RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd

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Grlwithboy -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 8:49:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Archer quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy quote: ORIGINAL: Archer Both sides of the what to teach when discussion have their foundation in fact. I have seen people with hold information for far longer than nessisary based on nothing more than the idea of "This is the way I was taught", and I have seen people rush hellbentforleather into dangerous territory without having learned the foundation basics, all the while complaining that nobody wanted to teach them the skill they wanted right away but rather wanted them to cover "useless stuff" first. Sometimes the useless stuff is actually useless, other times that useless stuff is simply not recognized as being valuable, because the student isn't ready to learn. I agree with your observation. Do you find that sometimes the emotional/psychological/more intangible toolkit (because it's so subjective) sometimes suffers at the expense of "ok, you can do this physically, so go do it now?" YES YES YES hte meat of why it gets touchy for many foks to pass on the information to someone who is younger. Are they ready for this information at that age? Was I? What are the risks of passing the information on to them too early? What are the risks of passing it on too late? That's an angle I'm developing a little more compassion for, coming from you. I have to admit, I feel that I came in with less than optimal confidence and I harbor some annoyance still with the fact that I felt my confidence as a Domme/Top was stymied rather than helped in my coming onto the scene and I really had to struggle for it again. I have suspicions about why that happened. It's important for me to not err in compensation when I teach, which I'm first being called on to do a little. I do spend a LOT and I mean most of my time just trying to list as many considerations, questions, and possible outcomes so that people go in thinking about them. But leaving the meat of "should/should not" to them.

SolarAndViolet -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 8:53:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 again your missing the point. for people to build a house they have to have a foundation. what your bring to the table. it is a lot more then the lifestyle it is about life in general. to walk with someone on a unified journey ..you better have your ducks in a row. No the point is that you think only certain things count for a foundation. I've worked with those dying of cancer. That's an experience and it taught me compassion. I wept for the children too young to remember their mothers currently dying of breast cancer. I wept for the father who will never see his daughter go on her first date because his illness was moving too quickly. I've volunteered at historical sites. That was an experience that taught me respect for my elders and a love of the knowledge they can pass down to me. I learned how to teach those older than me and still be respectful of their knowledge. I also learned how to get rid of drunken college kids trying to use a tombstone to crack open a watermelon for their picnic. I have taught martial arts and been in training for them since I was in middle school. Those experiences have taught me so much. The joy of working with children, humility, self-respect and self-control. More importantly, it taught me that someone younger than me can know a great deal more and that I would be an utter fool to dismiss their knowledge because of their youth. I have nearly finished college. I have learned that teachers are not always right. I have learned how to present my opinions, even when they differ from my teacher's, in a respectful way. I have learned a great deal about what is important to me. Paying off a mortage teaches you how to pay off a mortage. Putting your kids through college teaches you how to apply for loans, be careful with your money or how to tell your kid "You are on your own for school", depending on what kind of person you are. For that matter, I have a friend my own age who already owns a house because he already learned how to pay off a mortage. You can not point to any specific things and say "this is what a person mature" or "this is what makes a person a good dominant or submissive". i guess the best way to put it to you is read the book. cause in the book of life you will have to go through chapter by chapter page by page and in the end you will see I was right. I will not have to show you anything cause It will for me Just because someone didn't put kids through college (gee I know 40-50 year olds who are very smart but haven't had been able to have kids at all for one reason or another... does that make them any less in the 'knowledge of life' ? ), doesn't mean they have any less to contribute or any less knowledge about things than others. They might, or might not. They might know something the person who was busy putting kids through college doesn't know. Whether it's about lifestyle or not we all learn different ways because we follow different paths, our own paths. There is no set equation on how to learn life (marry, have kids, send them through school, pay mortgage, retire). Ok, so you might find those who didn't do the things you did, interesting. Doesn't mean they are inexperienced or in any way lower than you just because they weren't alive or old enough for certain historical fact. Because in fact, history is happening everyday. 'violet'

Archer -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 8:57:01 AM)
LOL what will be really fun for you then will be when someone comes to you and says MrX is telling folks you taught him ABC and he's hurting people in a bad way. That's an experience that hurts. And it is a contributing factor to people holding back folks who could learn faster and better. Quality control when teaching skill sets is tough when you don't select the students yourself.

disciplinedslave -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 8:58:03 AM)
Personally, I think that if an older person thinks no one who is 20-something has anything to show them, they're an idiot who just wants to remain that way. I also think that 20-somethings that harp about how tired they are that the age card gets played are still acting like children. Age is just a number people. Get over it and move on with life.

Grlwithboy -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 9:02:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Archer LOL what will be really fun for you then will be when someone comes to you and says MrX is telling folks you taught him ABC and he's hurting people in a bad way. That's an experience that hurts. And it is a contributing factor to people holding back folks who could learn faster and better. Quality control when teaching skill sets is tough when you don't select the students yourself. Yeah, I've had restless nights over the prospect, but I'm yet to have the experience. Which is purely a lack of teaching experience, not any brilliance on my part. Humiliation/ego is my "thing" - go for the easy stuff to teach, huh?

Archer -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 9:08:33 AM)
I actually think it's a really good thing to have young kinksters teach at least small classes earlier rather than later. It helps remove the age bias as well as helping them to see the reasons some older more experienced folks have trepidation about teaching them something when they are not sure if they are ready for it. And actually Humiliation is a tough one to teach well. I don't even attempt the class, but will contribute, or teach a little one on one. Classroom teaching Humiliation, no thank you. LOL

SubJordanTyler -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 9:23:30 AM)
I personally think experience and knowledge is more important than age. What if you have someone who is 45 who just got into the lifestyle a year ago and then have someone who is 25, but has been doing this since they were 18?? Doesn't the younger person have more experience and knowledge than the older person, even though that older person is 20 years older?? I would have to say yes. And that's the person I would want to learn from.

domiguy -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 9:31:08 AM)
It really comes down to one basic concept....If you have a ton of knowledge and you are an idiot....I'm staying clear of you.....If you know little and are an idiot ...I'm steering clear of you....If you are know little and are an idiot, but are a frickin' hottie....I will stay clear of you after an hour or so.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 9:39:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SubJordanTyler What if you have someone who is 45 who just got into the lifestyle a year ago and then have someone who is 25, but has been doing this since they were 18?? Doesn't the younger person have more experience and knowledge than the older person, even though that older person is 20 years older?? I would have to say yes. Depends on what aspects of experience we are discussing. A person who is 45 but just now getting into the lifestyle might still have an abundance of experience in humiliation, for example, just by virtue of some of the BS that occurs on the job, et cetera. By the same token, the 25 year old who's been flogging since 18 would clearly have an experience advantage there. "Experience," like life, just doesn't occur in a vacuum.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 10:09:40 AM)
OK quit being educated stupid.. Get some freaking common sense my post are this that there are some things that come with age. while those who are being analytical critical. and mostl likely miss the flavor of life. I suggest that you A take in the whole picture not how the brush strokes were done not the type of canvas that was used. in simple terms take it for what it is and deal with it. it is kinda like those pictures you use to stare at that made a picture or image with in

AquaticSub -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 10:15:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 OK quit being educated stupid.. Get some freaking common sense my post are this that there are some things that come with age. while those who are being analytical critical. and mostl likely miss the flavor of life. I suggest that you A take in the whole picture not how the brush strokes were done not the type of canvas that was used. in simple terms take it for what it is and deal with it. it is kinda like those pictures you use to stare at that made a picture or image with in Well that was mature. Yes. Some things come with age for most people. However, as we already discussed in a previous thread, they do not come for all people and they come for everyone at different rates. A certain percentage of people get stuck in phases and never grow and others, due to circumstances or their own nature, advance more rapidly.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 10:20:20 AM)
Errr....ok. Would you mind retyping that with a few commas? Consider them a bit of grammatical spice to enhance the flavor....

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 10:21:40 AM)
oh yes you mean like paris hilton and brittyney yep yep oh well lol

AquaticSub -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 10:27:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 oh yes you mean like paris hilton and brittyney yep yep oh well lol So I should judge you by Osma bin Laden since he is over 40? ooo ooo Or how about all the politicans and religious folks who keep saying homosexuality is evil and then are caught buying male hookers! They are over 40 so they must be just like you! I mean... that's the reasoning you are using anyway.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 10:32:18 AM)
i do not know unless you like chaos. shrugs lol

AquaticSub -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 10:33:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 i do not know unless you like chaos. shrugs lol So.. if I judge you by the worst of those your age, it's chaos but if you judge me by the worst of my age, it's logic? Hmmm...

servantheart -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 10:35:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 oh yes you mean like paris hilton and brittyney yep yep oh well lol That's hardly a fair fight. Give Paris and Brittney at least Shannon Doherty and Drew Barrymore.... Or have AquaticSub use only her left thumb...because the right thumb is too much for them to handle.

BitaTruble -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 10:53:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SmokingGun82 To bring it on topic, I have a fair amount of experience in quite a few areas of WIITWD. Nowhere would I really say "Oh, I'm super awesome at that," if only because self-promotion isn't really my style. If you were super awesome at say, wax play, and met a sub who was looking for someone super awesome at wax play for a scene, would you admit your skill in that area under that circumstance? I'm super awesome at needle play but I don't consider it self-promotion to say so because I'm not looking to play with anyone. I'm very particular about who's blood I'll spill, so, to me, it's just a general statement and subjective at that because someone else out there might think that I'm 'not' super awesome at needle play. (They'd be wrong. [;)]) quote: Well, that and there's always something else to learn, or think about, or a new technique to try... at least for me. I think BDSM is a lot like any other area of life in at least one respect: no matter how good you are at something, there's someone who's better. Of course, there's one exception to this in every case. Best is going to be as subjective as mediocre, actually. What I think is best might not be what you think is best and vice-a-versa. Do you believe that you can be super awesome at something and still be learning about it? I sure do and that just means that, eventually, I can be mega-super awesome. [:)] quote: The things I like about being 25 is that, one 18 year olds aren't "too young" for me yet ;) . I know that's tongue in cheeky, but it does point out in a very definitive way how society feels about age gaps. 25 and 18, it's all good. 65 and 18 and let's lynch an old fart. [8D] quote: Or, more seriously, there seems to be, in my experience, a more open nature to our generation. I'm not saying everyone over 30/35 is close-minded, or that no one under 30/35 is. It just seems to me that there are more people close to my age that are willing to have fun with someone and go their seperate ways than in other age ranges- or maybe I'm just not attractive to older women, which could be skewing my data. I think being open-minded coupled with being willing to do stuff just for shits and giggles does lay, mainly in the bailiwick of the young and might have something to do with the fear factor. When you're younger you can tend to feel immortal. You have all the time in the world and nothing can harm you, so jump in with both feet and fuck the consequences. As you age, you realize that all that shit you did as a youngster shoulda killed your ass, so you tend to tred a bit more cautiously knowing just how very mortal you truly are. I can't say that I disagree with the concept as a gross generalization with the cavaet that there are going to be exceptions. One of those exceptions is someone who has been participating in BDSM for a few decades and goes to more and more extremes to get those same endorphin flows, kinks or thrills they seek. They've tried so many of the middle bell curve activities that all that's left is what remains on the end. In that instance, I'd say an open mind is going to be imperative if you want to taste all that this life has to offer and having a few decades of adult life experience under your belt might make one more readily able to mental meet some challenges than their younger counter-parts. Again, there are going to be a great many exceptions to that as well. Thanks for the interesting post, SmokingGun. It was exactly what I was hoping for when I started this thread. Celeste

ownedgirlie -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 10:55:41 AM)
~ FR ~ I've been staying out of this thread since I am well over my 20s, but I wanted to add some things to bring it back on topic, as I think some good discussion has occurred in the midst of it all. SmokingGun, I loved your post. Thanks for sharing your perspective and giving us such a clear look into your world. I, as an "older person" really appreciate that and respect you for it. Also, I have two very dear "younger" friends. One is a bright, funny, highly intelligent woman in her 20's who has helped me see internal beauty in myself that I was unaware of before, and who took the time to build a solid and valued friendship with me that will grow and last years to come. The other just turned 32 and has given me more insight into my slavery and how my Master thinks than I have gained anywhere else, other than a few other close friends and Mr. Wonderful himself :) And her only exposure to BDSM and D/s or M/s is from me. But she knows me, and she is extremely insightful and loving and compassionate and wise. I have learned a great deal from her, and she has been an enormous influence to me in my life, starting from when she was much younger than 30. Attitude has so much to do with it, as does open mindedness. Yes, I think my father had more overall wisdom in is late years than I did in my 20s. If I had listened to him then I would have avoided a LOT of pain in my life. But we all have our journeys to go through, and if we can share our experiences and wisdom along the way, regardless of our age, more power to us. Thanks to those of you in the "younger generation" who have posted insightful words here. I enjoy and appreciate what you have to offer.

LaTigresse -> RE: Invite to the under 30's crowd (9/6/2007 10:56:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy I am so much less interested with what a person's done in the way of mortgage jobs and illness than I am in who they are when they do love, fear, hate, anger, joy, enthusiasm, creativity, friendship, analytical thinking, compassion. All that. Exactly!

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