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RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 11:28:35 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty

This is something that was brought up as well... it's a period of decision-making... to see if this is going to work for U/us. i guess it's my insecurity that made me even question Him about claiming ownership. Do i really need that from Him if i'm wearing His collar for others to see? i know this is a question that only i can answer - but i do sincerely appreciate E/everyone's input. i tend to make my best choices in life when i can see the situation from many different points of view.

Maybe it's your insecurity.

Or maybe it's your brain telling you there is a HUGE red flag going on here and you don't sit down, examine it, talk to him about it in a relationship time out you are going to be kicking yourself in the butt sometime down the road for not listening to yourself.

Some people don't wear wedding bands. Some people in the BDSM lifestyle don't even wear collars because they don't need that symbol. Some people do. If you want an owner that is so proud to own you that he puts you on his profile and is proud to claim you, why are you settling for something else?

Just a thought...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to apiercedkitty)

Post #: 61

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 11:39:28 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I really would advise you go back and communicate exactly - anything that isn;t set out, you can only sit back and accept in reality. There aren't any rules - only the ones you sort out at the beginning of your relationship and modify as time progress'. Don't submit to shit that makes you uncomfortable just because you think its how it is done. Communicate the problems and come to a decision whether you can then submit to him in those ways. Once it's done, you can't expect anything he doesn't decide.

Peace
the.dark.

God i suck and i hate when i find out i'm the one at fault... cuz, it boils down to my being mostly at fault. Being insecure can sure fuck up one's judgement. See, between O/our schedules, O/our time together face to face is so limited that i don't push the communication thing. And i really don't want to try to sort this kind of thing out online - i'm not sure we could. Anyway, i know He must take some responsibility - but if it's me with the problem, i need to push the envelope until it's worked out. Which is what W/we're doing as i type this... So - thanks to E/everyone who put forth effort to offer me advice on this...

Why are you beating yourself up about this?

You are new and the responsibility to tell you what should have been discussed is equally on his shoulders. As far as pushing it... communication is vital to any relationship but essential to a d/s one in my opinion. Without it, you don't know what you are expected to do. You don't know what he can do. You don't know how he will punish you. You don't know if he will restrict your time with friends, family... you just don't know anything.

Talk more, even if you two have to schedule the time to do it in.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to apiercedkitty)

Post #: 62

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 11:44:49 AM

sirguym

Posts: 318
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline

It comes down to negotiation and discussion.
I don't do cyber or on-line-only slavery, or 24/7 live-in, because I have never seen examples of either that I could see working for me.
My slaves live apart and report to me for training or use at least once a month, sometimes more often.
If someone asks and I may consider them; or I consider I may want them and that they may accept, I talk it over and give them a draft contract, to discuss and think over. They can ask about anything, what it may mean, etc. and ask for any changes they like.
I may concede points, or if it gets to the point where I feel I do not benefit from it enough to want to bother I will tell them so.
The contract I use is based on lots of other models I have seen.
It has been amended time and time again for each and every slave I take, and in the light of experience of ownership.
If it becomes apparent there is a problem with some term of the contract, then it may be discussed, though discussion may be delayed until it is convenient for me, and if changes seem advisable they are verbally agreed and the contract is formally amended when it comes up for renewal.
If my slave, or prospective slave has a problem I would expect her to discuss it with me, and only with me; perhaps in certain delicate circumstances wth another slave of mine as I do let them communicate with each other to a limited extent.
However I would consider that discussing it publicly like this to be gross discourtesy towards me, unless I had given her permission to publicly air the issue after private discussion - which I may do if I genuinely cannot decide one way or aniother and don't really care.
I would expect any slave of mine to treat me with respect in private and in public, (and I put that in the contract too), and raising issues of this sort publicly is by implication a public criticism of my not sorting out all the issues properly.
As for the Master declaring ownership of a slave in his profile, my view is that he should definitely not be obliged to and would be well advised to not do so.
He should be free to take as many slaves as he want and that should be in each and every contract too.
No slave can serve more than one Master, as the Christian Bible so correctly says.
(Not that I take it seriously as a guide to morals or anuything else!)
But a Master can take as many slaves as he can support or use.
It is nobody's business but his own and theirs who they are.

(in reply to SayaNereida)

Post #: 63

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 11:51:57 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirguym
No slave can serve more than one Master, as the Christian Bible so correctly says.
(Not that I take it seriously as a guide to morals or anuything else!)
But a Master can take as many slaves as he can support or use.
It is nobody's business but his own and theirs who they are.

Actually plenty of slaves can and do serve more than one master quite fine.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sirguym)

Post #: 64

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 12:02:52 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

does anyone get the symbol of BDSM and what it really means. I tend to wonder the three make ups of our lifestyle
mind body ,spirit people always focus on the first two never on the third no wonder we have fractal persona's.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 65

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 12:06:34 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

does anyone get the symbol of BDSM and what it really means. I tend to wonder the three make ups of our lifestyle
mind body ,spirit people always focus on the first two never on the third no wonder we have fractal persona's.

In my research of the symbol, which I did for a painting, it stood for those and stood for the three basic orientations: dominant, submissive and switch. However, it's meaning varies from person to person and just like the defination of sub and slave, there is no one correct defination. However, I'll check for you and see if I can dig up the link to the site I used.

Edited because I remembered wrong and to provide the site (if you are interested): http://emblemproject.sagcs.net/is.htm

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 8/10/2007 12:10:12 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 66

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 12:14:16 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

There is no one agreed decision on this. I posted that I was his on my profile a lot before he did. But I did it myself to stop the HNG emails. At some point months later I noticed he hadn't mentioned me and I asked why. He laughed and said he wished he got any unsolicited emails from femsubs lining up to be his. And then he wrote something very sweet about me not because he had to but because he knew I was hurt that he hadn't and that wasn't and still isn't an emotional response he wants out of me.

Basically, does he have to? No. Does it cost him anything to do something this small and make you feel happy instead of insecure? Also no. So why would he want you to keep feeling off balance and unwanted? That's the real question you need answered. It isn't about fairness, it's about doing things that make your partner happy instead of doing things, or not doing things, that make them unhappy. If you need to be claimed, then that's what you need and he needs to hear that in very simple terms. If he ignores your needs, then you've learned something important about him.

(in reply to SayaNereida)

Post #: 67

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 12:25:31 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

the symbol was inspired from the story of o and was created in the 1990s i know i was there i saw in a aol chat room when they were talking about it

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 68

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 12:28:39 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

LOL the symbol is a triskellion and is a lot more ancient than the Story of O. Do some research.

It was converted by some net person and taken up by a lot of people.

Personally, I don't use the symbol at all, I much prefer the leather pride flag.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 69

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 6:04:51 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty
He must take some responsibility

Well, yeah, he's the experienced one. He should know better.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to apiercedkitty)

Post #: 70

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 7:52:00 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

LOL the symbol is a triskellion and is a lot more ancient than the Story of O. Do some research.

It was converted by some net person and taken up by a lot of people.

Personally, I don't use the symbol at all, I much prefer the leather pride flag.

i know how old it is. i am just saying in bdsm context of what happen on aol yep yep

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 71

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 8:28:08 PM

TigerNINTails

Posts: 178
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

LOL the symbol is a triskellion and is a lot more ancient than the Story of O. Do some research.

Absolutely, though I'm not sure when the Story of O really was first written. Every copy I've seen of it had several endings, and the movie was made with modern adaptations, while there are some written versions that took place in the time of the Victorian era.

As for the age of the Triskellion, I'm not sure, I haven't researched that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It was converted by some net person and taken up by a lot of people.

That I'm not so sure about. There's evidence (though I'm not sure how empirical, it just seems this way to me, being a kinkster myself) that one of the writers for the original Star Trek (yeah, yeah, sue me) was a kinkster themselves, as there was an episode that had to do with slaves, gladiatorial fighting, leather outfits, and skimpy at that, etc. and this was happening on a planet called... Ironically... "Treskellis" and the symbol of the Triskellion was prominent in this episode.

This episode took place sometime in the '60's... Long before the net was lkely ever a concept. I mean, this was when people like the head of IBM was quoted as saying "The market for a home based computer might amount to three people." LOL... Of course, the concept of the net might have popped up before computers really took hold, seeing as they had network communications between colleges in the late '70's and early 80's, and it was a secure form of military communications, using IRC servers, well before the public ever latched onto it.

Anyway, the Triskellion has been a symbol of something "alternative for quite a lot longer than some net-geeks adaptation of the symbol, so far as I can tell.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Personally, I don't use the symbol at all, I much prefer the leather pride flag.

Personally, I don't even have something in my memory for knowing what that looks like. I probably haven't ever seen it. Or, I'm just suffering from CRS, one or the other.

But I like the way the Triskellion looks... It reminds me of a Buddhist symbol... It also has a circular flow that's appealing and it tends to evoke a feeling of balance, not unlike a Yin Yang...

As an aside, suspension rings patterned after it are a lot stronger than just a ring.

Everyone else has pretty much said anything I could or would have said about the OP, so there's no point in that now.

Peace.

_____________________________

Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 72

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 9:00:19 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

LOL the symbol is a triskellion and is a lot more ancient than the Story of O. Do some research.

Absolutely, though I'm not sure when the Story of O really was first written. Every copy I've seen of it had several endings, and the movie was made with modern adaptations, while there are some written versions that took place in the time of the Victorian era.

As for the age of the Triskellion, I'm not sure, I haven't researched that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It was converted by some net person and taken up by a lot of people.

That I'm not so sure about. There's evidence (though I'm not sure how empirical, it just seems this way to me, being a kinkster myself) that one of the writers for the original Star Trek (yeah, yeah, sue me) was a kinkster themselves, as there was an episode that had to do with slaves, gladiatorial fighting, leather outfits, and skimpy at that, etc. and this was happening on a planet called... Ironically... "Treskellis" and the symbol of the Triskellion was prominent in this episode.

This episode took place sometime in the '60's... Long before the net was lkely ever a concept. I mean, this was when people like the head of IBM was quoted as saying "The market for a home based computer might amount to three people." LOL... Of course, the concept of the net might have popped up before computers really took hold, seeing as they had network communications between colleges in the late '70's and early 80's, and it was a secure form of military communications, using IRC servers, well before the public ever latched onto it.

Anyway, the Triskellion has been a symbol of something "alternative for quite a lot longer than some net-geeks adaptation of the symbol, so far as I can tell.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Personally, I don't use the symbol at all, I much prefer the leather pride flag.

Personally, I don't even have something in my memory for knowing what that looks like. I probably haven't ever seen it. Or, I'm just suffering from CRS, one or the other.

But I like the way the Triskellion looks... It reminds me of a Buddhist symbol... It also has a circular flow that's appealing and it tends to evoke a feeling of balance, not unlike a Yin Yang...

As an aside, suspension rings patterned after it are a lot stronger than just a ring.

Everyone else has pretty much said anything I could or would have said about the OP, so there's no point in that now.

Peace.

ref to darpa

(in reply to TigerNINTails)

Post #: 73

RE: show of ownership - 8/10/2007 9:58:35 PM

TigerNINTails

Posts: 178
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline

Precisely... That is if you're referring to my referrence to the initial formation of what is now the "internet", yes.

_____________________________

Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 74

RE: show of ownership - 8/12/2007 10:04:05 AM

blmtrsne

Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline

My slave is registered in www.slaveregister.com (000-733-561). As you can see on his picture, He has been tatoued, proving he's my slave. This is only visible to others when I want it (tatou above his penis on the pubic area), but I can show it without having to expose him completely if I want to f.i. by pulling his swimsuit low, but not to low. As the side explains, the registration is owned by the slave himself, so that the number stays tghe same, the Mistress might change, fi if you pass on your slave. They have a section on marking your slave as well: colloring with a label, tatou, branding.
My slave
- is tatoud,
- registered
- wears a Nokia-GSM with emitting in the enviromment (20 mrs or so) that he is Femdom owned, enabeling woman to react and request him to make him out himself to them only,

I would like to chip him, inserting a RFID-chip ( it's in use for dogs, horses, cats and some humans whose house recognizes them and react on their presence) as soon as there is a practical reading solution (portable round your wrist, codes between Femdoms available). RFID would carry the slavenumber and a FEMDOM code f.i.

_____________________________

-- Owner of slrn733561 --

(in reply to SayaNereida)

Post #: 75

RE: show of ownership - 8/12/2007 10:21:38 AM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

i have not read all the responses.

Having said that.... in my opinion... the training collar in your situation is one where he wants you to be owned (or not looking any more), while he continues to search. If i put on my profile that i am owned, i am only doing so with the full knowledge that he has acknowledged that he owns me his profile. But then again i am not one that believes in training collars or collars of consideration. He either wants me and only me or he does not. No middle ground there.

< Message edited by angelic -- 8/12/2007 10:22:49 AM >

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to apiercedkitty)

Post #: 76

RE: show of ownership - 8/12/2007 1:28:35 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

Well, after reading the entire thread, I have to say, the whole situation still smells funky to me. It's too much, too fast, in my opinion, especially when all the details were not ironed out before the training collar cum slave collar was buckled on. I'm still seeing red flags all over it, quite honestly. That said, I hope I'm all wet and things work out beautifully for you both.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to angelic)

Post #: 77

RE: show of ownership - 8/12/2007 2:07:19 PM

ShyMistress

Posts: 173
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: your sexiest nightmare ;)
Status: offline

It varies for each of Us....

Myself, I actually put the announcment upon My jounal and profile the same day as My kajira...but before her lol. We had offered her Our steel the night before to her acceptance. I found it a way to show her My pleasure at taking her as Ours, and to make it known We were "off the market". She was shocked and thrilled and did the same to her journal and profile as soon as she saw Mine, with a introduction by Me at the beginning of the profile. My Sir did the same with His as well. So...

My personal suggestion to is to be completely frank with Him that you do not see it as a way to block females from contacting Him...but rather an extension of His pride in you as a slave/sub/whatever you are to yourself and Him and the love He has for you. Chances are His reaction will tell you alot as if He is a player there will be a thousand reasons not to...but if genuine...well...He may just see your point and agree to claim you as "His" on His profile.

Good luck

_____________________________

"Everyone is a potential naked slave to You once You become a Trainer." -Anne Rice-

~*~ Proud Owner of kajiradream, patiently awaiting her return Home ~*~

(in reply to apiercedkitty)

Post #: 78

RE: show of ownership - 8/12/2007 2:52:18 PM

ShyMistress

Posts: 173
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: your sexiest nightmare ;)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThorDonar

I am the proud owner of apiercedkitty. Her collar is no longer a training collar, it started out that way because I wanted to avoid giving her a heart attach. She has now willing accepted my ownership and this makes me very happy. I will cherish her and protect her. It is my fault that everything was not clear to her and I will work to rectify this, so she knows how much I care for her. I have updated my profile, as I planned on doing, I just presented her with the opportunity to suggest what I should write. I am trying to take things slowly as to not scare her off, but things can get rather intense since we are so attracted to eachother. I am just happy gazing into her eyes and kissing her beautiful lips. The rest we will work out over time.

Thor

And I guess this puts all of it to final rest...Good wishes to Y/you both in Y/your journey together.

_____________________________

"Everyone is a potential naked slave to You once You become a Trainer." -Anne Rice-

~*~ Proud Owner of kajiradream, patiently awaiting her return Home ~*~

(in reply to ThorDonar)

Post #: 79

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