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Bobkgin -> RE: How do Dominants keep "White Knight" syndrome in check? (9/30/2007 7:44:03 AM)
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ORIGINAL: xoxi
Wow what the hell???
What does THIS have to do with, oh, ANYTHING?
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To the audience at large:
How do you feel when members of the so-called BDSM 'community' persecute other members of the 'community' through witch hunts, kangaroo courts, and similar methods?
What of the many white knights we have here who love to tell you who is "twue" and who is not? Are you grateful to have self-appointed 'judges' to tell you what to think of others?
What of those who take quotes out of context so as to misrepresent individuals and 'warn' you away from them? Does the fact they need to manufacture their own 'evidence' bother you, or is it okay with you?
I'm in a nice mood this morning (it's Sunday. My favorite day) so I'm going to give you a bit of advice here:
1. There is more than one community in the world. If the one you joined is full of bullies who don't like you, perhaps it is best to find another.
There are bullies in every forum. You either learn to deal with them or you run forever.
I've chosen the former.
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2. Nobody has to like you. In fact nobody has to respect you. This entitlement mentality has been increasingly more prevalent lately, but long story short - friends and respect are something earned.
And with reasonable, mature individuals this is not a problem.
Bullies and other immature individuals, there is little if any hope unless I were to stoop to their level.
Apparently I am to be smeared because I refused to stoop.
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3. Posting stuff like what I have quoted that is irrelevant to the topic, and posting it to a dead topic, is quite amusing to others but the fallout does not seem amusing to you. Perhaps you need to study the art of self preservation?
If what you've selectively quoted is irrelevant to the topic, it is because you've selected a partial quote so as to make this claim.
"dead topic" - I don't consider page three "dead". Lucky is fond of pointing out that no topic is truly dead: just look at the list of links she posts whenever a new thread on an old topic appears.
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4. It's not all about you.
The gang quickly makes it all about me.
If you go back to Pg. 7, Post #134 of this thread you'll see I didn't mention me.
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5. Even when everyone's talking about you, it's still not all about you. It just means you're being highly vocal at the moment. As soon as you shut up, it's no longer about you. Because it never was.
And the difference between shutting up because of bullies and running away because of bullies would be?
I noticed that when I ignore them and simply talk to those who are on-topic the gang does not disappear, does not stop trying to hi-jack threads. Why is Punishment not seen as Abusive? is a clear example of this.
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6. This is a message board full of old people, young people, fat people, thin people, white people, black people, male people, female people, rich people, poor people, and basically everyone else. I've never seen anyone 'gang up' on someone because of ANY of these attributes. The only criterion by which people are judged on a message board are the messages that they post. In other words, if people don't 'like' you, it's because of what you say. Feel free to take it personally - it has nothing to do with your gender, race, social class or D/s status. It's entirely you.
Xoxi, you seem to be under the impression that I take offense that bullies don't like me.
I happen to be quite proud to know I am the kind of person bullies don't like.
[:)]
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7. If the ratio of people criticizing you to people defending you is highly skewed toward the former, you might want to consider perhaps they have a point.
"The objectives of bullies are Power, Control, Domination, Subjugation. They get a kick out of seeing you react. It doesn't matter how you react, the fact they've successful provoked a reaction is, to the bully, a sign that their attempt at control have been successful. After that, it's a question of wearing you down. The more you try to explain, negotiate, conciliate, etc the more gratification they obtain from your increasingly desperate attempts to communicate with them. Understand that it is not possible to communicate in a mature adult manner with a disordered individual who's emotionally retarded."
http://www.bullyonline.org/related/cyber.htm
Seems much more likely to me that the results are skewed due to the fact that bullies thrive by intimidating others.
And either you do not know or have failed to mention that I've had many pleasant discussions with people who have different points of view than mine.
The difference between them and the bullies? These few individuals discuss the topic and do not try to turn it into an attack of who is 'twuer'.
They engage the discussion with their intellects, not their egos.
I had a good day yesterday. Spent it fishing with my friend. Caught a huge pike, my best this year. Came home late, tired, and content.
Took a look at Why is Punishment not seen as Abusive? and saw all the pus injected by the gang.
And then I came to this one gem from Aswad.
We each view a variety of issues differently. We also view some issues in similar ways.
Could have wasted my time addressing the pus, but why should I?
Aswad, Submittous, and a few others show me that there is intelligent life here. People who have their egos in check sufficiently that they can have a great conversation with someone over all sorts of issues.
Obviously not everyone here has reached that degree of maturity and confidence.
What I find somewhere between alarming and amusing is that so many claim to be into bdsm who obviously have no handle on their egos.
If you cannot control yourself, how do you expect to serve another or control another, as the case may be?
Ego is a product of immature thinking.
Confidence based on self-awareness has no need for it, and isn't threatened by the differences in others.
Since I arrived the gang have been jumping around like enraged monkeys accusing me of being a danger and a threat, a fraud and a liar.
I think it safe to characterize their behaviour as symptomatic of feeling threatened by me.
And judging from the immaturity of their behaviour towards me, I can see they are engaging their egos, not their intellect.
That tells me I'm a threat to their egos, which would explain why they try to bully me into retreat.
And that they do it publicly without concern tells me this has worked for them so well that they choose it without a second thought.
That no one has stood up to them.
That would explain their obsessive/compulsive tendencies towards me. By not giving up and not giving in I actually challenge their whole bullying strategy.
This has gone beyond amusing for them. They are fighting for their 'right' to successfully intimidate whomever they choose.
Doesn't help their ability to intimidate if someone like me refuses to be intimidated.
If you want another example of someone they've tried to bully, you need look no further than the No Limits: How far would you go? thread and all the attacks made against Prop.
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