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RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 6:22:48 AM   
Divals


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline 		I can't really say this as an absolute statement since I'm still in college and unemployed, but when/if I ever have a slave or sub, in regards to her employment... I'd want her to do whichever made her happiest. I'm probably going to be making enough to support both of us, and I'm coming out of school with no debt, so I'm a little better off than my parents who kept paying student loans off until they were in their late forties...

=Divals

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 6:23:13 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I don't see how it is possible anyone can be a slave in the bdsm sense AND hold a full time job outside the home with any sort of sanity. 

What kind of man needs to mooch off of a gal's income anyways? If you own a slave you should be able to carry all of her expenses for cripes sakes.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 6:31:57 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		I dont see how its possible for anyone to stay at home all day with no interaction outside the home with any sort of sanity....at least it hasnt worked for me....but maybe thats just me.....

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 8:31:05 AM   
EclipseAbove


Posts: 220
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I don't see how it is possible anyone can be a slave in the bdsm sense AND hold a full time job outside the home with any sort of sanity. 

What kind of man needs to mooch off of a gal's income anyways? If you own a slave you should be able to carry all of her expenses for cripes sakes.

Not sure how I can get you to see how it is possible, but it is.  My slave not only holds a full time job, but is also the only income for the household.  Balancing work life and home life isn't any easier or more difficult just because there is a power dynamic at home.  She is actually more sane, complete and happy than when she stayed home all the time with no job.

If deciding that the person with the best wage earning potential should go to work and that the person who felt deeply that they wanted a career should be able to persue that career makes me a moocher, then I never want to be anything else.  Seriously, what kind of man would sacrifice his happiness, his slave's happiness and the household's financial potential just to avoid be labeled a moocher?

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 8:49:12 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

I dont see how its possible for anyone to stay at home all day with no interaction outside the home with any sort of sanity....at least it hasnt worked for me....but maybe thats just me.....


That is always been my biggest fear and my former Master's point. He also did not want to come home to a slave that now is depending on a lot of her mental stimulation for the day to be thrust on him. He could care less that things were not always spotless or other small things.

To each their own and their own priorities.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 8:54:30 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Need I mention the term IMO means just that.

If I think that men should be the breadwinners despite a girl's education, I will think so.  To me, a MAN should be MORE educated, MORE functional. 

Quite frankly, if I bring in the money I am qualified to make, I am waaaaaay better off single and giving that cash to my kids and friends before I would consider some guy sitting at home all day being a mooch. Real men, IMO, have powerful jobs, are highly educated, have good work and life ethics and make sure a home and a woman are well cared for.  If not, I consider that man a failure. The 'behind every great man..." philosophy. 

If you disagree, fine.  No one is going to change my lifetime preferance of my ideal of a 'real man'. 

(in reply to EclipseAbove)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 8:55:12 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I don't see how it is possible anyone can be a slave in the bdsm sense AND hold a full time job outside the home with any sort of sanity. 

Very simple. Valyraen orders that I work. Right now I'm working at college to make sure that I can work and provide income as well. There is no set way to be a slave. There isn't a rule that says every slave has to do all the chores. I do most of them, but Valyraen does some because he wants me to be able to work and still have a reasonable amount of down-time.

quote:


What kind of man needs to mooch off of a gal's income anyways? If you own a slave you should be able to carry all of her expenses for cripes sakes.


How is a woman providing extra income to the household mooching? If I go out and work as well as Valyraen, we get take a nicer vacation or have nicer play toys. He isn't the only one who benfits. Besides, I'm not the kind of woman who mooches off a man anyway. I'd prefer to be a stay-at-home mom, but I'm not doing that until we actually have kids to raise.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/12/2007 9:02:38 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 8:58:49 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

Need I mention the term IMO means just that.

If I think that men should be the breadwinners despite a girl's education, I will think so.  To me, a MAN should be MORE educated, MORE functional. 

Quite frankly, if I bring in the money I am qualified to make, I am waaaaaay better off single and giving that cash to my kids and friends before I would consider some guy sitting at home all day being a mooch. Real men, IMO, have powerful jobs, are highly educated, have good work and life ethics and make sure a home and a woman are well cared for.  If not, I consider that man a failure. The 'behind every great man..." philosophy. 

If you disagree, fine.  No one is going to change my lifetime preferance of my ideal of a 'real man'. 


So basically only CEOs are real men.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 9:04:08 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

How is a woman providing extra income to the household mooching? If I go out and work as well as Valyraen, we get take a nicer vacation or have nicer play toys. He isn't the only who benfits. Besides, I'm not the kind of woman who mooches off a man anyway. I'd prefer to be a stay-at-home mom, but I'm not doing that until we actually have kids to raise.


Money is great and good idea to have a good nest egg before having lil ones (because it won't last long lol).

My point was, in that being both, a worker bee for society PLUS being a slave at home, is impossible.  We are all slaves (especially to kids), laundry, baking, etc etc... How you 'spread it around' would effect the slavery dynamic.  How much deeper to the Master/slave relationship would you be in IF you did not work at all?  Would that unsettle you?  Would you go insane sitting at home as Ghita suggested?  How much of slavery is for your benefit or decision?  So again, back to the topic of 'actual' slave-time participation. sigh.  I don't believe you can be both (working outside the home plus a slave at home) and expect one to be giving 100% percent or even close to it. The only true slave in the work environment is a whore.  She works as a slave to her pimp.  It is not what she does, it is that she has on her mind that she is to please him (even if out of fear). Any ideas that slavery is 'bliss' goes about any nature that the term itself implies.  A good perceptive slave, does not require 'happiness'.  Slave implies a general relief that a Master is gratified...until the next time.

< Message edited by came4U -- 9/12/2007 9:06:08 AM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 9:12:41 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

Money is great and good idea to have a good nest egg before having lil ones (because it won't last long lol).

My point was, in that being both, a worker bee for society PLUS being a slave at home, is impossible. 

I see it done. Your absolute statement is simply incorrect. You may not be capable of achieving it but I know slaves who are.
quote:


We are all slaves (especially to kids), laundry, baking, etc etc... How you 'spread it around' would effect the slavery dynamic.  How much deeper to the Master/slave relationship would you be in IF you did not work at all?  Would that unsettle you? 

How would it make me deeper? I serve by staying home, I serve by working. Either way I'm serving.
quote:


Would you go insane sitting at home as Ghita suggested?

Probably not. But I wouldn't stay at home. Once chores were done, I'd be out at the dojo or doing reenactments.
quote:


How much of slavery is for your benefit or decision? 

I don't pretend to be a matyr. I am a slave/sub because it suits me. Otherwise I wouldn't bother.
quote:


So again, back to the topic of 'actual' slave-time participation. sigh.  I don't believe you can be both (working outside the home plus a slave at home) and expect one to be giving 100% percent or even close to it. The only true slave in the work environment is a whore.  She works as a slave to her pimp.  It is not what she does, it is that she has on her mind that she is to please him (even if out of fear). Any ideas that slavery is 'bliss' goes about any nature that the term itself implies.  Slave, in itself, does not mean 'happiness'.  Slave implies a general relief that a Master is gratified...until the next time.

Yes. That master is gratified. And Valyraen is gratified by me working. Slavery does not mean bliss but it does not mean matyr either. I do what pleases Valyraen. If that means I work, than I work. Right now, Valyraen is gratified by me being a college student and bettering my mind. Later he will be gratified by my working and bringing in extra income so that we can have nicer things, better vacations and have a nest egg for the children we plan to have.



_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 9:17:56 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I have nooooo idea what a Valyraen is.

That is why your idea of a slave is varied.  Your idea of a slave is that she is self-empowered and a temporary caregiver to another.  My idea of a slave is that she is a constant.

No one ever has the same fashions or beliefs.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 9:22:50 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I have nooooo idea what a Valyraen is.

Valyraen is not a what, but a who. Valyraen is my owner and sometimes posts on the boards by that name.
quote:


That is why your idea of a slave is varied.  Your idea of a slave is that she is self-empowered and a temporary caregiver to another.  My idea of a slave is that she is a constant.

Yes, my idea of a slave is varied because I have been to munches and parties and seen many different types of very successful master/slave relationships. These women are constant. They obey. Some work and some stay at home.

My idea of a slave is not one set thing. She is what she is and each woman is different. I certainly would never define slave as "temporary caregiver to another". My personal defination of a slave is someone who agrees to be the slave of *insert name* and agrees to obey. It does not matter if her owner wants her in rags or diamond encrusted ball gowns, working or resting by the pool. She obeys.
quote:


No one ever has the same fashions or beliefs.


Of course.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/12/2007 9:24:26 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 9:33:21 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Oohhh lol der me, I have never seen that name/nik before. Sorry bout that.

Yes, all suggestions of what a slave should be are so different.  I guess my thoughts are that she/he is in stricter guidelines as far as social and mental agility.  The ability to sway back and forth in differnt situations would be almost impossible to a slave of deep-giving capacity.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 9:37:00 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

The ability to sway back and forth in differnt situations would be almost impossible to a slave of deep-giving capacity.


I still disagree because I have seen it done. I don't see it as swinging back and forth. I am not Kitten when Valyraen is around, Aqua with my friends and Ms. Aqua at the dojo with all those being different people.

I am only Aqua. I am a slave, a pet, a student, a friend, a daughter, a teacher, a girlfriend, a future wife (it's looking like) and always a shoulder to lean on when a friend needs me. These roles don't involve any swinging around in different situations because they are all me.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 9:47:09 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

I am only Aqua. I am a slave, a pet, a student, a friend, a daughter, a teacher, a girlfriend, a future wife (it's looking like) and always a shoulder to lean on when a friend needs me.


That is the difference.  To me, a slave lives a thrives only for her master, putting all else behind her and away from her in order to serve in all physical and mental aspects. Even if that service is in her mind as a constant, with every thought.  But that is just MO.  If you can be all to everyone, do just that, but how much do you give yourself? your partner? How much is shared of yourself before you go beyond the realm?  What is the limit?  If you give some to personal relationships, occupation (s)? if your boundaries become narrower, do you become bitter? Would you become angry? Would you become less of a person in becoming more of a slave? What is the depth some would go to?

***not 'you, you', personally, these are  hypothetical questions Aqua.



< Message edited by came4U -- 9/12/2007 9:50:23 AM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 9:53:15 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		My opinion is this, whatever works for the people involved in the relationship. In mine I want him to work at least part time. A person can only do so many household tasks before they need a break from the routine. Mental stimulation is always a good thing.
Also if something happened to me, he would need to have a job in order to take care of himself. So yes mine will keep working.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to kshearsecouple)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 9:56:29 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

If you can be all to everyone, do just that, but how much do you give yourself?

What I need to be happy and healthy - as per Valyraen's orders.
quote:


your partner?

Everything I can. Even by attending to other things I obey him. He has no interest in a woman whose only life is him. He has been down that route. He found it boring. It works for some but not for all.
quote:


How much is shared of yourself before you go beyond the realm?  What is the limit?

As long as I continue to receive love and support, I don't know if there is a limit. Obviously there are only so many hours in a day, but I find it usually easy to serve him as he desires as well as be involved in martial arts and a full-time student with a social life. It's busy certainly, but I'm not spread thin yet. I hope to add historical reenacting to the list soon. If I can just get them to e-mail me back... *Grumbles*
quote:


If you give all personal relationships, occupation (s) and your boundaries are narrower, do you become bitter?

Only if I'm doing all the giving.
quote:


Would you become angry?

About what?
quote:


Would you become less of a person or more of a slave?

I believe slaves are people and that you don't become more of one while becoming less of the other. I will only become less of a slave if I stop obeying.

Valyraen fell in love with an indepent woman who had her own dreams and passions. As I said, he has done the whole "a woman who makes him her world" thing. He found it boring and got tired of having to provide the entertainment and mental stimulation. He prefers having a woman with her own hobbies and friends and who goes off on her own sometimes. By doing these things, I continue to serve and please.

There are so many ways to please. Some have a wonderful master/slave dynamic where the slave stays at home all day. Others have a wonderful master/slave dynamic where the slave goes out and works. I can not be convinced that is somehow "deeper" than the other because in both cases the slave is doing exactly what they agreed to do: obey and please.
quote:


***not 'you, you', personally, these are  hypothetical questions Aqua.

Of course, but I can only answer them from my point of view.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/12/2007 9:58:05 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 10:05:10 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		ok, I gottcha now.

Everyone is sooo varied.  I suppose I see (this) lifestyle slavery as very different than most. I see it in a tunnel vision that only a Master is priority above all, even the sense of self.  That must mean that I see the Master himself in a different light to want this.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 10:08:12 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

...I suppose I see (this) lifestyle slavery as very different than most. I see it in a tunnel vision that only a Master is priority above all, even the sense of self...



you are not alone.

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 10:13:06 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

you are not alone.


yesss, lol, yesss dears, I AM!!
haha

(actually enjoying singlehood for now).

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 40
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