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She feel she is not quite ready for a relationship and feels she need some time to get your head in order.

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ORIGINAL: callistein

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If we start talking to some one on line then talk on a phone technical we have met them we have just not touched them Just my take

Interesting take. Simple question for you then. If you have never physically met someone ( as in person ), how can you confess to know them well enough to establish whether or not you are compatible? Or do you base your relationships on the surface only?

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ORIGINAL: mmb1

Well you see, for some the phrase "over controlling" is not necessarily a sign of insecurity, but one of absolute security, and if both agree, I would say, then that is their decision.

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ORIGINAL: mmb1

I am going to give my final opinion.........go by your heart and what you share in common.  It's similar to someone calling a dependent submissive "weak".  An "over controlling" Dom is insecure or desperate?  Who should be deciding these things but the couple themselves?  Good luck!

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

~FR~

I completely agree with Beth. If I'm not ready for a relationship, I can't, in good conscience, choose A or B.  

I'm hoping she didn't choose either since she's not ready, but did she, in fact, choose one over the other?

Celeste

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ORIGINAL: MstrSkyWoIf

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ORIGINAL: callistein

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If we start talking to some one on line then talk on a phone technical we have met them we have just not touched them Just my take

Interesting take. Simple question for you then. If you have never physically met someone ( as in person ), how can you confess to know them well enough to establish whether or not you are compatible? Or do you base your relationships on the surface only?

 

This is why personally I do feel to some extent before a physical meeting takes place talking to someone on the phone in the beginning I get a better feel for that person. After that if I want to move forward to a real in person meeting I already have a good feel for if that person is sane or insane. Everyone has manorisms and tones that you can hear in there voice and if you pay attention you can get a good feel for who they are at their core based on that and what they tend to talk about most. So beginning on the phone to me is an advantage not a disadvantage. 

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ORIGINAL: Squeakers

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ORIGINAL: MstrSkyWoIf

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ORIGINAL: callistein

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If we start talking to some one on line then talk on a phone technical we have met them we have just not touched them Just my take

Interesting take. Simple question for you then. If you have never physically met someone ( as in person ), how can you confess to know them well enough to establish whether or not you are compatible? Or do you base your relationships on the surface only?

 

This is why personally I do feel to some extent before a physical meeting takes place talking to someone on the phone in the beginning I get a better feel for that person. After that if I want to move forward to a real in person meeting I already have a good feel for if that person is sane or insane. Everyone has manorisms and tones that you can hear in there voice and if you pay attention you can get a good feel for who they are at their core based on that and what they tend to talk about most. So beginning on the phone to me is an advantage not a disadvantage. 

  *Quote edited to save space*
     I agree that phone time is a true advantage to a point.    I believe that it depends on how much phone time a person actually puts in.   You would not necessarily be able to detect a persons core by a few telephone conversations.   You also would not be able to detect if a person were sane or insane based simply on a few phone calls.   I highly doubt a person can detect this over a series of phone calls unless, the other person is very detailed about their feelings, emotions, behaviors, their inner thoughts and even then, how would one know they were being completely honest.  
   I really can not see a person saying, "well sometimes I hear voices,"---"hold just a second my other personality wants to talk now,"...if people have these types of issues (and please do not think for a second that I am poking fun at those who do) it is very doubtful that they are going to come right out and say it even in a serious manner.   Some might but for many there must be a huge level of trust prior to speaking about it.   In case of a mental illness, sometimes, people afflicted with it are good at hiding it simply because of the judgement.
   It is my belief that through a series of phone calls, im conversations, emails and snail mail one can get a basic sense of who the other person is.   Especially if the form of communication is written and refered back to for inconsistancies.   On the flip side, I sincerely believe that in addition to this, face to face is always very important and more than a weekend, more than a few visits here and there at least for me it is.   There are just some things that one can not detect on a phone.  
  Perfect example:   The girl (submissive or vanilla) who meets a man online.   They speak via internet, move to the phone, agree to meet, and date several months.     He is divorced, well off, devoted to his child, owns his home and is in business for himself.   She meets his child, goes to his home, he lavishes her with gifts, treats her in a respectful manner.   She takes the plunge and moves in.   She learns over the course of  a few months in his home, he is not really divorced, he is deeply in debt and his bank account has been in the red for months (thank god for over draft protection), her income exceeds his and she is just over poverty level, his business is Amway and the only way he makes money is when he purchases a bunch of junk from them and he suppliments that income with a disability check, normally he lays around in bed all day flipping the remote while she takes care of the child he was so devoted to, there are 17 other women he is currently speaking to online and meets some of them for casual sex and he has an anger management problem and resorts using his hands to solve his disagreements.   She could NOT have picked this up over the phone, she could NOT have picked this up in several face to face visits to his home, this man could have played out this act for quite sometime without her being the wiser.    The above is a completely true story that happened to an actual person and I know her very well.  

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ORIGINAL: Squeakers

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ORIGINAL: MstrSkyWoIf

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ORIGINAL: callistein

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If we start talking to some one on line then talk on a phone technical we have met them we have just not touched them Just my take

Interesting take. Simple question for you then. If you have never physically met someone ( as in person ), how can you confess to know them well enough to establish whether or not you are compatible? Or do you base your relationships on the surface only?

 

This is why personally I do feel to some extent before a physical meeting takes place talking to someone on the phone in the beginning I get a better feel for that person. After that if I want to move forward to a real in person meeting I already have a good feel for if that person is sane or insane. Everyone has manorisms and tones that you can hear in there voice and if you pay attention you can get a good feel for who they are at their core based on that and what they tend to talk about most. So beginning on the phone to me is an advantage not a disadvantage. 

  *Quote edited to save space*
     I agree that phone time is a true advantage to a point.    I believe that it depends on how much phone time a person actually puts in.   You would not necessarily be able to detect a persons core by a few telephone conversations.   You also would not be able to detect if a person were sane or insane based simply on a few phone calls.   I highly doubt a person can detect this over a series of phone calls unless, the other person is very detailed about their feelings, emotions, behaviors, their inner thoughts and even then, how would one know they were being completely honest.  
   I really can not see a person saying, "well sometimes I hear voices,"---"hold just a second my other personality wants to talk now,"...if people have these types of issues (and please do not think for a second that I am poking fun at those who do) it is very doubtful that they are going to come right out and say it even in a serious manner.   Some might but for many there must be a huge level of trust prior to speaking about it.   In case of a mental illness, sometimes, people afflicted with it are good at hiding it simply because of the judgement.
   It is my belief that through a series of phone calls, im conversations, emails and snail mail one can get a basic sense of who the other person is.   Especially if the form of communication is written and refered back to for inconsistancies.   On the flip side, I sincerely believe that in addition to this, face to face is always very important and more than a weekend, more than a few visits here and there at least for me it is.   There are just some things that one can not detect on a phone.  
  Perfect example:   The girl (submissive or vanilla) who meets a man online.   They speak via internet, move to the phone, agree to meet, and date several months.     He is divorced, well off, devoted to his child, owns his home and is in business for himself.   She meets his child, goes to his home, he lavishes her with gifts, treats her in a respectful manner.   She takes the plunge and moves in.   She learns over the course of  a few months in his home, he is not really divorced, he is deeply in debt and his bank account has been in the red for months (thank god for over draft protection), her income exceeds his and she is just over poverty level, his business is Amway and the only way he makes money is when he purchases a bunch of junk from them and he suppliments that income with a disability check, normally he lays around in bed all day flipping the remote while she takes care of the child he was so devoted to, there are 17 other women he is currently speaking to online and meets some of them for casual sex and he has an anger management problem and resorts using his hands to solve his disagreements.   She could NOT have picked this up over the phone, she could NOT have picked this up in several face to face visits to his home, this man could have played out this act for quite sometime without her being the wiser.    The above is a completely true story that happened to an actual person and I know her very well.  

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

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I hope she is ok now... OK I am still not going to say what happened yet. I would hope just for now to keep the posts to a short I would NOT pick Dom ? and this is why and I would pic Dom ? and this is why.

We all know neither is also a choice but she has already chosen one... So based only on what we know what choice would you have made.

 
No.  There are not just two options but three.  I would question why you do not see that.
 
A
B
or neither A nor B.
 
You stated she said she was not ready for a relationship.  So why go for A or B?
 
Peace
the.dark.

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ORIGINAL: texancutie

Haven't read any other replies yet....but if I were her I wouldn't choose either of them.  Neither one is really playing with a full deck of cards. 

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ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance


Squeakers, squeek, squeek squeekums

(that is to say, well said! Poor girl!  I hope things worked good for her in the long run)

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I hope she is ok now...