quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetNsmartBBW

I too agree that consent is the key; but the dom in question seemed to imply that he believed consent was inherent if a woman was submissive.  I told him I'd do no more than meet for coffee at a public place for a first meeting- and he countered with: " (I) met a sweet tender sub once and walked her to her car where I pinned her agains the vehicle and reached in her pants until she came while I held her wrists behind her back - would something like that upset you?" 
.       
"I am a Dom inasmuch as every other recognized Dom says so and ever true sub experiences it as such";  and then continued to accuse me of not being submissive because I disagreed with him.  

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetNsmartBBW

He said that because the men I have met have exercised self restraint they were not 'real' doms.  That of the ~thousands~ of Doms and subs he has met, they have all affirmed that a dom takes what he wants and a REAL sub is submissive to ANY true Dom she meets.  The exact quote was "A sub is a sub". 

<snip> I was told that he would not indulge me with answers because I was not really submissive. He had no notion of the idea of consent being a valid concept- not if the woman in question was submissive.   That not being submissive to ANY 'real dom" makes a submissive  ambivalent or undecided about who she is.  He literally told me that I was the ~one~ exception to the THOUSANDS of subs he knows. 

Oh, and I should mention, when I said I was bringing this to the boards for the opinions of others, I was told that the folks online are "less genuine" than others, and that it would be a futile attempt at self affirmation on my part.

So, my question is this: When is it dominance and when does that cross the line and become abuse/assault?  Do you think a sub female that is NOT in a relationship with you has the right to say no?  (Just playing devil's advocate)

First, what a dipshit. Second, what a blowhard. Third, what a liar.

To answer your questions, it becomes abuse when she indicates "no." A sub female ALWAYS has the right to say no, regardless if she is in a relationship with anyone.

Send this jerkoff my way. I'm feeling kinda fiery and in the mood for a good ... um ... debate.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetNsmartBBW

Hi...I have a question that stems from a conversation with a dom that is very active in the local scene and claims to be well respected and accepted.  He gave me the following 'advice':  "...be careful who you meet for coffee as
if they are a true dom and they like you, you wiull not have
a choice about what goes on in your pants by the time you get
back to your car - or are you a sub sho never loses or
control or submits?"

Now, it's good advice, I know- but this Dom was condoning such behavior on the part of  dominants.  He said that because the men I have met have exercised self restraint they were not 'real' doms.  That of the ~thousands~ of Doms and subs he has met, they have all affirmed that a dom takes what he wants and a REAL sub is submissive to ANY true Dom she meets.  The exact quote was "A sub is a sub". 

I'd love to hear some of the views of other Doms, as when I asked for clarification from the one that made the quote- I was told that he would not indulge me with answers because I was not really submissive.  Could be because I accused him of being a sexual predator that hid behind his title and used his dominant orientation as an excuse to victimize women.  He had no notion of the idea of consent being a valid concept- not if the woman in question was submissive.   That not being submissive to ANY 'real dom" makes a submissive  ambivalent or undecided about who she is.  He literally told me that I was the ~one~ exception to the THOUSANDS of subs he knows. 

Oh, and I should mention, when I said I was bringing this to the boards for the opinions of others, I was told that the folks online are "less genuine" than others, and that it would be a futile attempt at self affirmation on my part.

So, my question is this: When is it dominance and when does that cross the line and become abuse/assault?  Do you think a sub female that is NOT in a relationship with you has the right to say no?  (Just playing devil's advocate)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

Careful, Slaveish. With his stunning grasp of 'log-ick' he might prove you're not real either, and then where will you be?

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

Careful, Slaveish. With his stunning grasp of 'log-ick' he might prove you're not real either, and then where will you be?

If he proves I'm not real, I'm not paying my bills any more. I'll tell ya that much. As for where I'll be ... err ... I guess wherever it is I am now, since if he proves I'm not real later then I must not be real now.

But if I'm not real now, how come I want a moon pie? Are moon pies real?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cyntilating

sigh..
::putting on flame-retardant body suit:::