Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: I'm interested in your opinions


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: I'm interested in your opinions Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 11:37:23 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

ok, I gottcha now.

Everyone is sooo varied.  I suppose I see (this) lifestyle slavery as very different than most. I see it in a tunnel vision that only a Master is priority above all, even the sense of self.  That must mean that I see the Master himself in a different light to want this.


I just seeing it as meaning you are suited to a different type of master and relationship style. Nothing better or worse, just different. And there are definately people out there who enjoy the same thing!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 11:44:55 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I am not saying I have or will enjoy it.

I prefer it to be called a dutiful safety in my case, not enjoyment.  In my ideal lifetime I would enjoy to be an author and famous doctor of the sciences, yet I would give it all up to be a slave (and all the misery that comes with it). 

The very act of duty to a man is arousing. The pride in accomplishment of pleasing him, making him a better and more productive being. That in itself cannot be me 'acting' either.  I cannot be both.  If I work hard and contribute via an outside life/occupation, I could NOT be a 100% slave to my man.  To say so, I would be a fraud.

< Message edited by came4U -- 9/12/2007 11:47:39 AM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 11:47:08 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I am not saying I have or will enjoy it.

I prefer it to be called a dutiful safety in my case, not enjoyment.  In my ideal lifetime I would enjoy to be an author and famous doctor of the sciences, yet I would give it all up to be a slave (and all the misery that comes with it). 

The very act of duty to a man is arousing.  That act cannot be 'acting' either.  I cannot be both.  If I work hard and contribute via an outside life/occupation, I could NOT be a 100% slave to my man.  To say so, I would be a fraud.


Unless you worked for him in his business. Don't shut yourself into a tiny box of preconception.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 11:50:51 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Unless you worked for him in his business. Don't shut yourself into a tiny box of preconception.


hiyaa RRafe:

Well, at the time I was a slave, I was a wife of a Marine.  So, I only have my one box to compare LOL.

But, if a man did own his own business, I would think I would do every deed for the good and betterment of HIM and then/thus, myself.  My actions, reactions and decisions would be his.  I would be his third arm, his second head, with only one heart beating for the both of us.

< Message edited by came4U -- 9/12/2007 11:52:27 AM >

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 12:03:11 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

Unless you worked for him in his business. Don't shut yourself into a tiny box of preconception.


hiyaa RRafe:

Well, at the time I was a slave, I was a wife of a Marine.  So, I only have my one box to compare LOL.

But, if a man did own his own business, I would think I would do every deed for the good and betterment of HIM and then/thus, myself.  My actions, reactions and decisions would be his.  I would be his third arm, his second head, with only one heart beating for the both of us.


Good. Then you can see that there are variances to your origional feelings. However-one of the best things a second hand can do is to be a reality check-respectfully. If you see something and he does not-it should be brought up for consideration. He still has the choice as to use it or no-but to fail to do so out of feeling of a "role" does you both a disservice.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 12:13:32 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I was a slave, not a doormat that couldn't remind him of common sense. I took the consequences (if any) accordingly.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 12:18:39 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I was a slave, not a doormat that couldn't remind him of common sense. I took the consequences (if any) accordingly.


Yanno, I never really see anyone as a role. We just do what we do. It's an interaction of desires and natures. If we have to use some sort of silly structure and ritual to prop it all up-we aren't. My way of working this is very zen. I don't want to have to think about it-I don't want to have to be the enforcer, or a chest beater.

It's too draining. If it doesn't flow-it's a dry well-and I won't be there.

< Message edited by RRafe -- 9/12/2007 12:19:22 PM >

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 12:47:29 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I did not know I was a slave at the time.  I just thought I was being normal. Yet, the other women, marine wives of the tupperware club didn't understand that I spit shined boots.  I asked in awe 'you mean to tell me that you don't iron and spitshine???" like THEY were the aliens. I thought THEY were unfit wives.  They did not serve drinks with fresh ice as soon as he put it down (the old dump used ice and re-ice the glass thing). All the bit and little things, I did them.

I don't question my abilities, especially since my slavery was before this lifestyle was even considered 'cool' to some.  I was not a lifestyle junkee slave, I was property.  Do not belittle my situation by comparing me to some net-subby.

< Message edited by came4U -- 9/12/2007 12:49:21 PM >

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 12:51:09 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Where did net-subbys come into this?

I got say though.. Valyraen would fuss at me for wasting if I dumped the old ice. It's still good. The new ice isn't any colder, just bigger.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 12:56:52 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Clean/new glass, fresh ice, fresh drink. Dems da rules lol. (it was like being at a bar, except you get the remote).

Some men are picky about different things, some men make sure there is 20lbs of ice in the freezer for just this kind of situation lol.

< Message edited by came4U -- 9/12/2007 12:57:44 PM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 12:59:22 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

Clean/new glass, fresh ice, fresh drink. Dems da rules lol. (it was like being at a bar, except you get the remote).

Some men are picky about different things, some men make sure there is 20lbs of ice in the freezer for just this kind of situation lol.


That would just be seen as a huge of time, energy and water in this house. You do in a bar for health code regulations. I'd do it if Valyraen wanted but if it's not practical it's not allowed (with my shoes being one of the few exceptions). His rule.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 1:01:17 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I did not know I was a slave at the time.  I just thought I was being normal. Yet, the other women, marine wives of the tupperware club didn't understand that I spit shined boots.  I asked in awe 'you mean to tell me that you don't iron and spitshine???" like THEY were the aliens. I thought THEY were unfit wives.  They did not serve drinks with fresh ice as soon as he put it down (the old dump used ice and re-ice the glass thing). All the bit and little things, I did them.

I don't question my abilities, especially since my slavery was before this lifestyle was even considered 'cool' to some.  I was not a lifestyle junkee slave, I was property.  Do not belittle my situation by comparing me to some net-subby.


Here's my point. I would never get along with someone like you-we'd not be at all compatable. Because a woman who could get into the groove with me would not be labeling herself-or even thinking about it. It would be foreign to her nature-she would just act on it.

There are chest beaters on both sides of the slash-I'm not into that.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 1:08:45 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Here's my point. I would never get along with someone like you-we'd not be at all compatable. Because a woman who could get into the groove with me would not be labeling herself-or even thinking about it. It would be foreign to her nature-she would just act on it.


I did not label myself until long AFTER it was over. The closest to any description would be that I was a slave.  To some, I might be less of one, to others, more.  I just did those things, first request.  I was younger, I was under the distict feeling that was good and normal.  I did not question it...intially. A good wife (to some) might be someone who mops once per week, another might be one who polishes baseboards weekly.  That is not up to me to decide, nor you, since I do not know you.




(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 1:11:21 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kshearsecouple
I want to know from the board in your opinions should the Primary couple/Master/Mistress make a certain amount of money to even consider taking on a 24/7 slave/sub? I understand the concepts of being stable and not bringing on a third party casue you can't make the bills. I also undestand every situation is diffrent, but from the money aspect of things should there a set amount brought into the home?


I typically see the finicial aspect of taking on a slave as similar to taking on another type of pet, such as a dog; this is to say, don't do it unless you can afford it and will continue to be able to.

Of course, one can have a slave work.  Making ends meet, at this point, would be a case specific.  If the slave is a professional, and is to work, then this slave can provide for her end of the finiances, or even help with the Owners'.

I typically consider it to be poor form for an Owner to rely on a sub or slave for finicial support.  Still, I suppose this doesn't mean it can't be done.

Personally, I plan to be finicially stable enough to support myself and any that I choose to take on, whether they be BDSM-slaves, pet animals, children via birth or adoption, or anyone else in such a condition, on my own finances comfortably.  Since the Master rules the slave, it is his responsibility ensure fiscal concerns are adequately addressed.

(in reply to kshearsecouple)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 1:30:33 PM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

Unless you worked for him in his business. Don't shut yourself into a tiny box of preconception.


hiyaa RRafe:

Well, at the time I was a slave, I was a wife of a Marine.  So, I only have my one box to compare LOL.

But, if a man did own his own business, I would think I would do every deed for the good and betterment of HIM and then/thus, myself.  My actions, reactions and decisions would be his.  I would be his third arm, his second head, with only one heart beating for the both of us.


responding to bolded text:

If you truly think this way...that everything you do is for him, then it wouldnt matter if you were sitting at home washing dishes and dusting the knickknacks, or at a 9-5 job pushing papers around a desk, or driving a wrecker across town changing tires for little old ladies....you are still a slave...and to say that you physically cant be a slave while working makes no sense to me. I dont stop being a slave just because I punch a card into a time clock. He tells me to do my best at work, so therefore everything I do at work...is still an extension of my service to him. Right now, I dont have a "job" as in I dont have a certain time to report to work anywhere, I dont answer to anyone but Him and I dont collect a weekly paycheck, but I did for a long time...and as the wife of another Marine, and someOne who makes plent even in his civilian job to support himself, me and 4 UMs, Ive never HAD to work.....I do however take odd jobs here and there on my own now, even though I quit my regular "punch in on a time clock job" to stay home with babies. I occasionally build furniture, right before War every year I am extreamly busy sewing garb for lots of people, and I do the odd construction job if someone really offers me the right amount of money....I work not to support my Sir and his family, but to stimulate myself mentally...and yea, having extra cash to buy nice clothes and keep my nails pretty and other stuff is nice too. My Sir knows that if I do nothing but sit in this house for months on end seeing no one but him and UMs, I go crazy...and he'd rather me spend several hours out of the house each day and give up on every single knick knack being dusted every day.....because he'd rather have a happy healthy slave than a depressed lunatic....Does he "require" me to work? Hell no...he does "require" me to explore my own hobbies (which are construction and re-enactment stuff and martial arts)..and when those hobbies occasionally bring me in some extra cash....neither of us are going to complain!

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 2:53:02 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

Unless you worked for him in his business. Don't shut yourself into a tiny box of preconception.


hiyaa RRafe:

Well, at the time I was a slave, I was a wife of a Marine.  So, I only have my one box to compare LOL.

But, if a man did own his own business, I would think I would do every deed for the good and betterment of HIM and then/thus, myself.  My actions, reactions and decisions would be his.  I would be his third arm, his second head, with only one heart beating for the both of us.


responding to bolded text:

If you truly think this way...that everything you do is for him, then it wouldnt matter if you were sitting at home washing dishes and dusting the knickknacks, or at a 9-5 job pushing papers around a desk, or driving a wrecker across town changing tires for little old ladies....you are still a slave...and to say that you physically cant be a slave while working makes no sense to me. I dont stop being a slave just because I punch a card into a time clock. He tells me to do my best at work, so therefore everything I do at work...is still an extension of my service to him. Right now, I dont have a "job" as in I dont have a certain time to report to work anywhere, I dont answer to anyone but Him and I dont collect a weekly paycheck, but I did for a long time...and as the wife of another Marine, and someOne who makes plent even in his civilian job to support himself, me and 4 UMs, Ive never HAD to work.....I do however take odd jobs here and there on my own now, even though I quit my regular "punch in on a time clock job" to stay home with babies. I occasionally build furniture, right before War every year I am extreamly busy sewing garb for lots of people, and I do the odd construction job if someone really offers me the right amount of money....I work not to support my Sir and his family, but to stimulate myself mentally...and yea, having extra cash to buy nice clothes and keep my nails pretty and other stuff is nice too. My Sir knows that if I do nothing but sit in this house for months on end seeing no one but him and UMs, I go crazy...and he'd rather me spend several hours out of the house each day and give up on every single knick knack being dusted every day.....because he'd rather have a happy healthy slave than a depressed lunatic....Does he "require" me to work? Hell no...he does "require" me to explore my own hobbies (which are construction and re-enactment stuff and martial arts)..and when those hobbies occasionally bring me in some extra cash....neither of us are going to complain!



hmmm...Ghita, both your and came4U's responses on this thread have caused me to take a moment and contemplate (and sometimes even question) some of the realities of my own relationship, reinforcing some old ideas and sparking some new realizations...for that i thank you both, for the food for thought.

you mentioned your Master requiring you to explore your own hobbies and interests...for you and your relationship this is a healthy, productive and happy thing. but i can relate more to came4u where she mentions the Master being a slave's top priority, above any and everything else, including self. me being healthy and happy, while ideal, is certainly not my Master's top priority, and not something he would even consider appropriate for me to concern myself with. more important than my being healthy and happy is being a good slave and servant to him, after all, that is my life's purpose now.

my life very much revolves around my Master. i'm home all day most days, i clean, organize, cook, meditate, exercise, serve others, and complete whatever other tasks he has set out for me for the day. i'm not permitted to leave the house alone (in fact am locked in most of the time), can't make phone calls without permission, don't have any real life friends outside of him, have little contact or communication with family, can't drive or do anything really which would involve functioning independently in the outside world. He filters my online communication, and tightly restricts all real world interaction. so everything i experience in life, is very much through him. i never have any big surprises to tell him about my day, i never have to mentally shift from career or mommy mode to slave mode and back again. for some this would be a stifling and limiting existence, for me it's an environment which gives me the ability to be the sort of slave he wants and needs and maintain the proper mindset. in order for me to be able to ALWAYS put him above all else, i cannot work for someone else (serve another Master, as Merc puts it), or have a gaggle of friends, or be a maternal figure to his son, or even have many outside hobbies.

sometimes tho even he will admit it can be a bit of a strain...because he is literally my EVERYthing, sometimes there is just too much i want to share/feel/do with him and i'll start to drive him crazy. at those moments he has to put me in isolation for a bit, where i'm to remind myself to always strive for selflessness and be mindful of my place. but he would rather have to deal with those momentary bumps than deal with the alternative...a slave that didn't suit his needs. and that's really what it all boils down to...finding and maintaining the dynamic that suits your needs, whatever those may be.



(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 3:12:41 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Yup,  people should be responcible for their own debt, unless they went into debt loaning someone money, then the loan recipent is responcible for paying off all the debt, or paying the person back for them paying.
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo


You just proved my point.

Finances change. People go in and out of debt, the degree of debt varies. Shouldn't each adult be responsible for her own debt acquired before a relationship? Shouldn't part of being in a relationship involve at least discussion of any future debt acquired? And if not, why should the one not consulted or in agreement be held responsible for said debt? (If you are married there are legal reasons of course)

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 7:03:14 PM   
leatherette


Posts: 255
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
I cannot be both.  If I work hard and contribute via an outside life/occupation, I could NOT be a 100% slave to my man. 


Wouldn't you be boring?  
You can't hide behind him and you need a self to be.  How could you be 100% if  you are not you?
"Slave? Ohh slave... I don't see youuu?
 
But, of course, JMHO


(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 7:11:27 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leatherette

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
I cannot be both.  If I work hard and contribute via an outside life/occupation, I could NOT be a 100% slave to my man. 


Wouldn't you be boring?  
You can't hide behind him and you need a self to be.  How could you be 100% if  you are not you?
"Slave? Ohh slave... I don't see youuu?
 
But, of course, JMHO




I always thought a master set the bounds for the slave-not the other way round.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to leatherette)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/13/2007 1:16:05 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Ghita,
quote:

I dont stop being a slave just because I punch a card into a time clock. He tells me to do my best at work, so therefore everything I do at work...is still an extension of my service to him.


If I were in that situation, I personally couldn't be on the 'outside' for 8 hours and return to submission so quickly.  In fact, I began working (outside the home) later in the marriage
and it was one major cause of our breakup.  The outside influences, learning that what I was living 'wasn't normal' to others, how it contradicted and constricted my education etc etc.  I don't know how people accomplish both simutaneously.  I couldn't.

leatherette:
quote:

Wouldn't you be boring?  
You can't hide behind him and you need a self to be.  How could you be 100% if  you are not you?


I had no self, I was his.  For use, bad or good. He determined who 'me' was.  I would never return to this type of relatinship either.

daddysprop:
quote:

i'm not permitted to leave the house alone (in fact am locked in most of the time), can't make phone calls without permission, don't have any real life friends outside of him, have little contact or communication with family, can't drive or do anything really which would involve functioning independently in the outside world.


I thought I was the only one! Even reading material was selected and censored for me. I did drive though, for errands to do for him.  I hated driving, even if it were a hard limit, he would force it anyways. lol


(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: I'm interested in your opinions Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109