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RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/17/2007 8:50:51 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

OK, I could do that, but the fuckin laundry better be set, or your are taking a $50 asskick..........fair? 


Aw....only 50 bucks for laundry?


Now I would want to actually SEE the mountain of laundry before commiting to that deal either way. Might end up a hard limit.


Good morning Beautiful, i agree that is why i asked "only 50 bucks for laundry?"
 
I've seen some bachelor's laundry piles that you could not wash all the socks at the Laundromat for 50 bucks.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/17/2007 9:01:45 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		While I don't have much of a laundry pile, with some of the things that have been going on in my life now.  (I am only at the farm weekends for one). I have an apartment in another town during the week (thinking of buying another house, tho)

In the olden days, I used to bring women home and they would look around at my clean and orderly place and they would get a sour look on their face and start sniffing the air, saying "OK, so where's your girlfriend?"

Nowadays, were I to bring one to the den of iniquity, they would cast about in horror, screaming "Jesus Christ!!!! How many guys live here?"

Ron  

The apartment is in pretty good shape, but I need to do up spring cleaning for the house, prolly do that this winter when it slows down.


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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/17/2007 4:08:23 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I want to answer, but I have no idea what the OP means by "vanilla life"?  What's that and what's "non-vanilla life"?

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/17/2007 4:11:47 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stallions

Is it improper or unethical for a Dom to involve himself in, or even try to establish a subs "vanilla "life?


What is "unethical"?  Whatever two, rational, mature adults consent to is ethical, isn't it? There are alot of opinions and protocol and rules spread around the lifestyle, but the relationship between two people is what defines, nothing else.

(in reply to Stallions)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/18/2007 3:14:02 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAnthropic

There are no safe words in being who you are.


Could I just say I met him today for the first time. I went into Town and our eyes met and then our mouths. Everything else disappeared including the entire station platform and the 17 years difference in our ages.
I will get around to writing about it eventually.
He accomodated me (makes a change) and there was a great deal of pain and no safe words needed. I found myself asking him never to abandon me. He promised he would not. Those words have never left my mouth before. And therefore never abandoning me will probably include knowing some or all about my vanilla life.
Once the strawberry cream and the chocolate drops and the flake and the sorbet and the srprinkles reach the ice cream it usually melts together in the heat of the sun anyway.
Whew......good day and I deserve the karma.

Prinsexx

(in reply to MissAnthropic)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/19/2007 2:43:45 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

What is "unethical"?  Whatever two, rational, mature adults consent to is ethical, isn't it? There are alot of opinions and protocol and rules spread around the lifestyle, but the relationship between two people is what defines, nothing else.


Not if the two consenting to it are doing so without the consent of either of their spouses

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/19/2007 3:01:39 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

What is "unethical"?  Whatever two, rational, mature adults consent to is ethical, isn't it? There are alot of opinions and protocol and rules spread around the lifestyle, but the relationship between two people is what defines, nothing else.


Not if the two consenting to it are doing so without the consent of either of their spouses

Respectfully, you are wrong xoxi, that is morality not ethics and it's your version, not everyone's.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 9/19/2007 3:02:36 PM >

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/19/2007 5:19:16 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		You do realize that 'morality' and 'ethics' show up in each other's thesaurus listings, and that this is the definition of ethics, right?

eth·ics      /ˈɛθɪks/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[eth-iks] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –plural noun

1.(used with a singular or plural verb) a system of moral principles: the ethics of a culture.
2.the rules of conduct recognized in respect to a particular class of human actions or a particular group, culture, etc.: medical ethics; Christian ethics.
3.moral principles, as of an individual: His ethics forbade betrayal of a confidence.
4.(usually used with a singular verb) that branch of philosophy dealing with values relating to human conduct, with respect to the rightness and wrongness of certain actions and to the goodness and badness of the motives and ends of such actions.

And yes, they are my own morals and ethics...I would say just about anyone would say that cheating on someone without their consent is unethical.  Presuming they have a conscience, of course.

< Message edited by xoxi -- 9/19/2007 5:20:10 PM >

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/19/2007 5:37:29 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		This could become very pedantic very fast.

I consider cheating on one's spouse (when promises of fidelity have been made) to be unethical, and immoral.  Thus, someone who does this, would exhibit unethical and immoral behavior.  I don't think this means the person is automatically unethical; a vegetarian who eats one hamburger a month is still a vegetarian, to me.  Someone who regularly breaks their own rules or promises, to me, is an unethical and immoral person.

Now, someone can be ethical, but immoral (from my perspective.)  This means they embrace their own ethical concepts, and abide by what they consider to be 'right.'  Sometimes this is known as honor among thieves.  A pimp in the US is engaging in behavior that is against common morality, but if he willingnly chooses to incorporate managing sex slaves as 'right' to him, than he is following his own ethics.  I can still say that, because we share space in the same society (and indirectly or directly, I have to deal with the consequences of his presence) he is contributing to immoral behavior, because I consider his acts to be against my own sense of morality. 

Essentially, ethics are made of the system of morality (or moralities), as shoshilicious pointed out in the definition. 

As to the topic at hand, it isn't that they're having sex with people who aren't their partners that is the issue.  It's that they are breaking promises they have made to their spouses to be faithful instead of renegotiating the rules of engagement.  Good people sometimes break their promises, and sometimes bad people keep them.  But breaking a promise is unethical, anyway you paint it.

Stephan


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"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/19/2007 5:57:37 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann


Now, someone can be ethical, but immoral (from my perspective.)  This means they embrace their own ethical concepts, and abide by what they consider to be 'right.'  Sometimes this is known as honor among thieves.  A pimp in the US is engaging in behavior that is against common morality, but if he willingnly chooses to incorporate managing sex slaves as 'right' to him, than he is following his own ethics.  I can still say that, because we share space in the same society (and indirectly or directly, I have to deal with the consequences of his presence) he is contributing to immoral behavior, because I consider his acts to be against my own sense of morality. 



Now this is definitely the most interesting paragraph that's been posted on CM all week.

I do agree that everyone does have their own ethical codes, and their own moralities, but like you said it would be pretty hard to find 'cheating without permission' on anyone's list of morally right activities.

Even the people who do it feel a twinge of guilt.


PS - I am shoshilicious aren't I


< Message edited by xoxi -- 9/19/2007 5:58:06 PM >

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/19/2007 7:03:59 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		Mine doesn't always get involved with my vanilla life. He knows what's important to me and will give his feedback if i ask for it

(in reply to Stallions)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/20/2007 5:35:03 AM   
Stallions


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks to everyone for the input, it's been very illuminating, [3 pages wow!] I believe a sub/slave should have a life outside D/s, but with some controls. I thought I'd offer a sub/slave a bit more then a live in position. I thought this would actually be attractive to some subs/ slave. To this point I've been wrong.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/20/2007 6:09:47 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		What do you mean exactly "a life outside D/s but with some controls?"

I would want the man I love to be involved in all of my life - just because we go to a movie together doesn't mean he has to slap a collar on me and make me miss the good parts to go get him popcorn.  At the same time though just because we're doing nothing more than watching a movie with his arm around me, that doesn't make him any less my master.  It's something in my heart, not just something to do to my body.

(in reply to Stallions)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/20/2007 6:15:45 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stallions

Thanks to everyone for the input, it's been very illuminating, [3 pages wow!] I believe a sub/slave should have a life outside D/s, but with some controls. I thought I'd offer a sub/slave a bit more then a live in position. I thought this would actually be attractive to some subs/ slave. To this point I've been wrong.



We don't seperate vanilla life from BDSM life.   I cannot grasp the edges of people who live completely seperate lives, nor do I even desire to.  Define vanilla and non vanilla - if you can?
 
Someone brought up the image of cheating.  Well, leading any double life which you with-hold knowingly from anyone is deception - what is the difference?
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Stallions)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/20/2007 6:42:09 AM   
Stallions


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline 		I want them to have their own place to live, their own job, their own money. I will provide the apartment, but on my property. They will have a job & paycheck, but they will work for me.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Subs Vanilla Life - 9/20/2007 6:54:02 AM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline 		This sounds like a very sweet deal to me.  i would have loved to have been offered this opportunity about 10 years ago or, even 2 years ago.  Now, i am quite content where i'm at but, before, oh i would have been very happy to accept such an offer.  As to how much input you have in your submissive's life, outside of what she does with you, that's up to you and your sub to decide.  i have had part-time Doms in the past.  It worked for awhile but, then i started to feel a need for a 24/7 M/s life and, got it.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stallions
I want them to have their own place to live, their own job, their own money. I will provide the apartment, but on my property. They will have a job & paycheck, but they will work for me.

(in reply to Stallions)
Profile   Post #: 56
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