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Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/10/2007 11:11:28 AM   
allenjj


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		I assume many of the people reading these boards enjoy humiliations – either inflicting them or being subjected to them.

Do you have any favorites?

If you enjoy inflicting them, what are your preferred methods of achieving humiliation?

If you enjoy being subjected to them, what’s your most desired humiliation, or humiliations?

Have any of you fantasized about humiliations that you want to do, but have never done, either out of fear or lack of opportunity? What are they?


Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/10/2007 11:16:35 AM   
jaxnsax


Posts: 106
Status: offline
Greetings
I am not that much into being humiliated J That is not to say that it does not happen; I just don’t get off on it.
I will admit though that I get a kick ( not in the sexual sense ) out of seeing others get humiliated. But then I am warped in that sense.
jaxon

(in reply to allenjj)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/10/2007 11:24:48 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
http://www.collarchat.com/m_557686/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#557707
Embarassment vs humiliation

http://www.collarchat.com/m_354018/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#354196
humiliation???

http://www.collarchat.com/m_412944/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#413037
what is good humiliation to you?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_426015/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#426025
humiliation vs degradation

http://www.collarchat.com/m_489256/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#489324
humiliation and vulnerability

http://www.collarchat.com/m_310209/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#310223
Humiliation- verbal and physical

http://www.collarchat.com/m_266448/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#266532
humiliation ideas

Slaves on display via webcam?

Fat Cow? Verbal humiliation (rehashed)

Humiliation and Degradation

Erotic Humiliation

Female Humiliation- in the scene

Asking for humiliation

Favorite Forms of humiliation

Humiliation

Humliation Play

Favorite forms of humiliation

Erotic Humiliation and Objectification

Why such problems with humiliation?

Fun ideas for humiliation

Humiliation (2)

Verbal Humiliation

Help with humiliation please!

Your thoughts on humiliation please

Questions about humiliation


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to allenjj)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/10/2007 11:25:00 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		i always have a really hard time with humiliation .. i have a rhino hide when it comes to being made to feel small or uncertain .. (occupational hazard) and when i get my vulnerable buttons pushed i tend to go on the offensive

have only ever had one time where i was actually through the floor humiliated in play .. i was a cringing ball of shame at his feet .. and it was so intense i cant even recall how he got me there 

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to jaxnsax)
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RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/10/2007 11:34:33 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I am a huge fan of humiliation play. One of the reasons why I enjoy it is that the many things done in the realm of humiliation play are so mental and personal that for me they become very strong reminders of my place in our relationship and it is that feeling of power exercised over me that is my main fetish.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/10/2007 11:52:14 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allenjj

I assume many of the people reading these boards enjoy humiliations – either inflicting them or being subjected to them.

Do you have any favorites?


Yes, I do. 

quote:

If you enjoy inflicting them, what are your preferred methods of achieving humiliation?


That is a very subjective thing.  What makes one submissive feel deep, intense humiliation of the sort that makes her soaked or brings out a deeper level of submission or, as toservez puts it, emphasizes the dynamic could be the same thing that another submissive sees as degradation and, therefore, inappropriate.

If you enjoy being subjected to them, what’s your most desired humiliation, or humiliations?

Have any of you fantasized about humiliations that you want to do, but have never done, either out of fear or lack of opportunity? What are they?


I would love to do watersports with a submissive who found it humiliating/exciting in both the sexually arousing manner and as an emphatic reminder of the D/s dynamic.  There are others but I will leave those be for now...

(in reply to allenjj)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/10/2007 12:20:25 PM   
submittous


Posts: 345
Joined: 6/12/2004
Status: offline 		For me as a Dom, the effect and enoyment from humliation comes from the slave, not my preconcieved ideas of what will be humliating to her. I require open and completely honest journalling on a daily basis to have insight into what and when will be the right times and activities to pursue radical humiliation.

I don't think it is gonna work to get some strangers ideas for humiation and applie them to yourself... You have to do your own homework and honest introspecion

Bill

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"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it." John Irving

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/10/2007 1:06:18 PM   
Dom87110


Posts: 102
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline 		I do not employ any one method to humiliate (in that, it is much like I perform punishment).

Humiliation and punishment are extremely subjective for the recipient and therefore need to be customized to the recipient's propensities, weaknesses, self-awareness, history, phobias, fears and negotiable limits. One course of umiliation that may work for one girl that will make her want to hide in a hole, will leave another entirely unphased.

_____________________________

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde


That's not what I meant by "where the sun don't shine". But it looks good there, too.

Me

(in reply to allenjj)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/10/2007 1:21:18 PM   
jssubc


Posts: 46
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

for me they become very strong reminders of my place in our relationship and it is that feeling of power exercised over me that is my main fetish.


Wish i could have phrased it that eloquently. i admit that i am addicted to humiliation. There are many acts that i dislike (golden showers come to mind) but really excite me in a humiliation/power exchange.
Having my "place" demonstrated to me is an incredible turn on.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/11/2007 9:25:58 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jssubc

quote:

for me they become very strong reminders of my place in our relationship and it is that feeling of power exercised over me that is my main fetish.


Wish i could have phrased it that eloquently. i admit that i am addicted to humiliation. There are many acts that i dislike (golden showers come to mind) but really excite me in a humiliation/power exchange.
Having my "place" demonstrated to me is an incredible turn on.



I'm with you both. My humiliation stems from being coerced into an activity or position that I would normally dislike, and it's exciting as a manifestation of her control over me. It's a reminder and a display of her power, and my helplessness.

It also creates a kind of feedback loop. The awareness that I'm being erotically excited by something I don't like makes it even more humiliating than the act itself. That intensifies my excitement, and reinforces her control, which is what excites me most in the first place. Whew!

(in reply to jssubc)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/11/2007 10:54:01 AM   
AFlyInYourWeb


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jssubc

quote:

for me they become very strong reminders of my place in our relationship and it is that feeling of power exercised over me that is my main fetish.


Wish i could have phrased it that eloquently. i admit that i am addicted to humiliation. There are many acts that i dislike (golden showers come to mind) but really excite me in a humiliation/power exchange.
Having my "place" demonstrated to me is an incredible turn on.



Well put...both posts.  I couldn't agree more, or say it better. 

(in reply to jssubc)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/11/2007 10:57:01 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		It really depends entirely on the makeup needs and issues of those involved.

And no, I'm not going to provide you with wank fodder.

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I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to allenjj)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/11/2007 11:16:26 AM   
ChicagoSwitchMal


Posts: 417
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		I enjoy both humiliating and being humiliated depending on what 'zone' I'm in. How I humiliate is really relationship dependant and I get my clues as to what works for her from her.

As far as being humiliated - it's very specific. I like to be laughed at and ridiculed while I masturbate for masturbating. That's only happened a few times in my life but it was quite intense each time.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/11/2007 2:07:37 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Reposting two things I wrote on Humiliation in previous threads:

One must be very careful when introducing this kind of activity to a submissive/slave, as degradation does have the potential to be very damaging.  Not everyone can participate.  The nerves that are struck are very raw and run very deep.  I think this is why others have such a difficult time viewing and understanding humiliation - they can only relate to it with a personal reference.  Playing with ones emotions is tricky and delicate, with lots of room for grave error.  A submissive must really trust his/her dominant and must have a solid sense of self confidence and self esteem before traveling too far down that path.  It is not for everyone.


And


Humiliation exposes me to my core, stripping down all walls and barriers. The pain draws me even closer to him. Debasement rips me open and leaves me raw, and portrays an honesty between us that is undefineable. It makes me grovel, and crave, and plead, and cling. And my love and need ever grows.
 
 
As for specific activities, those are for my Master and I to explore.  I can't think of any activity in this category which I won't do for him, and he has presented some extreme ones.

(in reply to allenjj)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/11/2007 2:41:44 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		The only valid way I can see of doing this is with the express idea of increasing the depth of acceptance partners have for each other. There really is a lot of trust involved with letting someone play with your head this way............it takes a lot of story telling and understanding to make it flow-rather than shatter.

In short-it's a poor choice for those who's kink is brute force-finesse will make it far more successful.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/11/2007 2:52:47 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

The only valid way I can see of doing this is with the express idea of increasing the depth of acceptance partners have for each other. There really is a lot of trust involved with letting someone play with your head this way............it takes a lot of story telling and understanding to make it flow-rather than shatter.



I couldn't agree with this post more, especially the part I highlighted.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/11/2007 2:58:04 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

The only valid way I can see of doing this is with the express idea of increasing the depth of acceptance partners have for each other. There really is a lot of trust involved with letting someone play with your head this way............it takes a lot of story telling and understanding to make it flow-rather than shatter.

In short-it's a poor choice for those who's kink is brute force-finesse will make it far more successful.


Sorry but this is a to each their own thing and just because you do not enjoy it or know/heard people who cannot handle it does not go into a “should only be done” or “look out this is dangerous” type distinction. Sorry but this plays into projecting worse case scenarios and personal images of play. This play is no different then others and is based on both people being able to handle it and knowing themselves.

Of course this play is not for everyone and has risk. EVERY type of play is not for everyone and has risk. Why is it that people in this life can talk about giving and inflicting physical pain without these types of judgments clogging up the works. After all, there are huge mental issues at work in that type of play as well.

Sorry it can be to learn but it can also be just great fun, just like all the kinks discussed on here!


< Message edited by toservez -- 9/11/2007 2:59:31 PM >

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/11/2007 3:00:36 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez


quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

The only valid way I can see of doing this is with the express idea of increasing the depth of acceptance partners have for each other. There really is a lot of trust involved with letting someone play with your head this way............it takes a lot of story telling and understanding to make it flow-rather than shatter.

In short-it's a poor choice for those who's kink is brute force-finesse will make it far more successful.


Sorry but this is a to each their own thing and just because you do not enjoy it or know/heard people who cannot handle it does not go into a “should only be done” or “look out this is dangerous” type distinction. Sorry but this plays into projecting worse case scenarios and personal images of play. This play is no different then others and is based on both people being able to handle it and knowing themselves.

Of course this play is not for everyone and has risk. EVERY type of play is not for everyone and has risk. Why is it that people in this life can talk about giving and inflicting physical pain without these types of judgments clogging up the works. After all, there are huge mental issues at work in that type of play as well.

Sorry it can be to learn but it can also be just great fun, just like all the kninks discussed on here!



I agree. It's the same as with most casual bottoming - if you bottom casually, just know that YOU have to do your own aftercare. If you top casually just know that YOU 1. have to do your own and 2. can't do the other person's so if you're going to worry about them it may not work well for you.

If you're up for it, go for it, have fun. Know yourself and you should be OK.



(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/11/2007 3:05:21 PM   
Helios001


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		I have mixed opinions on humiliation.

I'm not one to be too "out there" when it comes to my fetishes, and even when it comes to the grind, I prefer to be a bit tamer than others might be.

I think that instead of "humiliation" I'd prefer to use "shame."

(in reply to Grlwithboy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Thoughts on Humiliation - 9/11/2007 3:20:48 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez
Of course this play is not for everyone and has risk. EVERY type of play is not for everyone and has risk. Why is it that people in this life can talk about giving and inflicting physical pain without these types of judgments clogging up the works. After all, there are huge mental issues at work in that type of play as well.

Sorry it can be to learn but it can also be just great fun, just like all the kinks discussed on here!



I didn't really see a negative judgment in that post, actually.  I saw a concern that humiliation could cause emotional damage if not handled correctly.  I'm usually not one to where a Safety Police cap, either, but I guess having been mishandled in the past with this activity has made me particularly sensitive to it.  Perhaps because of my own past issues I'm incorrectly biased in thinking there is a greater risk at fucking up someone's head by telling them what a skank pig they are, than by hitting them with a paddle.  In sincere honesty, I had not considered it.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 20
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