RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions

RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (Full Version)

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celticlord2112 -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 12:29:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet quote: ORIGINAL: celticlord2112 Ok, now...say that ten times fast! i shall considerate it.....Sir.....in a considerately considerate consideration of course chia* (the pet) Your facility with conjugations of consider is....considerable.

KiandPhoenix -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 1:20:51 AM)
Everyone on this website is now under my consideration. No one is allowed to speak to anyone else unless approved by me. Any messages anyone on this site receives should be forwarded to me, unless you have already sent me your log in and password so that I may screen them myself and tell you what you should reply. Failure to do this will get you a sound whipping [sm=crop.gif] and banned from future communications with anyone else on this site, as well as it might effect your consideration. This not only applies to all subs/slaves/switches, but also to all doms and dommes as well. Don’t forget you Gor men I am considering you also so you all better watch your step! ~Ki [sm=banghead.gif]

EvilGeoff -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 1:37:12 AM)
Hey Dad... can I have the car keys?

KiandPhoenix -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 1:46:05 AM)
You can have my car keys when you get both of my two broken cars working. ~Ki

MissMagnolia -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 2:05:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KiandPhoenix You can have my car keys when you get both of my two broken cars working. ~Ki have you considered..........oh never mind.

Cyntilating -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 3:49:10 AM)
If I am reading the OPs meaning in his posting> He is concerned about the submissives that are accepting this practice as "correct and expected " of them when demanded to do so by "just any ol dom who says hes interested online". If the prospective sub is allowing this to happen ( restricted, controlled and scrutinized by someone who hasn't met her and/or committed to her and/or earned her complete trust) she/he most likely already has bigger issues than whether she/he should or shouldnt be allowed to keep the emails private......seems to me, the real issue is the inability to see a dangerous blurring of the lines that distinguish dominance from abusive controlling...and submitting vs being/playing a victim.. What feels like and IS earned& existing trust vs what is more her/his wanting something to be real. attempting to control something(one) that isn't yours to control???? HUGE red flag. "considering" me?? well alrighty then I will consider your consideration ...and YOU can consider yourself under consideration as well : ) <what is so hard, or wrong, about that ??

arayofsunshine55 -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 6:15:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: punkdom First, while speech restrictions were always a part of D/s, never was this idea of letting your prospective Dom monitor all your communications from the get go condoned in the BDSM community. All of a sudden, I'm seeing all these newbie Doms thinking the current conception of "Under Consideration" somehow has become the norm of D/s protocol and are copying it and codifying it. Meanwhile, its become pervasive and prevalent enough, that novice submissives are accepting this as a norm. You're 27. All of a sudden you're seeing something? You sound like my 80 year old mother but she's lived a long life and all of a sudden means the past decade or two. How do you know that "speech restrictions were always a part of D/s"? What is "always"? As a concept it "under consideration" doesn't work for me. But neither does banning what consenting adults should be able to figure out together. And I'm not of the poor femsub doesn't know her mind is so fragile and will get taken advantage of school of thought. We're all adults. With minds. We need to each figure out what works for us. Anyone who thinks that the supposed "norm" has to apply to her needs to think more deeply IMO. Being new should never mean being encouraged to give up responsibility or thought. At least not in my mind. That would be a better crusade if you asked me. Or if I ruled the world.

kc692 -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 6:53:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 Why can't the sub just ask the Dom if XYZ is true or not, or is possible or not? I'm sorry, but I can't see why emailing, at least with other subs, is so dangerous. Showing the emails, and asking what the person is on about, might help them decide if the Dom/me is someone who's genuine. I can understand that a Dom/me wouldn't be ecstatic about a prospective sub chatting with other Dom/mes, but swapping notes with fellow subs? It seems that for the Dom/me it's about control, and stopping bad influences, so that the sub can be developed in the direction the Dom/me wants. For the sub it's about safety, and important information, and emotional support. I think we're coming from totally different directions on this one. I stopped right here, so it may have been addressed further in the thread, but the OP was talking specifically about talking with other dominants. I imagine his hard luck has brought him " a day late and a dollar short" with ones he may be interested in, and is now grousing that another dominant is monitoring his communications with a sub. I have different levels on communications with other dominants when I have a sub under consideration. That term to me means something; it means I am engaged in more than pleasant chat/communications/meetings with that sub, and I have the right to let the situation progress as I feel it warrants. The OP can do with his subs under consideration as he wants, as will I. I would never isolate (online or real life) any sub, potential or collared from speaking with others. If, however, they have progressed to the point I am considering making them mine, and they are considering taking my collar, I will have say so who they communicate with. shrugs that is my way though, they are free to say no, and continue their search for a dominant that is more suited to them if that is a problem. I will also add the disclaimer that my last collared slave had free reign to talk with certain dominants on this site, as I felt they were able to help her objectively with some of her questions. edited to add: I did monitor which subs she was talking with also,,,,,,not necessarily to stop them from communicating but there is a thing as "whacko subs" just like "whacko dom/mes" Added also: I will stress that in my lifestyle part of my life, I do not do online, except if there is the possibility to change to rl, if I am doing online for other reasons they will never be mine anyway,

beargonewild -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 7:22:17 AM)
~fast reply~ Personally I'm not fond of this "under consideration" though that's just me. When I was working with a potential sub, I didn't restrct his communications with others, nor did I screen his emails either. My thought is he is an adult with the ability to sort throught he garbage and if he needed any clarification, then he knew he could come to me. KiandPhoenix: since I'm under consideration now, how should I address you? grins

Jeffff -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 7:40:31 AM)
WOW.....Both .."plastination and omniscience in the same thread....gotta like the literate..:) Jeff " If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn" Charlie Parker

SimplyMichael -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 7:46:11 AM)
Some days I love this place, some days I don't. What a bunch of assholes you guys can be. I frankly see "under consideration" as a big neon sign saying "I am an idiot and so is the moron considering me"! I am glad people do it because it really helps sort out the idiots. Of course you are an exception but 99% of the time it is stupid people considering other stupid people and I can't believe the vitriol dumped on the guy for saying so.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 7:49:52 AM)
What a treat you are to read, Michael. Signed, The asshole stupid idiot who belongs to her moron Master [;)]

kyraofMists -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 7:50:36 AM)
I think the vitriol was more in reaction to banning something between consenting adults and not necessarily because he doesn't like the use of "under consideration". Once you start banning behavior between consenting adults because some people think it is stupid, then where does the line get drawn? Knight's Kyra

adoracat -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 7:51:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff Hey Dad... can I have the car keys? i'm not Dad, but i'll let you take the whole car... of course its sitting in the yard with a cracked engine block, but there ya go. kitten....who is considerate, but isnt kidding. sighs

hardbodysub -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 8:04:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: punkdom I'm going to take the brunt of a lot of criticism for this, but I'll say right now, I think Collarme and the D/s community as a whole should stop condoning the practice of "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions and ban it from the site. First, while speech restrictions were always a part of D/s, never was this idea of letting your prospective Dom monitor all your communications from the get go condoned in the BDSM community. All of a sudden, I'm seeing all these newbie Doms thinking the current conception of "Under Consideration" somehow has become the norm of D/s protocol and are copying it and codifying it. Meanwhile, its become pervasive and prevalent enough, that novice submissives are accepting this as a norm. NO! Restricting access to others communicating with you is dangerous! This is not the practice at all in real world D/s socializing where submissives frequently interact with many other Dom and Dommes in their community and hear rumors, stories, and opinions about anyone they play with and are considering submitting to. But now "UNDER CONSIDERATION" has become a practice being used by stalkers, abusers, etc. to monitor a girl's mail and sometimes to keep others from relaying caution stories about the person a sub is about to submit too. There is inherent danger to this practice and if a Dom demands this - RUN! But even to a lesser degree, accepting restrictions from talking to others right off the bat, particularly if you are an inexperienced sub, is very bad news as it limits your ability to hear warnings about unsafe play from other Doms or Dommes and use other people as sounding boards. That said, its fine to tell Doms to "respect that you're considering someone and don't contact you," or once you've reached a place of trust, have your Dom place certain speech restrictions upon you - but UNDER CONSIDERATION as it has now come to be understood on this site should not be condoned and I urge all subs to set a hard limit against restrictions on communicating with others - particularly in the first three months until you can be more sure someone is a safe and sane D/s player. There are a lot of foolish practices, in my opinion. Unfortunately, you can't ban foolishness. It's very persistent. And, just in case it's not obvious, although it should be: I'm not calling any particular person or practice here foolish or stupid (although I might think it); my opinion is no better than anyone else's (although I probably think mine is better); anyone else should feel free to voice an opinion that differs from mine, even to the point of calling mine foolish or stupid (although I might not like it, and of course they'd be wrong); and ... anything else that I forgot to include that might inoculate me against persecution by the political correctness police.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 8:08:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists I think the vitriol was more in reaction to banning something between consenting adults and not necessarily because he doesn't like the use of "under consideration". Once you start banning behavior between consenting adults because some people think it is stupid, then where does the line get drawn? Knight's Kyra Kyra, Yours is a reasoned response and frankly I missed the part about banning it. However, I don't think it justified the vitriol and as your post showed, it can clearly be responded to in polite ways.

hardbodysub -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 8:22:22 AM)
I don't entirely get this concept. How does one monitor someone else's correspondence, anyway? I wasn't aware that this site gave anyone this capability, technically. If it's just on the honor system, then the whole idea doesn't seem quite as sinister.

kyraofMists -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 8:36:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Kyra, Yours is a reasoned response and frankly I missed the part about banning it. However, I don't think it justified the vitriol and as your post showed, it can clearly be responded to in polite ways. Thank you, Michael. There are not many things that I think justify vitriol, but that is because I am so tender-hearted. As he likes to say, I am "delicate" [8D] How I ever ended up completely fulfilled in a relationship with a sadist will boggle my mind for years g Knight's Kyra

angelic -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 8:38:10 AM)
i went back and read the OP again, because i did not understand what everyone was up in arm's about. It must have been my adrenaline affected brain yesterday that missed the part about banning. i certainly do not agree with banning "Under Consideration"... (i mean c'mon how can one actually ban that type of stuff), but still i think "Under Consideration" simply means "'I' am going to continue to search, but 'you' must stop." And that raises red flags with me. Do i think it should raise red flags with everyone? Well, yes! [8D] But that does not mean i expect it to happen.

RavenMuse -> RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions (8/18/2007 8:42:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterGremlin I don't give a flying f#$% what anyone else condones. What happens between U/us is determined by U/us not you or any other individual or group or "community". Yep. I must admit that the OP 'could' be read as someone with good intentions.... or as someone sulking because it stopped him trying to poach before the sub was fully committed. bottom line... it is fantasy bull, there is no way to enforce such a thing!

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