Gratuitous Hugging

Gratuitous Hugging (Full Version)

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LotusSong -> Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 10:33:24 AM)
In the club I belonged to, they embraced (no pun intended) the notion that people should hug in greeting other members but ASK the intended huggee's PERMISSION FIRST. I think this puts people in a very awkward position. I mean, there are some people you just don't want to hug! I'm not a hugger by nature anyhow and I really have to force myself to hug anyone. But add to that the response of having to come right out and tell a person who asks for a hug "no", doesn't that just cause more damage/humiliation than not to the refused party? One bear chested Dom asked for hug one time.. he was so sweated up he WREAKED. He was coming at me and I held up my hand (reflexibly) and yelled "I don't THINK so!" (I had to do it that was as he was the type that would have" insisted".) In summary I ask, what's with all the hugging these days???

breatheasone -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 10:38:55 AM)
I personally like hugs....from friends family or total strangers. i also know that there are people who do not feel this way, i dont understand that, but i know its true. i personally would not be offended if a complete stranger didnt want to hug me...i would "get" that they are just not comfortable with it.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 11:04:26 AM)
When someone approaches you with a hug and you do not want to hug them, the proper response is generally to quickly and firmly push your right hand out in front of you in the "shaking hands" position, smile and say "good to see you!" A lot of people in the scene WANT things to be familial, close, intimate. They want to feel like they belong and that we're all just so together and we have SO much in common because we're all kinky. This unfortunately leads to all sorts of break downs and messes in social interactions. But a good smile, quick response time and unwavering confidence can deal with all of them just fine.

pahunkboy -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 11:34:36 AM)
the human body is starved for touch. the skin is an organ. hugs can even effect our health. A bried blurt; "raincheck,..im under the weather right now". is a polite way of saying you dont want a hug. during the flu season people have started not shaing hands due to the spread of the germs. no one owes anyone sex ever. but i think the world would be a better place if we each got 7 hugs a day, [PLATONIC]

farglebargle -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 11:44:43 AM)
Damned Hippies... Always wanting to break down the artificial barriers erected by our self-consciousness....

popeye1250 -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 11:49:05 AM)
But what if Sen. Larry Craig wanted to hug you?

farglebargle -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 11:52:08 AM)
People are hired to prevent just such an event happening. Some people just shouldn't ever travel without a handler.

SeargentDave -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 11:52:25 AM)
I think it was sarted back in the eighties with Dr. Leo Buscalia. LOL. Actually my son (18yrs) hugs his freinds both male and female. Some of the macho guys at HS thought it was very homosexual, he says it is a sign of affection to both male and females and shrugs off any "gay" references. I agree with Albatross about how to handle things if you do not wish to be the recipient.

kayne -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 11:56:10 AM)
I'm actually not a very huggy person unless it's someone I really like (platonic or otherwise). Unfortunately, the 'cute' factor I apparently have seems to be a self given invitation for folk (even people I've never met before that moment) to hug me. Drives me crazy.

SugarMyChurro -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 12:05:49 PM)
Oh I dunno, it might just be the fact that you are a 19 year old male hugging a stuffed pink pig... [;)]

mnottertail -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 12:13:57 PM)
back when I was a yout, women would accost me on the street and try and grub their hands thru my hair, tight little curls I had then. That is one reason I am bald today. I used to be mortified, but now I miss it. Ron

kayne -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 12:15:18 PM)
I would sooner hug the pig than hug a stranger!

LivingInSin -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 12:46:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kayne I would sooner hug the pig than hug a stranger! ditto! i dont mind hugs from friends and family...most times. there are still times that it drive me batty when my poor babies keep hugging me. people i dont know coming up to hug me puts me on guard and kinda hostile......personal space folks. respect the bubble

popeye1250 -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 12:56:58 PM)
Kayne, please don't say you're Dominant![:D]

breatheasone -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 1:05:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: farglebargle Damned Hippies... Always wanting to break down the artificial barriers erected by our self-consciousness.... tackles fargle with a big hippie type hug Walks away whistling a happy tune

LotusSong -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 1:56:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross When someone approaches you with a hug and you do not want to hug them, the proper response is generally to quickly and firmly push your right hand out in front of you in the "shaking hands" position, smile and say "good to see you!" A lot of people in the scene WANT things to be familial, close, intimate. They want to feel like they belong and that we're all just so together and we have SO much in common because we're all kinky. This unfortunately leads to all sorts of break downs and messes in social interactions. But a good smile, quick response time and unwavering confidence can deal with all of them just fine. Actually, this how we greet each other in my family! REALLY!! (mid-westerners, you know) We actually wave at each other as we enter the room. Even after years apart!

spiral23 -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 2:21:23 PM)
HUGS NOT DRUGS.......[sm=lol.gif]

kayne -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 2:26:54 PM)
Haha, Popeye, no I'm not. I just absolutely hate being forcibly hugged by strangers. Unless there's a joke I'm missing....

kittinSol -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 2:32:49 PM)
When I was twenty something, doing the London club culture, I got hugged all the time. Men, women, cats and rats would come up to me and say: "Gawd, darlin', you're beautiful, let me give you a hug!". And it was fabulous. It was not sexual: the love was induced by MDMA, but it felt wonderful. At the time. God, I loved clubbing...

NorthernGent -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 3:10:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kittinSol When I was twenty something, doing the London club culture, I got hugged all the time. Men, women, cats and rats would come up to me and say: "Gawd, darlin', you're beautiful, let me give you a hug!". And it was fabulous. It was not sexual: the love was induced by MDMA, but it felt wonderful. At the time. God, I loved clubbing... How old are you? Are you my generation? 'Used to go to London clubs when club culture was alive and well: The Fridge in Brixton, The Cross in Kings Cross....sister lived in Greenwich...

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