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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 2:11:33 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I use BDSM as a spiritual tool...and to get me hot. I find myself spending most of my time in the Master/slave community rather than the BDSM one, however.

Master Fire


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(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 2:51:21 AM   
InfernoMDM


Posts: 51
Joined: 3/20/2005
Status: offline 		I think it is hard wired into my head, is the bestway I can describe it.

(in reply to murmur)
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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 4:18:09 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
Some have said that BDSM is fun but to me; that is waaaaaay too inadequate.  As is your own "sustain interest" term.  That's like asking how one sustains interest in the opposite sex or a need for intimacy.  I'd like to think the only reason I lose interest in such things is because I'm deceased and that when I turn 110, I'll still turn my head to look at a pretty girl walking by (and wish I really were deceased.... lol).

Focus.

I think this might be an issue of language/semantics.

When a question is asked of bdsm, or when I answer in terms of bdsm I mean solely some kinky activities I like to do. 

I'm not talking at all about relationships.

Hmmm, an interesting point.
 
The term 'BDSM' has always been too broad a brush to cover my specific needs and interests in the lifestyle, so I tend to favour 'D/s'....  But when someone else poses questions using the BDSM term (such as the OP), I still presume they're speaking broadly to all of us on the Boards, esp when they don't specify.  Or, just because I mostly say D/s, I don't single out others who reply using broader BDSM analogies, because I still get the gist of their point.  So perhaps you're correct when you say "an issue of language/semantics."
 
That said, as much as I both need and enjoy the sense, order and unique dynamic our lifestyle brings to me as an individual, to say it's "fun" (while often true) is still way too inadequate for me.  It makes me think of mere kink and scening etc....  <shrugs>, more semantics, perhaps?
 
Focus.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 8:01:50 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		At GLLA 2007 Fox and I went to a wonderful workshop about powerful slaves. There were only a handful of us slave owners there as well but we were asked at one point the same question that many slaves who are powerful get asked: Why are you dominant? (in their case the word was submissive).

My response and the response of the others was this. "It is just what I am."

I can do the egalitarian thing, to a degree, look at my husband and I but even there you see I'm the more dominant person.

Frankly Ds just feels most natural to me.

Is it always easy? No but for me it is easier than vanilla.

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(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 8:31:23 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
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Status: offline 		How would I leave?

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From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 9:02:34 AM   
submittous


Posts: 345
Joined: 6/12/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouspet55

It isn't really a choice for me. I can't ignore my submissive personality - bdsm is the easiest way to nurture it.

cp55


No choice for me either. BDSM is integral to my sexuality and sexuality is still a main drive for me... I honestly think if I had a choice I would prefer to have the easier task of finding compatibility in the much larger vanilla world, but I don't because I know who and what I am.

Bill

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 9:11:36 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		ummm go back into the closet? autoerotic asphixiation gone wrong? commit yourself to a misserable vanilla life with lights off under the covers missionary sex when you can convince your wife to spread her legs?

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 10:38:21 AM   
LostMyself


Posts: 72
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Because I need it.  If I try to have a vanilla relationship, it ends up becoming controling and sometimes abusive.  Without bdsm,  there's not much achowlegement about dominant and submissive roles in a relationship, or the responsibility of the one who takes the control.  Dominants still duck that awfully frequently, but of course, people are still people.  I wouldn't be able to be with someone who wasn't dominant to me, bdsm filters that down from just every controling asshole out there.  That, and I've always been masochistic and had some kinks and fantasies.. so, here I am. 

(in reply to murmur)
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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 10:49:04 AM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		It is such a big part of me, that giving it up, would be giving up part of my spirit and part of my "identity".

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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 11:52:18 AM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

ummm go back into the closet? autoerotic asphixiation gone wrong? commit yourself to a misserable vanilla life with lights off under the covers missionary sex when you can convince your wife to spread her legs?


Yeah, but how do you cut out a part of yourself?

Abstaining from human contact is another matter, and a lot simpler.



_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to chellekitty)
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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 12:04:42 PM   
InkedMaster


Posts: 342
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Status: offline 		My personality, beliefs, convictions, My need, cravings and desire. Some people choose to exist, I choose to live. Besides who wants to fuck a box of ordinary vanilla wafers when the BEST DAMN COOKIE is sitting at your feet just begging to be eaten!

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(in reply to Aswad)
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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 12:17:47 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Why am I "still" a part of BDSM?

I imagine it's the same reason I'm "still" left handed.
The same reason my eyes are "still" blue...
Much the same reason I'm "still" sexually active, and no longer a virgin.

In some ways, you are born with this in your head... in others, it the end product of growing and evolving into it. As far as the latter goes, you don't go back to a state that is no longer satisfying. Go back to a vanilla sexuality? Now? After 20 years of meeting some of the most amazing, self-actualized people on the planet? (and being in relationships with a few of them?) You've gotta be kidding me!

If you want further proof, go back and look at arayofsunshine's pic... now THERE's a reason to be "still" into BDSM, if ever there was one! LOL

(in reply to InkedMaster)
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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 12:33:57 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

Yeah, but how do you cut out a part of yourself?

Abstaining from human contact is another matter, and a lot simpler.




well, i was attempting humor...but...i can find you a scapel if you want one, i believe i read somewhere else that you can set your mind to have a root canal without any sort of ansethesia, so go for it....


btw, that was more humor....

(in reply to Aswad)
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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 12:35:36 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
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Status: offline 		Because its a part of who i am and i have learnt there is no other way to live than being true to myself.

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RE: Why is BDRM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 12:46:07 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		I just turned 60 ekks and been in the lifestyle in some form or fashion since the age of 15,It defines my personalty, hard charging, hard living man.I would never say never but chances are slim to none that I could ever be happy in a vanilla setting or relationship...Why go back, its a life long adventure,journey,I have found my nitch and here I shall remain.....bounty

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RE: Why is BDRM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 12:48:24 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		imagines Bounty at 90 saying "now back your ass up into this paddle, NOW...faster slave!"

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)
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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 12:49:28 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		It makes me incredibly wet and turns me on more than anything else ever has.

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Why is BDRM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 12:58:43 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		That or to invent a table that will move the ol' ass faster and perhaps hold the paddle for me lol edited to add with at least 10 speeds from turtle to jet...

< Message edited by BOUNTYHUNTER -- 9/9/2007 1:01:34 PM >

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(in reply to chellekitty)
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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 1:11:33 PM   
TotalState


Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline 		Now that I've discovered that side of me, I don't particularly feel like letting it go.  It's who I am.

Like bipolarber said above, I can no more stop being dominant than I can stop being right-handed. 

And you know what?  I enjoy it.  Oh so much.


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RE: Why is BDSM still a part of your life? - 9/9/2007 3:31:26 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

well, i was attempting humor...


And I was waxing lyrical.

quote:


i can find you a scapel if you want one


Ooh... can I have more than one?

quote:


i believe i read somewhere else that you can set your mind to have a root canal without any sort of ansethesia, so go for it....


Have done so twice in a short period of time now. First time, the anaesthesia wouldn't take, so second time we just skipped it. Never said I liked it. In any case, that's slightly different from performing brain surgery on yourself, I might add. I'd be reluctant to even attempt it on someone else, what with my fine tremors and all...

quote:


btw, that was more humor....


I am laughing.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 60
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