RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online?

RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (Full Version)

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SmokingGun82 -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 8:18:25 PM)
I try to read the profile, and find something interesting to comment on. If I can't find something interesting in the profile to comment on... well, then why would I send an email? According to one person, at least, who did respond, my biggest problem is it sounds like a form letter... even though it wasn't. Like I plan ahead enough to save things :)

Rushemery -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 9:47:53 PM)
I have sent both kinds and at least recieved more no's with polite short emails than with other ones, they are people so treat them well and they will respect you for it, also they are not ours as of yet, its up to them to give themselves to us so be yourself so they know who you are from the beginning, if your really nice to begin with and change when you get them home they may leave and then say this person isnt who they say they are and your screwed so be honest with yourself and them and everyone wil be happier in the end

DiurnalVampire -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 10:20:19 PM)
I have about a 90% response rate too, but I am female. When I email a submissive, its usually with a comment on their profile or journal. I'll ask some questions if there is more information Id like to get, and I will comment on their pictures. Usually, I am very frirendly, and a bit of a smartass. I chat with most of the subs i have contacted. If you go over the top and send the "I am a dom , you will worship me now!" emails, you will usually not be taken seriously. Consider this... would you realy take a sub seriously who gave themsevles toyou without question in an intial email? You need ot get to know someone before you can even think on those terms. So, do just that. Use it as a way to get to know someone. DV

iammachine -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 11:12:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub You approach a sub on line with cyber chocolate of course!!...Tempting Ohhhh, best suggestion yet! Bring on the chocolate!!!

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 11:14:16 PM)
quote: How Do You Approach a sub Online? veeeerrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy carefully, we scare easily

Satyr6406 -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/13/2007 11:27:16 PM)
Okay. I know I'm going to catch hell, here but, I don't care. It's happened before ... In response to the very serious question: How do YOU approach a sub online??, I respond: I Don't. Now, just to show you that this isn't a smart-assed answer ... I have always believed that one of the things that is great about this lifestyle is that we don't fall into the "neat little holes" that society does. Contrary to how "courtship rituals" unfold in the 'nilla world, we, as dominants, are asking submissives to truly give themselves to us (in a much more defined manner than the 'nilla world) and allow us to guide, nurture, and care for them. How does this work? A dominant need only be the best person they can be and allow a submissive to get to know them. It is up to the submissive to recognize qualities that they admire and take some time to GET TO KNOW a dominant, before they offer to submit. It is not up to me to persue a submissive. It is up to me to show a submissive how I live my life and what I have to offer and for that submissive to discern that they "like the cut of my jib" (any allegorious sexual innuendo was not intended). From there, the decision/"moves" are up to the submissive. Peace and comfort, Michael [Edited to add: Hey! He copied his question from another thread. Why can't I copy my answer? LOL!!!!!!]

chellekitty -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 2:00:08 AM)
cause its cheating...and i am telling on you....i have the email of the pope of rope...

solitudesmiles -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 3:47:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Damocles809 quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty so....ummm my initial response to the question had flashes of the crocodile hunter, god rest his soul, talking about how to approach a very dangerous animal (said in an aussie accent)... Yeah, when you find subs hiding in a lake, the best approach is always to tackle them and shove your thumb up their asses. hmm thats sounds like fun now where do i find a lake? will a puddle do?

laurell3 -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 4:44:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Damocles809 1. I often make a comment about something interesting on their profile. That rarely gets a response. 2. Other times I make a comment about something they've posted here. That has only gotten a repsonse once, saying "Omg! You read my posts??? Stop following me!!" 3. If the sub's profile only talks about BDSM related activities, (and I like some of them), that's the only time I talk about bdsm in the first email. That approach also has only gotten one repsonse, saying "you say ur a dom but ur profile is fag." 4. Oddly enough, despite the vast number of sub profiles saying they hate one liners, they're fairly effective. Seems to work best with subs that don't say much in their profiles. 5. Finally, with super serious profiles; those subs saying "i seek a mature experinced master to guide my hand on a special journey with my gift of submission." They usually an email such as "Your insightful words on submission have enchanted me to take notice of your b00bies!!! lawlz! u sux!" And that last approach is by far the most effective. See? this I would respond to, because he obviously doesn't take himself too seriously and has a sense of humor and is intelligent, although that I would get from reading his prior forum posts because I'm a good girl and do my homework

Celeste43 -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 5:58:21 AM)
Consider it like approaching a woman at a party. You say "Hi, my name is..." You don't say "Nice dress, bet it would look better on my bedroom floor". Just a couple of sentences, short paragraph with a reference to something in their profile or in one of their posts and why it stood out for you. Don't start up with asking someone if they like it in the ass, or if they're shaved. Good way to get blocked from then on.

HalloweenWhite -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 6:01:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ArgoGeorgia I usually take time to read their profile (assuming they've actually filled it out), read their journal entries, their interest list, etc. Then I try to type up a thoughtful introductory email. Not too long, not just a sentence or too. Now, if the profile has nothing in it, I'll just say "Hi, wouldn't mind getting to know more about you blah blah blah." I then press "Send" and send my words out into the ether. 90% of the time I never hear back. [sm=banghead.gif] Yeah, that's pretty much how it works for me. I love online this online stuff. I would like to think that my dismal record is because I'm only looking for friends at the moment and most of the subs are looking for something more. At least that's what I like to tell myself to soothe the bruised ego. You aren't alone. There are millions of reasons why you don't get replies, most of the time though I think it's because they just can't be bothered. Thats life, Im afraid.

ArgoGeorgia -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 6:32:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite You aren't alone. There are millions of reasons why you don't get replies, most of the time though I think it's because they just can't be bothered. Thats life, Im afraid. whines in best pseudo-Dom way But I'm the Dom!!! They must yield to my will! They must respond to me with a 600 word response typed only through the use of their left nostril. No? Well, they must not be twue subs.

dawntreader -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 6:54:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ArgoGeorgia Wow, 85-90% response rate? I must be doing something wrong. You should give lessons. As one who has recieved mail from BlindDescent and engaged in conversation with him, there is no wonder to his success rate. He is quite an interesting and engaging conversationalist[:)]. Ofcourse his success rate could also be related to who he choses to contact as well..not all of us submissives are players~

dawntreader -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 7:02:24 AM)
Greetings Michael (Satyr6406), i see what you are saying about submisives pursueing the Dominant. i have never personally done this because i have never been actively looking for any relationship that i have entered - they found me. But i agree with you, we should be the ones looking...after all, we are the ones handing over the control - it would seem we would want to exercise as much of that control in deciding who we want to give that to instead of falling victim to the most "domly of the dominants" who contacts us. Should i find myself in a position to search...i will do so in much of the manner you allude to~ good post[:)] j

sublizzie -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 7:10:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Satyr6406 It is not up to me to persue a submissive. It is up to me to show a submissive how I live my life and what I have to offer and for that submissive to discern that they "like the cut of my jib" (any allegorious sexual innuendo was not intended). From there, the decision/"moves" are up to the submissive. I have yet to meet someone on-line who really fits me well if I am the one who approaches them first. I'm not sure why. If a Dominant approaches me first, things tend to go better. Granted, none have worked out well long-term yet, but the odds are better if a Dominant makes the first move toward me. I realize this may not work well for other people, but this has been my experience, both on-line and real-time so far. Who knows though? This may change at any time. Just my thoughts........

BlindDescent -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 7:14:54 AM)
Thank you Dawn. Our conversations were without pretension nor role posturing...simply conversations. I also agree with Michael...one can't have a set of expectations before one can have a set of conversations. Think of it as: this is an opportunity to see why I am who I am; not this is WHO I AM. Maybe at my age and experience, I have a broader sense of accceptance and pace. There is something to learn from everyone...what one does with it is another story entirely.

greyarcher315 -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 7:51:31 AM)
with the number of fakes and liars out there, i would think a polygraph would be a good start....

phonesexgirl4YOU -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 8:46:52 AM)
just be yourself, have a picture, and oh god don't use the line "on you knees now bitch" that is so trite and getting very old, after like 10 a day. candy

chellekitty -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 8:49:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ArgoGeorgia quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty i meant it specifically to you...i sent you an email on the other side and you didn't even read it...did you even get it? jeeeze...i love the internet.... Wow, you did??? I never got it! You know, earlier today I sent a message and noticed that at the top it said "message was NOT sent". I had never seen that before, and I barely caught it. Sure enough, it wasn't in my sent file. So resend! I saw you checked out my profile but figured you walked away! lol ok. so...i saw that you read my message and i am guessing that since we had this little discussion here, you had to have sent me something back...cause you don't seem like a total ass...well...now i didn't get anything back...and if i didn't get anything back from you, i feel a lot better about not getting things back from people like Aswad and Satyr6406 and SmokingGun82 amongst many others...cause collarme servers must be eating emails...sniffles [:(]

ArgoGeorgia -> RE: How Do You Approach a sub Online? (9/14/2007 8:59:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty ok. so...i saw that you read my message and i am guessing that since we had this little discussion here, you had to have sent me something back...cause you don't seem like a total ass...well...now i didn't get anything back...and if i didn't get anything back from you, i feel a lot better about not getting things back from people like Aswad and Satyr6406 and SmokingGun82 amongst many others...cause collarme servers must be eating emails...sniffles [:(] Well, I am a total ass, but I did send you something last night at 8:31 p.m. EST and it says you read it at 8:32 p.m. EST. Somehow I think the servers are lying to us all! I'm definitely not understanding why the emails aren't going through. I'm guessing if there is a lot of activity something might be getting hung up.

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