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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 1:26:51 PM

phoenixsub999

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It's like having bland food and then having food with tasty spices - it would be so hard (and boring likeMiladyElaine said) to go back to bland...bland will do in a pinch (gotta eat if you're starving), but long term would not work for me. :)

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 2:18:06 PM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

In another thread I asked what inspired people to enter the world of BDSM.

This thread is devoted to why you stay in the world of BDSM.

What are the current perks and rewards that sustain your interest in BDSM?

D/s fulfills a primal need of mine that cannot be met in an egalitarian relationship. But I'm not an abuser or misogynist etc, which means my primal needs can only be satisfied by a partner with her own complementing submissive primal needs.

The "perks" are that I'm no longer frustrated or exasperated by partners who get convenient "headaches"; generally use sexuality to manipulate; who utilise confusing dynamics such as when 'no' means 'yes' or 'maybe' or even 'no'... arrggghhhh!!!!!

Some have said that BDSM is fun but to me; that is waaaaaay too inadequate. As is your own "sustain interest" term. That's like asking how one sustains interest in the opposite sex or a need for intimacy. I'd like to think the only reason I lose interest in such things is because I'm deceased and that when I turn 110, I'll still turn my head to look at a pretty girl walking by (and wish I really were deceased.... lol).

Focus.

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 2:21:51 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MiladyElaine

Vanilla is too boring.
There is a deeper understanding that goes on in this lifestyle and it's a more intense relationship.

While I don't believe d/s relationships are more intense (or more spicey for that matter), they are the most satisfying for me personally. That is one of the main reasons I stick around.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/8/2007 2:23:35 PM >

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 3:24:17 PM

DarkDaddyZ

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~fast reply~ It has become a part of my psyche. It's become theraputic in some forms it's become a need. It's fun it's a community, it can be primal, fun and it turns me on.
I've attempted to be without it twice within the past 8 years and it just made me crave more and more miserable. It has become part of me.

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 3:28:16 PM

arayofsunshine55

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It makes me wet.

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 4:23:17 PM

adoracat

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i like the giving up of control. Sir granting me pain and denying me the right to injure his property gives me the control i need to not self-injure. Sir giving me the pain i need, helps me in time of emotional and/or physical pain, so that i feel better.

kitten

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 4:38:59 PM

SweetSarijane

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It makes me happy, I enjoy it on many levels. It's part of what makes me, me. Why wouldn't I still have it as part of my life? If it fits you, it fits you.

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 5:12:35 PM

onmykneesb4Him

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It makes my relationship so much deeper. Intimacy and trust have deepened so much. In my relationship, that would not have happened to such a degree without it.

And i'll agree with the fun and hot part too............................

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 5:29:58 PM

AFlyInYourWeb

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From a relatively early age, the best moments of my life all took place within a relationship that included bondage, discipline, and submission. Vanilla is like playing checkers; D/s is like playing chess.

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 5:46:30 PM

SunnyTawse

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Because it's me, through and through, to the core.

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 6:42:24 PM

curiouspet55

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It isn't really a choice for me. I can't ignore my submissive personality - bdsm is the easiest way to nurture it.

cp55

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 7:00:50 PM

xoxi

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BDSM isn't a part of my life. D/s however is. And the reason why is the same reason I don't date obese guys, or only date white guys, or can't date a guy who is 3 inches shorter and 30 lbs lighter than I am...

I need to be with a man who turns me on.

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 7:02:52 PM

BlackKnight

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It's what I enjoy/ think on/ not apart, but a way

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 8:23:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
Some have said that BDSM is fun but to me; that is waaaaaay too inadequate. As is your own "sustain interest" term. That's like asking how one sustains interest in the opposite sex or a need for intimacy. I'd like to think the only reason I lose interest in such things is because I'm deceased and that when I turn 110, I'll still turn my head to look at a pretty girl walking by (and wish I really were deceased.... lol).

Focus.

I think this might be an issue of language/semantics.

When a question is asked of bdsm, or when I answer in terms of bdsm I mean solely some kinky activities I like to do.

I'm not talking at all about relationships.

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 8:26:07 PM

SweetSarijane

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Same here, when it says bdsm rather than M/s, D/s, I'm thinking the physical and answer accordingly.

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 8:36:16 PM

akisha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

In another thread I asked what inspired people to enter the world of BDSM.

This thread is devoted to why you stay in the world of BDSM.

What are the current perks and rewards that sustain your interest in BDSM?

Well for starters let me state that I'm single and I don't do random partners or casual play, soo lets see...

Perks? currently None

Rewards?.... again None because being "different" makes the dating pool that much smaller. Because I'm very particular in what I want in a relationship again it makes the dating pool even smaller lol

What sustains my interest in BDSM?? It's not an interst for me, it's part of who I am. It's not like it's just a hobby i feel like dabbling in when i have the time. It is a part of my make up, my life, my being. Just because I'm not out in the clubs playing with anyone and everyone that is asking or willing, doesn't mean it's any less apart of my life. It's just a part of it that is not being fulfilled at this time because of the choices I have made.

I tried to walk away from it before and learned that it doesn't work for me, so I accept that and work with it. *S*

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 9:42:50 PM

BeachMystress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

In another thread I asked what inspired people to enter the world of BDSM.

This thread is devoted to why you stay in the world of BDSM.

I never really "entered" the world of BDSM but had what I do develop naturally with my sexuality. I "stay in it" because I can't leave.. well, not without years of personality altering psychotherapy. When you ARE your role, rather than role-playing, it isn't something you can just leave.

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 11:40:06 PM

teamnoir

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There are two questions here which sort of relate to each other.

One is about the scene - the social group which represents "bdsm" and in which the term has meaning. I stay in the community for basically the same reasons that many people belong to a church - social support, social networking.

As for why i practice bdsm, that's a more complicated issue. I practice what I practice. BDSM and the bdsm community give me a social group for support, for networking for finding partners, education, etc. If it weren't for the community, I'd probably call what I do by some other name, like shamanism or tantra. So the question of why I continue to practice "bdsm" is really a political question of labels.

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/8/2007 11:57:09 PM

taintedgypsy

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It excites me,
I enjoy it,
I find an acceptance within L/s communities that is not there for me in nilla.
There is so much still to explore, it challenges me,
The idea of returning to nilla is just not on ... however like others have said ... if starving I will eat even if it is not the preferred dish.

Oh hell its fun and I love any reason to dress up, or for that matter to take it off lol.

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 12:22:47 AM

LDRandAstarte

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Because I am sadistic to the core!

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