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iammachine -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 6:04:57 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan
How do YOU approach a sub online?
Well, I'm female, so I'm special. I don't HAVE to approach anyone if I don't wanna, plenty will come to me! Bwahaha!
This, of course, is no help to you. I do make first contact with people here and there, and generally have had a good amount of success.
I'm lazy, so I'm going to copy some good practices from my blog (which was hijacked from a post I had made on a similar topic, imagine that), and add some stuff! Please note, laziness in emailing is bad, as I will illustrate further in my post. [:)] Do not follow my example in lazy forum posting by following suit in personal email!!
Ways to be more presentable:
Read their profile completely, and comment on specific things in it (not just "I liked your profile" or other generic statements that scream "I didn't really read it") that you relate to or find to be of interest
Take inventory of your positive characteristics, what makes you someone interesting to know?
Pics help a lot, at least one clear face photo is preferable. Pics of anatomy are bad unless they have been specifically requested.
quote:
Do you approach a sub like you would any other woman (well, for ME it would be a woman!) in the Vanilla world?
Please do!!
quote:
Or do you approach a sub differently?
She's a woman first, isn't she? When you are first being introduced to someone, I'm of the opinion that titles and status quo aren't particularly relevant. You get to know a person, not a title. Everyone deserves to be treated with courtesy and respect.
quote:
One of the reasons I ask is because I have noticed, on several subs' profiles, statements about how they DON'T want to be approached. They say things like, they don't want to get a first message that says "On your knees!", and things like that. I can only believe that they say they don't want to get those kinds of VERY aggressive messages because they actually do receive them.
I wonder if I should be sending aggressive messages like that? Do subs EXPECT that?
Women EXPECT to get lots and lots of trivial bullshit from LOTS AND LOTS of HNGs, wankers, Domineering Jerks, whiny do-me do-me subs and all kinds of unsavory dudes. Sure, we expect it, but that doens't mean she wants it.
If a woman makes it a point to illustrate what she does not want, she probably means it and "breaking the rules" is unlikely to award you any amount of success with her at least. Some women go for the really aggressive, presumptuous bravado stuff. Many don't. I think generally just being polite and genuine is a pretty safe bet, being overly aggressive is more likely to get you bitched at, ignored, or blocked with a very small chance of a positive result.
That being said, I gave you some examples of some things I think are good practices, and are
kind of an outline of how I go about contacting people. Granted, I am female, but I have had a fair amount of success in maintaining favorable dialog with people I've contacted, which I would hope to think go beyond the magic of "Behold: The Power of Boobs!"
I will now present you with some examples of what not to do. You may opt to do so anyway, and you may have some degree of success, but overall, I think it's a bad idea.
Common mistakes that reduce chances of responses:
one liners
form letters (copy and paste, good for anectdotes, bad for personal mail)
generic or impersonal statements
focusing too much on play or a laundry list of kinks
making assumptions about what the other person may want based on your own desires
generally being overbearing, overeager, needy, of just too damn aggressive
YMMV, IMHO to be taken with a dose of salt, all those disclaimers and stuff.
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