good attitude, even if i find the task to be disdainful.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 37

RE: making submissive do things - 8/10/2007 12:55:17 AM

Babybass

Posts: 230
Joined: 7/30/2007
Status: offline

Master has asked me to do things that i would not normally like to do, but because they please Him i am happy to do them - and usually find i enjoy pushing my limits to serve Him (even in something non-sexual).
If there were something that i was really against - that i could not do even for Him, then we would discuss it. But i have yet to find something i would not do for Him!!

(in reply to xkittenishx)

Post #: 38

RE: making submissive do things - 8/10/2007 4:15:50 AM

favesclava

Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

theq had it right in my situation. My Master is my Master. i'm His slave . if i could refuse an order then i'm a playmate and might as well go back to being vanilla. a slave obeys. if you have doubts about your master's being concerned for your welfare and not taking the time himself (or herself) to think of the pros and cons beforehand you should rethink your situation.

< Message edited by favesclava -- 8/10/2007 4:18:05 AM >

(in reply to Babybass)

Post #: 39

RE: making submissive do things - 8/10/2007 7:02:38 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Michael, I get the distinct impression you aren't listening.

Kind of like talking to a broken record, isn't it.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 40

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