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DVS -> RE: Looking for a Little Help Here... (8/9/2007 6:02:57 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: housebitch
Ok, i stumbled into these message boards the other day (usually i'm over on the 'personals' side of the site) and thought you guys might be able to help me with some advice.
i have been having some difficulty finding what i'm looking for, and for the life of me, i can't undersand why it is so difficult, considering what i am seeking.
Basically, i am a decent-looking, respectful male sub in S. FL looking to do housework, yardwork, run errands, do chores, fix things around the house (within my abilities), give massages (if wanted), and serve as a driver for a beautiful woman.
i don't need any 'edge' play, diapers, complicated roleplay, intricate rope bondage, or specific fetish gear, nor am i even looking for sex. (Although i would not refuse my owner, of course.) But basically, i just want to serve as a butler/servant and do whatever my owner/boss tells me to do that will make her life easier.
The only thing i am looking for in return is for the woman (women? if it is a roomate situation, etc.) to treat me poorly and be condescending/arrogant toward me in the process of my servitude. In other words, i want them to treat me like a servant or 'lower class' person should be treated. And i know people are probably going to jump all over me that i shouldnt have any needs or desires if i am 'truly subserviant', but when i am treated like a 'friend who does them favors' or they are just generally nice to me (i.e., saying 'please' when they 'ask' me to do something instead of saying 'do this now, bitch'...) it just totally kills the mood for me and, as a result, much of my pleasure in serving. To be clear, i'm not insinuating that i want them to stand over me and insult me while i scrub the floors- i'm not saying i want constant attention or to be a detrimental pain in the ass - i just want them to be bossy and a little 'drunk with power' when they give me an order. (Rather than saying 'could you be a dear and do yada yada yada if it's not too much trouble, pleeeeze?')
Let me explain further by sharing what i have tried so far and the results, in general:
i have tried 'regular' dating sites where i explain what i am offering. basically, i say i want to be a servant to a beautiful woman. The responses (when i get one) are invariably the same- First they think i am looking for sex or money. When i explain that i'm not, they think i must be crazy.
i have tried other online resources (craigslist, etc.) and basically no response.
i have approached escorts and dancers, thinking they may at least have been exposed to mens' unusual sexual fantasies, and they usually are at least knowledgable of foot fetishes and domination, etc. so they don't think i'm crazy. But they inevitably state that they 'can't treat me badly' because of my looks and the fact that i'm so nice to them. Then they want to date me.
And then there are those 'in the scene'. Unfortunately, my experience has been that i just don't find myself attracted to most of the Dommes in the lifestyle, and those that i AM attracted to (online) turn out to be fake, 'cyber only' (which concerns me that it may be a guy pretending to be a Domme on the other end), or i just get no response except maybe a 'send money up-front, loser.' (Which i have to admit, at least that last response is a turn on, but again, i think it is probably a guy on the other end.)
And yes, i'm a little picky about who i serve. Again, i know people are going to blast me and say if i was truly a sub i would serve any and all women w/o question. but i'm sorry, i truly want to be attracted to the woman that i serve and have her treat me like a servant in the process. And i do tend to be attracted to more vanilla-looking women.
my bottom-line question is: Can it be that difficult for a decent-looking, otherwise 'normal' guy to find an attractive, businesswoman-type to serve as a general servant and have her be a little selfish and demeaning toward him? They just always seem to think i must be nuts or if they do meet me, they are too 'nice' to me and want to date me.
and i'm not really looking to 'date' the person and break them into this idea gently- i would like a 24/7 (on the weekends) servitude arrangement w/o an emotioonal connection rite out of the gate- i dont want to be anything to them but a pathetic, lowly servant. i just have found that it is better to seperate the personal connection from the arrangemnt i am seeking, basically because i find it difficult to ask the woman that you are falling in love with to suddenly 'treat me like shit'. it just is too contradictory to a loving relationship- but that's a whole 'nother thread... :-)
Your suggestions are appreciated. Thank you.
OK, bare with me, I'm just a little confused. You don't want any sex in this relationship? All you want is to be bossed around by a pretty woman? And she could actually be vanilla, and that would be fine?
Something is wrong here. You should think about being a sub to a Domme. That would get you a better group to pick from. No, not all Dommes are the same. Some won't fit your particular situation at all. Some will be too sexual, some will be too bitchy. But, there surely is a Domme out there that would find it just fine to have you cleaning house, etc. at her command.
You have been looking in all of the non kinky areas for this and I'm sure you have gotten the "you are a pervert" look more than once. That should tell you something. The vanilla women are looking for a man to take care of them. They aren't kinky, so they don't understand what you are asking. You need to be looking in the kinky crowd for this.
Of course, you should be allowed to have your kink, just as anyone else should. And, I'm sure there is a woman out there that is just made to boss you around. But, you are looking for a woman to be a room mate, no sex, only be a bossy room mate. I don't know how you get your sexual kicks, but if you find you a woman, and give her what she wants, she is more than likely going to give you what you want. That's how the relationship game is played.
Stop looking on the general lists for your woman friend. Find you a more kink friendly woman who is aware of the kinky people of the world so she won't be turned off by your request. Make friends with some Domme types and I think you might find one of them that's willing to give you a try. You aren't strange, nor is your request that unusual, in the kinky world. But, it is a strange request, in the vanilla world. I just think you are approaching the wrong flavor of people.
We kinky folks need to stick together, because we tend to scare the vanilla crowd away. But, I'm guessing you already know that.
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