Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid



Message

Bobkgin -> Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 4:56:53 AM)

She was the sweetest woman as long as she was being complimented.

But when you noticed her interest in you flagging, and you felt it was time to move on, you send a polite note thanking her for her time, explaining the situation, and wishing her well.

Boom, a journal entry appears insulting you for assuming she was no longer interested in you.

But through mail she is telling you she is interested and wants to continue conversing.

You look at the letter and you look at the journal entry and you think "Naah". Just too much pettiness, ego and drama in that journal entry to make it worth your while.

Being a forthright kind of person, you inform her of your decision, explain the insulting nature of the journal entry, and place her in block.

She writes back, allegedly from a friend's account who thinks there is nothing wrong in circumventing a block so as to harass and stalk someone. The letter you get is filled with insults, the topper of which is "you're unstable, you need help".

This from someone who cannot respect a block and has to harass and stalk you from a different account to get to you?

(o.O)

And she has friends who see nothing wrong with that.

(O.o)

Thus ended my brush with the "Fatal Attraction" woman (I hope).

It is remarkable how sweetness and light can so easily and completely turn into vengeance and vindictiveness.

Had I not failed to play my part in her grandiose scheme, I'd have never learned this truth about her.

Does make me wonder what lurks behind the thin veneer of the public persona. How many of those I talk with would slash my tires were I not to play the role they've assigned to me in their plans for happiness?

Oh yes, while I might expect to see such behaviour in the ranks of the wannabe 'doms', this was behaviour coming from someone listed as "slave".

Go figure.

Just some random thoughts to share with those who might benefit from it.

Do with them what you will.

edit: typo



CandyLover -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 5:13:22 AM)

I'd expect that kind of behavior from slaves, subs, and doms alike; they're all people.  Besides, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".  Sadly, some of us are born to walk alone, with as little to do with community as possible. 

You might be one of them.



UR2Badored -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 5:13:55 AM)

I doubt seriously that this alledged "Fatal Attraction" woman as you've described will be content with a public humiliation in this forum.  Except of course, if she likes that sort of thing which you would know better than I.  Okay, I may be having  a blonde moment but I'll bite what's "FLAGGING"?

When a relationship ends (I use the term broadly here)........alot of people blame the other person and do not look within themselves--very sad. It is my experience that it usually takes two to make or break relationships (this may include any agreement or argument perhaps). There are several current threads covering the same thing.  There may be some insight you can gather from those posts.

Well as a matter of pride.....it seems if someone made it clear (subjective) and blocked a person, moving on is the right thing to do but so many might see moving on in this stance as well.  Did you have your say and block her.  Some people cannot handle that.......others let it go and chalk it up to a learning experience.

Another question:  Are you sure her journal was directed towards you?

Good luck and Peace to the OP



ChainedExistence -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 5:17:26 AM)

I don't agree that everyone has the potential for vengeance and vindictiveness. I've known plenty of subs and slaves, (Doms, too)who have been treated poorly and have chosen to take the high road. More often than not, I think what happens is that we ignore the signs  that something isn't quite right in a potential partner, and and forge on ahead anyway. It could be our own neediness, or lack of ability to read the hints that are often there in front of us, or even an optimistic belief that everyone can be a potential match. In your case, perhaps you picked up on some subtle things in her words and actions that gave you a clue, and that's why you didn't pursue the relationship to begin with. Unfortunately, you had been involved enough that she saw you as more than a casual acquaintance and that's when her anger kicked in.  I don't ascribe to the view that there are legions of those waiting to slash my tires, nor have I ever even considered being the slasher. People handle rejection in many ways, and while there are those who look for vengeance, there are just as many, if not more who suffer in silence.



kittensmailbox -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 5:18:29 AM)

That has to be one of nicest letters i have seen in a very long time...  i mean as far as manners and politness...  i hope she leaves You alone Bobkgin....



KatyLied -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 5:51:50 AM)

I think flagging means waning, decreasing.  



UR2Badored -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 5:54:14 AM)

Oh.....my bad.......I thought it was some type of BDSM interests or special kind of "pony" tail.

Thanks Katy [;)]



KatyLied -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 5:56:51 AM)

Well, I don't consider anything a "Fatal Attraction" until a bunny has been boiled!     [8D]



UR2Badored -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 5:57:52 AM)

I love boiled bunnies, too.......hehe

gosh, I've missed you, Katy



UR2Badored -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 6:13:13 AM)

Bob,
I am curious to why you started this thread.  You have laid out a very articulate understanding of human nature in this previous thread you started.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1184197/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm



windchymes -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 6:16:12 AM)

Identifying themselves as "slave" or "Dom" or anything else doesn't guarantee any certain behavior.  This is the internet, and there are 19 year olds claiming to be 30, 40 year olds claiming to be 20, men identifying themselves as 19 yr old female bisexual slavetoys and god knows what else.  Never expect or assume anything based on what someone typed in a profile.  Good luck in the future! 



Bobkgin -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 6:20:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

what's "FLAGGING"?

Another question:  Are you sure her journal was directed towards you?


"Flagging" is synonymous with diminishing, decreasing.

And yes, I am sure.

edit: typo (must learn to type one day ;-) 



UR2Badored -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 6:26:54 AM)

"Flagging"  yes, Katy was kind enough to redirect me (I was picturing something a bit more obscene).......I dont know what I was thinking[8|]
sorry for my mental lapse



Bobkgin -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 6:31:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

"Flagging"  yes, Katy was kind enough to redirect me (I was picturing something a bit more obscene).......I dont know what I was thinking[8|]
sorry for my mental lapse


I seem to recall that some members in the gay community used to use different coloured 'flags' to indicate their sexual interests. I don't know if that is still done today, but perhaps you were thinking of that.



Aileen68 -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 6:32:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

Just too much pettiness, ego and drama in that journal entry to make it worth your while.



Just as there is too much pettiness, ego and drama in your thread.  What's the purpose of all of this again?



Bobkgin -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 6:38:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Well, I don't consider anything a "Fatal Attraction" until a bunny has been boiled!     [8D]


Some of us know that when we hear a train's horn we should stay clear of the tracks.

Others need a more immediate threat before noticing the train.

Personally, I'd rather flirt with someone thoughtful and attentive than fence with someone who cannot respect a block.

Just a better use of my time, as I see it.



lateralist1 -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 6:38:35 AM)

I am not sure how I would react if someone 'had their say' and then stopped me from having mine.
Just a thought.



Bobkgin -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 6:53:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

I am not sure how I would react if someone 'had their say' and then stopped me from having mine.
Just a thought.


And therein lays the trap that was set for me, as each person feels the need to "have their say" the situation escalates and spirals out of control.

Maturity and wisdom dictates that I just walk away from that. If she thinks she's won, who really cares? She is not in my life, nor will she be.

And who is to say whether I am responding to 'her say', or she is responding to mine? Where do you say "this is where it started"? Was it in her lack of interest? Me walking away? her posting the journal ? ...

Somewhere along the way someone has to be an adult and put an end to this.



UR2Badored -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 7:00:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

I am not sure how I would react if someone 'had their say' and then stopped me from having mine.
Just a thought.


And therein lays the trap that was set for me, as each person feels the need to "have their say" the situation escalates and spirals out of control.

Maturity and wisdom dictates that I just walk away from that. If she thinks she's won, who really cares? She is not in my life, nor will she be.

Somewhere along the way someone has to be an adult and put an end to this.

Something called compromise and conversation.......silly little things like that........I mean I dont believe in stretching it out.......but closure .......yes.....that may just have been the trick here.  You know the situation better than I.



caught4u -> RE: Avoiding that "Fatal Attraction" experience (o.O) (8/19/2007 7:14:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin


Somewhere along the way someone has to be an adult and put an end to this.


i was just wondering how starting a thread about this in the public forums is putting an end to it?



Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875