RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to?

RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (Full Version)

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johnxinxscruz -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 3:30:43 AM)
I send messages with whatever is on my mind after having read their profile (yes, I read them). Sometimes it's a one line question based on their profile or journal. Sometimes it's a lot more. And, as much as some might judge the sender by their short answer, don't forget that the sender is judging you by your response as well. Even if I just send "hi", a lack of response indicates to me that they don't have decent manners. In that case, I just put the rude person on my hidden list and move on. (and, by move on, I don't mean "move on to the next person to try to seduce", I'm in a relationship, all I'm looking for is like minded friends) If I get a response from them much later, then it's easy to take them off of the hidden list and start up the conversation from that point. But, really, even a form letter saying "I get too much email, sorry I wont be responding in depth" is orders of magnitude less rude than no response at all. Similarly, I answer anything that isn't an obvious scam. Though, the funniest interaction I had was with a person who had several spiritual things in their interest list, and their "looking for" indicated that they were seeking friends (as well as other things). So, when I sent them a long thought out letter trying to start a discussion about their spiritual interests, and how the view them as interacting (or not interacting) with BDSM ... I got back an angry dismissive letter that they didn't have time for friendships nor to discuss spirituality. But, the point I'm getting to is: to require "more than just a hi" as a means of trying to ensure genuine/sincere interaction is just silly. If you want genuine/sincere interaction with people, then you have to allow for genuine/sincere interaction ... which might include just starting with a simple hi. Further, there are people here on collarme who do NOT want a long introduction message, so trying to pigeonhole all meaningful conversation into one format ("it's all longer than one sentence" or "it's all shorter than 3 paragraphs") is just silly. Generally when I see that in a profile ("don't send me just a hi", or something like it), unless something else in their profile really impresses me, I write the person off as not worth the time to get to know them. They're clearly not interested in genuine conversation. If you want a real conversation, then just say that. If you're getting too much email to respond to all of it, then just say THAT (instead of saying "don't send me just a hi"). But, if you want a real conversation or meaningful interaction, don't dismiss real conversations that just happen to start with a lone "hi".

MsLilac -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 3:32:04 AM)
I see the point that in a public setting, that most people start with ‘hi’, ‘hello’ etc. But, actually, when we do that with people, we have some sort of planned route of conversation, no matter how vague it is on our heads. I don’t think most people go around randomly saying hi to everyone (well, maybe when drunk lol). A lot of the ‘hi’ mails I have gotten online, are men are just shooting off random messages, and normally in hopes of me picking up the convo. My thought when I was looking, was, if one is going to solicit me for conversation, well, have something you want to talk about and peak my interest with! Lol. When I get them on here, they are mainly from men who obviously haven’t read my profile. It is kind of funny that when I point out I am not looking, or not willing to discuss topics they want, they loose interest in their ‘friendly chat’very quickly. But, occasionally I get those ‘hi’ messages from someone who has a great profile, or has some interesting things to say in there journal etc. If I feel we may have something to talk about, then sure I’ll respond. But mainly, those ‘hi’ mails are from men with very little or nothing in their profile, except maybe the form list of what they are actively seeking. I do not generally respond to these types, as I think it‘s obvious what they are seeking. I have on occasions, in a very tongue in cheek way, replied with “hi” back. I’ve never gotten anything worthwhile in return. Actually, I once did this with a guy, who just sent a reply back to mine with another “hi”. Lol. I think, even if it is only a sentence or two, just picking up on something that was mentioned in the profile, journal, on the boards etc - regardless of whether one is just after friendly chat, or trying to impress a potential, is a great, or probably more effective way to go, than a plain ‘hi’.

johnxinxscruz -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 3:38:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RumpusParable If all they send me is "hi" it's not only likely that I won't respond, but also that I'll block them. If they can't even write a sentence they're not worth my time. I would counter that if you're too rude to respond to a genuine hi, then you're not worth their time, either.

xoxi -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 3:42:17 AM)
One more thing I'd like to add - in my profile it asks someone to tell me their favorite color so I know they bothered to read the whole thing. I will be far more likely to reply to "green" (or red, blue, black or anything else) than I would to 'hi' because in my mind 'hi' means nice pics. Not interesting profile.

GoldStallion -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 3:49:18 AM)
I think lots of hi's must be a mass emailing approach - I cant just say hi. I have to put something a bit more than hi, something that either tests for a (compatible) sense of humour, (which I either dont have or there are some angry bees out there!!) or is setting up a next step "hi, read your profile you look interesting message me if you fancy a chat", and I DO read the profiles. Often past the second line. I do it to put my profile on their radar, as far as I am concerned if my first message gets them to check me out, then I succeeded. If they dont want to reply after that, then I also succeeded. If someone sends me Hi I would check their profile and I would definitely send more than Hi back, because they have already given by making contact, and I believe if you give you receive more back. Also I like being abundant, if I have the time, energy and creative impulse - abundance creates greater abundance. An exception would be if they were into chatting to people they want to cook later.( I wouldnt trust a total stranger to cook me dinner, so why trust them to cook me?). No one has ever sent me just "hi" though. Or said they want to cook me. But I bet they have thought about it. Does it waste time to reply? Not as much as the time your gonna waste if they would have turned out to be what you need. Also you are going to learn something about something, even if its that they are not worth your time. Hi is definitely better in real life than online, its the all time best chat up line and it tests for social incompetance.

Phoenixandnika -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 4:06:11 AM)
I typically do not respond to "hi" e-mails and IF someone took the time to read my profile in its entirety they would know that because it clearly states we do not respond to one line e-mails. Nika

AquaticSub -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 4:17:16 AM)
~Fast Reply~ I don't think so. All my chance meetings involve more than a "hi". It may not be much more than a hi, but something. Like "Hi, you have nice earrings" or "Hi, that is a neat bag you have" or "Hi, how are you doing?". It isn't hard to type out a few extra words to make a question. When I e-mail someone, I take the time to tell them why I think I might fit their preferences and ask them a very questions. I don't see e-mailing back and forth as being similar to a conversation on the street but like actual letters (in the day of snail mail). Maybe I'm old-fashioned that way, but if you can not give me anything more than two key-strokes I simply won't respond.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 4:22:48 AM)
personally i would expect something more than just "hi" especially when i send messages that include much more than "hi" though not expecting a reply back. if i like their profile, the sender has a 5% chance of me responding back ...if it doesn't appeal to me, then that 95% rate of deleting after reading the message kicks in.

TotalState -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 4:32:27 AM)
90% of the "hi" posts that my sub gets are from guys who have no posts, limited or no profiles and quite often attempting the 'shotgun approach' (where they send out a bunch of the same or minimally altered messages to a bunch of people in hopes of getting a response). Heck, I've even had a couple myself, which I surely didn't expect as a dom who has 'friends only' in his profile. I'd bet a considerable amount that these are the same kind of people that post every week on Craigslist (with or without a penis picture), and treat these boards in the same manner. Nothing really wrong with that, I suppose, but if I were looking for someone, I'd be much more interested in someone who clearly wrote the message after reading my profile. And since there is no dearth of people doing just that, why should we ever respond to anything other than that?

TNstepsout -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 4:58:45 AM)
I usually don't bother. The few times that I have usually resulted in responses that were equally insufficient. It seems that those who can't seem to come up with more than a "hi" to introduce themselves rarely manage to have more than one word responses to conversation. It's pretty frustrating trying to get to know someone this way.

pearlmoongirl -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 5:09:56 AM)
I have learned that "hi" is not a good beginning. It means this person usually hasn't even read my profile. Also, I have to say, I am turning out to be a snob about things like complete sentences and even capitalization. I guess I can't help it. I'm a writer. Also, I think of it like this: I want a Dom with focus, precision, and a good attention span. Someone who can't or won't even use the Shift key properly is presenting themselves as the type of person who doesn't have these qualities. It's the SHIFT key, for Goddess' sake! Just press down with your pinky!! [:D] Rant concluded. Have a happy Friday, everybody - ~pmg

greyarcher315 -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 6:06:57 AM)
i look at it this way, with all the people out there trying to get a Domme's attention, i need to send more that a one liner, i have to send something to make me stand out. And seeing how importent communication is in this lifestyle, i would think demostrating that ability would be a good thing.

SultryMomma -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 6:15:39 AM)
Normally I won't respond to just "Hi", especially if it comes in "blue". It shows me that they have not read my profile and see's that it states no males. Normally I will just delete and go on. SM

MasterMataeo -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 7:48:14 AM)
yeah i would think that it is enough to respond to,,, unless you ask for them to write certian things outlined in your profile,,, MM

SirCache -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 8:04:41 AM)
For me... no, it would not be enough, unless their profile was absolutely glowing. I don't believe in sending small, impersonal notes to someone, it lacks effort and for me if a woman is worth the effort she must always be worth the effort--regardless of whether my notes are read, rejected, or never answered. Personally, I take great joy when someone reads my profile, and has questions that they want to ask when they write to me. I love it when people ask me questions about my profile--it makes me feel they have taken the time to read it and that represents the desire of someone to invest in me. I always answer people that demonstrate the desire to invest in me with a polite return of their correspondance.

velvetears -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 8:07:41 AM)
FR Yes, no response. If they don't even have the courtesy to say more then hi, why bother to respond at all. Let your silence tell them more then what your words can.

LaTigresse -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 8:14:38 AM)
Depends on my mood and how busy I am at the moment. Sometimes I will reply with a "hello"....other times I just hit delete.

RRafe -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 8:17:19 AM)
I dunno. I guess I could also say in my profile-"If interested, send me a naked picture of you in diapers." [:D]

windchymes -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 8:19:39 AM)
I've noticed that more of the "hi" openings come right after I've logged in. I've suspected that many of them are from people new to the site, they see the list of people on the home page who are on the site "now", and they think they're starting a live conversation.

mrdpettigrew -> RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? (9/21/2007 8:43:14 AM)
someone pointed out about hi being waht we say when we meet in the real world and it is fact here most want much longer so waht are profiles for . do they not contain all the infor needed to determin weateher there is a thing worth persueing . you should see waht you get back if you send your profile instead of a one liner so you know they at least read it before making a decission but hay profiles are to long to bother with for many so were is the middle. if good looking female to amny replies if older guy not many if fat not many all based on not words but pic so go figure. kind of like the admierier list people put tehm on theirs and then if you respond they block .

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