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ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

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ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

Ok, now...say that ten times fast!

i shall considerate it.....Sir.....in a considerately considerate consideration of course

chia* (the pet) 

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ORIGINAL: KiandPhoenix

You can have my car keys when you get both of my two broken cars working.

~Ki

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ORIGINAL: punkdom
First, while speech restrictions were always a part of D/s, never was this idea of letting your prospective Dom monitor all your communications from the get go condoned in the BDSM community. All of a sudden, I'm seeing all these newbie Doms thinking the current conception of "Under Consideration" somehow has become the norm of D/s protocol and are copying it and codifying it. Meanwhile, its become pervasive and prevalent enough, that novice submissives are accepting this as a norm.

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ORIGINAL: becca333

Why can't the sub just ask the Dom if XYZ is true or not, or is possible or not?

I'm sorry, but I can't see why emailing, at least with other subs, is so dangerous.  Showing the emails, and asking what the person is on about, might help them decide if the Dom/me is someone who's genuine.

I can understand that a Dom/me wouldn't be ecstatic about a prospective sub chatting with other Dom/mes, but swapping notes with fellow subs? 

It seems that for the Dom/me it's about control, and stopping bad influences, so that the sub can be developed in the direction the Dom/me wants.  For the sub it's about safety, and important information, and emotional support.  I think we're coming from totally different directions on this one.

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ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

Hey Dad... can I have the car keys?

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ORIGINAL: punkdom

I'm going to take the brunt of a lot of criticism for this, but I'll say right now, I think Collarme and the D/s community as a whole should stop condoning the practice of "Under Consideration" Speech Restrictions and ban it from the site.

First, while speech restrictions were always a part of D/s, never was this idea of letting your prospective Dom monitor all your communications from the get go condoned in the BDSM community. All of a sudden, I'm seeing all these newbie Doms thinking the current conception of "Under Consideration" somehow has become the norm of D/s protocol and are copying it and codifying it. Meanwhile, its become pervasive and prevalent enough, that novice submissives are accepting this as a norm.

NO! Restricting access to others communicating with you is dangerous! This is not the practice at all in real world D/s socializing where submissives frequently interact with many other Dom and Dommes in their community and hear rumors, stories, and opinions about anyone they play with and are considering submitting to.

But now "UNDER CONSIDERATION" has become a practice being used by stalkers, abusers, etc. to monitor a girl's mail and sometimes to keep others from relaying caution stories about the person a sub is about to submit too. There is inherent danger to this practice and if a Dom demands this - RUN!

But even to a lesser degree, accepting restrictions from talking to others right off the bat, particularly if you are an inexperienced sub, is very bad news as it limits your ability to hear warnings about unsafe play from other Doms or Dommes and use other people as sounding boards.

That said, its fine to tell Doms to "respect that you're considering someone and don't contact you," or once you've reached a place of trust, have your Dom place certain speech restrictions upon you - but UNDER CONSIDERATION as it has now come to be understood on this site should not be condoned and I urge all subs to set a hard limit against restrictions on communicating with others - particularly in the first three months until you can be more sure someone is a safe and sane D/s player.

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ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I think the vitriol was more in reaction to banning something between consenting adults and not necessarily because he doesn't like the use of "under consideration".  Once you start banning behavior between consenting adults because some people think it is stupid, then where does the line get drawn?

Knight's Kyra 

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Kyra,

Yours is a reasoned response and frankly I missed the part about banning it.  However, I don't think it justified the vitriol and as your post showed, it can clearly be responded to in polite ways.

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ORIGINAL: MasterGremlin
I don't give a flying f#$% what anyone else condones.  What happens between U/us is determined by U/us not you or any other individual or group or "community".