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susie -> RE: I'm getting too old for heartache (-.-) (8/21/2007 4:37:19 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
Gods I loathe bdsm 'communities' ...
quote:
ORIGINAL: susie
quote:
ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
I don't recall seeking advice on this matter.
I was sharing thoughts and feelings on a matter that was very much on my mind and heart.
Perhaps living outside the community for so long has generated a self-reliance and even keel which some people seem to find annoying.
Advice unsought has a shelf life of about 30 seconds. Perhaps these people ought to give more thought to why they feel a need to instruct a stranger who has not asked them for instruction.
(O.o)
Please, spare me the group-think and the amateur armchair shrinks with the psychic network hotline connections. Its a thinly-veiled disguise for an insecurity that requires others to validate their bloated sense of self-importance.
Some of us were born with brains of our own, and we use them. We don't need the voluntary wannabe nannies trying to tell us what we should think, what we should write, or what we should care about.
Not that this will be the end of it. These people are obsessed with non-con control of others.
Nature of the beast with any bdsm board, I'm afraid. BDSM appeals to control freaks.
You may not have asked for instruction but you posted your thoughts on an open forum where others are entitled to have their say.
No less so than I (duh)
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ORIGINAL: susie
If you do not like responses that do not agree with your point of view do not post where others may respond.
ditto (duh)
quote:
ORIGINAL: susie
You may not like what others have said to you here but often people see more from the outside than you like to see yourself.
ditto (duh)
Not to mention that those who tried the "Five-Minute Profile" on me were gunning for me from the word 'go', much to the confusion of everyone who does -not- believe in non-consensual verbal abuse.
I realize the compliments and polite responses I received really screws up the presentation of those who'd like to put me in my place and/or present me as some wild-eyed wannabe, but given the fact there were two sets of people responding yesterday: one with an obvious agenda and one without an agenda, I'll listen to those without the agenda (if I'm not to listen to myself - get much mileage trying to teach people to trust strangers and not to trust themselves? Bet that works great on people with low self-esteem, eh?)
quote:
ORIGINAL: susie
You may not like what I am about to say either, but, as this is an open forum I will say it anyway.
What I see is someone that has to constantly mention that his wife and child died. Well that is very sad but actually you are not the first person to have to go through that nor will you be the last. The need to post so often about that fact shows that you are far from over the issue.
What it demonstrates is that a number of people with an agenda have chosen to attack me because I will not submit to the group-think around here. The obvious response to charges of irresponsibility, etc, is to provide an example of how it just ain't so.
What I went through with my wife and child is sufficient evidence, in my opinion, that these people are either completely clueless or obviously operating from an agenda of smear and verbal assault.
No surprise here: this -is- a bdsm board and such control freaks are expected to run the board with such tactics (moderators notwithstanding).
quote:
ORIGINAL: susie
As soon as someone has posted a comment here that does not agree with your point of view you have played the control card. Posting that you have self control where others that do not agree with you are lacking control makes you appear insecure. If you are secure in yourself then there would be no need to attack those that do not agree with you.
I see.
And you attacking me would be ...?
However, these "attacks" as you characterize them are each a well-thought out explanation of the particular tactic being used in an effort to shut me up or chase me out.
Or do you think I'm the first and only target chosen by these people for attack?
Telling people not to trust themselves, but to trust strangers is a tactic used when trying to manipulate those with low self-esteem. One they are particularly susceptible to.
That it is being tried here, now, in public, by you, demonstrates a cavalier diregard for appearances, which I assume is the result of having used this particular tactic so often without reproof that the thought of it failing to work is obviously unthinkable.
Surprise.
quote:
ORIGINAL: susie
Many people on this site read the fora without contributing to them including possibly some of the submissives that you have decided to contact. In fact many make a point of viewing someones posts before continuing conversation with that person. Your comments about low self esteem issues would be a huge red flag to many submissives as would be your constant comments on your own level of self control. I actually see very little self control in the way you have responded to others both here and on other postings. If I see it, so do others.
As if someone being manipulated by group-think is of interest to me?
Careful, that hastily prepared profile of me isn't as accurate as you'd like to think.
This is yet another tactic to encourage insecurity: careful what you say or you won't get anything for Christmas.
As if the only people I'd want are the people who would agree with your point of view (or does the thought of people disagreeing with you seem so alien you cannot accept the fact they exist, and thus cannot make an allowance for their existence in your dire prediction?)
quote:
ORIGINAL: susie
Before you start to tell me I do not know what I am talking about
You don't.
You're merely another gun sent by the group-think to try and whittle me down.
Wasting your time.
I've seen this pattern on every board for over 20 years. It is the insecurity of the group-think and its inability to handle anyone who does not bend at the knee to it's collective 'wisdom'.
And with so many people suffering from insecurities and low self-esteem easily manipulated by the tactics used throughout this thread I can see why someone who is immune to the pressure and willing to identify these tactics as they are used and explain why they are being used is a cause for concern within the group-think. A concern that I might encourage others to see these tactics for what they are.
What happens when you can't scare people into submission anymore? What happens when you can't lean on their insecurities and low self-esteem to puff up your sense of self-importance?
What happens to one man who stands up to you?
We're already getting a taste of it in this thread, aren't we? Are you -sure- everyone will see the wisdom and light of your methods and those of the others who've tried before you?
You wouldn't be here trying to manipulate whatever insecurities you believe me to possess if you were.
Every time you folk post a derogatory post you are advertising your insecurities over people listening to what I have to say without your special 'spin' on it.
And I noticed more than a few who did not agree with that spin. Heard from more in email who have seen this sort of group-think behaviour before.
So which strangers should I trust: those who seek to manipulate me through whatever insecurities they hope I have, or those who do not?
quote:
ORIGINAL: susie
Perhaps you should spend a bit of time going back over this thread and reading it from an outsiders viewpoint.
Seems to me if I suffered from the insecurities you'd like to believe I have, I wouldn't be posting anything at all.
If I did, I'd bend knee to the first attack.
So I guess that means I must be both insecure and stupid, as I don't know enough to bend knee to the group-think 'wisdom'.
Unfortunately, there is nothing about what I write that screams "stupid", so what are you left with?
An intelligent and articulate individual who does not bend knee to those who seek to manipulate him through whatever insecurities they hope to (but cannot) find.
That you do this so obviously in a public forum simply demonstrates how arrogant you've become with the success of these tactics on those with low self-esteem.
But by all means, try. I need the examples so as to educate those whom you've been manipulating till now.
"Perhaps you should spend a bit of time going back over this thread and reading it from an outsiders viewpoint."
right back at you (O.O)
edit: typos
Thank you for proving my point so well. I have no need to make any further points about your obvious issues as you do that so well for yourself.
I have nothing to prove to you or anyone else here. I say what I feel and am not swayed by anybody else, you included. Like it or lump it, it is my choice to say that you come across as pompus, insecure and more of a wannabe Dom than many I have seen here. I was polite before, now I see there is no need to be when faced with someone with no thought for anyone but themselves.
Grow up
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