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RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/22/2007 5:24:15 PM

wetsub4u

Posts: 28
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline

i definitely agree with Michael .. i 'met' a "Dom" online here and we chatted nightly for a few months ,, very long letters back and forth as well .. he was the one who initiated meeting .. even mentioned the place .. then when the day was getting near .. he stopped communicating .. chnged his profile, saying he only wanted an 'online relationship' ... not what he had to begin with. Shortly after his profile disappeared .. probably resurrected under a new name.

_____________________________

In quietness and confidence there is strength.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 41

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/22/2007 6:54:34 PM

ocilla

Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

This is not a phenomenon exclusive to BDSM sites. I found my way here to cm through a vanilla dating site. Just as many poofers there as I encountered here. The one that was painful though was the guy on the vanilla site who turned me on to the world of BDSM. He apparently has never actually met or spoken with anyone in person about BDSM - a complete fantasy internet sub.

Anyway, here I am ,almost a year later and face to face meetings have been abundant and fun - even when not connecting as a LT match I've not met anyone that was not really cool (luckily I never ran into Domiguy!). I've had one person only chicken out the day before a meet up.

But I do have to admit..... I am terrified to meet micheal in person and we are both in Georgia.

LOL. But micheal, if I ever see you at a munch or 1763 I will say hello - promise. So long as its a well lit room with lots of other people around. ;-)

< Message edited by ocilla -- 8/22/2007 7:02:56 PM >

_____________________________

Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to wetsub4u)

Post #: 42

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/22/2007 8:23:52 PM

bound4u2use

Posts: 6
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline

i think it's because they are actually involved with someone else, and when it gets too real, they have to cut and run.

(in reply to MistressJane23)

Post #: 43

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/22/2007 10:25:56 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

I've met people from online and not had a problem with someone not showing up. I think when someone disappears online it's a good thing. It means you aren't stuck wasting more time on that dud. If they can't stick with you online they'd never make it in reality. Brush off the crumbs and forget about them. It's not a bad idea to keep a list of userIDs. That way you can just delete them when they mistakenly forget they already disappointed you once. It's pretty silly to get the same form email from the same guy just a month later. But it happens.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 44

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/23/2007 12:18:55 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I met a wonderful woman off of here...We shared time that would be envied by most....After that, she never contacted me again....On lonely evenings I find my thoughts drifting towards her, I wonder how she is and what she is doing....It is moments such as these that I force myself to recall upon the fact that I killed her.

Lmao

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 45

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/24/2007 9:30:36 PM

Subboy06

Posts: 18
Joined: 7/29/2007
Status: offline

I drove all the way down to cincinnati from columbus to meet a Mistress this was a weel after she'd come up to Columbus and bought me a sandwitch. I ended up cleaning up her home she ran out to get some groceries and was soo shocked that I had everything done by the time she got back she dropped her groceries. However now she never emails me back or returns my calls or anything.

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)

Post #: 46

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/24/2007 9:35:50 PM

MissJana

Posts: 112
Joined: 6/10/2007
Status: offline

I have asked myself this way too many times. Some people have just too much time on their hands that they have to jerk people around for their amusement

.

(in reply to Subboy06)

Post #: 47

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/24/2007 10:29:07 PM

Subboy06

Posts: 18
Joined: 7/29/2007
Status: offline

*Shrugs* I was bored and looking to help out since she'd promised to make me lunch if I was good.

(in reply to MissJana)

Post #: 48

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/25/2007 9:56:51 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Cold feet is usually why i tend to up and leave. It may also be because he's nervous

(in reply to MistressJane23)

Post #: 49

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/26/2007 2:10:09 AM

trusting

Posts: 144
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline

i have always thought that the people afraid to meet or just vanish... are those that are married or they are not who they claim to be!

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"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one." -Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 50

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/26/2007 6:13:04 AM

valkyriesdaughte

Posts: 38
Joined: 6/10/2007
Status: offline

We must have been talking to the same people. I can identify at least 3 so called "doms" who have gone incommunicado on me; at least 2 of them came back under a different name. Hint to players- when you use the same pic and profile, you're easy to spot! REAL Doms have the guts to say "not feelin' ya'".

I'm so much cooler on line,
yeah I'm cooler online;

"Girls think that I'm mysterious,
I tell 'em I don't want nothin' too serious;
cause I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
every time I log in"

"I'm living out in Hollywood,
I've got 6 pack abs and I look damn good;
even on a slow day, I can have a 3-way
chat with two women at the same time
yeah, I'm so much cooler online"

Brad Paisley I believe- and oh so true!

(in reply to wetsub4u)

Post #: 51

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/26/2007 6:55:18 AM

uwantme2ownu

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline

lately I keep running in sub/slave that like to play games. Are most of them married and have a fantasy about this type of relationship. But very scared to complete it?

(in reply to valkyriesdaughte)

Post #: 52

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/26/2007 8:03:38 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I havent disappeared, I'm still here.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to uwantme2ownu)

Post #: 53

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/26/2007 9:14:10 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Why do subs disappear? There's a real simple answer to this. You see, there are subs and antisubs. When a sub and an antisub converge, they annihilate each other totally. There's really nothing you can do about the process. It's a law of nature.

The sticking point is that e-mailing a sub, unfortunately, has the observed consequence of producing an antisub. THAT'S the real mystery.

(in reply to MistressJane23)

Post #: 54

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/26/2007 10:08:57 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

i had a Dominant totally flake on me...

and after i met Sir, i messaged him and thanked him for his failure to follow through, as it had enabled me to meet Sir, because i wasnt waiting on him to message/call/meet in person.

kitten, whose Sir was VERY amused by this....

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 55

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/26/2007 10:47:53 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

Yes, had the same thing happen on several occasions. Just goes with the territory, I guess. I agree about some getting cold feet and the ones who live in fantasy land and can't make the transition into reality. I think sometimes they also meet what they think is a better prospect and don't know how to break the news to the first person, so just stop communicating. And of course there are the ones who are married but misrepresenting themselves as single online.

The ones that really get me are the ones who go "poof"--then reappear weeks or months later acting like nothing happened, expecting to pick right back up where we left off. One recently disappeared after we had been in daily contact for a week or so and were making plans to meet. Out of the blue, he started ignoring my e-mail, though I could see he was on the site daily. After a few weeks, he contacted me again, asking how I was and wondering why he had not heard from me (when he had been the one to ignore my e-mail!). No explanation whatsoever for his absense or for blowing me off, just wanted to know if I wanted to go out for coffee. Needless to say, that's one who did not get a reply.

Lady Topaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressJane23

I'm just confused. Someone says he's really interested, I put aside some time to chat with him with a view towards meeting up, and suddenly his profile is gone.

Cold feet? Fantasist? Offended someone else and got deleted?

One wonders.

Jane

(in reply to MistressJane23)

Post #: 56

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/26/2007 1:36:16 PM

MiladyElaine

Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline

Well you're a Dom - what do you have to be afraid of?
Us Women have to worry about the sub not being really a sub and overpowering Us!
I just ditched one because he claimed to be born in a certain state and when I went to check the database at that states public records, they had never heard of him. They claimed to have checked the entire nation and the only one of any spelling closely resembling his was here in Texas, where I was!
Paranoid? Perhaps, but I won't tolerate lies.

_____________________________

A crazy quilt is warm but oddly put together.

Milady

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 57

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/26/2007 3:48:55 PM

ThudBaby

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline

Provided that he's for real (i.e. did have the intention of meeting you) I'd say you did something to either scare or turn him off. That's the only reason I've ever disappeared on somebody (which I did - once each). The guy that scared me came on WAY to strong re: his emotionally attachment to me. The guy that turned me off made a super condescending comment about being a submissive. Which, okay, I know, I'm was a sub at the time but we weren't in role, it was our first meeting (although he kept insisting it was our second because we'd run into each other at a munch), and I enjoyed the conversation but he was just too pushy. I left the meeting intending to meet him again to give him another chance but the more thought about his attitude, the less I wanted anything to do with him.

Of course, from the update of you talking to him - I'd say he's just a flake with red flags...lol But, I always tell people you have to determine your own red flags because everyone said my Master had too many red flags and that's not the case at all. =)

(in reply to MiladyElaine)

Post #: 58

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/26/2007 4:02:19 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

time machines is the answer i am gonna go with....

(in reply to ThudBaby)

Post #: 59

RE: Why do subs disappear? - 8/26/2007 4:09:27 PM

shyboy66

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I met a wonderful woman off of here...We shared time that would be envied by most....After that, she never contacted me again....On lonely evenings I find my thoughts drifting towards her, I wonder how she is and what she is doing....It is moments such as these that I force myself to recall upon the fact that I killed her.

Ok, not sure if that's funny or scary ! :)

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

But *THAT* is brilliant - i'm gonna use that one

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 60

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