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Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 5:32:31 PM   
MasterScottAZ


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Phoenix AZ
Status: offline 		A general question: why the hell don't people looking for partners go to local groups and events? My god, that's where you can meet people RT, observe them, and after you know some people, get references fairly easy. I don't understand why I see so many submissives/slaves seeking Masters/Dominants on CM, but not attending local functions.

Master Scott
(Phoenix AZ)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 5:39:48 PM   
pearlmoongirl


Posts: 68
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline 		I, personally, am not quite ready. I've had subs and Doms alike say that munches can turn into chaos with many Doms "competing" for subs' attention, and I would feel completely overwhelmed by such aggressiveness from strangers. I am also still asking for pointers so I don't make a fool of myself etiquette-wise. (As in, stare at other Doms the way I stared at that Guy in the grocery store. Doh! Total embarrassment!)

That being said ... sometimes I think I will go out of my mind from lack of face-to-face contact with like-minded souls. So I know I can't bear to be scared for too much longer. But still, I have fears.

~pmg

(in reply to MasterScottAZ)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 5:41:11 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I've been to munches where the members made fools of themselves, etiquette-wise.  To the degree that it was easy for me to make the decision not to return.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to pearlmoongirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 5:43:56 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I suspect it may have to do with the local scene in that person's area. Not everyone gets along with all types of people, so it depends on the kinds of people who form the local scene.

To be honest, if I were looking I really don't think I would look in the local scene primarily. While we have had good experiences with the local groups, I think I'd rather find someone in a "vanilla" setting who was also dominant.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MasterScottAZ)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 5:46:11 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterScottAZ

A general question: why the hell don't people looking for partners go to local groups and events? My god, that's where you can meet people RT, observe them, and after you know some people, get references fairly easy. I don't understand why I see so many submissives/slaves seeking Masters/Dominants on CM, but not attending local functions.

Master Scott
(Phoenix AZ)


That's where I've met all of my partners in fact -- in the local community (when there was one).

However not everyone is near enough to a meatlife community to meet on any sort of regular basis. That does not mean they stop having desires or the interests.

I'm not on here to meet potentials for my household; I'm on here for an online community of similarly minded people who like to express their opinions and share experiences.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MasterScottAZ)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 5:51:46 PM   
murmur


Posts: 394
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline 		pearlmoongirl, you're not alone.

_____________________________

Become who you are. - Socrate

(in reply to pearlmoongirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 5:52:13 PM   
Ponyboy7


Posts: 572
Joined: 1/14/2006
Status: offline 		I do go to local events when my work schedule permits; however, awhile back I had a similar experience as KatyLied, which turned me off of them for awhile. As it turned out, it was merely that particular group, but at the time I did not know that, so I steered clear of munches for awhile.

As for why others don't go, I think that, as pearlmoongirl said, some may be anticipating a chaotic and aggressive atmosphere and may not be ready to deal with that. I think it is easier to deal with aggressiveness/pushiness on a site like CollarMe than in a real time situation. Just my opinion.

_____________________________

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

Blake

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 5:54:16 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I was reluctant because I had a lot of social anxiety and it was multiplied by the fact that I was entering such foreign territory. I did not have the luxury that some people do of being introduced to the lifestyle by a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend. I would have had to go cold into a munch where I knew no one. I was lucky that when I finally did take that step that I contacted a woman who runs a local group and she took me under her wing and stuck by me the whole evening and introduced me to everyone she knew. It was great.

Also, beginning as a sub, I also had the image of being prey surrounded by hunters. It wasn't like that at all, but I had that fear. It felt much safer being behind the keyboard.

There are also a lot of people who are uncomfortable with the public nature of munches and play parties and you can meet these people online.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 5:56:21 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		cause I'm married, have two UMs a full time job, I go to school full time, I have a dog, fish, hermit crabs, a house with a mortgage and going weekly to munches is not something I currently choose to incorporate into my busy life.  I live at least an hour from most munches and clubs and gas is terribly expensive right now.

I used to go all the time...they were much fun for me to socialize.  I'd rather be at home, chatting here, getting to know someone as much as one can online, if we click great, we meet...if not, I've not wasted time away from my home.

Sound like I'm too busy for a sub?  *S* Maybe that's part of the reason I'm currently searching... so I can be a bit less busy with mundane things and make more time for my family (including the newest and most helpful member, of course)

and for the record, OP...this pic of me was taken in March at the Sinsations in Leather Convention...so there ya have it.

< Message edited by earthycouple -- 9/16/2007 5:58:21 PM >

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 5:57:58 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Pretty particular about who I choose to hang out with...Don't see the benefit in ever attending such a get together.

_____________________________



(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 6:13:25 PM   
onmykneesb4Him


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		i would love to attend a local munch once in a while, but they all seem to have fallen apart. Despite many listings in my city, not one has actually come through this entire year.

i'm not looking for anyone anyway, but i thought it would be good for Sir and i to connect to other like minded people.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 6:18:48 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i did look in my local community and found it wanting, but i am still active in it anyway...and i found my leather family in the local community..but being i want someoen i can have a romantic relationship with them and i am not from arkansas...(sorry to people who are from there and don't date their brothers and sisters)...actually...i am still trying to bring more people into the local community...but no one seems to want to come in...we aren't that scary or boring - we get both reactions...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to onmykneesb4Him)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 6:19:57 PM   
SmokingGun82


Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		I don't go to meetings/munches because I don't enjoy them. I had more of an explanation, but really that's the only reason that matters.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 6:23:17 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		you would enjoy them, if you went to ones where i was  or die trying...and no, i am not sure who would die....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to SmokingGun82)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 6:26:24 PM   
SmokingGun82


Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		I'm perfectly open to the idea it might just be the groups here. They fail to capture my interest, to make it more pretentious than it needs to be.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 6:30:27 PM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		hi
not all local communities are welcoming places. All it takes is one very bitter and nasty ex to ensure that its difficult for all concerned.
Trust us on that
C & c

(in reply to MasterScottAZ)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 6:36:17 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		i finally had the nerve to go to my first munch (well im pretty sure i did), but then we decided to have a surprise potluck lunch for grannies 95th bday at the same time......granny won....

maybe next month, although i would have really loved to hear the speaker at this one next week.

as for why i havent gone yet, it takes a lot to walk into something like that alone, for me anyhow, and because i work during the day, the times my nerve and the availability of a munch to attend fall at the same day doesnt roll around enough.

somehow, things always happen when they should though....

what was the question?

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to MasterScottAZ)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 6:40:52 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		so first saturday of the month, every month, except December (they have a party that day instead that month)...in San Antonio....what month can i expect you for a munch?

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to SmokingGun82)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 6:41:35 PM   
Shadowen


Posts: 34
Joined: 8/31/2007
Status: offline 		Local groups I avoid for the same reasons, the exact same reasons in alot of instances of why I don't go into internet chatrooms.  The resemblance, in my experiences mind you, are to much to get past. I've seen women get welcomed with open arms and the men they were with given the evil eye and relegated to barely having an acknowledgement of their existance.  They just seem to me to be pretentious and highly elitist and cliquish in my experience.

Am sure there are great groups out there, but experience skews me into thinking the worst of any group right off the bat anyways so I don't bother.

(in reply to completenz)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Local Community Involvement - 9/16/2007 6:43:03 PM   
YourShyPet


Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline 		I love my local functions- play parties... social parties... dance parties... floorshow parties... etc., I attend them regularly... and have met all my subs and my Daddy at functions first... then we exchanged email addresses... I understand there are many people out there who don't attend their local functions for various reasons... but if your not into local functions the odds are we're just not going to be communicating for long.

_____________________________

kittin

http://www.myspace.com/daddys_kittin

(in reply to completenz)
Profile   Post #: 20
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