RE: Gratuitous Hugging

RE: Gratuitous Hugging (Full Version)

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petdave -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 3:50:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kayne I'm actually not a very huggy person unless it's someone I really like (platonic or otherwise). Unfortunately, the 'cute' factor I apparently have seems to be a self given invitation for folk (even people I've never met before that moment) to hug me. Drives me crazy. Actually, the problem isn't the "cute", it's the fact that you don't WANT them to hug you. They can sense it, and it's like waving a red flag in front of a bull. i don't think i'd belong to an organization that promoted hugging as a greeting. i'm from Connecticut. i don't touch people unless i'm married to them. [8\|]

kayne -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 3:52:08 PM)
So.... they hug me because I don't want them to hug me? Those bastards.

ELUSIVE1 -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 3:52:51 PM)
I am a hugger...and I get amused at the awkward moment when I hug someone that obviously does not embrace that custom...get over it already--it is one nano-second in a lifetime...

Carrianna -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 3:56:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong In the club I belonged to, they embraced (no pun intended) the notion that people should hug in greeting other members but ASK the intended huggee's PERMISSION FIRST. I think this puts people in a very awkward position. I mean, there are some people you just don't want to hug! I'm not a hugger by nature anyhow and I really have to force myself to hug anyone. But add to that the response of having to come right out and tell a person who asks for a hug "no", doesn't that just cause more damage/humiliation than not to the refused party? One bear chested Dom asked for hug one time.. he was so sweated up he WREAKED. He was coming at me and I held up my hand (reflexibly) and yelled "I don't THINK so!" (I had to do it that was as he was the type that would have" insisted".) In summary I ask, what's with all the hugging these days??? I love hugging, snuggling what ever you want to call it, but I don’t think it should be forced onto anyone, or you should do it because it is accepted, to me that is a way of submissive bullying. But I am fussy who I hug...

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 3:59:25 PM)
I have a lot of friends like that. They know I like physical closeness and they assume that means with everyone. Just becasue I like a good snuggle with Angel or my close friends does not mean I want to hug up on everyone. But, so im informed, its a southern thing and i had best be getting used to it. DV

LotusSong -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 4:04:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire I have a lot of friends like that. They know I like physical closeness and they assume that means with everyone. Just becasue I like a good snuggle with Angel or my close friends does not mean I want to hug up on everyone. But, so im informed, its a southern thing and i had best be getting used to it. DV Ahh the south :) Now if they follow that hug up with a "bless your heart" and a pat on the head.. DECK 'EM!!!!!

FelinePersuasion -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 4:10:14 PM)
I am a huggy type person, I have next to no personal space bubble unless I do not like you, then stay the hell away from me lol. However I do ask before attempting to hug someone.

Sweet1Maybe4U -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 4:15:50 PM)
I think it is a Southern thing. When I lived in Ohio it was awkward to others but gee whiz...I LOVE hugs. It's kinda soothing to me. I even hug strangers sometimes. Now cuddling~that's a different story. I only cuddle with very close friends and family. I even got in trouble at work when I was first hired..*blinks....I was told I needed to learn boundaries.....[:(] and was written up for it but I just can't seem to help it and after eight years there NOW almost everyone hugs and some say "What? ya mad at me?" if I dont hug them....[:)] I suppose I do need to learn boundaries more but I grew up in that kind of environment. We always hug and say "I love You" when we hang up the phone or leave....what if that's the last time I see them?

LotusSong -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 4:18:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion I am a huggy type person, I have next to no personal space bubble unless I do not like you, then stay the hell away from me lol. However I do ask before attempting to hug someone. I guess I'm just one of those with a major bubble of personal space. I think I feel that a hug is too intimate to use as a greeting. I mean, I'll hug someone that I know is a known hugger out of courtesy, but just to get it over with and the quicker the better. So If you see me and I wave at you instead, it's a complement, because it's genuine and "me" :)

LotusSong -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 4:20:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sweet1Maybe4U I think it is a Southern thing. When I lived in Ohio it was awkward to others but gee whiz...I LOVE hugs. It's kinda soothing to me. I even hug strangers sometimes. Now cuddling~that's a different story. I only cuddle with very close friends and family. I even got in trouble at work when I was first hired..*blinks....I was told I needed to learn boundaries.....[:(] and was written up for it but I just can't seem to help it and after eight years there NOW almost everyone hugs and some say "What? ya mad at me?" if I dont hug them....[:)] I suppose I do need to learn boundaries more but I grew up in that kind of environment. We always hug and say "I love You" when we hang up the phone or leave....what if that's the last time I see them? <---- born and raised in NE Ohio... see what I mean? :)

Sweet1Maybe4U -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 4:25:40 PM)
*blinks......does that mean I cant hug ya?....huh

bamabbwsub -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 4:34:35 PM)
quote: So.... they hug me because I don't want them to hug me? Those bastards. kayne, this follows the same rule as cats that rub on the legs of people who dislike felines. :) quote: I think it is a Southern thing. I'm not sure I agree with that, Sweet1. I am a Southerner born and bred, but I am not a hugger. My family isn't very "touchy-feely," so that's probably where I get mine from. My best friend, who IS a very touchy-feely type person (and she's from the Midwest), told me once that I have a "50/50" look on my face when approached by strangers, which apparently silently warns that "you have a 50/50 chance of being told to fuck off." <sigh> Not exactly the impression that I want to give, but there it is. However, back to the original topic...I would not want to be asked if I could be hugged. I'd much rather hug -- as uncomfortable as it can be for me -- for a second than have to look at someone and say "No." That just seems rude to me.

LotusSong -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 4:38:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sweet1Maybe4U *blinks......does that mean I cant hug ya?....huh ... you wouldn't like it. I am brief and follow it with that "pat on the back" thing. It's just awkward as hell for me.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 4:45:39 PM)
I think maybe it IS a Southern thing. At my Southern Baptist Church we even had brief interludes during a sermon to hug, and hugs were expected out the door. My dad came home from work every night. Expected a hug. I don't always like it when someone I don't know hugs me, but even if the person is horribly offensive in odor. Its a brief interlude to my day. However, I respect another's personal space, and never hug without encouragement to do so.

Sweet1Maybe4U -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 4:51:36 PM)
Ive never asked someone if I could or should hug them..I just always have..when greeting them and saying goodbyes. It just comes naturally to me. We did those things in my church too WinsomeDefiance. Hugs make me happy. *makes a mental note to not hug LotusSong (for Her comfort)

Griswold -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 4:56:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong In summary I ask, what's with all the hugging these days??? That's what I'm fucking asking !!!! What's with all this politeness shit? Who proscribed all this good natured shit? What ever fucking happened to all the "FUCK YOU" shit? I wanna fucking know. (Of course, said in the most submissive of ways).

Sweet1Maybe4U -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 5:02:54 PM)
blinks.......maybe you need a hug?.....snickers

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 5:08:41 PM)
Come on everyone, Griswold needs a group hug. And a ball gag.

Sweet1Maybe4U -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 5:11:02 PM)
*gets out da pink one....Here...gather round....squeeeeze!....

Sweet1Maybe4U -> RE: Gratuitous Hugging (8/30/2007 5:24:24 PM)
nite everyone and uh..hugs! my SweetUms is coming over..ive missed Him terribly.. quickly hides da pink ball gag...........blinks

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