RE: Competition in the 'community'

RE: Competition in the 'community' (Full Version)

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Bobkgin -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:18:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance Competition in most any environment tends to inspire excellence. Thank you, Winsome. I found myself focusing on the quote above. I started wondering if we were able to bring Rembrandt, Da Vinci, Van Gogh, and Dali together in a competition, would any of them have painted something more masterful than what we remember them for? The problem with competition between people, is that some (if not all) cheat to win. Whereas I cannot cheat when I present myself as I am right now. I am what I am, a work in progress. Were I not who I am, I'd express myself differently, have different points of view, present myself as something other than what I am now. And I would appeal to a different group of people. I do not "win" anyone's heart. I and those I've loved were drawn to each other because we spoke the same language, understood each other from almost the beginning (if not the first word shared). It is more a matter of recognizing in each other the person of our dreams, the one who walked with us when we slept. I do not see how competition plays a part in that. On edit: a few more musings: If it takes competition to bring out excellence, what happens when the compeititon ends? An end to excellence? Why not be excellent all the time, because that's what you want to be, not to impress someone whom you want in your life and for whom you must appear excellent to beat out the other suitors? If excellence is my personal goal, then I am my own competition, and my own worst critic (for who better knows my foibles than I). Why should I seek to humble others, so I can feel I'm better? How does it make me a better person to compete with those who are not better than me? And yet, if I am seeking to impress someone by appearing better than others, who better would I choose to compete with than those who are not better than me? I prefer to be who I am, knowing that I am on a path to be better than I am. As are we all, whether we realize it or not. Thus I need not compete with anyone. I need only learn to be more than I am. And I've been doing that all of my life.

LaTigresse -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:24:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: Can we have a moment of silence for being graced with such a virtous and honorable man? Only if it includes a head shake and shrug with it. Followed by snort laughter.....

came4U -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:29:45 AM)
ok, I think I get the game now. start a thread knowing will full intent that it would come back negative with a few so you can insult ever so passively. gottcha. quote: I write not to compete, but to beckon those few who are well-suited for me, and to wave off all the rest for whom I am not their ideal choice. aka, if you don't agree with me, I block you, male or female. This is a forum for discussion, not BOB's personal blog. If you can't stand the comments, how is it competition if you prefer to put others on the bench because they hit a harder fastball? Only way to get away with that, buy the team! I didn't even realizing that posting in general was even an arena for 'trying to impress or collect' a potential someone??? holy, I should be writing all kinda sexay ass fine stuff then. I prefer not to write to attract someone, good or bad, if I wanted to, I would go back to the other side and not open my big trap here lol. I, as others, do the 'best I can' with what life-experience I have, otherwise, I stay out of the convo totally. Make up your mind are you here to give advice quote: I write because my words may benefit another, add to their knowledge base or answer a conundrum they've been worrying. , become a famous CM writer, quote: I enjoy capturing the essence of my thoughts and translating it into words, perhaps construct a memorable statement. , or to attract a gal quote: I write not to compete, but to beckon those few who are well-suited for me, and to wave off all the rest for whom I am not their ideal choice. So, who exactly do you propose others are competing with? Are you now admitting you have an agenda and now put forth yours in black and white? Yet, you have accused others of the same? me scared. (edited cuz my typing is so bad today, I look like a tard lol).

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:31:35 AM)
Bobkgin, I would respectfully advise you to redirect your musings to your journal. This way, you can expound upon the beauty of your soul and present the image you wish to convey to those browsing the personals. I think it would be a more productive endeavor for you.

Perplex -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:32:18 AM)
ya'll tease Bob...and I won't defend any history I haven't seen, so I don't care about the old memo's you've stored on disc to prove your point, but he's never been anything but a gentleman and a honorable man with me and at least with this thread he was trying to jump start a conversation away from the reoccuring topics even I've seen repeat in my short time here... and yeah I ain't been here long enough for it to matter about me standing up on my hindlegs and saying this, but as I've said he's been decent to me, and in my book that's enough for him to get the second hit off my match.

Grlwithboy -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:37:31 AM)
You know if you snip away a reason to be bitchy, there's a good question in here about competitiveness in the "scene." Michael, you've even posted about reticence to do rope work in public amidst people you consider expert at it. There's a topic in here somewhere. I definitely have moments of recognizing certain skills as superior to mine. I try to be inspired by those people, and I try not to get so caught up in "improvement" in my ties that I lose my bottom. It's really easy to get so into out-doing your last tie that you aren't paying enough attention to what really matters.

RCdc -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:39:11 AM)
My question would be, do you believe respect is earned? If you do - then you understand competition in the positive. Peace the.dark.

came4U -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:41:11 AM)
that is fine Perplex, this isn't a 'i love bob' festival parade. He wrote, he was OP, he should defend his own 'whatever the hell his point is'. I am sure Bob will thank you for that, he is a polite ass and would love adoring fans. But, if in other discussions if two or more people disagree he calls them 'bullies' aka a collective phantom team out to get him. I am not sure I am in that list, I don't even know these people well, but I am sure I am lumped into his ideal-factor of bully mentality (because I do not agree with 90% of his nonsense and pity tactics) and repetative versions of his life story dabbled into threads. boy im bitchy today. somebody slap meee. ps. girl I agree, but these threads are not so much about 'tactical experience' (ropes, bindings etc) in bdsm as they are personal. pps. Why isn't this thread in 'ask a master? because submissives might not go there? too many men/Doms there?? It is a question for Masters, no?

mistoferin -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:44:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark My question would be, do you believe respect is earned? If you do - then you understand competition in the positive. Peace the.dark. I can field that one for you dark. Bob doesn't believe that respect is earned....he believes he is entitled to it....at least from us "s" types. Of course, if you try to point out to him that he is confusing "respect" with "common courtesy", "politeness" and "good manners"....he will make some insulting remark about how "disrespectful" you are and then block you. Learned that one from experience.[;)]

Dnomyar -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:48:00 AM)
Let me get this right. Respect is earned by competing. You can compete and be a total jerk about it. Bitch slaps came4U. Does that make you feel better.

came4U -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:51:01 AM)
omg that felt good , I luvs you now, stalk stalk lol. Respect is earned by 'pretending' not to compete because your words are actually tooooo valuable for us of fewer brain cells. If someone is not competing, then why confront the very people you are somewhat passively accusing of...competing???

kyraofMists -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:52:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark My question would be, do you believe respect is earned? If you do - then you understand competition in the positive. Peace the.dark. I can field that one for you dark. Bob doesn't believe that respect is earned....he believes he is entitled to it....at least from us "s" types. Of course, if you try to point out to him that he is confusing "respect" with "common courtesy", "politeness" and "good manners"....he will make some insulting remark about how "disrespectful" you are and then block you. Learned that one from experience.[;)] Damn, you beat me to the punch. I should block you for that!!! [;)] Knight's Kyra

Dnomyar -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:56:19 AM)
Is stalking a form of competing?

velvetears -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 9:58:05 AM)
If you compete to win someone, what have you won? You haven't drawn someone to you by the essence of who you are. If you win someone over by competing and "winning" it is a teuous position because someone better is always lurking around the corner. Now that you have "won" in this fashion, do you have to forever protect your winnings from those better than you? The whole mindset is very unappealing to me. i would rather discover people on their own merit, not showmanship through competition. A man who competes is insecure of his own abilities, if her were secure why would he feel the need to compete? This is why i never understood the mindset of women "competeing to win back their man" mentality. Why? i don't want love granted to me because i "won" over some other female. Anyone who tried that tactic with me would simply see me wishing them well and the back of my head as i walked out of their life.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 10:00:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Is stalking a form of competing? Only if there's a line of stalkers vying for attention of the stalkee. I think you are probably going to have to take a number.

mnottertail -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 10:01:12 AM)
Well, pop by the house then, since I don't have to compete. Drawing someone to the essence of who you are out here is naught but farce. One way or another the stupid chicken dance must be choreographed. It has been the way of the world since time immemorial. Ron

came4U -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 10:02:52 AM)
quote: This is why i never understood the mindset of women "competeing to win back their man" mentality. Why? i don't want love granted to me because i "won" over some other female. No man is worth fighting for if you have to 'steal' him (back or in the first place). quote: Is stalking a form of competing? Sure it is, competing for the best seat in a nuthouse, front row double-sided mirrors with 10 shrinks behind it. Talk about attention grabbing lol.

mistoferin -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 10:02:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists Damn, you beat me to the punch. I should block you for that!!! [;)] [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 10:03:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: velvetears If you compete to win someone, what have you won? You haven't drawn someone to you by the essence of who you are. If you win someone over by competing and "winning" it is a teuous position because someone better is always lurking around the corner. Now that you have "won" in this fashion, do you have to forever protect your winnings from those better than you? The whole mindset is very unappealing to me. i would rather discover people on their own merit, not showmanship through competition. A man who competes is insecure of his own abilities, if her were secure why would he feel the need to compete? This is why i never understood the mindset of women "competeing to win back their man" mentality. Why? i don't want love granted to me because i "won" over some other female. Anyone who tried that tactic with me would simply see me wishing them well and the back of my head as i walked out of their life. Reminds me of lyrics to a song by B. Midler (sp?) "What do you do when your man comes home with the smell of another woman on him? Do you open your loving arms and your loving legs and say, Dive right in baby the water is fine? Or do you F* this Sh*t. Pack your bags."" Sorry, I digress. What was the OP topic again? Edited for spelling and typos.

RCdc -> RE: Competition in the 'community' (8/30/2007 10:07:44 AM)
quote: I've found that the limelight tends to find me. And if not, then I've not earned it. If you believe that you do or do not earn 'it' - then you are competing. Peace the.dark.

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