RE: Struggling With the Word "Sir"

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RE: Struggling With the Word "Sir" - 9/3/2007 12:20:21 AM

LivingInSin

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I was raised in a military inviorment by my dad who is a native Texan. So Sir and Ma'am was said to just about everyone. Even now if im new to a group or just meeting someone at coffee i refer to them as Sir and Ma'am.
When it comes to what to call someone......i lean towards M'lord and M'lady

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RE: Struggling With the Word "Sir" - 9/3/2007 5:03:51 AM

came4U

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Military and Southern politeness asside, we all know the difference between saying Sir to a grocery clerk vs saying Sir to a Dominant, and the emotional tone or undertones that arise with it.

If one finds herself uneasy about using the D/s implied version of Sir, it is your body, brain and soul telling you something.
It is saying 'whoooaah, I don't respect you (yet).

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RE: Struggling With the Word "Sir" - 9/3/2007 8:11:16 AM

Missokyst

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I do think it is a mental thing for many of them. Personally though, if I thought they needed it to make them feel real, I would be too busy giggling internally to get into submitting.
But I am a bitch that way. People are people. We either feel it, or we need to have it reinforced so we can feel it.
I either submit, or I don't. Calling someone by a title isn't a cue that makes me wet.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

A thought just occurred to me ...

I wonder if perhaps some dominants prefer the use of an honorific because it makes them feel more powerful and the submissive less so. Maybe it's not a respect thing at all ...

Hmmmmmmm.

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RE: Struggling With the Word "Sir" - 9/3/2007 5:22:27 PM

curiouspet55

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I can understand where you're coming from. Sometimes I have issues with the word "Sir," because it doesn't always flow naturally. "Master" is much easier for me to use, but I don't feel comfortable using it until I am collared. I've dealt with it by using the first name, or not using Sir after afterthing I say but only when I feel compelled to use it.

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RE: Struggling With the Word "Sir" - 9/3/2007 5:42:56 PM

Phoenix2raven

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raven says: sapphirepleasure, reading your story about that time spent in Texas, it makes pefect sense you have an aversion to the word "sir." as with any aversion, you can go around it - find a name you do love to use, that's in your heart - or you can start using it a lot until you get used to it ... perhaps writing it over and over on paper, in reference to your Dom, in journaling? not sure if the written usage would soften the spoken usage for you, but worth a try?

< Message edited by Phoenix2raven -- 9/3/2007 5:43:50 PM >

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RE: Struggling With the Word "Sir" - 9/3/2007 5:49:54 PM

goalie62

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With me, I tell my sub that I am to be addressed as sir until she asks for and I have granted her a collar, then she is to address me as master. Just me, YMMV

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RE: Struggling With the Word "Sir" - 9/3/2007 7:01:08 PM

celticlord2112

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quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

A thought just occurred to me ...

I wonder if perhaps some dominants prefer the use of an honorific because it makes them feel more powerful and the submissive less so. Maybe it's not a respect thing at all ...

Hmmmmmmm.

I have no doubt there are those who use honorifics in order to obtain a sense of power. The ersthile dominant who insists on a submissive saying "sir" immediately upon striking up a conversation definitely seems to fall into that category.

However, there are many cultural precedents for the use of honorifics. I do have my slave call me "Sir" (at times she uses "Master" as well, of her own volition). My preference for the honorific comes from both my time in the Marines as well as my having been a student of the martial arts for most of my life; in both of those sub-cultures, it is just the right thing to do. I take that cultural programming and apply it to my M/s relationships.

Where the cultural background does not establish the use of honorifics, I can see how it would pose major problems within any relationship.

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RE: Struggling With the Word "Sir" - 9/3/2007 10:11:13 PM

TexasMaam

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I can only offer you the only military analogy that worked for a Navy man of My acquaintance:

While in the Navy, a boilerroom hand was commanded to respond to a flaming asshole of a superior as "Sir" just because he WAS his superior. The Navy hand went to a trusted counselor on board the Mighty Mo "USS MISSOURI" at the time of the Japanese Emperor's surrender to the US and he asked how he could possibly be expected to address this assinine individual as "Sir".

He was given some great advice.

"Son, you don't address the Man as "Sir', you address the stripes he's earned as "Sir"."

Don't address this individual fellow as Sir, yet, if it's not in your heart.

Accord him the respect of his years in the lifestyle, or his expertise with a whip or with a cane, by referring to those years of training as "Sir", instead.

If and when you're ever ready to transition to him as being addressed as YOUR Sir, you can then call him "Sir" and feel in your heart as though he's earned the privilege.

This approach just might make it easier for you to comply.

TM

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 9/3/2007 10:12:56 PM >

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