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RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? - 8/31/2007 10:48:19 PM

obis

Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline

I'll go ahead and be contrary just for the sake of doing so.

Pick A. He's closer, she can play with him and then in a few weeks or months she'll leave since she obviously she's not ready to settle down with anyone at the moment. Because of his proximity, spending some time playing won't remove her from her normal life, so she can keep her apartment and job and everything else.

If she went for B, she'd wind up dragging it out over two years of emails and tearful phone conversations with maybe a weekend or two of play. God forbid she actually moved several states away to be with someone she barely cared enough about to be able to choose him in the first place -- then it would be a huge logistical disaster when things fall apart.

Basically it's obvious neither of them is a good long-term relationship choice, and she can use up Dom A a lot faster and more conveniently, allowing everyone to get on with their lives that much sooner.

(in reply to ThinkingKitten)

Post #: 61

RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? - 9/1/2007 1:25:32 AM

straykitten

Posts: 13
Joined: 1/10/2005
From: Detroit, MI
Status: offline

quote:

[Reply to Message] All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive/Slave >> RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4]

quote:

ORIGINAL: obis

I'll go ahead and be contrary just for the sake of doing so.

Pick A. He's closer, she can play with him and then in a few weeks or months she'll leave since she obviously she's not ready to settle down with anyone at the moment. Because of his proximity, spending some time playing won't remove her from her normal life, so she can keep her apartment and job and everything else.

If she went for B, she'd wind up dragging it out over two years of emails and tearful phone conversations with maybe a weekend or two of play. God forbid she actually moved several states away to be with someone she barely cared enough about to be able to choose him in the first place -- then it would be a huge logistical disaster when things fall apart.

Basically it's obvious neither of them is a good long-term relationship choice, and she can use up Dom A a lot faster and more conveniently, allowing everyone to get on with their lives that much sooner.

Bingo. Talking about marriage before any IRL contact? Doesn't sit well with me. All A wants to do is read my Collarme messages and let me run up his utility bills.

_____________________________

~Bonnie

"Wind me up and make me crawl to you
Tie me up and make me call to you" - Louis XIV

"The color is black, the material is leather, the seduction is beauty, the justification is honesty, the aim is ecstasy" ~ Susan Sontag

(in reply to obis)

Post #: 62

RE: Dom A or DOm B who would you be with? - 9/2/2007 2:19:44 AM

twistedkytten

Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline

I would... take what time needed to get the head together on my own..

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 63

RE: Dom A or DOm B who would you be with? - 9/2/2007 7:11:47 AM

WillowRain

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

First, I'm utterly horrified at the way this is all phrased when clearly the person in question hadn't even "MET" one of the dominants. I find it utterly unlikely that she would have any real clue or understanding about who they are. My advice would be to pick neither, step back, spend time face to face. A would be out all together. B would be at "let's have coffee somewhere public" level. Sometimes I think submissives lose their minds, me included, when faced with both a powerful drive to serve and someone who understands it. There should be some kind of takable medication invented to get us through initial courtship with sanity and reserve. If anyone finds this magical substance, for heavens sake order me three bottles.

I hope things worked out okay for your pal.

edited to add: I agree with others who have wisely pointed out the statement where she says that she isn't ready for a serious relationship. They are right, she should respect that and so should they. Everyone sometimes needs time to themselves in their lives.

< Message edited by WillowRain -- 9/2/2007 7:20:04 AM >

(in reply to slave4hotgi)

Post #: 64

RE: Dom A or DOm B who would you be with? - 9/2/2007 8:56:36 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

which one has the better car?

lol

(in reply to WillowRain)

Post #: 65

RE: Dom A or DOm B who would you be with? - 9/2/2007 9:01:56 AM

sintralgasub

Posts: 31
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

I would chose Dom B based on the description given.

< Message edited by sintralgasub -- 9/2/2007 9:06:44 AM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 66

RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? - 9/2/2007 3:49:35 PM

MstrSkyWoIf

Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WillowRain

First, I'm utterly horrified at the way this is all phrased when clearly the person in question hadn't even "MET" one of the dominants. I find it utterly unlikely that she would have any real clue or understanding about who they are. My advice would be to pick neither, step back, spend time face to face. A would be out all together. B would be at "let's have coffee somewhere public" level. Sometimes I think submissives lose their minds, me included, when faced with both a powerful drive to serve and someone who understands it. There should be some kind of takable medication invented to get us through initial courtship with sanity and reserve. If anyone finds this magical substance, for heavens sake order me three bottles.

I hope things worked out okay for your pal.

edited to add: I agree with others who have wisely pointed out the statement where she says that she isn't ready for a serious relationship. They are right, she should respect that and so should they. Everyone sometimes needs time to themselves in their lives.

I love the part about the magic pill and anyone who finds it send me the company name so I can buy some stock.

Now to the post I am not a female so I can only go by my inferior male logic. I see your point about not being ready but seeing as she has feelings for them on some level and they for her Based on statements made by Dom B is he not willing to move as slow as she needs because he has seen her need is that not a good thing or am I missing something?

_____________________________

this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

(in reply to WillowRain)

Post #: 67

RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? - 9/2/2007 4:07:14 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

Well, Dom A would have been off my list as soon as he mentioned closing my personal account and opening a joing one so he can monitor me. Le bull le shit!

Dom B is talking about marriage with someone he's never seen face to face? Red Flag, Red Flag, Red Flag.

She really should get herself together before she entertains the idea of meeting anyone, much less committing her self to a relationship.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)

Post #: 68

RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? - 9/2/2007 5:43:20 PM

MstrSkyWoIf

Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beastie

Well, Dom A would have been off my list as soon as he mentioned closing my personal account and opening a joing one so he can monitor me. Le bull le shit!

Dom B is talking about marriage with someone he's never seen face to face? Red Flag, Red Flag, Red Flag.

She really should get herself together before she entertains the idea of meeting anyone, much less committing her self to a relationship.

I agree with you about Dom A however As a Dom who has a goal of being married to my submissive I often mention I would like to have that as the ultimate goal so the woman I am talking to knows where I am coming form. I do not see Dom B saying they will be married I see him saying if they click the plan would be marriage. Why is that a Red Flag...

Just my take

_____________________________

this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 69

RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? - 9/3/2007 9:09:38 PM

unsung

Posts: 183
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline

In response to the OP:

I would chose neither; I don't do long distance and I do not do desperation. Point blank if a dominant is not taking the time required to get to know me as person, he will not be afforded my submission. A so called dominant that is 'seriously interested' in me will not be interested in me flighting around. I don't talk to multiple dominants at the same time and play them off of each other, cause I certainly would not like that done to me. So in response to your question, my response is none of the above.

< Message edited by unsung -- 9/3/2007 9:11:41 PM >

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)

Post #: 70

RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? - 9/4/2007 6:41:10 AM

QuietDom

Posts: 255
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline

I'm with the ever-growing crowd who see neither A nor B as suitable. My carefully-considered advice is to leave the "relationship" aspects aside for later, take some vacation time, and go spend it in a shallow, wild hedonistic fling with Dom C, full of kinky sex and twisted SM games, with no strings attached (aside from the bondage kind.)

(PS. Bring a warm coat. Dom C lives in Canada,.)

(in reply to unsung)

Post #: 71

RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? - 9/4/2007 7:16:58 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

If they were my only choices i would say Dom B. The answer i can give right now is choice C my own Master.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to QuietDom)

Post #: 72

RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? - 9/6/2007 2:29:24 AM

slave4hotgi

Posts: 17
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

If they were my only choices i would say Dom B. The answer i can give right now is choice C my own Master.

Matt's littleone

Well I agree with you littleone, but she chose Dom A..... And she said Dom B told her, I wish you well and will respect your right to chose who you are with. Even if I do not agree with it. There was much more said but it was kind of personal.

Now that you know the outcome any thoughts anyone?

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 73

RE: Dom A or DOm B who would you be with? - 9/6/2007 3:16:55 AM

trulynangel

Posts: 8
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

I would have to say if she isn't sure she is ready for a relationship...hypothetical or otherwise.....she should continue to talk to Others....The whole idea of someone controling who and when one talks to ppl in my opinion is a dangerous thing. But then, I don't believe in being a slave to anyone either...retaining one's right to and opinion in my world is best. But if a choice must be made at this point...i would have to say Dom B.

angel

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 74

RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? - 9/6/2007 7:12:10 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4hotgi

Well I agree with you littleone, but she chose Dom A..... And she said Dom B told her, I wish you well and will respect your right to chose who you are with. Even if I do not agree with it. There was much more said but it was kind of personal.

Now that you know the outcome any thoughts anyone?

Lots of light and smoke, not a lot of heat?

That in two months, Dom C and D will be the new options.

Which is fine. Don't sweat it, and have fun.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to slave4hotgi)

Post #: 75

RE: Dom A or DOm B who would you be with? - 9/6/2007 7:13:03 AM

xoxi

Posts: 1066
Status: offline

Fast reply:

What the fuck neither. I don't commit to a man if I'm not absolutely sure I want to not only commit to him now, but also try to pursue a future with him.

And I don't do long distance internet crap. My laptop is square and hard plastic I won't be rubbing myself against it anytime soon so I'm sure as hell not going to get all emotional with someone I can't see regularly enough to be happy with. Not to mention someone I've never freaking met.

I met a man once who lived 600 miles away. After we talked for a week he said he would be in my area in 2 weeks and asked if I would like to have dinner. Of course 'be in my area' was actually him bothering to drive down here just to see if his was something worth pursuing, and 'dinner' turned into 3 days. But still.

No effort = no commitment.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 76

RE: Dom A or DOm B who would you be with? - 9/6/2007 7:17:26 AM

xoxi

Posts: 1066
Status: offline

And for all the people saying Dom A is 'omg red flag' for wanting a commitment, and for wanting a joint account...well shit at least he told her what the deal was before they got into a relationship. If that's what she wants to commit to its her damn business...I would ask my SO to either delete their personals ads or if it were something with a forum like CM at least specify, on the top, in BIG LETTERS that they are happily taken and I honestly would have no problem doing the same. Also forums can be used though a joint account. I personally consider the people looking for someone 1200 miles away to be MORE of a red flag because honestly....that means that nobody in their town, their state, or any of the neighboring states will give them the time of day.

At least Dom A is showing her who he is as an actual person and not just condensing his good qualities into chat screens.

< Message edited by xoxi -- 9/6/2007 7:20:22 AM >

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 77

RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? - 9/6/2007 10:21:58 AM

MstrSkyWoIf

Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

And for all the people saying Dom A is 'omg red flag' for wanting a commitment, and for wanting a joint account...well shit at least he told her what the deal was before they got into a relationship. If that's what she wants to commit to its her damn business...I would ask my SO to either delete their personals ads or if it were something with a forum like CM at least specify, on the top, in BIG LETTERS that they are happily taken and I honestly would have no problem doing the same. Also forums can be used though a joint account. I personally consider the people looking for someone 1200 miles away to be MORE of a red flag because honestly....that means that nobody in their town, their state, or any of the neighboring states will give them the time of day.

At least Dom A is showing her who he is as an actual person and not just condensing his good qualities into chat screens.

to be honest we don't know what her relationship with Dom A or B was like and distance has little to do with ones qualities. I am sure we only have the tip of the iceberg so to speak as there has to be much much more to this story. I personally never put restrictions on what might happen life's possibilities are endless if you have an open mind. I just hope for her sake it all works out for her the way she wants it to.

_____________________________

this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 78

RE: Dom A or Dom B who would you be with? - 9/6/2007 11:53:40 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Now that you know the outcome any thoughts anyone?

Yup. I give it 3 months.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)

Post #: 79

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