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I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/19/2007 9:08:18 PM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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I'm sitting here watching another one slip by.

It's like watching a school of fish, each one following in the path of the one before it.

It starts with such great enthusiasm. Promises are made, vows taken. Granted it is online, but it is the 21st century and relationships are more and more defined by the degree of connectivity we have with one another, electronically as well as in other ways.

Back in the days of my youth, such things would have occurred through ads in Now magazine and conversations over the phone.

It is so full of promise. Truth and honesty and sincerity and openness, all offered and all received.

And you count down the days for the first moment of truth: meeting face to face.

And the day arrives and there is no meeting.

"I forgot I had a doctor's appointment"

"Everytime I sign on my computer glitches for eight hours"

"Work changed my schedule at the last minute"

And these moments of truth keep slipping by, revealing a truth that does not conform with the promises offered and the promises received.

And maybe its okay to feel anger, and maybe its okay to feel frustration.

But what you really feel is sadness.

Sadness because you were cheering them on, hoping they'd succeed. You wanted them to achieve the goals they'd told you about and offered to share with you.

Was it real? Was it fake? Doesn't really matter. Do you cry any less over a good movie than you do when you are sad?

You become engaged. You become involved. You care.

You want to believe they're real, that they say what they mean and mean what they say. It matters to you.

It's a test of character: how much does their word mean to them, how much do they want your trust and faith.

But those moments of truth keep slipping past, and the promises go unfulfilled, and the explanations get longer, then they get shorter, then they stop altogether.

Perhaps they live lonely lives where this is the best they can get.

And they have to break my heart to get it.

(-.-) sigh (-.-)

I'm getting too old for heartache.

Post #: 1

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/19/2007 9:44:17 PM

SugarMyChurro

Posts: 1912
Joined: 4/26/2007
Status: offline

Intestinal fortitude. Get some.

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 2

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/19/2007 9:46:07 PM

FullfigRIMaam

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Joined: 6/21/2007
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Someone wiser on these boards would say your filter is off.
I no longer have to chat/email for weeks/months before lies are revealed.   At the very least, I require that he pay for a plane ticket/a drink/a dinner, and sit accross from me when he tells me whatever he wants me to believe about him.
I suggest you start considering inconsistencies/lies earlier than later.   I doubt that they are the model of integrity for weeks/months, and all of a sudden they forget to show up for a meeting.
Mostly, I'm sorry that people do this and disillusion you a little bit more each time.   M

_____________________________

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"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 3

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/19/2007 10:04:58 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Exactly- figure out what's wrong with your initial filter system that not only keeps attracting these types to you, but keeps you from seeing the signs early.

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(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)

Post #: 4

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/19/2007 10:05:15 PM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
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OP:

Ignore the insensi-types.

I've been there, amigo, and it sucks. It is a depressingly common event online, where people behave as if they have no reputation to protect...

Take heart in knowing you would have done your part to make a good experience possible, and in the knowledge that the poseur missed out.

Take a break, and then it's on to the next one!

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 5

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/19/2007 10:27:49 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
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Rather poetic.

I'm afraid I haven't seen much for those at the end of life, outside of those delusional enough to adopt some belief that they will persist in death.

Perhaps this is all life really was? Perhaps, seeing that, unlike in our childhood ambitions, we weren't great enough to take this world? Perhaps many others have suffered and endured what we have? Perhaps, too, there is companionship for us, with those who have come before, and those who will soon come close to death, to realize that we have all lived, gone through much of the same, only to come to similar ends?

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 6

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/19/2007 10:42:46 PM

charlotte12

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Joined: 5/9/2006
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I find that it is usually the people who claim to be very commited so quickly online before even meeting that are going to end up flaking out. They are committing to a fantasy, an idea of who you are and the fact that they want to do this tends to show a lack of understanding about real relationships.

_____________________________

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(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 7

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/19/2007 10:45:27 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Its amazing how old one can feel when another disappointment occurs. Yet we keep trying..why?...because we still hope next time we will feel young when the disappointment does not manifest itself....patience...the older you are the more practise you get at this concept.....

..Tempting

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You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 8

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/19/2007 10:59:39 PM

jdtallfem

Posts: 180
Joined: 10/8/2006
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I find that if too many promises are made and too many vows are taken than those are the most likely to NEVER show up. Best idea. Arrange to meet them close to where you live. Have them call you when they are fifteen minutes away. Don't even bother to get ready until then. Continue to be busy on other tasks until "the call from the truly sincere."
Then get ready and go meet.
Works every time and that way I'm never disappointed by the flakes.
I've had a great time meeting many online folks that way.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 9

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/20/2007 1:01:07 AM

meatcleaver

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Joined: 3/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
Granted it is online, but it is the 21st century and relationships are more and more defined by the degree of connectivity we have with one another, electronically as well as in other ways.

If you need to learn a lesson twice you have a problem. I had one online relationship which was rather stupid because I could have been having a real one. Anyway, I didn't take notice of the red flags going up like the conditions she required me to fullfill before we met which were set high. Once I fullfilled them she told me to badically fuck off. It made me realise I didn't know who the fuck the bitch was, that I was projecting my fantasies onto her and that she was a sexually frustrated cock tease who desperately wanted sex but was scared of it.

Having since listened to many other bloke's experiences I have come to the conclusion that most females on the net are cock teasers and are sexually frustrated and while they fantasize about wild perverted sex, they won't even carry through their sex talk into real life vanilla sex. In fact the chances of getting any woman to meet you are very very very small indeed, if there is a chance at all.

Just take it as a lesson learnt and ignore the cock teasers. Perhaps they will then go out into the real world and get them selves a life and get used to experiencing real sex.

_____________________________

There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 10

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/20/2007 2:38:41 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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I don't get this 'heartbroken' thing from online. Stop falling for people just like that, simple.

Are you too old for it? IMO yes. Life after 40 honestly shouldn't be sooo complicated and one shouldn't be so easily displaced by something so darn 'virtual'.

< Message edited by came4U -- 8/20/2007 2:49:05 AM >

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 11

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/20/2007 3:07:24 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I don't get this 'heartbroken' thing from online. Stop falling for people just like that, simple.

Are you too old for it? IMO yes. Life after 40 honestly shouldn't be sooo complicated and one shouldn't be so easily displaced by something so darn 'virtual'.

I'm not sure if you are replying to my post or the OP but if you are replying to me, life after 40 doesn't need to be complicated and isn't for me. My advice to any men who want an uncomplicated life, a woman belongs in your bed, not in your life.

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There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

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Post #: 12

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/20/2007 3:08:53 AM

came4U

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Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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no lol, sorry, it was for the OP.

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RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/20/2007 3:20:03 AM

wandersalone

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Joined: 11/21/2005
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I have to say that I would be hesitant to have contact with you for fear that I would end up as thread fodder….. having said that…

Yes it is the 21st century and yes a lot of people meet others initially online and there are a lot of people who have successful meetings and friendships with others so it may help to look at what is making your experiences different.

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Post #: 14

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/20/2007 3:22:18 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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lol wanders, that is soo true. I am sure the gal is around somewhere and might have peeked at these and realized wow...this guy would tell all about me, our issues and private life maybe.

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 15

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/20/2007 4:19:07 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I'm getting too old for heartache.

Arent we all!!!

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 16

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/20/2007 4:33:43 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMaam

Someone wiser on these boards would say your filter is off.
I no longer have to chat/email for weeks/months before lies are revealed.   At the very least, I require that he pay for a plane ticket/a drink/a dinner, and sit accross from me when he tells me whatever he wants me to believe about him.
I suggest you start considering inconsistencies/lies earlier than later.   I doubt that they are the model of integrity for weeks/months, and all of a sudden they forget to show up for a meeting.
Mostly, I'm sorry that people do this and disillusion you a little bit more each time.   M

Thank you, Maam.

I suppose if I was less soft-hearted and understanding, recognizing they didn't exactly expect to find me and may need a few days to get their affairs in order so that they may come to visit and meet face to face, I could shorten the period considerably.

But the first moment of truth has never been more than a week after the desire was expressed to be mine.

You've certainly hit the nail on the head: repeated disappointment -does- wear you down, disillusions you bit by bit.

Pirahna on their own are not that dangerous, but when one takes a bite, and another takes a bite, and another, and another ...

(O.O)

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)

Post #: 17

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/20/2007 4:44:40 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

I've been there, amigo, and it sucks. It is a depressingly common event online, where people behave as if they have no reputation to protect...

Take heart in knowing you would have done your part to make a good experience possible, and in the knowledge that the poseur missed out.

I do feel that.

It's just that they have such incredibly sad stories to tell: of the years they've searched, and the rejections they amassed, the insults they bore and the hopelessness they felt.

And then I arrive, and it is like I'm the one they've searched for all their lives.

It's like deflowering a virgin: I -want- to make the event special and memorable for her.

I suppose that's the tip-off: if they really felt that way, neither hell nor earth would keep them from getting to me as soon as possible.

Being a loner and outcast most of my life has taught me to have a soft-spot for others like me.

Makes me a sucker for those who use hard-luck stories to lure me in.

(-.-) sigh (-.-)

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 18

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/20/2007 4:55:05 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotte12

I find that it is usually the people who claim to be very commited so quickly online before even meeting that are going to end up flaking out. They are committing to a fantasy, an idea of who you are and the fact that they want to do this tends to show a lack of understanding about real relationships.

Given that in our society people can walk whenever they wish, for any reason, I don't think committments mean what they used to anymore.

Oh they do to me.

But our society is -very- forgiving when it comes to busting their word. There are so many other people who don't know of the person's lack of integrity: so many new clueless victims to chose from.

There is no down-side to lying and cheating and deceiving. No disincentive.

And as more and more people learn this behaviour, we end up with a society of liars.

What happens when everyone does this sort of thing?

(in reply to charlotte12)

Post #: 19

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) - 8/20/2007 5:01:06 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Its amazing how old one can feel when another disappointment occurs. Yet we keep trying..why?...because we still hope next time we will feel young when the disappointment does not manifest itself....patience...the older you are the more practise you get at this concept.......Tempting

Sincere, honest sub/slaves who mean what they say and say what they mean are like priceless pearls, for which I'd give up all I had to own and cherish.

Got to open a lot of clams to find one.

What? "oysters" ?!?

groan

Bowing to Tempting's wisdom: patience - yes, I've certainly got a good crop of that this year.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 20

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