Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Should I give a heads up on inexperience with giving head?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Should I give a heads up on inexperience with giving head? Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Should I give a heads up on inexperience with giving head? - 8/18/2007 6:40:13 PM   
goodgirlC


Posts: 28
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		     Hi - I've been flirting back and forth with someone that I'm going to see in person soon, and I might've given them the impression that I'm more experienced with giving head than I am. I haven't done it a lot - I like it a lot, but haven't had a whole lot of experience. Should I : a. Write an email telling him that I might've given him the wrong impression b. Wait and talk to him in person about it, or c. Not say anything and see how it goes.
    I just don't want him to think I'm bad at it, when maybe I just don't have enough experience yet. I don't know for sure that I'm not any good, but I haven't umm... practiced in a while. Thanks. :)

C
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 6:43:38 PM   
abusablepaintoy


Posts: 29
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		A hint - he's going to find out when you meet, why not let him know up front.  If he's not willing to work with you on that, he's not worth seeing.  And who knows - maybe your technique is exactly what he wants/needs for maximum pleasure.  If not, he can have a fun time giving you instructions on how best to please him, and that way it's fun for both of you.  (Well, more fun than it already is.)

(in reply to goodgirlC)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 6:43:50 PM   
Exquemelin


Posts: 113
Joined: 2/2/2007
From: CT
Status: offline 		Well if he thinks you are expierence probably not a bad idea to let him know you're not. I'd say don't write a specefic email saying, "Hey, sorry about this but I haven't gone down to much" but you might want to mention it during a converstion. If you're in neogoiations or some such. Maybe just when you're talking, it comes up, and you say something like, "Even though I havent' been able to do it much, I love giving head." 

(in reply to goodgirlC)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 6:50:24 PM   
goodgirlC


Posts: 28
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		 Thanks Exquemelin -  That's good - I'll say something like that, just slip it in the conversation somewhere. I mean, it's not like the whole weekend is going to revolve around giving head or anything, I just know it's probably going to happen. And I might suck at it, in a bad way.

(in reply to Exquemelin)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 7:45:21 PM   
goodgirlC


Posts: 28
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		   Does anybody else have any advice? I hate to make it a big deal, but I really want him to know. And the weekend is supposed to be fun, I don't want to have a serious discussion about it.

(in reply to goodgirlC)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 7:46:41 PM   
vegas0623


Posts: 29
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		I think you should wait to discuss it with him when you meet. You've expressed to him that you like to give head. So you have doubts as to your abilities, most people do, there is NO best way to give head!

This may seem a little silly but you might consider reading up on it, I recommend "Tickle His Pickle" it is filled with techniques on oral and hand jobs. I loaned it to my daughter recently when she expressed similar doubts as to her abilities and she thought it was an interesting, easy and informative read. Then...if really worried maybe even practice some of the techniques from the book by sucking on a popsicle, it can't provide the feedback that a man can but it won't hurt! There are so many ways and variations to orally please a man. But the skin on the underside of his penis directly below the head or "glans" is the MOST sensitive, focus on this area and the head the most, have confidence and I doubt you will hear him complain. Good luck!

< Message edited by vegas0623 -- 8/18/2007 8:10:52 PM >

(in reply to goodgirlC)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 7:50:06 PM   
JackM1


Posts: 137
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline 		you may actually be more experienced than you know. it doesnt take giving head to 20 people to know how to do it well; a good idea would be to maybe look into male masturbation techniques online. sounds like an odd thing to do, but ive gotten compliments on techniques ive converted from hand movements to mouth movements ^_~

i think, if youre confident in yourself, and what youre doing, you cant go wrong. if you love sucking cock, then you'll do a good job sucking cock, but if youre nervous and uncomfortable it'll show in your..ehem..performance. giving a sort of disclaimer will make him and you more aware of any "mistakes" that you may make; but on the other hand, slipping it into the conversation without making a big deal out of it would be a good way to put it out there without making it a glaring mind sore.

(in reply to goodgirlC)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 8:42:07 PM   
goodgirlC


Posts: 28
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		        I looked up some tips on the internet, and I'm going to get that book - thank you vegas lady:) And I won't make a big deal out of it - I'll say something casual at the most - thanks Jack.
       

(in reply to JackM1)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 9:27:24 PM   
TNDomDiscipline


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/18/2007
Status: offline 		Blowjobs are like pizza, there is very rarely such a thing as a bad one to a guy.  If you are the type of girl that really enjoys it as you say you do, then your enthusiasm will likely cover up your lack of experience.  There are plenty of girls that know how to give great head, but since they do not enjoy it, their experience is covered by their lack of enthusiasm... I will trade experience for enthusiam any day of the week and probably marry a sub that has both...

Good luck and good head...

(in reply to goodgirlC)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 9:40:38 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlC
.....I might've given them the impression that I'm more experienced with giving head than I am. I haven't done it a lot - I like it a lot, but haven't had a whole lot of experience.


So you LIED to this person. By giving the 'impression' that you are 'more experienced' than you are is a LIE. No way around it. You have already started thing off with deciet, not a good way to being anything.

quote:


Should I :
a. Write an email telling him that I might've given him the wrong impression.


Call what you did a lie not 'the wrong impression.' Suck it up and call it a 'lie.' Thats what you did. You LIED.

quote:


b. Wait and talk to him in person about it, or


Thats one option. IF you meet under fault pretiences and this person rejects you for lieing and for carrying on xyz length of time, you may loose any credibilty. If he thinks that you are more experienced than you confess here that you are, and he EXPECTS that, then you have met him under false pretiences and you get caught in your lie.

quote:


c. Not say anything and see how it goes.


That seems to have worked {rolls eyes}. Just maintain the lie.
 



 
I may be harsh, but at least I am HONEST about it. No use in sugarcoating.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to goodgirlC)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 10:04:12 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The thing about adult fun- you have to be responsible and do what you need to do BEFORE you get into the fun part.

I know- what a drag is it, all the RESPONSIBILITY that comes with all the FUN.  Seriously, that whole open and honest communication thing?  Totally lame.  Forget about it, keep playing games and keeping it in fantasy land, trust me, it ALWAYS works out fine in the end, and everyone just has a great laugh!

Fuck responsible, mature, adult relationship forming skills- that gets in the way of your fantasy.  And isn't that what's really important?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 10:05:42 PM   
goodgirlC


Posts: 28
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		    Umm - I met this guy at a fetish event two years ago, and then I met him again in May and have been talking to him via email this summer. I just haven't played with him yet - He's not on this site, and this isn't the first time we've talked. I didn't tell him that I was good at head. I am assuming that he thinks I'm very experienced because I've been in the fetish scene a long time. Maybe I should have worded my post differently.

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 10:13:16 PM   
cwytch


Posts: 26
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline 		personally, although someone may be very experienced at blow jobs doesnt mean they will please one particular person...let him know that pleasing him is a personal issue and you would adore his advise and instruction so you can make it enjoyable for him...

_____________________________

But if you tame me, then we shall need each other.
To me, you will be unique in all the world.
To you, I will be unique in all the world...
You will become responsible forever for what you have tamed...

Antoine de Saint-Exupery



(in reply to goodgirlC)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 10:19:19 PM   
goodgirlC


Posts: 28
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		  That's a good point cwytch - and he knows a lot about me and my background, since we've had lots of responsible adult conversations that have nothing to do with sex or S&M, so I think I'm going to be fine. I just thought I'd see what the people on the message boards had to say.

(in reply to cwytch)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 11:12:06 PM   
goodgirlC


Posts: 28
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		   sexypet gave me some awesome tips and advice, so I feel like I'm going to do fine now - no need for some big discussion with him. It's so cool that she took the time to help me and let me ask questions :) Thank you to everybody for your replies, I think I'm ok now.

(in reply to goodgirlC)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 11:18:03 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		I was a dyke for years and I'm real upfront about that.  Means I have little experience with Cock.  But what I do know is that I am an avid learner, and a very, very enthusiastic beginner.   no guy has had an issue with that yet.   I am pretty up front about it, not as a stand alone conversation but in a conversation which is generally abt sex.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to goodgirlC)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/18/2007 11:23:15 PM   
sexypet


Posts: 225
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		you're welcome, goodgirlc, and good luck with your...um.....endeavors.  Ask anytime.

(in reply to goodgirlC)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/19/2007 12:55:24 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlC
.....I might've given them the impression that I'm more experienced with giving head than I am. I haven't done it a lot - I like it a lot, but haven't had a whole lot of experience.


So you LIED to this person. By giving the 'impression' that you are 'more experienced' than you are is a LIE. No way around it. You have already started thing off with deciet, not a good way to being anything.

quote:


Should I :
a. Write an email telling him that I might've given him the wrong impression.


Call what you did a lie not 'the wrong impression.' Suck it up and call it a 'lie.' Thats what you did. You LIED. 



Oh please.  Life isn't so drama filled.

To the OP...relax and enjoy.  Go with the flow.  You won't be the first to exaggerate experience and you won't be the last.  There is no right or wrong way to give a bj and every guy likes it differently.  Just be open to reading his body language and you'll do just fine. 

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/19/2007 1:11:43 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		Tell him you're keen, but not sure if your experience, expertise and technique is what he's expecting, and that you'll need to practice, practice, practice.  I doubt he'll complain.

Seriously, let him know that you're naturally a little nervous, and not sure what experience level he's expecting, and that you've got some concerns about it.  But that you're keen to play, and hope he accepts that.

If you're not sure what assumptions he's made about it all, it might be a good idea to get a few things sorted out before you meet and play.  Set a few levels, or limits, or whatever.  Make sure you're both on the same page.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Should I give a heads up on inexperience with givin... - 8/19/2007 1:18:39 AM   
habibi


Posts: 59
Joined: 10/15/2005
Status: offline 		i found early on that it isn't so much about talent as enthusiasm.....it goes a long way.  i think the funnest compliment i ever got was while giving head on my maybe 3rd person.   "are you sure you're only 19??" it was too funny....but i realized something later.  one man's pleasure is not another mans.  a few basic rules to learn about teeth, pressure, suction and about spit/swallow etiquette and you're golden.  every man is different....why don't you ASK him what he likes? or watch him masturbate...i've gotten more insight into how a man likes it through that than anything.  and if you feel you *pun* suck at it...tell him you'd LOVE to learn on him!!

_____________________________

If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
~Catherine Aird~

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Should I give a heads up on inexperience with giving head? Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094