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RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 9/21/2007 5:45:53 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fifi

Sometimes meeting someone online and chatting with them for a while, is a great way to communicate, talk about things bdsm and vanilla, build trust and have a great foundation to the relationship, before you even meet. If I could meet Sir for a half an hour coffee everyday for the past few months I would have, but we are at least a 4 hour drive apart.

So you wait two weeks or so until you're sure he's got possibilities and then you ask him if he can meet you half way on either this Saturday or the next. If he wants to meet but Saturday is a bad day, then he'll ask if Sunday works instead. You leave at 9, meet for brunch around 11. If things go well, you go for a walk until 3 or 4 and then drive home.

Hell if things go really well, you get a hotel room for Saturday night and go at it like a pair of bunnies. Just remember to pack condoms.

But if he can't ever drive two hours on a weekend, then he either isn't available or he isn't interested. Because an unmarried man could arrange to miss his weekly tennis game on Saturday morning for one week. If he really wanted to.

(in reply to fifi)

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RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 10/13/2007 10:43:01 AM

SumterDom

Posts: 60
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline

Hello fifi,
I have not reviewed all the posts between your original one and the last so I hope I'm not repeating points that have already posted...

First I've never personally understood the concept of "Masters" having their slaves/submissives locating additional slaves/submissive for them. My first reaction is that they don't have the balls to do it themselves. I imagine that is not the case in all istances I've heard of but...

My thoughts on your situation as you've presented it is did you find out he had a poly inclination before becoming his slave? I feel way too many "submissives" jump from just entering the D/s world to suddenly accepting a collar...and many within hours of arriving here?! Point being, you cannot get to know sufficient information about a person in a short period of time.

Now if he did share his inclination with you, maybe you accepted thinking you might grow into accepting it eventually. First you need to be very honest with yourself before all others. If you can not accept something a "master" proposes, then make that known, negotiate it if possible, and either accept it or don't, and move on.

If one accepts a collar and a subject such as poly comes up, or anything else one might have a problem with, then they have to ask the tough questions...
Am I willing to do so, and grow to it? Or nor?

To me, my sub better determine everything about me before a collar is offered, and accepted. Once the collar is accepted then I fully expect them to perfom any task, chore, or choices I make and to embrace it as much as possible and to do their absolute best in doing so.

If they refuse then the issue is discussed. If her reality remains then she is uncollared so she may seek another more suitable to her needs and wants.

I would also expect them to realize such and ask for release too.

Maybe a little off track but I hope it aids you in your situation...and future.

SD
Edited for freakin' typos!

< Message edited by SumterDom -- 10/13/2007 10:48:27 AM >

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RE: New task from Sir and confused... - 10/13/2007 6:12:10 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

He can't be bothered to meet you but he wants you to find him someone he will meet and fuck? And he's assuming that once he gets that, then he can command you to have sex with the other girl?

You know, normally people discuss monogamy and polyamory upfront. Since he managed to not discuss that with you then, this is the time for you to say hard limit.

Oh, and his limited time due to family? That means his wife keeps close tabs on him.

Dead on, Celeste!

Make me: +1

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Post #: 63