quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I really would advise you go back and communicate exactly - anything that isn;t set out, you can only sit back and accept in reality.  There aren't any rules - only the ones you sort out at the beginning of your relationship and modify as time progress'.  Don't submit to shit that makes you uncomfortable just because you think its how it is done.  Communicate the problems and come to a decision whether you can then submit to him in those ways.  Once it's done, you can't expect anything he doesn't decide.
 
Peace
the.dark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Well don't get worked up over not being perfect- trust me in the grand scheme of things, so far this isn't so bad.

You both made the choice to get into this- he's as much responsible for not making things clear as you are and you both work together to make it strong. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty


Ok... so, if He's still looking for others, i have the right to know that, correct? So i can decide if i'm willing to be in that situation... it all makes better sense from someone else's view. i look at the responses and smack myself upside the head for going about this with one eye closed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty


Ok... so, if He's still looking for others, i have the right to know that, correct? So i can decide if i'm willing to be in that situation... it all makes better sense from someone else's view. i look at the responses and smack myself upside the head for going about this with one eye closed.

Thank God he didn't come in both of your eyes...You would really be screwed!

Anywhoo, I was just discussing this very topic ....About the "rush."  The rush can be the sexual charge or the anticipation that one feels about meeting...But in reality, it is the fact that we have sent a few messages maybe had a conversation or two and now we have cleared a few hurdles and have reached a certain point of comfortability with the other person.....Then when we meet it is all  GO!....GO!....GO!....All of the lights are green...There is no slowing down at this point, and after all you want to be a good subby and who are you to argue or speak up?

I read your profile and it states that you are "straight."  It is a mild inconvenience that will go by the wayside soon enough...It really only means that you haven't yet been forced to dine at the "Y."  All in good time, love, all in good time.

It was probably all mutual up till now? Maybe...Maybe not....Just don't be dumb...Clean the cum out of your other eye and proceed with the same caution you utilized in all of your prior relationships...Or maybe take the lessons learned and try to apply those to your current situation.  If you think this is too daunting of a task...When your current relationship fails, there is a guy in Chicago that would love to make your acquaintance.

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty
See, between O/our schedules, O/our time together face to face is so limited that i don't push the communication thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty
See, between O/our schedules, O/our time together face to face is so limited that i don't push the communication thing.

Now, I'll admit I havent read the entire thread, but this line jumped out at me and screamed *ISSUE*
And, having been there and done that and almost lost the best thing in my life, I have to step up and toss in my 2 cents.
Even if it does mean that you lose a precious meeting time, you have to sit down and seriously discuss everything you are getting into, face to face. Without the "communication thing" what you two have together will never stand a chance to grow into more. The trust, the interest in commitment and the comfort come from communication as well as time playing together.  There is no fault in this, neither of you is wrong for not having done it before. However, you really should push to do so now.
Angel and I spent all our face to face time playing before I moved, since in the 6 months I had him before he was local, we spent only 10 days physically together. He and I both wanted to get the most out of those short times, and since we knew I was going to be moving, we didnt concern ourselves with the "communication thing" while I visited. When I did finally move, thats when we had problems.  All the online and phone conversations in the world had not helped us iron out the small realtime problems. Our first day together after my move and we nearly ended things. Playtime is great, and we enjoyed every second of it, but there were so many issues that came up relating to the REST of our time together, from how we interacted out in the vanilla public to what was expected of him to how he managed to fit me into his schedule, that it nearly fell apart. It is all very important to discuss, make sure every little thing is brought up at some point. Playtime is addictive, enjoyable and can cause tunnelvision. However, if you want to move towards a more fulll relationship then the communication has to be there.

My 2 cents, feel free to ignore it if its useless.

DV

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty

Ok, being relatively new to the lifestyle and completely new to being collared, i have a question. i'm hoping the more experienced can give me their opinions.
i've been seeing a Dom for a while and He presented me with a "training" collar earlier in the week. i accepted. He made it known that i should state on my profile that i am now owned. (i've already read the thread on the different titles and that's a whole other thing for me - i never considered myself a "slave" before but have decided it's not the title i have to be able to accept - it's the expectations).

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty
Made sense to me so i did. Then, i got to thinking (yeah i know - that in itself can get me in trouble), shouldn't He also put a disclaimer in His profile?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Well now that it's claimed you're actually owned and all that, I really am not sure what else advice wise can be done. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Well now that it's claimed you're actually owned and all that, I really am not sure what else advice wise can be done. 

There's nothing to be said except..... where's the betting pool?

C~