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Applications - 9/7/2007 9:37:50 AM   
curiouspet55


Posts: 133
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Until recently, I had never really pondered the concept of applying to be someone's sub/slave. Someone introduced the topic the other day, and now it seems I keep hearing of it everywhere I look.

I am just curious, how many Dom/mes out there use an application process, how is your process set up, and why do you choose to use it?

thanks,
cp55
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 9:47:13 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		It sounds like a lazy way of getting to know someone.  

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(in reply to curiouspet55)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 9:54:36 AM   
InfernoMDM


Posts: 51
Joined: 3/20/2005
Status: offline 		I am no expert on anything, and I by no means feel that I remotely have the knowledge others have.  However here is my take.  First Applications, and contracts to me are useless bits of paper in the most part.  I have seen several people using them more  as a crutch to induce the artificial feel of domination instead of as a tool.  For instance you get a submissive who has been a power driven corporate oligarch.  Although she will fully know that this paperwork is farce and not binding the psychological effects on such a person would be far greater then say that of a country girl.  It may have its time and place on certain people, but I really find them to be a waste unless used to draw a submissive in psychologically.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 9:56:23 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well for some people it's just an easy way to weed out all the immediate wankers.

And then it's a way to build a strictly service based relationship- if they can't put together a decent application, then you know how much work you'll have to do right from the start to get them useful to you.

Kinky people love to formalize things and "feel special" also- making a slave petition or "apply" for a position gives everyone yummy fuzzies.

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Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 9:57:58 AM   
Masternslave07


Posts: 203
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		Never used an application. It seems that would take all the fun out of getting to know someone.

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(in reply to curiouspet55)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 10:01:08 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Sure-first they have to get by the various ornyness in my profile-that weeds out 99% of the fantasy seekers. The remainder can then go look at my board posts-off go some more.

Then they have to drop thier pretenses of needing to be chased-and actually drop me a line. What happens from there happens-it's not a bad process overall.



quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouspet55

Until recently, I had never really pondered the concept of applying to be someone's sub/slave. Someone introduced the topic the other day, and now it seems I keep hearing of it everywhere I look.

I am just curious, how many Dom/mes out there use an application process, how is your process set up, and why do you choose to use it?

thanks,
cp55

(in reply to curiouspet55)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 10:06:17 AM   
curiouspet55


Posts: 133
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Thanks for the responses thus far.

Rrafe- good point. I hadn't really thought of that, but initial screening/contact in and of itself is an application as well.

The Dom I was talking with originally about the topic had an application that kind of allowed me to formally express my feelings regarding certain BDSM topics. The application wasn't introduced until we'd been talking for quite a while, but was a more formal transition from talking to exploration of D/s within our friendship. Some/most things we'd already discussed, but this was kind of like a journal entry on each topic, that he could see my thoughts on and know they weren't influenced by his preferences. I hadn't seen an application before, but I appreciated the act. Maybe I am a papers/writing type of girl? My biggest concern had been that other people could fill it out at the same time, but that is no longer the case. I hope that the Dom I'm referencing can get online and comment, his insight would probably be more helpful.

Anyhow, I was wondering if anyone who has one of these "systems" (I know they're out there!) could maybe elaborate on why they choose to use an application, and what types of things are on it? What purpose does it serve to you?

Just trying to see other folks views on this.

< Message edited by curiouspet55 -- 9/7/2007 10:08:58 AM >

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RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 10:08:17 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouspet55

Thanks for the responses thus far.

I don't really have much experience with this, but the Dom I was talking with originally about the topic had an application that kind of allowed me to formally express my feelings regarding certain BDSM topics. Some/most things we'd already discussed, but this was kind of like a journal entry on each topic, that he could see my thoughts on and know they weren't influenced by his preferences. I hadn't seen an application before, but I appreciated the act. Maybe I am a papers/writing type of girl? My biggest concern had been that other people could fill it out at the same time, but that is no longer the case. I hope that the Dom I'm referencing can get online and comment, his insight would probably be more helpful.

Anyhow, I was wondering if anyone who has one of these "systems" (I know they're out there!) could maybe elaborate on why they choose to use an application, and what types of things are on it? What purpose does it serve to you?\

Just trying to see other folks views on this.


I've used formal almost job like structures to find people in the past. They seldom work-they seem to place too much pressure on an applicant to perform. People are a lot more than a list of prefferences.

(in reply to curiouspet55)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 10:10:12 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I can be hep to an application process that covers a great deal of the bases, checklist and whatnot, but the oral interview is what is gonna sell it.

Ron 

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 10:44:55 AM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		I use "petitions." I have two reasons: 1. It's something I've adapted in my (SM based) relationships because it was how I was "mentored" and it was one thing I agreed with and 2. I actually consider it one step of submission and that turns me on.

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 10:48:58 AM   
Dom87110


Posts: 102
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline 		Like LA was saying, some Doms/Masters are certain to get the warm and fuzzies out of having a sub/slave actually apply to become their sub/property.

But honestly, in a society and age of instant impulsive gratification and just jumping right into medias res without even wasting much thought to what happens after the euphoria of the initial hook-up; an application process, no matter how formal or informal, is actually getting both parties to employ their grey matter (to something more useful than simply killing it with excessive drinking and asphyxiation) and actually think about and compose comprehensive (ad hopefully coherent) ideas about what they expect from each other, from themselves, from the relationship and define what/where things are/are not going.

An appropriate pre-cursor to the subsequent contract.

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That's not what I meant by "where the sun don't shine". But it looks good there, too.

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(in reply to curiouspet55)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 11:16:59 AM   
jaxnsax


Posts: 106
Status: offline
Greetings
In my last relationship it was required, after we had talked for some time, that I petition for the position of his slave. During our initial talks, an application was submitted listing what I hoped to receive from the relationship; this list was to be very detailed, including not only physical expectations, but also mental, emotional, and financial. I found it to be quite helpful at times, having all this written out before hand.
When I petitioned, the actual application became even more important because my petition was based on what we had discussed in there.
For some, applications can help to spell out in detail exactly what their duties will be; in doing this there are no surprises. I have found that it is not much different than the steps that many take when getting to know each other, the only difference was that it was all written down for reference.
I wish you good humor and health on this day
jaxon

(in reply to curiouspet55)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 12:23:46 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Gotta love the judgement people throw on something they don't use. (My kink is OK yours is just lazy)

Now to the OP.
I like the petition process for a few reasons some of them covered already.
1.Starts the formal process marks the line between we're just talking here and OK we're moving on to trying to start a relationship.
2. Forces the petitioner to think through exactly what they are asking for, what they expect.
3. Slows down the process so that both parties have time to think and negotiate using their big brains not their little ones.
4. It's ammazing what the simple act of writting down what you want,need, desire can do to clarify one's head.
5. Provides a framework and organiziation for the negotiations, so that all the bases get covered.

Not exactly a less work method of achieving the objective of a well negotiated well talked out begining, in fact it actually ends up being more work just better organized than sitting around talking about all the things one needs to address.

(in reply to jaxnsax)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 12:31:40 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer


3. Slows down the process so that both parties have time to think and negotiate using their big brains not their little ones.



you mean this whole website isn't just about getting laid?

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 3:27:08 PM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouspet55

Until recently, I had never really pondered the concept of applying to be someone's sub/slave. Someone introduced the topic the other day, and now it seems I keep hearing of it everywhere I look.

I am just curious, how many Dom/mes out there use an application process, how is your process set up, and why do you choose to use it?

thanks,
cp55


Ive personally never heard of it and expect its quite rare;only really popular amongst a very small hard core group.

< Message edited by HalloweenWhite -- 9/7/2007 3:32:28 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 3:36:04 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		of you have a limited scope of experience

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 3:57:41 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

It sounds like a lazy way of getting to know someone.  

agreed

if i have to apply to be someone's submissive, i do expect a standard living wage, benefits, a semi-annually raise and 2 weeks paid vacation.


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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 4:33:06 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		I dissolve into gales of uninhibited laughter when I find someone requesting an application.  The very idea, to me, is ludicrous.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 5:00:08 PM   
umisprite


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
I can be hep to an application process that covers a great deal of the bases, checklist and whatnot, but the oral interview is what is gonna sell it.
Ron 


I love that response!

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My mistakes are neither pretty nor little.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Applications - 9/7/2007 5:21:42 PM   
umisprite


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline 		This is a subject I need to think more about. I will admit that when I first saw the application requirement in a thread a while back I was confused as to exactly what it was and then I giggled a bit when the concept was explained.
 
I need to what? Apply to be your submissive? I don’t think so unless we are going to negotiate my salary and my benefits and my hours of operation.
 
After reading this thread, however, it has given me some points to consider that I had not before. Perhaps it’s the word ‘application’ that squicks me, but that is just semantics really. I am one who writes continually as a way to clear my head, straighten out my thoughts, get a point across to someone else. I can see where a structured list of questions and my analyzing my responses to those questions could help both me and a potential partner. Some of those responses might include questions for the potential Dom as well and I would expect those to be clarified.
 
Also, the control involved could be a turn on in itself...see this list of questions? Essay style answers by the end of the week! Yes, Sir! I might actually enjoy that.
 
So I am not committing to yea or nay just yet. Just like the OP I’d like to hear more about it from those who employ such methods. If a benevolent Domly type would like to send me an example, strictly as a lesson, I’d be glad to take a look.

_____________________________

My mistakes are neither pretty nor little.

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Profile   Post #: 20
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