heartcream
Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
heartcream,
Just curious as to why you refer to it as "the game"
CP
what i mean, CP, is the way in our society we generally endorse certain behaviors and not others to varying degrees. some times it falls under the heading of 'politeness', or sometimes, 'not rocking the boat'. even being 'professional' can be like this. a sort of way we are encouraged to deny the way we really feel for some set procedure or something. for example if someone 'complains' about something, the reflection back might be, "suck it up." instead of listening to the point the other person is making. we 'work' on ourselves to become more polite, more professional instead of working on becoming real.
true, when emotional charge is built up the expression that may come out is not in proportion to the situation in that moment. this can cause problems. road rage is classic example of this. i personally love road rage, when i am in a car with someone and they have very snappy answers for who they are road raging at, i am usually busting a gut laffin while they are cursing and name-calling. i once saw a guy veer dangerously out of traffic to go hunt someone down who had triggered his road rage. that is very scary. but in a safe way road rage is a safe way to vent some rage in the privacy of your car. well, privacy at least for the sound part.
they say and i think it is true from my own observations, it is the men who never express rage, who always, 'keep it together' are the ones to look out for. it would be a case of the straw that broke the camel's back. i have know rage-driven men, the only emotion they seem to be okay with is expressing rage. they would never admit to fear or inadequacy, they just get pissed off if they feel it.
of course if we can balance out in a real and true way, it makes it easier to approach someone with an issue and not 'lose it.' but for that to be the only way to go around in the world is a bit much. some people cannot hide their true feelings as well as others. those folks tend to get blamed and pointed out as an example why not to be like that, you know, the girl who cries at the smallest misunderstanding. the truth tho is they are not much different at all but they are more transparent.
i am not saying lets all be really rude (altho as a waitress, i have often wanted at least one day a year where you could say whatever ya wanted and meant at the table instead of performing endless psychic blow-jobs, so to speak, to please them, not to annoy them, not be called rude, not get the manager involved, not get fired. not to let how retarded ya might think they are in human dealings, be at all apparent as you serve them food and take away their gross mess later. not to let it show how cheap and plain disgusting some folks can be. no, instead smile, "yes, right away, whatever you want, i am sorry i will get you another, blah blah blah" for their crappy or no tip. i have so much experience and i have seen there are people who go into a meal and set it up where they are automatically pissed off so they dont hafta feel like they gon give you one dime. it is hysterical and pathetic to watch. the trick is to not let on that you have a brain and are hip to the reality that they are freaking weirdo's. there is one guy -a dreaded bad regular who challenges me with the eye contact thing. he is 'searching' in my eyes to betray what a dick he is. he is high maintenance, needs extra every thing that is free. the dinner rolls need to be cut in half and put on the grill. i dont mind high maintenance, as long as ya are nice about it and tip me decent for doin it your way. everyone hates this guy cause for all his actin like a divo, he leaves less than 5% no matter what. no matter who serves him. we all squeak when we see him and his greedy wife coming. it is hard not to see or think about them and not have the word "loser" stamped all over the page. he would be fun to have in my section on National Waitron Day) i feel the natural state of most folks here on Earth is loving. we naturally treat each other well, have that intent. it is the game playing/mind-set/ belief system we condone that irks me.
example: one waitress saw me upset in the back of the restaurant about something to do with the floor plan and she wants to help. she said, "Look dont worry, the most important thing to do is to smile."
i said to her and felt kinda like a bitch for it later too, "thank you for your concern, that is nice of you to take the time to talk to me but no, i dont believe that, i believe the most important thing is to be real." i explained what i was upset about and said she would be too if it were her and she agreed.
yes we smile cause it is a service job. hopefully we make decent eye-contact and have some fine during the whole exchange. but faking it sux and many times it is faking it. this is what i mean. menstruating women often enough dont fake it as well. and then they get shit for it.
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