RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-)

RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (Full Version)

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LaTigresse -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 8:37:27 AM)
Yanno, one thing I see over and over and over on these forums is a poster begins fussing about something or other regarding communication with others. I have yet to figure out what they hope to achieve by their complaints but, that is another subject. Then, they begin to get feedback they don't like, they react, and get more feedback they don't like. It quickly becomes obvious to most of the intelligent observers what the core problem to their communication issues are. Yet, they are so blinded by their own view of themself and what they THINK they are portraying they just simply cannot take an objective look at themself and their own habits. It is quite sad because they could learn so much from it if they would stop being so defensive. But nooooo, they keep continuing the pattern......behaviour that fails, whine at outcome, get flack for whining, get mad at the flack, denounce all those that tried to help, stomp off in a huff because of COURSE those that gave opinions just don't know anything at all about the truth.....rinse and repeat.

came4U -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 8:38:40 AM)
is that like my stalker...who calls me to tell me he isn't gonna call me anymore??? cripes. now I am drama LOL

Aileen68 -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 8:39:43 AM)
How come I've had absolutely no problem meeting people from this site? I find it quite easy within a matter of minutes to spot the wankers and fakes. The ones I settled on all met me when we arranged to and were all what they portrayed themselves to be in conversations. I'm not anything special...I just have the ability not get carried away with the fantasy. That fantasy is what clouds minds and makes people overlook the obvious flags. Once you take that out of the picture, it becomes pretty obvious who is real and who isn't.

LaTigresse -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 8:42:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied You've not arrived until you've been blocked and had it annonced publicly. It's one of the higher forms passive-agressive behavior. I feel so special now. Is there some sort of present or award I get?

came4U -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 8:45:21 AM)
Aileen.. that was my point, if he is hooking up with women with issues that are insecure etc, then when those very insecure women don't meet him because of issues..he complains. simple: find women with less emotional troubles or don't complain in public forums when they don't show up.

Bobkgin -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 8:46:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 My friend the one lesson i have learned is you have to get the what ever attitude.. Alot of people are lost.. what they think they want they do not and what they do not want they do lol shrugs by this mean in family, friends, job people that have a great nature you can tell because everything in their life works for them.. You will have some subs that are scared. some that have massive mountains of emotional baggage. some that are new do not have a clue.. those evil out for them only ones. then the loving caring who have it on track.. you can tell by their environment they have a positive attitude towards things. these you want to treat as you would a plant add water give them sunlight and plant food. ( honesty comunication. devotion) it is an investment.. every dom or domme only knows what they can handle.. I wish you the best of luck on your journey... in the mean time have fun go out car shows do things that make you feel good for you. Thank you, my friend. I like fishing. We have great lakes here. Saturday I caught a pike and a small-mouth bass. My friend brought in two pikes. It was a good day :-) And I agree on most of what you wrote here. I was raised to reach out a helping hand to those in need. Sub/slaves with self-esteem issues are certainly in need of help, and saying "whatever" isn't something I choose to do. Thing is there are those who have been hurt so much they've developed a paranoia that blocks them from escaping the cycle they're in. And others have been so hurt, their low self-esteem convinces them that Fate will never grant them happiness. So they simply refuse to believe anything will last. I was taught to reach out by teaching me to put myself in their shoes, and ask myself what would I really want and need. Those people who are closer to the mainstream don't often appreciate what it is like being out on the fringe, where everyone needs everyone else to make things work. In the city you've got a hundred plumbers. Here, you might have three, and they are always busy. There, you don't like the plumber, you bawl him out and hire a new one. Here, he's the -plunber-, dude, you don't tick off the -plumber-. Not unless you want to hire a plumber a hundred miles away. Here we learn to get along, to be helpful, to care about each other. And those who obviously do not want to get along get ignored. Guess which ones end up moving into the city where their character flaws get lost in the anonymity of urban life? Same ones whose flaws show up here in the anonymity of internet life. I don't want to stop caring. If any good comes out of this, perhaps it will be a sub/slave with self-esteem problems who recognizes the cycle she's in and finds the wherewithall to climb out of it. She would be a priceless pearl in my eyes.

Aileen68 -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 8:51:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: came4U Aileen.. that was my point, if he is hooking up with women with issues that are insecure etc, then when those very insecure women don't meet him because of issues..he complains. simple: find women with less emotional troubles or don't complain in public forums when they don't show up. Well yeah...easy for us to see that. Seems as if it's not so easy for good ole Bob. He seems to still think that he can save all the poor low self esteem subbies out there, who are perfect strangers, by the way. Maybe they don't want his help? edited to add in his quote... quote: I was raised to reach out a helping hand to those in need. Sub/slaves with self-esteem issues are certainly in need of help, and saying "whatever" isn't something I choose to do.

farglebargle -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 8:54:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 How come I've had absolutely no problem meeting people from this site? I find it quite easy within a matter of minutes to spot the wankers and fakes. The ones I settled on all met me when we arranged to and were all what they portrayed themselves to be in conversations. I'm not anything special...I just have the ability not get carried away with the fantasy. That fantasy is what clouds minds and makes people overlook the obvious flags. Once you take that out of the picture, it becomes pretty obvious who is real and who isn't. 'cause you're Hawtsome!

came4U -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 8:56:45 AM)
gods, so plumbers now are hard to find..thus one should make due with the one plumber because he is all we got? pft,never. yes, city folk must have more sins and character flaws than country folk. show me the demographics on that. and care all you want bob about women with their problems. You don't get it do you? take all those problems, lose sleep, cry, then when they move on to someone who probably gives less of a damn, by all means, post another whiney post. All hail the low self esteem lovers. oo i think it is time for my crabby nap

Bobkgin -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 9:06:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 How come I've had absolutely no problem meeting people from this site? I find it quite easy within a matter of minutes to spot the wankers and fakes. The ones I settled on all met me when we arranged to and were all what they portrayed themselves to be in conversations. I'm not anything special...I just have the ability not get carried away with the fantasy. That fantasy is what clouds minds and makes people overlook the obvious flags. Once you take that out of the picture, it becomes pretty obvious who is real and who isn't. Do I really need to list all the things about us that are different? Shall we start with age and gender? How about population density (here the bears outnumber the people)? How about type of bdsm each of us is practising? I could go on. But these alone ought to suggest there will never be some universal constant that we should all have it as easy as you or there is something wrong with us. If I see someone in need, I feel compassion and offer to help in whatever way I can while remaining true to myself. Perhaps these are the people you would call "wankers and fakes". I know there used to be a huge segment of the bdsm crown on boards who were -determined- to care as little as possible for as few as possible, and were extremely hostile to any other point of view. I have always been determined to care as much as possible for as many people as possible. The Mastery I pursue is one of a Guardian-Guide. Compassion (and lots of it) is essential. Any wonder I do not fit into the bdsm community?

Aileen68 -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 9:06:20 AM)
It's just an illusion. I'm actually a low self-esteemed subbie looking for the white knight so that my hopes and dreams can be dashed over and over again and then I can run to the boards and start thread after thread of poor poor me, no one likes me , they're all fake kind of threads without ever realizing that I may be the biggest contributor to my drama than anyone else except it's so much easier to blame all the no clue people. Ohh....and you're officially blocked.

came4U -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 9:09:04 AM)
<blocks Aileen for talking about me like I wasn't even here LOLLLL

Bobkgin -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 9:27:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Yanno, one thing I see over and over and over on these forums is a poster begins fussing about something or other regarding communication with others. I have yet to figure out what they hope to achieve by their complaints but, that is another subject. Then, they begin to get feedback they don't like, they react, and get more feedback they don't like. It quickly becomes obvious to most of the intelligent observers what the core problem to their communication issues are. Yet, they are so blinded by their own view of themself and what they THINK they are portraying they just simply cannot take an objective look at themself and their own habits. It is quite sad because they could learn so much from it if they would stop being so defensive. But nooooo, they keep continuing the pattern......behaviour that fails, whine at outcome, get flack for whining, get mad at the flack, denounce all those that tried to help, stomp off in a huff because of COURSE those that gave opinions just don't know anything at all about the truth.....rinse and repeat. After 20 years I'd have thought people were smarter than to try the old "majority/mainstream -cannot- be wrong" paradigm. So I suppose the world was flat until the majority changed their minds and decided the world was round, huh? (o.O) Pity the poor guy who was the first tell to tell the Flat-Earthers that the world was round. There is an unfortunate need amongst many in the bdsm community who frequent the boards to top -everyone- new, no exceptions. And anyone who doesn't like it is punished until they either learn their place or leave. I've seen this cutesy little dynamic played out on every board I've been on for the past 20-odd years. quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Yanno, one thing I see over and over and over on these forums is a poster begins fussing about something or other regarding communication with others. I have yet to figure out what they hope to achieve by their complaints but, that is another subject. Then, they begin to get feedback they don't like, they react, and get more feedback they don't like. It quickly becomes obvious to most of the intelligent observers what the core problem to their communication issues are. Yet, they are so blinded by their own view of themself and what they THINK they are portraying they just simply cannot take an objective look at themself and their own habits. It is quite sad because they could learn so much from it if they would stop being so defensive. But nooooo, they keep continuing the pattern......behaviour that fails, whine at outcome, get flack for whining, get mad at the flack, denounce all those that tried to help, stomp off in a huff because of COURSE those that gave opinions just don't know anything at all about the truth.....rinse and repeat. Right back at you. (O.O)

LaTigresse -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 9:33:28 AM)
Whatever floats your boat dude. Your not going to get a rise out of me or upset me in anyway. Nor will anyone on here. It is a choice I made. I save the emotions and, give a damn, for people that are actually physically IN my life, not pixels on a computer screen. As for my personal relationship stuff, it stays OFF the boards. My life and I are not for public consumption. In addition, I refuse to whine about stuff I CAN CHANGE. The choices are mine and mine alone. You would be wise to consider that for yourself. However, based upon your words so far, I don't expect much.

Bobkgin -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 9:45:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Whatever floats your boat dude. Your not going to get a rise out of me or upset me in anyway. Nor will anyone on here. It is a choice I made. I save the emotions and, give a damn, for people that are actually physically IN my life, not pixels on a computer screen. As for my personal relationship stuff, it stays OFF the boards. My life and I are not for public consumption. In addition, I refuse to whine about stuff I CAN CHANGE. The choices are mine and mine alone. You would be wise to consider that for yourself. However, based upon your words so far, I don't expect much. Based on your words, Ma'am, I know exactly what to expect. The same boring repetition of cliches and ad hoc attacks I've seen so often before. Some of us are less discriminating when it comes to helping people in pain. Some of us are more inclusive when it comes to deciding who is and who is not "physically IN my life". Last I heard, it was called "compassion", and was a good thing back in the day (except amongst the maladusted whose difficulties precluded it). By all means, show us how your hard-hearted approach is superior to my soft-hearted approach. Show us how much better it is to care less. You can never recruit enough people to that way of thinking. (o.O)

came4U -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 9:52:33 AM)
she wasn't here posting and complaining that people of low self-esteem and promblems, issues and drama don't show up to meet you. to watch you diagnose people of low self-esteem, issues and drama as troublesome. yet, you want to attract and help AND approach that very type. you do not understand??? it is like eating peanuts with a peanut allergy? only to complain about peanuts and then about your peanut allergy. AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa

KatyLied -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 10:04:14 AM)
quote: yet, you want to attract and help AND approach that very type. you do not understand??? He does not understand and I don't think any amount of explaining is going to make it clear.

OedipusRexIt -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 10:14:06 AM)
Hmmmmm. Why must these things always devolve into kindergarten pissing matches, wherein some Dommie tries to demonstrate that she can pee standing up farther than you...? The more time I'm here, the more I'm convinced that it's we Dominants who must be the truly insecure ones... "meow".

leatherette -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 10:17:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin Shall we start with age and gender? How about population density (here the bears outnumber the people)? How about type of bdsm each of us is practising? I could go on. But these alone ought to suggest there will never be some universal constant that we should all have it as easy as you or there is something wrong with us. I have always been determined to care as much as possible for as many people as possible. The Mastery I pursue is one of a Guardian-Guide. Compassion (and lots of it) is essential. Any wonder I do not fit into the bdsm community? Hello Bob, nice to meet you. May I say - you have made many good points. Others lent a few decent hints, harsh as they appear. You are right about the demographics. Age, sex, population density, and the degree of commitment sought DO make a difference. An about face - some of those who fit the above commonality may in fact also have a sunny, light hearted personality, good sense of humor, don't whine, and don't fold early. ITA - there is no universal constant. ( kudos for that neat phrase !) Your expression of caring is lovely. Please allow yourself to recieve as well as give. You sound like a very nice man. (That photo of the blue heeler peeking through the bushes is precious) ~smile~ Do you fit in? You are here. Why not be different? BTW - 50 women corresponded with you in 3 weeks? Sir - you are scoring high above the norm!

Bobkgin -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/20/2007 10:25:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: came4U she wasn't here posting and complaining that people of low self-esteem and promblems, issues and drama don't show up to meet you. to watch you diagnose people of low self-esteem, issues and drama as troublesome. yet, you want to attract and help AND approach that very type. you do not understand??? it is like eating peanuts with a peanut allergy? only to complain about peanuts and then about your peanut allergy. AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa Smile Not quite. I have a natural and well-developed affinity for those on the fringe, especially their difficulties. I am one of them. Very often they find me, not the other way around. Either way, when I realize they are sufferring, I offer what help I can. Most often (and thus far every time here) they are beyond my ability to help. I'm sad, because these are human beings with self-esteem problems whom I cannot help. I do not discriminate against them based on whether I will directly benefit or not. On another site and an entirely different topic I am helping people as far away as Australia and Ireland. Helping people is what I do. It's who I am. As a Master I am helping my sub/slave be all she dreamed of being, do all she dreamed of doing. I make it safe for her to be her true self. And by accepting her offer to serve I am protecting her from the clutches of the wannabes. It is because of the wannabes that she has self-esteem problems to the degree she does. Any extra-bdsm causes would only be aggravated by the wannabe behaviour. Guardian-Guide: to protect her and guide her into the realization of her full potential. Posting this thread late last night was the result of an accumulation of sorrow from several months of watching this happen over and over again only to be topped by the most recent, for whom I had such hope she would be one to climb out of the hole. So I posted this to "Ask a Master" where masters are invited to share their experiences and I certainly thought this must be one common to many. Only it was bumped here. (o.O) None of my topics were ever originally posted here. They were all bumped. (O.o) So instead of what I'd hoped would be a more serious discussion amongst those who'd have an understanding of the experience, I end up here in the loony bin talking to ... (O.O) Perhaps I'll save them the trouble and post everything here. Then they can bump things up if they want.

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