quote:

ORIGINAL: FullCircle

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
I'm getting too old for heartache.

Stop in the name of love before you break my heart, think it over first.

Thats my advice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

FR*
I didnt really see anything in the OP to warent this on slaught of sarcasm. The OP did wax a little poetic but thats hardly a crime. I guess i must have missed something...i'll have to go back and reread the OP, to see what it was in there that warranted 5 pages of this kind of back and forth.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

FR*
I didnt really see anything in the OP to warent this on slaught of sarcasm. The OP did wax a little poetic but thats hardly a crime. I guess i must have missed something...i'll have to go back and reread the OP, to see what it was in there that warranted 5 pages of this kind of back and forth.

breatheasone,

I made a comment in relation to somebody else's comment, breatheasone, and I was repeatedly attacked, insulted, and called names by the OP.  I generally find such behavior fairly grade school.  I found the emotional outrage behind the OPs first response to a comment I made to somebody else to be peurile and argumentative, and simply made a couple of smart-ass comments back.

I dont do arguments when I am not on the payroll.

So, to respond to your comments, I came to the conclusion a page or two ago that the OP has a tendency to allow his/her emotions to control what they type with their fingers, lack courtesy and respect for other people, is a legend in their own mind, and lack any sort of self control.  In summary, I believe the OP brings this sort of response on themself. 

As the post is about personal heartache, I am wondering if this sort of attitude on the OPs part is one of the reasons they are having difficulty finding somebody willing to be with them in a relationship.  I personally want to be the sort of person that somebody else would want to be with, rather than demand they make all the accomodations to all of my emotional detritus.

As usual, this is just me and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

Let's see, you attacked me on privacy issues, refused to support your pov, and have moved on to ad hominem.

quote:

Sub/slaves who encourage us domly types to want them, but fail to deliver on any of their promises.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

"Yanno", I've been here three weeks, spoken with upwards of fifty people, have nothing to show for the effort thus far, and I post -one- topic about the heartache of watching people drift away, and it is characterized thus:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Yanno, some days we just cannot have enough cheese and crackers around this joint.

...

One thing is for certain, sitting on your ass, staring at a computer, all while hoping for a miracle and bitching and whining when you don't get it, sure as hell isn't going to get you anywhere AT ALL.

(o.O)

Do you people actually live in the real world, or is this it?

Are you so used to dealing with psycho personalities on the internet you've lost your ability to relate to real people in the real world, who sometimes express pain and sorrow but do not dwell on it?

I've lost a wife and a son in the past year. Is your connection with reality -really- so out of whack that you think the cutesy barbs have -any- impact at all?

This has always been a problem with bdsm boards: the drama queens take over and civil, mature discussion ceases to exist (unless it is between said drama queens, as they consider themselves de facto owners of the boards).

How boringly tiresome.

Twenty years and they still can't learn new tricks.

Time to bring out the block and use liberally.

Highlights are mine.  Maybe you should consider seeing a grief counselor instead of dating on the Internet if you drained and hurt by it. It seems very soon.  Sorry for your loss.  I think as a woman, though, I would be hesitant to get into that kind of relationship so quickly with a man who just dealt with that. 
Akasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
But I am curious. A man whose been in a domestic relationship for over ten years, had an autistic son and was raising him, stood by his wife while cancer ate her alive and fought it as tenaciously as she did, a man who stood by his mother-less child for the few short months he was alive...

Just what danger do you believe such an individual poses to you, that you need to avoid him?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

But I am curious. A man whose been in a domestic relationship for over ten years, had an autistic son and was raising him, stood by his wife while cancer ate her alive and fought it as tenaciously as she did, a man who stood by his mother-less child for the few short months he was alive...

Just what danger do you believe such an individual poses to you, that you need to avoid him?

quote:

ORIGINAL: philosophy

FR

...you're never too old for heartache, at least not until they have to feed you with a wooden spoon and have to remind you daily what your name is. It's one of things like breathing, it goes with being alive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: philosophy

FR

...you're never too old for heartache, at least not until they have to feed you with a wooden spoon and have to remind you daily what your name is. It's one of things like breathing, it goes with being alive.

Very true.

I believe one should not pursue Love unless one is willing to risk heartache.

Love doesn't come with guarantees. It only offers us joy in the moment, and the hope there will be many moments of joy to come.

It's up to us to make that happen.

But we should also know those moments do come to an end, with a finality that no one can change.

That is where the heartache awaits us.

(-.-)

quote:

ORIGINAL: philosophy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
But I am curious. A man whose been in a domestic relationship for over ten years, had an autistic son and was raising him, stood by his wife while cancer ate her alive and fought it as tenaciously as she did, a man who stood by his mother-less child for the few short months he was alive...

Just what danger do you believe such an individual poses to you, that you need to avoid him?

...people in such a position tend to be somewhat unstable, at least in a transitory way. Avoiding initiating a ltr with such a person is merely sensibly playing the odds and comes from a place of respect.....for both people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin


I would think that a sign of respect would not include some kind of arbitrary time out based purely on one's whimsy and not on any knowledge of the individual in question.

An even greater sign of respect would be acknowledging that the individual in question is the best and final authority on when he or she is ready to re-enter the world..........

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

But I am curious. A man whose been in a domestic relationship for over ten years, had an autistic son and was raising him, stood by his wife while cancer ate her alive and fought it as tenaciously as she did, a man who stood by his mother-less child for the few short months he was alive...

Just what danger do you believe such an individual poses to you, that you need to avoid him?

She didn't say there was any danger or that she would avoid you, she said the following:

"I think as a woman, though, I would be hesitant to get into that kind of relationship so quickly with a man who just dealt with that."

You should honestly consider the advice she gave you just before that statement.

~stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: philosophy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: philosophy

FR

...you're never too old for heartache, at least not until they have to feed you with a wooden spoon and have to remind you daily what your name is. It's one of things like breathing, it goes with being alive.

Very true.

I believe one should not pursue Love unless one is willing to risk heartache.

Love doesn't come with guarantees. It only offers us joy in the moment, and the hope there will be many moments of joy to come.

It's up to us to make that happen.

But we should also know those moments do come to an end, with a finality that no one can change.

That is where the heartache awaits us.

(-.-)

....then, by saying you're too old for heartache you're also saying you're too old for joy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: philosophy
i'm reminded of the old saying, 'i may not like growing old but it's better than the alternative'. We all have times when we wish the world to be other than it is......however it is a sign of maturity to accept the things we can not change......and more than this, not just to accept but celebrate it. Celebrate the heartache, because it is a sign of possible joy...or at least having a pulse

quote:

ORIGINAL: philosophy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin


I would think that a sign of respect would not include some kind of arbitrary time out based purely on one's whimsy and not on any knowledge of the individual in question.

An even greater sign of respect would be acknowledging that the individual in question is the best and final authority on when he or she is ready to re-enter the world..........

...i'm afraid you have misunderstood what i was trying to say. It's not an arbitrary time out based on whimsy, but a hard headed perception based on prior experience.

quote:

ORIGINAL: philosophy

Obviously each individual grieves in their own way, but when considering embarking on a LTR with such a person caution is highly recommended. Grief creeps up on you for quite a while. Best to be sure and have patience.
Grief can horribly distort many perceptions.......to the point where i'd argue that grieving people are not the final authority you claim. Their actions speak far more eloquently than their self-perceptions.