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RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 9:18:51 AM

Youresomine

Posts: 47
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

Ahhhh! Just read chewsie's reply. I didn't realize that you have never met the man. I would not advise getting actually "involved" in any meaningful way until you actually meet. Online people can be nothing like you imagine...you MUST know someone in person...cut and dry.

(in reply to Youresomine)

Post #: 41

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 9:39:25 AM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
If this is all on-line, just play along with the guy and get him all hot and bothered, thinking you have a sister slave to present to him. After a hot email or im exchange about it, drop the boom, block/ignore him. You can have some fun with this with very little effort.

In the beloved words of Mr. Burns:

"Ex-cellent"

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 42

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 9:53:37 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Nah, the girl's self-image is at stake here. She can't have that kind of fun at her 'masters' whim, it'd shatter her online fantasy.

Seriously girl. Until you two meet, he doesn't own you. You can feel it all you want, but without that steel on your neck, placed by his hands, you're just two cyber wankers. It's harsh, but at least you'll know you were warned when he moves on to some other online slut he never told you about.

My advice for couples looking to meet online; set a date to meet, stick to that date, and make it clear you're going to see other people in real time, until that date. Don't put your life 'on hold' for some fantasy relationship; incorporate a real relationship with the person you've met into your real life.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to BeingChewsie)

Post #: 43

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 10:18:02 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

spoilsport!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 44

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 11:23:52 AM

fifi

Posts: 25
Joined: 1/5/2004
Status: offline

Just when I thought I quite liked what you had to say, and be as harsh as you like because I respect that more. I don't know how you can say these things though, when you consider we are all on an online bdsm dating site, unless I'm mistaken. I'm here to find a dominant partner.

Its not an online fantasy! Please tell me how else you build trust and a relationship/friendship with another person, when you live at opposite ends of the country and work during the day. Its not something either of us wants, well at least I can speak on my part, I want real time and I fully intend on having it, I hoped it would be with Sir, but am a little confused.

My life isn't on hold, in fact its very active, with other interests and hobbies, as well as the usual vanilla stuff too.

Sometimes meeting someone online and chatting with them for a while, is a great way to communicate, talk about things bdsm and vanilla, build trust and have a great foundation to the relationship, before you even meet. I'm not thinking this has to go on for months and months, but when life can allow to meet then, this is what I fully intend to do.

If you have words of wisdom that can tell me how a dominant person you meet on an online bdsm dating/communtiy site can build a relationship without it resulting in some initial online communication, I would be all ears.

If I could meet Sir for a half an hour coffee everyday for the past few months I would have, but we are at least a 4 hour drive apart.

slave fi x

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Nah, the girl's self-image is at stake here. She can't have that kind of fun at her 'masters' whim, it'd shatter her online fantasy.

Seriously girl. Until you two meet, he doesn't own you. You can feel it all you want, but without that steel on your neck, placed by his hands, you're just two cyber wankers. It's harsh, but at least you'll know you were warned when he moves on to some other online slut he never told you about.

My advice for couples looking to meet online; set a date to meet, stick to that date, and make it clear you're going to see other people in real time, until that date. Don't put your life 'on hold' for some fantasy relationship; incorporate a real relationship with the person you've met into your real life.

Stephan

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 45

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 12:17:14 PM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

I've not read the entire thread, so forgive me if I'm echoing in my statements.

Also, what I say may come across as a bit callous. Feel free to rail me for being a cold-hearted bitch, but there really is no nice way to say some things.

I'm going to emphasize the statements that stick out to me.

quote:

Sir has very limited time for his slave at the moment.(family emergency) This is a relationship based online, until such time as we can meet.

<snip>

Sir said he wanted me to find Sir another slave. This was to help me as a newbie to learn how I should act and behave, Sir may also use this slave sexually and expects me to do as I'm instructed. (I'm not bi or really interested in other women.)

So I thought about this for a while, Sir likes the idea of a poly relationship.don't think I could cope with watching or knowing Sir was using another slave sexually,its not about not wanting Sir to be happy, I just know this kind of thing would really mess me up in the head. As well as the fact that Sir would want for me to have to do sexually things with another woman. ( I realise to some Master/Sirs that this is putting my own needs above Sir's)

<snip>

What I'm not really sure about was, whether Sir just wanted to see how much I would be willing to embrace something that Sir would enjoy? Regardless if I didn't and in doing so, would put Sir's needs above my own thoughts and feelings? Whether Sir just wanted me to learn more from a female slave prespective? and to understand more about how I should behave? Or Sir was completely serious and wanted another slave?

<snip>

I'm also concerned that when getting another slave involved and promising meetings and play, and then for Sir and this slave to be so happy, with me sat there feeling like crap. Its not just going to mess with my head, its going to mess with everyones head.

Okay, so in summary, you're in an online relationship with someone you've not met in person. Before your current relationship has even really been established, your 'Sir' wants you to find another person to bring into the fold.You're not sure how you feel about poly (understandable), and you are not interested in women sexually. Your Sir seems to be interested in directing you to do things with other women, despite your lack of desire. You are wondering about your own needs, and how important they are. Whether your should protect your interests, or go along with things you are not comfortable with for the sake of someone else.

Am I missing anything here?

The first thing that jumps out in my mind is DANGER: WILL ROBINSON!!!!

Sweetheart, I understand you have a strong desire to please but lets be realistic here. You're reaching here, you're reaching really bloody far. First off, you are responsible for making sure your needs are met. Yes, its wonderful and lovely if your able to trust someone to take your needs into account, and trust that they will do what is in your best interest. But the bottom line is, it takes time to build that kind of trust and regardless, you are responsible for making sure what you are engaging in, really is in your best interest. Respecting and caring about the needs and desires of someone else does not mean that your own needs cease to exist. You're damn tootin' you should be protecting your own interests, you haven't even met this person!

As for all the questions you have, those are things you should discuss with this person. But before you even worry about all that, I'd really stop and think seriously about what you have going on here. You seem to be very devoted to something that isn't even at all tangible. Before you can even think about adding other people, you need a relationship that has a strong foundation. Right now, I'm not even seeing a relationship, I'm seeing a fantasy train headed for disaster. Given your statements about this situation messing with your head, and anyone you may bring into it, I think on some level, you realize it too.

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 46

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 12:26:56 PM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

How can a person you have -never- met be your dom? See this is how people get manipulated and twisted, and its a choice. One you can choose to not make.

Don't be desperate for a relationship

You're my hero.

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to BeingChewsie)

Post #: 47

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 12:32:43 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

If he don't have time for one slave, as you've said he don't he has no business trying to get another one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fifi

Sir has very limited time for his slave at the moment.(family emergency) This is a relationship based online, until such time as we can meet.

I agreed to do my best, and Sir said he wanted me to find Sir another slave.

slave fi x

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 48

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 12:35:46 PM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

Dear fifi:

A wise person once told me one truth for which i have yet to find an exception: "For that which is truly important, time and money will be found."

Before the flames are fired, of course it is possible for more than one thing to be important but in the end, priorities are always set by what is more important.

Four hours? Oh perish the thought!! i have met a total of ONE Dom who lived less than an hour away with the majority of the Dominants i have served having lived 3 - 5 hours' drive away and those relationships were real, in person, every-other weekend relationships. One lasting 2 years. My current Dominant, soon to be Master found a way for us to spend real time together within a month after meeting online and we live 500 miles apart. i will be flying to see Him again in 2 weeks. It happened because it was important to both of us.

Yes, they started online. But i never once served online. Not ever. The internet was just a way to connect initially. Anyone i have talked to online and they have no priority to meet in person and i'm outta there...a huge waste of my time. The really cool thing about sticking to a "meet in person before i agree to serve" attitude is that i have real life experiences and i have had real joy and purpose in my service.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 49

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 1:53:37 PM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

I met R almost a decade ago online. He lived on the West Coast and I lived on the East Coast. He wasn't my "sir" or my "master" while we chatted online or on the phone. We set a date, we took vacation time, I packed and took a plane to the OC, we met. A few months later we met again and so on until I moved. We managed to build a solid foundation for a relationship without me submitting to pixels on a screen with 3000 miles and a 5.5 hour plane ride between us. There is a difference between gettng to know someone online, talking/chatting/sharing and deciding you are a slave to man you have never met. You might want to learn the difference, it will make your experience a better and more enjoyable one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fifi

Just when I thought I quite liked what you had to say, and be as harsh as you like because I respect that more. I don't know how you can say these things though, when you consider we are all on an online bdsm dating site, unless I'm mistaken. I'm here to find a dominant partner.

Its not an online fantasy! Please tell me how else you build trust and a relationship/friendship with another person, when you live at opposite ends of the country and work during the day. Its not something either of us wants, well at least I can speak on my part, I want real time and I fully intend on having it, I hoped it would be with Sir, but am a little confused.

My life isn't on hold, in fact its very active, with other interests and hobbies, as well as the usual vanilla stuff too.

Sometimes meeting someone online and chatting with them for a while, is a great way to communicate, talk about things bdsm and vanilla, build trust and have a great foundation to the relationship, before you even meet. I'm not thinking this has to go on for months and months, but when life can allow to meet then, this is what I fully intend to do.

If you have words of wisdom that can tell me how a dominant person you meet on an online bdsm dating/communtiy site can build a relationship without it resulting in some initial online communication, I would be all ears.

If I could meet Sir for a half an hour coffee everyday for the past few months I would have, but we are at least a 4 hour drive apart.

slave fi x

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Nah, the girl's self-image is at stake here. She can't have that kind of fun at her 'masters' whim, it'd shatter her online fantasy.

Seriously girl. Until you two meet, he doesn't own you. You can feel it all you want, but without that steel on your neck, placed by his hands, you're just two cyber wankers. It's harsh, but at least you'll know you were warned when he moves on to some other online slut he never told you about.

My advice for couples looking to meet online; set a date to meet, stick to that date, and make it clear you're going to see other people in real time, until that date. Don't put your life 'on hold' for some fantasy relationship; incorporate a real relationship with the person you've met into your real life.

Stephan

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 50

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 3:46:29 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Pictures from someone on the internet isn't proof of anything, I could steal any old picture from any old site and pass it off as me and nobdy but those who know me personally would know any diffrent.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fifi

I can send you a piccy of me if you would like some form of proof.Fi x

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 51

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 6:55:58 PM

InkedMaster

Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

So let me get this straight, he wants you to find him another slave he won't have time for?

Is it just me?

_____________________________

TOURETTE SYNDROME: It's no mother f*cking joke, you God d*mn c*ck sucking f*ck!

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy

-Owner of eyesopened- and damn PROUD of her!

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 52

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 7:05:55 PM

purepleasure

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

It's a shame that the OP's profile is no longer found.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 53

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 7:17:50 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I agreed to do my best, and Sir said he wanted me to find Sir another slave. This was to help me as a newbie to learn how I should act and behave

NO, this is the old man's way of pulling the wool over your eyes.

He's trolling for a harem and now he's got you to do it for him

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 54

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 9:52:34 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I just want to say I find Focus' font totally dreamy.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 55

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/19/2007 10:54:41 PM

KiandPhoenix

Posts: 205
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline

Sounds like you have found yourself a hard limit. . .poly. Nothing wrong with that. Add it to your list of things you have as limits to discuss before accepting the next master.

I have certain beliefs.

1. A gamer should only marry another gamer.

2. A poly person should only be with poly people who are of compatible beliefs on the subject.

3. There are monsters under my bed, but that’s OK because my friends from the other dimension (my stuffed animals) will kick the shit out of them if they try anything while I am asleep.

~Ki
P.S. I don’t believe there are monsters under my bed. My stuffed animals probably scared them away long before I thought to look for them.

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 56

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/20/2007 12:03:35 AM

beautyImurDaddy

Posts: 58
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline

Ok, am i the only one who hears Brad Paisley's "Online" playing in the background while reading this?

I work down at the pizza pit and I drive and old Hundai
I still live with my mom and dad, I'm 5'3 and overweight

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online

Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

Basically, I would have to agree with what has already been said. You need to ensure the stability of the primary relationship before considering bringing a third into it. Just as LuckyAlbatross' tag line says.... Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

I could go along with this whole "find a sub for companionship and mentoring" aspect of it... but for him to say that he desires it to be sexual, basically blows that theory out of the water. I have met many people over the years that have met face to face... even lived with people for a while... only to realize that it was a mistake. It happens in nilla relationships and it happens in life in general. If he is looking for a "back up plan" in case it doesnt work with you... then he should be the one taking the time... no you wasting yours. We are also poly. But Daddy has been stationed overseas. To even consider adding another to our "family" when he obviously can not devote the time necessary to the relationship would be a joke and completely unfair to the other party involved. If you honestly feel that this relationship is "worth it" then i would suggest perhaps mentioning that now may not be the best time and that after life has settled a bit you can search for someone together. To me, even as well as i know Daddy, who am i to tell him what he needs? There are many out there who just want the "bragging rights" so say they own multiple subs/slaves without having any idea of what is truly involved in it. Is this someone he wants living in the house with you? someone he expects you to be intimate with? will she bare his collar or only be seen as a "play partner" What are his expectations of the relationship? does he expect this to be a closed triad or open relationship? Does he have certain physical/aesthetic qualities? is he seeking someone to fill the voids presented by your own personal hard limits? The questions are endless and until a majority of them are answered, I dont see how you can even begin to seek out a third.

(in reply to KiandPhoenix)

Post #: 57

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/20/2007 7:08:38 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: InkedMaster

So let me get this straight, he wants you to find him another slave he won't have time for?

Is it just me?

Nope..it isn't just you....Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to InkedMaster)

Post #: 58

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/21/2007 4:28:24 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I just want to say I find Focus' font totally dreamy.

Hmmm, either you really meant to say:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I just want to say I find Focus totally dreamy.

ORRRRRRRRRRR....

Your comment really is something to do with my font colour and I'm getting flashbacks of one *Emerald* Slave, whose main pic featured your identical twin sister wearing a striking green dress.

Riiiiiiiiight, as if it'd be the latter....

Focus.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 59

RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/21/2007 4:59:44 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
So, what is it that "probably" makes you right

That is beside the purpose of this thread, as is this discussion.

And yet it's you who introduced it, not I....

quote:

I might have revised my assessment if the OP had an active profile. Thus far there are only two new bits of data that indicate that I may be wrong: the denial by the OP and the fact that the OP has not disappeared already.

That's it? That's your evidence for casting dispersions on the OP???? And you don't think that's offensive? I reckon one in four profiles I access from these Forums comes up as "Profile Not Found"! <shrugs>

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
the real offense is my preferred font colour, izzat it?

quote:

I take that back and offer my apology. I was wrong to say so. (You may print that out and frame it and hang it on the wall, because I am almost never wrong.)

Naaah, my trophy wall is way too crowded as is..... Pride of place is once being called a "Francophilic Xenophobic Isolationist" from this very Forum - I still chuckle about that one....

Focus.

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 60

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