RE: Random thoughts

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Stephann -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 7:58:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Celeste43 Gift of submission is a very romantic way of looking at it. Some of us like romance. If you don't, that's fine but it's also fine that some of us do. Be fair, 99% of the time I couch my statements like "In my opinion, I believe that it's possible to consider submission to generally be dissimilar to gift, simply because in my experience I've found that it's more likely akin to emotions that more often than not are exampls of inherent feelings; as opposed to the opinion that submission might be a gift. Yet, this has generally been my experience, and the milage you may experience will depend greatly upon the vehicle, octane, tread pattern, and speedbumps you could possibly encounter, through your own experiences on this drive many people refer to as life. [;)] It would be my sincere hope that you might enjoy a lovely day, should you choose to do so. Stephan (Possibly considering a career in politics)

YourShyPet -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 8:04:26 AM)
I've found that the people who have problems with "give" "gift" are takers...and while I'm sure there are many people who are fine with the take... want the take... it doesn't exactly work for me... my Daddy is the only person I've ever felt submissive too... and yet he still had to wait for me to give it to him... had he attempted to "take" I would have slapped him down like a fly... he also had to give me his dominance I couldn't take or force it from him ... for us it boils down to an equal exchange of emotions and a bond... if it wasn't an equal exchange it would not work for us.

xoxi -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 9:42:12 AM)
Yeah. What he said. quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann ORIGINAL: Bobkgin So when someone who loves you gives you a present, or does something for you that you like, because she loves you, you do not feel loved as a result? No. I feel she loves me, whether she gives me a present or not. Giving me a present is a small reminder of her love, certainly, and I treasure the thought and care she invested in demonstrating her affection; but the term 'token of affection' stands out strongly for me here. It is a tangible display of that affection she holds for me; but giving me that present in no way suggests she has permanently transferred something to me. If love cannot be expressed/communicated (ie transferred) then when would you ever know you are loved? I feel it. She demonstrates that affection, usually with every word and action we share. This doesn't mean she is not expressing or communicating; it means she is not transferring it. Transference means something moves from one place to the other. To suggest otherwise, would require that once 'gifted' the submissive would no longer possess that trait. Once 'gifted' that there would be no more love. So if I pour you a glass of water and give it to you without expectation of compensation, I've run out of water? Maybe. I don't know how much water you have. Love is limited in quantity? No. This would suggest that love comes in a supply. Love is not a tangible, quantifiable substance. It is an emotion that we express like happiness, sorrow, guilt, jealousy, joy, anger, etc. Truly, this is the distinction we are simply not seeing eye to eye with; in refusing to associate a 'value' on love, instead of insisting that it may be given as one could give a glass of water, I assert that love has no price. It is, indeed, priceless. It is an emotion that will be expressed for me, or not; it isn't the emotion she can 'give' me; all she may give (or not give) is the expressions of that love that exists whether it is desired by her or not. If someone loves you today, she can't love you tomorrow, because the love she felt for you today used up the love she had for you (and if not tomorrow, then eventually)? Under the approach that love can be gifted, yes. This is why I do not believe love (or submission) is a gift. If she cannot express her love in what she does and what she gives, and is not constantly generating this love for you because this is what she has chosen to give you, how then do you see her expressing her love? By being and sharing herself with me. Regards, Stephan

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 12:12:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YourShyPet I've found that the people who have problems with "give" "gift" are takers...and while I'm sure there are many people who are fine with the take... want the take... it doesn't exactly work for me... my Daddy is the only person I've ever felt submissive too... and yet he still had to wait for me to give it to him... had he attempted to "take" I would have slapped him down like a fly... he also had to give me his dominance I couldn't take or force it from him ... for us it boils down to an equal exchange of emotions and a bond... if it wasn't an equal exchange it would not work for us. a good way to look at it. I think this is the best for a healthy exchange for a long term relationship

camille65 -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 12:19:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tearfulsurrender I have a very strong dislike for the phrase "Gift of submission". I am not giving him anything that doesnt come naturally to me. Quite the opposite, I feel like what I give him sorely pales in comparison to all that he gives to me. He gives me his strength when i am weak; he gives me his courage when i am scared. He takes me physically to places i had once only fantasized about. I feel like I give him nearly nothing and it hurts my heart. What do you give a man who gives you everything? I give him the pieces of a heart broken long ago and a soul that has been shattered through years of distress. He deserves so much more than I can give. Each day I will strive harder to find something more to give the man who already has all of me. What I get from your post is that you don't feel you give anything to your master/dom. Don't you think that you are doing him a disservice in saying that? He chose you but you are saying that his choice is wrong because you have nothing to give. I hope you think about it and realise that you do indeed give him something. If you didn't then why on earth would he keep you? He keeps you for a reason. You may not see it, or understand it but it is there.

Stephann -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 12:22:23 PM)
And all of this brings us round and round to the great divide; the abortion of D/s. Some submissives desire to 'give' themselves to a dominant. Others desire the dominant to 'take' them. Neither way is wrong, and the reasons behind this are many and unique. Note, it's like sexuality; one needn't be strictly heterosexual, nor strictly homosexual; there's lots of room for overlap. Stephan

domiguy -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 12:27:23 PM)
Gifts are for people who are full of shit...Who fart rose pedals...Who actually cannot grasp the terminology that they choose to use. It is not a gift. End of story....Pussy worshippers will call it a gift...Up on the pedestal the pussy goes....It has nothing to do with being a gift...It has to do with folks not understanding or the balls to see it for what it is...it is a trade off...Nothing more nothing less.

Stephann -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 12:31:23 PM)
DG, To borrow a line from Flava Flav... Word. (Damn, he does it so much better though.) Stephan

teamnoir -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 12:34:41 PM)
I tend to be happier with relationships that tend to be more symmetric. But whatever works for you and your partner is fine.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 1:02:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Gifts are for people who are full of shit...Who fart rose pedals...Who actually cannot grasp the terminology that they choose to use. It is not a gift. End of story....Pussy worshippers will call it a gift...Up on the pedestal the pussy goes....It has nothing to do with being a gift...It has to do with folks not understanding or the balls to see it for what it is...it is a trade off...Nothing more nothing less. Did someone steal your ice cream in school or lunch money. I never have seen someone who has a turds outlook on anything that is magical or beautiful lol

domiguy -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 1:07:16 PM)
My lounch money is perfectly safe never to be used...Just like my subs safeword..... Unicorns often have diarrhea...All kids are not cute...Not all blowjobs are good...If you wish upon a star you will catch herpes...And submission is not a gift.

Aileen68 -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 1:08:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy My lounch money I've never had lounch before. Is it good?

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 1:13:11 PM)
Yes it is good . you should try. it might do you some good

FullfigRIMaam -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 1:13:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Gifts are for people who are full of shit...Who fart rose pedals...Who actually cannot grasp the terminology that they choose to use. Yeah, but why do you always seem angry? Not gotten any gifts lately?! [:-] M

domiguy -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 1:24:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMaam quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Gifts are for people who are full of shit...Who fart rose pedals...Who actually cannot grasp the terminology that they choose to use. Yeah, but why do you always seem angry? Not gotten any gifts lately?! [:-] M You haven't sent me any picks of those wonderful ebony orbs.

FullfigRIMaam -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 1:38:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy You haven't sent me any picks of those wonderful ebony orbs. You've never asked nicely. [:)] M

ThinkingKitten -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 6:50:22 PM)
If you insist on going the "gift" route when defining your submission then you have to remember and account for the fact that "gifts" and the scope and value of such gifts are all relative to the giver, and the receiver. If you struggle to put 2 cents together, to hold your life together, keep a roof over your head etc on minimal income, then a $5 gift to charity is enormous. The charity still appreciates it though, because although it may pale in monetary value to the gifts of $5000 that they receive, they know you gave all you could. Conversely, of course, those who are rolling in it and self indulgent, for whom the gift of $5000 would be trivial, may only give the $5. Who gave more ultimately? Its all relative. If you are giving your best, then even if that best seems insufficient to you - if your Dom knows what it costs you in your heart to give it, and he says it is enough, then it is enough. Be at peace.

RRafe -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 6:52:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Gifts are for people who are full of shit...Who fart rose pedals...Who actually cannot grasp the terminology that they choose to use. It is not a gift. End of story....Pussy worshippers will call it a gift...Up on the pedestal the pussy goes....It has nothing to do with being a gift...It has to do with folks not understanding or the balls to see it for what it is...it is a trade off...Nothing more nothing less. That's how I see it too. I despise gifts that cost-and they always do. Take the promotional offer and stick it.[:D]

mmb1 -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 6:55:14 PM)
they are both gifts, submission and Dominance, and IMO if you have to think about it so much, it is not a gift................

RRafe -> RE: Random thoughts (9/15/2007 6:58:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mmb1 they are both gifts, submission and Dominance, and IMO if you have to think about it so much, it is not a gift................ Nope-it becomes a self serving obsession. A nuerotic one-which is why I run from people like that-as fast as I can.

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