I screwed up big time. (Full Version)

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defiantbadgirl -> I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 5:52:48 PM)

Sunday, I was contacted by a Dom in my small town. He said all the right things, asked if I would wear a collar, and wanted me to mention him on my profile. He also wanted me to talk dirty to him on the phone. I told him I wanted to meet him and he said we could meet sometime this week. He signed briefly the next day but didn't contact me. I had no way to get ahold of him except on here because he blocked his number when he called. After several days of hearing nothing and remembering the phone thing, I assumed he was a wanker. A couple of hours ago, I sent him a message stating I had deleted my mention of him in my journal since I hadn't heard from him and said time to move on. Just my luck he decided to sign in tonight and reply with "I had a busy week, sorry. If that's how you feel, I guess I lose." Now he's all pissed off and refuses to read any of my messages. I know, I jumped to conclusions and was wrong. I never met the guy so I'm not going to cry or lose any sleep over it. Has this happened to anyone else, especially since there are so many wankers out there? How many days should a woman wait before concluding that a man is only after cyber/phone fun? I obviously didn't wait long enough.



jaxnsax -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 5:56:00 PM)


Greetings
Perhaps it is just me, but it does not sound as if you screwed up at all. You said that he DID sign in once or twice before this, he could have dropped you a note saying ‘hey, I am really busy, but I have not forgotten about you’
Just my opinion though
jaxon



Steelonme -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:03:49 PM)

Sounds like a head game. Like he wanted you to pursue him. To come crawling to him. It's a Don Juan thing.



defiantbadgirl -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:07:05 PM)

Of course he could have dropped me a note. The fact that he didn't is part of what led me to mistake him for a wanker. My question is, how long should someone wait before drawing that conclusion? Just trying to avoid future misunderstandings with potential Doms.



feylin -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:12:56 PM)

Do you typically feel a connection that fast? I am having trouble with hearing "so, are you interested?" (or some variation of that) after an hour or less of chat or emails.  My mental response..."ummm, huh?" I have barely had time to determine whether or not I would like to email them tomorrow, let alone time to find out all the important stuff (what's their sign, do they still live with their mom, and should the Red Barron have taken the shot at Snoopy when he had the chance.)

I am not sure how I would feel if I got your response. If I did put someone in a journal entry, I would probably use a code name to protect the innocent and the guilty, so I would not have to worry about erasing it.  Journal entries for me are random thoughts at that particular moment.   

Concerning the number of days you should wait, trust your gut.  Whatever you are comfortable with regarding the person you chatted up is exactly the time limit you should pay attention to.  There were things you took into consideration, you made a decision, good enough.   I do not see it as a mass of "wankers" out there...people are just searching for one thing or another and it might not necessarily be your thing.  Wankers need love too. (Just kidding, hehe, fake compassion for wankers.)

I do not invest that much emotion or concern with people I have chatted with once or twice.  So, no drama either way.....not unless there was a tangible connection right off (or great phone sex -- in which case, I usually stalk them). 





YourhandMyAss -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:13:05 PM)

I'd be more concerned with the fact he expects you to mention him in your profile and you haven't even ment, nor do you know him and he's jumping right into dirty talk, and talk of collars.



subsnow -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:13:18 PM)

I don't think you've MISTAKEN him for a wanker. I think he IS a wanker. He obviously wasn't very serious about this, otherwise he would have sent you something, even if it were a message saying that he was busy. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. If he really wanted this to work, he would try to fix it now that all of this has happened.



SimplyMichael -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:16:04 PM)

you are BOTH wankers



Cuckme4Life -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:17:33 PM)

You did not screw up at all. And I agree, this guy is head game playing. Probably has something he is hiding also. Dont lose sleep over it.



BlindDescent -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:20:23 PM)

It is the most common of all lame attempts to save face of appear not at fault...blame the other person convincingly in a focused manner. It makes you doubt yourself when your instinct told you the truth. It's why it's called instinct...it is there for survival.
As to collars before meeting..they are theoretical, or wishful at best. Sounds like he was presumptuous and never intending on meeting...you were receptive of his presumptions and the house of cards fell quite quickly.  Learn something from this while developing hopeful prudence.



breatheasone -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:20:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

you are BOTH wankers

[sm=biggrin.gif]



defiantbadgirl -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:26:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

I'd be more concerned with the fact he expects you to mention him in your profile and you haven't even ment, nor do you know him and he's jumping right into dirty talk, and talk of collars.


I thought he was getting a little ahead of himself as well. I told him there would be no collaring until we met in person and I got to know him. The only thing I said in my journal was that I had been contacted by a Dom in my town, we were supposed to meet this week, and I hoped it worked out.



MissMagnolia -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:31:29 PM)

I've been in the situation reversed (without the phone sex). A slave emailing me nonstop for weeks, begging to meet, then when I finally get off my fat arse and start arranging a time and place, he completely stops contact.

It happens right across the board and some are obviously just into the head game. Talking about collars after such a short time and without meeting is a definite alarm bell going off.

You jumped into the pool before checking that there was water in it. My advice? Until someone has proven to be who they say they are, no sex talk, no phone sex, no collar talk, no bullshit.



defiantbadgirl -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:33:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: feylin

Do you typically feel a connection that fast? I am having trouble with hearing "so, are you interested?" (or some variation of that) after an hour or less of chat or emails.  My mental response..."ummm, huh?" I have barely had time to determine whether or not I would like to email them tomorrow, let alone time to find out all the important stuff (what's their sign, do they still live with their mom, and should the Red Barron have taken the shot at Snoopy when he had the chance.)

No, I do not feel an emotional attachment to anyone I have only talked to once. I was just excited about the fact that he actually lives in my town. As I said, I'm not going to cry or lose any sleep over it. The only emotion I'm feeling is frustration.




SolarAndViolet -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:33:49 PM)

I might be jumping to conclusions but... this is what I gathered from your post. The fact he asked you if you'd wear a collar and for you to mention him on your profile -before- you ever met for the first time... now that sounds like an online-player.

As far as your question how long you should wait... Everyone have different patience levels. I would give it a week and if a person didn't bother dropping me a line, I wouldn't bother. It doesn't take more than 2 minutes to email/drop a note to say one's busy. It's pure respect for the other person. If he lacks it, he can have tendency to disappear for longer time without notice. (I've encountered those)

Don't worry over it too much.
The sea with fish is still out there. May be in a nearby little town is the gold fish you're looking for ? :) never know.

All best,

'violet'

Edited for typos.



mnottertail -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:34:19 PM)

General reply (mostly to women, as you see by my words)

Stuff your unique pissflaps up your ass, it ain't that hard to come by,  kids.

Men, just as you are, are trying to find a hookup in amongst the girls that are giving it away with both hands, or the lesbian guys that want to show you that they will do anything that you want, if only they were a woman, and we are actually trying to find out the color of your eyes in your prison entrance photos, when your ass is the first picture on your profile, trying to deal with your fuckin' stupid Anais Nin quotes, your epemeral fukin stupid fuckin poetry, and divining some way to have you remember our first initial of our first name (at least) from the 90 billion wanker emails that you get, just like we get every day............It is hard to approach harlots, twats, whatever, cause you think you got it goin on and you fuckin dont.  You are the same style of shitbreather I am. 

EVERYBODY THAT MAILS YOU
only wants your fat ass purple looking pissflaps, and after clicking on the jockey shorts in your avatar finds out you are a bohemoeth of a cunt, with thirteen kids and are a slave but a hardlimit of housecleaning-------

Jesus, your precious time is wasted?  what about the poor bastards who have to come up with something to try and interest your fucked up ass?

Get a job and beg me, let's play the game that way.

Ron (who votes for womens sufferage, if they are not on the rag, and hasn't had the opportunity to vote for it in his life)



Missokyst -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:35:21 PM)

Too much of a rush, if you ask me.  The man lives in your town, how silly is it to say mention me in your profile if he is close enough to see if there is a connection?  And talk of collars so soon?  Umm.. That says to me people are a little to desperate for a quick wank.
I am wanting to meet someone now.  But even considering my current state, I would pass on a guy like that in a heartbeat.  And if I didn't I would have to flog myself for my bad judgement.
Kyst



KnightofMists -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:37:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Sunday, I was contacted by a Dom in my small town. He said all the right things, asked if I would wear a collar, and wanted me to mention him on my profile. He also wanted me to talk dirty to him on the phone. I told him I wanted to meet him and he said we could meet sometime this week.


ok.. you are contacted by a Dom (location of said Dom is irrelevant) very recently.... mmmmmmmmm does this imply you only just started to chat with him?  It would seem so.  He says all the right things.... and just what things is that?  mmmmmm so he says all the right things and you agree to mention him in your profile... oh this is going well ( have her hooked).... so now to try and reel her in.... so he asks you to talk dirty to him.... oh no.. she wants to meet first. mmmmmmm that could pose a problem..... but maybe sometime in the near future. 

quote:


He signed briefly the next day but didn't contact me. I had no way to get ahold of him except on here because he blocked his number when he called.


oh.... so he showed up on line did he... well maybe it wasn't him... I know that sometimes for some stupid reason MSN will sign in and out.. happens with alandra's computer all the time.

mmmmmmm he had is number blocked????  so you talked on the phone??? it would imply that you gave him your phone number.......... mmmmmm yup seems he said all the right things.


quote:


After several days of hearing nothing and remembering the phone thing, I assumed he was a wanker.


several days....... oh wow... that is forever... .. and whst are you implying with the phone thing?  Well.. I know it is strange that you give him your number but don't have his... mmmmmmmmmmmm yup must of said all the right things.

quote:


A couple of hours ago, I sent him a message stating I had deleted my mention of him in my journal since I hadn't heard from him and said time to move on.


that a girl... lets go from one extreme to another.... average them out and it doesn't look so bad.


quote:


Just my luck he decided to sign in tonight and reply with "I had a busy week, sorry. If that's how you feel, I guess I lose.


mmmmmmm well... guess he can't string you along... but he sure can make you wish you where still his YoYo.

[quote
" Now he's all pissed off and refuses to read any of my messages. I know, I jumped to conclusions and was wrong. I never met the guy so I'm not going to cry or lose any sleep over it. Has this happened to anyone else, especially since there are so many wankers out there? How many days should a woman wait before concluding that a man is only after cyber/phone fun? I obviously didn't wait long enough.


You KNOW.. that you jumped to the wrong conclusions... and how do you know that... you haven't shared anything that would support that.

and as far as your question... ... it's not a question of waiting a specfic number of days before concluding a person is a wanker.....

It's more a question of well... knowing what are the right things that they will say... as well as what are the right things for you to say.


and  a big Ditto to Michael



SolarAndViolet -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:38:42 PM)

mnottertail, I have no idea what you're talking about. I've taken a stab at reading it twice now. Can anyone translate?

-Solar



defiantbadgirl -> RE: I screwed up big time. (9/14/2007 6:39:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

you are BOTH wankers


True, I'm ashamed to admit. The only difference is, he lives in my town and I made it very clear that I wanted to meet in person. There's no way I would talk dirty to a guy on the phone who lived several hours away or in another state. I refuse to ever engage in cyber or phone anything unless the person lives close and plans have been made for a live meeting.



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