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RE: completely confused about my place - 8/12/2007 9:54:32 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
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Your hormones are natural and not the problem. This, from your OP, is the problem: "His mind is quite sociopathic. He has no emotional feelings."

Whether he is technically a sociopath or not, bear in mind that these people are master manipulators. I am quite certain you believe you are in love with the man, and that being a good submissive to him means that you have no choices and that these lack of fulfillment in the sexual aspect of your relationship is your problem. However, the man is sleeping with 2-3 women each week, according to your post, while you hunger on the sidelines, waiting for that one time in 6-8 weeks, where it's you he uses. He tells you what you want to hear at that time to keep you around.

He is manipulating you, and very well. It's now up to you whether you choose to live as his true toy, or if you will move on to find a happy and healthy relationship.

The replies you have received apparently are not the ones you wanted to hear, but they hurt because they probably contain more truth than you're willing to accept right now.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: completely confused about my place - 8/12/2007 10:06:07 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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I can't tell you how to be happy, other than to choose what situations you know will make you fulfilled and likely lead you to happiness.

I can't tell a monogamous person how to be fulfilled in a polyamorous situation. THere's some changes that just won't work. They either have the connection and are fulfilled by it, or they don't and they aren't. It doesn't make you a bad slave.

If you were having trouble sleeping, or dealing with lack of orgasms, or some THING, tangible and changeable, I'd have all sorts of coping mechanisms- vanilla people have had them forever.

But this? It really is simply a foundational issue. You either get it or you don't.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: completely confused about my place - 8/13/2007 12:29:12 AM

NefertariReborn

Posts: 381
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She's with a hawttt man! Can't you people see her rationalization? He's hawtttt! She doesn't give a fig about the other women....probably doesn't care if he's giving her the gifts that keep on giving. What she WANTS quite frankly is a way to get some of their 5%. She wants more sex. No advice about running or therapy is gonna get this chick out of that hawtttt man's place. (Her friends probably tell her how hawttt her man is too. )

(Thinks to Myself that perhaps if she stood up for herself a bit more he'd take notice. Then again he might not because he's probably boning some hawttt girls himself. )

Advice the OP: Buy a vibrator --- and lots of batteries.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: completely confused about my place - 8/13/2007 1:51:33 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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ah the OP returned. sigh. I still hold with my orig. postings.

don't lose sleep over the guy. Maybe he ain't bringing the prettier (in your mind) girls home because they have ugly hearts. Seems like if a guy's behavior can cause ruin to your self esteem, it is not because he is cheating, it is because he returns. Instead of feeling blessed, you want to wonder why he does. Take it or leave it, but Don't make him EVER think your pretty heart has turned ugly.

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RE: completely confused about my place - 8/13/2007 2:38:54 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

ah the OP returned. sigh. I still hold with my orig. postings.

don't lose sleep over the guy. Maybe he ain't bringing the prettier (in your mind) girls home because they have ugly hearts. Seems like if a guy's behavior can cause ruin to your self esteem, it is not because he is cheating, it is because he returns. Instead of feeling blessed, you want to wonder why he does. Take it or leave it, but Don't make him EVER think your pretty heart has turned ugly.

came4U perhaps you should go back and read the OP again as you have misunderstood some of what she said. She lives with the guy and does not just visit him. He does not have 3 women a night (goodness knows where you got that idea from). Maybe something she said touched a nerve with you but I really don't think there is a need for you to get quite so snarky.

To the OP. please think about what you want from this relationship. You are obviously not happy with it the way it is so what would you do to make it perfect. Write a list of things that you would like to change. Leave it for a few days then go back and look at the list again. Are any of the things on the list things you think would ever change between him and you. Do you really care about him the person or is it his looks etc that have you hooked? Please remember that people who enter a relationship with the idea that you can change the other person to what you want them to be are always disappointed. You need to be happy with the person as they are not what you think they could be. If you are not happy, he is not the right one for you.

(in reply to came4U)

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RE: completely confused about my place - 8/13/2007 2:45:05 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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Yes, I get that she lives with him now. I also get he doesn't sleep with 3 others per night. What is he a machine?? Snarky? with her? Maybe you should read again. I am telling her again and again to not lose sleep over him or let him be the self esteem gripper.

and touched a nerve? lol, sure, I said I dated someone similar. It was hawwt. I liked the situation but he never made me feel less attractive because of it, I lost little sleep over it. I tolerated, since I made my bed and decided to lay in it. He is still a good friend of mine. All good memories.

< Message edited by came4U -- 8/13/2007 2:49:50 AM >

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Post #: 66