RE: Helping one's Master be a better person

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RE: Helping one's Master be a better person - 8/31/2007 4:00:39 AM

goalie62

Posts: 114
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
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I am so tempted to print this thread, I learned a lot from all of you.

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Post #: 41

RE: Helping one's Master be a better person - 9/1/2007 3:48:52 AM

midnite

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Joined: 6/28/2005
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I would hope that once I find her my submissive/slave would help me to be a better person, there are a lot of areas in my life that I could improve. I would hate to find out that she is trying to get me to change something in my life just because it bugged her or rubbed her the wrong way.

(in reply to slaveish)

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RE: Helping one's Master be a better person - 9/1/2007 7:53:14 AM

CreativeDominant

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Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDraco7

quote:

ORIGINAL: devotedsylph
A big part of my relationship is that my Master guides me into being a better person and a better girl. What about the reverse? What are the ways that a girl can help her Master be a better man and Master?
Is that something a girl should even attempt to do - would that be like trying to top from the bottom or take control of things?
I'm not very good at expressing myself, so I hope my meaning and intention comes across from the appropriate place. I don't want to change my Master, but if I can help him be better, then I would love to do so.

Yes. You can help him become a better man and Master.
The biggest and first question is does he want you to help? If he doesn't, nothing that you can do will change anything and any efforts might annoy him.
If he wants or wouldn't mind help then you can very much help him.

Giving second opinions..
being open and honest. Communicate.
Giving your thoughts and sugguestions.

It's not topping from the bottom if you don't try to force things, if you don't really go against his will and let him decide for himself.

For instance, if he sits you down and the two of you discuess the scene you had the night before. Be open and honest. say what you liked and what you didn't like. Perhaps make sugguestions that you think might improve things or make them easier, maybe more enjoyable for him. And then let him make the decisions of what to change or do better, what to try and do next time and what he wants to remain the same. You're not topping him, just being open and giving your thoughts. At the same time you're helping him become a better Master because you are being open and honest about everything, so he can learn and know what he needs to improve upon.(sometimes if you or someone doesn't say he won't know any better)
As for vanilla... Same thing. Just be open and honest. Does something about him irk or bug you? address and talk about it with him. If he's willing to change maybe he will. If not you'll have to accept it. Just be there to give aid and support should he need it.(quitting smoking is a good example for this as many people need support for this or they would not be able to do so) It's a way you can help him become better but still be submissive and without any topping from the bottom.

And yes. there can be a fine line between topping from the bottom and giving ideas and sugguestions.. Just don't be demanding when you do so. Accept the fact that he may not accept or do any of your ideas, and do not be upset or disappointed by it. In that way you won't be topping. You'll be giving support and helping to be better but at the same time letting him choose his path for himself, You're just there to do what you can should he ever need you.

Just my meandering thoughts. :)

I boldened the portion above because this is where I can see things leading to trouble.

I agree with what has been said on here; there is no reason a submissive cannot help a dominant be a better person. But, as noted, there is that fine line between suggesting and telling, between taking care of him and mothering him, etc.. Most dominants will not respond well to being told that they "have" or "should" do something in order to become a better person. Like it or not, it is not the nature of the relationship for the submissive to be able to "guide/lead" the dominant to a better state of being in the same way that he/she "guide/leads" her. Getting upset over this fact when he/she does not take your suggestions or takes them and does them his own way instead of "your best way" is coming very close to taking on the "top" role or dominant role. He gets to choose the path, you made your choice of path when you chose to submit to his way from the outset.

(in reply to SirDraco7)

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RE: Helping one's Master be a better person - 9/1/2007 8:23:04 AM

RRafe

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Joined: 8/29/2007
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We should be better for ourselves-not for others. Gives you a firmer foundation to build from-you'll always have you..

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RE: Helping one's Master be a better person - 9/2/2007 8:55:34 AM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: devotedsylph

What about the reverse? What are the ways that a girl can help her Master be a better man and Master? Is that something a girl should even attempt to do - would that be like trying to top from the bottom or take control of things?

No, it would just be a well-intentioned but misguided error, in all likelyhood. Ask him about whether he has anything he wants you to help him with. If he does, do so. If he does not, just be there for him, as you are, and let him do the rest. Trying to do it in any other way will just end up with second-guessing and too many cooks in the kitchen. It can be hell. For both of you. So just let him tell you what he wants from you, and prod him with any suggestions or ideas you might have at an appropriate time, if that is appropriate to your dynamic.

For me, just having her there makes me a better person and serves to help me improve.

But when I need her to help wake me up because of sleep problems, I tell her when, how and why to do that. If she were to take it upon herself to dump a bucket of ice water on me when I'm taking a planned and well-deserved rest because I need to work through the night or somesuch, I would ... well, regress, to put it mildly ...

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to devotedsylph)

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Post #: 45