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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/18/2007 5:43:06 PM

CelticPrince

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LL,

Well perhaps your right but I do hope not, the dynamics of all those victims coming back to solo creates another problem all together.

CP

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/18/2007 6:00:00 PM

CuriousLord

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x
quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

I think a lot of guys online are drawn to this simply because they think "Wow sex whenever I want, and I get two or three chicks too? And they can't complain because they're submissive? Fuck yes."

Silly boys...

Wait until the reality of three women with PMS, out of chocolate, and the fourth going through menopause smacks them in the face. That'll learn them!

I'm pretty sure that some man with a couple of slave girls was probably the first one to use bondage extensively. Just for this reason. He probably also invented most of the forms of gags we see today.

"Necessity is the mother of invention."

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/18/2007 6:11:54 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x
But i think a lot of guys who are only looking at the fantasy part of having two or more women would be totally confused when that time of the month rolled around and he was faced with a pair of suddenly homicidal women.

Or homocidal and desparately horny women.

I've never had my cycle change and I've been in lots of living situations with other females.

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/18/2007 6:13:39 PM

CuriousLord

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

This has been a subject of my personal pondering for some time now, but over the last few months, I see more and more submissives trolling for another submissive to join with them in serving their "Masters"

Most of the time, they do so under the direction of their "One".

What be your thoughts on the subject?

Seems like a pretty normal thing. Men seem to naturally desire more than one female; dominance typically leads one to seek his desires. I'm not entirely sure how many men find that several females are for them, though.

I can easily see a skilled trainer causing his females to submit to the point that they're not even prone to being a hastle due to their emotions, even when in a group. Still, such training does not seem to be an option for most dominants, as the great majority seem to lack the skill while the few who seem to have it would probably be unable to do so for all but a select population of slaves. (This is to say, finding and training a group of women to be drama-free is a rather difficult thing to do; not all men can do it, and it's likely that many women would be nearly impossible to train in such a manner.)

I imagine that many Dom's have experimented with multiple sub's at some point. I mean, after all, how can one not if he truly follows his own desires, particularly if he also desires experience? Still, once one has the experience, and recognizes the pain that a group of females can be, it's likely that he would lose interest.

Myself, I have only one slave. I released all of "her sister slaves" shortly after acquiring her; not for her sake, but for a variety of other reasons. The "relationship" remains "open" on my end- she's not to have complaints about whatever I decide to do with anyone else, including taking on more slaves. Still, I can't say I feel the need, and I'm unsure of what another girl could possibly offer me.

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/18/2007 6:42:48 PM

MaamJay

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Master is adamant that He'd never want two subs/slaves of HIS living under the same roof at the same time ... clever Man worked that out a long time ago

. He has me and that's plenty for 24/7 ... while He'd like to be involved with others, He doesn't want that to be a live-in situation. However, He will allow Me to exercise My Dominant side and have a live-in sub. For a long while We were thinking of a boy, but now I have found a fem sub that's looking like a very good prospect and He is quite happy with that as she's not directly His sub, and she only serves Him under My direction. He has allowed Me to do the choosing but it's been a very important consideration of Mine that He gets along with her and she with Him, otherwise 3 will definitely be a crowd.

If He found a sub He'd like to work with, i would be introduced and asked for my input and insight, but the final decision would be His. Given that she wouldn't be moving in, i really wouldn't have much to worry about. my main concern is that she's mature and stable enough to handle the situation ... don't need anyone flipping out and outing U/us!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Is Poly a growing Segment of the Path - 9/18/2007 8:31:19 PM

Gwynvyd

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Oh the age old Poly question....

In any realtionship it takes a lot of communication and at least 2 adult hopefuly sane individuals to maintain the link between themselves. Add to this mix a female... any given female... and well things get interesting.. and fast. They are not known to be creatures of logic, and tend to re-create conversations and sometimes situations on the fly.

This being said.... if you have an already established female... who in her mind has already bagged the big game. ie. her mate.
Then you get the slick idea of trying to introduce someone new to her that you would like to also have relations with.... the most likely reaction is well... lets just say not going to be pretty. ( Trust me I know.. I am in the middle of battle plans for my loves other half ) and for Gods sake do not pre test the merchandice before you present it to the lil lady. It is bad enough you want someone else too.. dont add cheating onto it.

If you begin a relationship with the poly understanding then the likelihood of hurt feelings and complixites in something that is wicked hard for folks to deal with in the first place.. is generaly dramaticaly reduced.

It takes tons of very very frank, and honest communication. It also has to come from a desire to share of yourself.. not just to be able to get more sex.. from a different person. < that seems to make things implode quickly. No one likes to feel used, or taken for granted. > You need to not only share yourself sexualy but also time wise in most cases and some may even want a emotional link as well... with sex comes responsibilites... ( how often we forget this in running off to get our bits fiddled with ) Every realtionship is different. esp. when involving more then one person. Will all parties be equals? How is the pecking order to be decided? What are the terms? What if there are grievances, how will they be handled? ( very important that... no Freaking Chinese telephone between the male and other females. Talk it out between yourselves and grow the hell up ) If there is a Dom/me they must have a big enough ( excuse the term) pair of balls to make things stick. They must also have everyone ( other then thier own) best interest at heart before themselves.

I am sure some of you have watched the show Big Love... if you go to HBO . com you will find it there. It is a bit like that.. You always have a strong leader female... a cute lil fluffball who wants to be taken seriously.. and a pain in the ass bitch you can't stand but is part of the family any how. There are other types.. but they covered it all pretty well there.

All in all every one has to be sane, well adjusted, open to communicating with everyone involved, and in it to support and love one another. < If relationship long term based >

Finding that in 2 people who get along is amazing... in more then that a miriacle.

So often < not just in the lifestyle but in all.> people seem to try to drag each other down in thier relationships. I am miserable, be miserable with me. Ever so often you run across someone or something uplifting that you wish you could share it with others.. and make them see how empowered they are and how wonderful they can be.. and how life can be such a blessing. That is what Poly has been for me.

It was not always so.... I tried to join a poly outside of my own.. and the head of it did not have control over who he set up as his primary. She lothed being a poly.. but put on a good face. It showed in all she did, and she made everyones life a living hell. Thankfuly after I left and he had some time to breathe and see realization dawned.

So yes there is good and bad.. but when you find the right people.. and you yourself are right it is wonderful.

I hope this helps,

Gwyn

You gotta be Ms. Right to find Mr. Right.

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/18/2007 9:13:06 PM

NControlofU

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It was my slave's desire, not my directive, to seek a bisexual sister slave or female submissive to join us. She asked me and we had a long discussion about it before I granted her permission to seek another bi female slave/sub for our family. I can play with anyone I want. I don't need to take on another slave or sub for my own benefit. It's for my slave's benefit that we seek another slave/sub to join us.

Poly isnt anything new. Triad and larger size relatioships have been around for a very long time and most of these relationships aren't involved in BDSM.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

This has been a subject of my personal pondering for some time now, but over the last few months, I see more and more submissives trolling for another submissive to join with them in serving their "Masters"

Most of the time, they do so under the direction of their "One".

What be your thoughts on the subject?

CP

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/18/2007 10:27:34 PM

KiandPhoenix

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

My only thought?

That if we were looking for another girl to help me serve Valyraen, I think I should be talking with them from step one. If I can't get along with them, they don't have a chance of joining me in serving him after all.

Total agreement from us. Unless you are approved by Phoenix, then you are not getting into our house. She has said that I am welcome to find another straight girl, or separate relationship, but my rules are that she must approve. If Phoenix did not approve of her, it would be like screaming for trouble in my current happy relationship. I wouldn't risk her happiness for anyone. I would rather go without than see her unhappy, and that is a MAJOR change in our lives. Being that big of a change means I should not make the decision without her consent of the new partner.

~Ki

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/19/2007 2:33:58 AM

heartcream

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quote:

CuriousLord

I can easily see a skilled trainer causing his females to submit to the point that they're not even prone to being a hastle due to their emotions, even when in a group. Still, such training does not seem to be an option for most dominants, as the great majority seem to lack the skill while the few who seem to have it would probably be unable to do so for all but a select population of slaves. (This is to say, finding and training a group of women to be drama-free is a rather difficult thing to do; not all men can do it, and it's likely that many women would be nearly impossible to train in such a manner.)

um yeah, that would be like dividing off their mind and getting rid of it. we are made of emotions, they are every bit a part of us, as our minds, hearts, and bodies.

women are not the originator's of 'drama' and if ya can just beat it out of em all ill be peaceful. women simply are not good at denial of feelings. for example, women face fear better then men in most cases because the level at which they cannot deny their feelings and stay cut-off. more times than not women are holding the males denials, often it is not even her own stuff she is experiencing 'drama' about. he doesnt want to see it. especially when it might trigger feelings of fear, or feelings of inadequacy in him. even grief and heartbreak can become a problem. the woman is lead to believe she needs to go around not triggering him in to his own emotions. if she does she will often receive the blame.

the fact that women have less ability to 'play the game' around the time of their period is actually a life saver. emotional expression needs acceptance and when it can express it furthers growth, understanding and healing far quicker than years and years of analytical therapy. the more acceptance, real acceptance for emotional expression in a safe way the less blockage when it comes up, therefore the maximum amount of all heart's desires to manifest.

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/19/2007 2:41:51 AM

xoxi

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Amen to that heartcream

I could never share the man I love with some other cunt, and I would be violently offended if he recommend I sleep with another man. A guy might beat me enough that I won't mention it, but that will not change my feelings whatsoever.

To Gwynvyd, this part of your post totally stuck with me:

quote:

It was not always so.... I tried to join a poly outside of my own.. and the head of it did not have control over who he set up as his primary. She lothed being a poly.. but put on a good face. It showed in all she did, and she made everyones life a living hell. Thankfuly after I left and he had some time to breathe and see realization dawned.

That pretty much describes how I would be if my man tried to convince me to be poly. I wouldn't break up with him over it if I loved him - I would leave that to him to decide if these other bitches were worth more to him than I was...but I would make it very clear to them that they were just secondary bitches whose bodies were there to amuse him and that I will never consider them anything but competition.

I'm totally happy for the people who are naturally inclined toward poly, but I could never be one of them. Sex in my mind is best when intimate, and intimacy is cheapened when shared with any cunt that casually asks for it. I can understand why a man would want variety, but the only way I could accept it in my own life is if he was very clear that I was the only one who mattered on any level, and was willing to deal with my jealousies and insecurities.

The minute he asks me to sleep with another man though...I'm SO gone.

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/19/2007 6:14:11 AM

SirCache

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
That if we were looking for another girl to help me serve Valyraen, I think I should be talking with them from step one. If I can't get along with them, they don't have a chance of joining me in serving him after all.

Totally agreed. My wife and I have the understanding--her idea--that I am able to find and take women as I desire them. The only requests she had was that she can meet them first and see if they get along, and that safe sexual practices be observed. I would never, ever go behind her back on this. A woman whose devotion, love, and submission is so giving like my wife has is worth more to me than anything else in the world.

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/19/2007 7:06:40 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

over it if I loved him - I would leave that to him to decide if these other bitches were worth more to him than I was...but I would make it very clear to them that they were just secondary bitches whose bodies were there to amuse him and that I will never consider them anything but competition.

If they are just secondary bitches whose bodies are only there to amuse him, where is the competition?

Course... the problem with making it into a competition is that sometimes the first girl loses... If I couldn't view the other woman more positively (not a sister but just more positively), I'd probably tell Valyraen that he can have me and only me, or mutiple girls without me.

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/19/2007 10:12:32 AM

CelticPrince

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violet,

seems that you have things pretty well balanced.

CP

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/19/2007 10:31:05 AM

CelticPrince

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heartcream,

Just curious as to why you refer to it as "the game"

CP

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/19/2007 11:40:13 AM

xoxi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

If they are just secondary bitches whose bodies are only there to amuse him, where is the competition?

The competition is that they exist in our relationship at all. In my mind it's me vs. cockroaches - they might keep coming as a whole, but they're still going to get stomped.

quote:

Course... the problem with making it into a competition is that sometimes the first girl loses... If I couldn't view the other woman more positively (not a sister but just more positively), I'd probably tell Valyraen that he can have me and only me, or mutiple girls without me.

Very true...which is why I said I would leave it up to him if they were more important than me. If a man doesn't want to be with me I am not going to beg him or try to convince him - I need to be wanted and desired.

I used to think I would just make that ultimatum but after thinking about it further I realized I wouldn't have to. I would just tell him that I want nothing to do with these other bitches, that there were certain limits I couldn't deal with (spending the night with some other bitch, buying her flowers because he liked her rather than because he was trying to get in her pants, talking to me about these bitches in any sort of positive way beyond "yeah this bitch I met yesterday was such a dumb slut", etc) and if he wanted me gone he could do any of those things and I would leave. Or he could leave me.

I would break up with a man for cheating and lying about it, but if he honestly told me that he needed to fuck other bitches, I would honestly tell him what I needed from him to make it work. Then it would be up to him if he could live like that, and if he couldn't, then he could be the one to leave me. Not the healthiest approach to "poly" but then again it's not something I'm pursuing

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/19/2007 12:08:55 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi
I used to think I would just make that ultimatum but after thinking about it further I realized I wouldn't have to. I would just tell him that I want nothing to do with these other bitches, that there were certain limits I couldn't deal with (spending the night with some other bitch, buying her flowers because he liked her rather than because he was trying to get in her pants, talking to me about these bitches in any sort of positive way beyond "yeah this bitch I met yesterday was such a dumb slut", etc) and if he wanted me gone he could do any of those things and I would leave. Or he could leave me.

I would break up with a man for cheating and lying about it, but if he honestly told me that he needed to fuck other bitches, I would honestly tell him what I needed from him to make it work. Then it would be up to him if he could live like that, and if he couldn't, then he could be the one to leave me. Not the healthiest approach to "poly" but then again it's not something I'm pursuing

I dunno... That just seems so... passive agressive to me. "Sure you can do it, but you can't talk to me about it and I'm going to talk trash about these women who I don't know anything about and pretend they are bitches and cunts". And just... mean to them. They didn't do anything to you. The man you are with just decided he wants more than one and you decided that he could - that doesn't automatically make these women bitches and cunts. By not saying "me or them" you give him permission to have these women in your relationship. It's not a competition because you made the choice to let them in.

I guess if I take the view that if I can't be nice about a situation and all I can add to something is bad feelings and cruel words, than I have no place in it. If nothing else, a man seeing that side of me could well cause him to decide that he is better off without me anyway. Then I have put myself, a man I supposedly love, and women who did nothing to me but believe me when I said that he could sleep with them through a lot of shit for nothing.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/19/2007 12:09:37 PM >

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/19/2007 12:53:05 PM

xoxi

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I totally see your point and agree that it's the mature thing to do if presented with a poly situation.

Actually if a man wanted actual "polyamory" - with emphasis on the 'amory' part I would slap him for not telling me before I fell in love, and just break up with him. I'm talking about guys who want to love me and only me, but enjoy sexual variety. In that case I would probably get off on the fact that my man was so hot he could use dumb sluts for sex, and in fact I might encourage him to talk about it...just to tell me how dumb and easy the other girl was. I could see myself being open to that

But yeah, if a man isn't turned on by my possessiveness we wouldn't work anyway. I love a possessive man, and I would love to go to a bar or club dressed to the nines and enjoy the fact that half the people there want us...but can't have us. I want to know that I belong to him, nobody else, and I would be bothered if he got off on me telling him how hot other men were. Most of my exes would have me talk about the dumb guys who flirted with me - One of my lovers told me "I love stupid men. They make me look even better." And that turned me on.

So yeah...I know in my heart that polyamory would never work for me. But seducing dumb sluts and laughing about it? Playing games of how many shots before the dumb blonde sucks you off in the men's room? Go for it, darling, and I will laugh with you. Just use protection, and make it very clear to her that you are very taken. Men are men...if they're going to have their fun I want to laugh about it too!

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/19/2007 1:08:22 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

I'm talking about guys who want to love me and only me, but enjoy sexual variety. In that case I would probably get off on the fact that my man was so hot he could use dumb sluts for sex, and in fact I might encourage him to talk about it...just to tell me how dumb and easy the other girl was. I could see myself being open to that

That I can understand because there are women who get off on pretending to be the dumb slut and the humilation. As long as everyone knows what is going on.

quote:

But seducing dumb sluts and laughing about it?

What about smart sluts?

We exist and I gotta tell ya.. it really sucks when some asshole fed you a bunch of lies just so they could fuck ya (is that what you mean by seduce?). That and I think feeding a woman booze just to get her blow you is pretty low.

Just playing devil's advocate because on the other hand.. those "dumb sluts" could very well be laughing about the fact that when they blew him he left them with the parting words of "You did that so much better than my girlfriend ever could".

I suppose I could see it all as making sense as long as the man in question was completely honest - no "you are so pretty, I really like you" bullshit. Nonconsenual emotional sadism is a big button for me and there are women who would get off on blowing him for their own sexual amusement and wouldn't care how dumb you thought they were because they got what they wanted and, if anything, would be laughing at you as well.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/19/2007 1:57:49 PM

xoxi

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Yeah exactly - I would trust him to make it clear that he was taken and this was just a fuck.

Heh...you know I was talking to someone about this in email yesterday...all this talk is making me think this might be sort of hot LOL

God save me if I develop a fetish for having my man seduce sluts.

Edited because I forgot - no by seduce I mean seduce...look in her eyes, dance with her...lying is not seduction. Seduction is being smooth and sexy and having them fantasize about you before you even make the move.

< Message edited by xoxi -- 9/19/2007 1:59:01 PM >

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RE: Is Poly a groing Segment of the Path - 9/19/2007 3:09:40 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

Edited because I forgot - no by seduce I mean seduce...look in her eyes, dance with her...lying is not seduction. Seduction is being smooth and sexy and having them fantasize about you before you even make the move.

*grins* I try to never assume. And as long as all the cards on the table... could always be a lot of fun!

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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