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RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 3:30:43 AM   
johnxinxscruz


Posts: 53
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		I send messages with whatever is on my mind after having read their profile (yes, I read them). Sometimes it's a one line question based on their profile or journal. Sometimes it's a lot more. And, as much as some might judge the sender by their short answer, don't forget that the sender is judging you by your response as well.

Even if I just send "hi", a lack of response indicates to me that they don't have decent manners. In that case, I just put the rude person on my hidden list and move on. (and, by move on, I don't mean "move on to the next person to try to seduce", I'm in a relationship, all I'm looking for is like minded friends) If I get a response from them much later, then it's easy to take them off of the hidden list and start up the conversation from that point. But, really, even a form letter saying "I get too much email, sorry I wont be responding in depth" is orders of magnitude less rude than no response at all.

Similarly, I answer anything that isn't an obvious scam.

Though, the funniest interaction I had was with a person who had several spiritual things in their interest list, and their "looking for" indicated that they were seeking friends (as well as other things). So, when I sent them a long thought out letter trying to start a discussion about their spiritual interests, and how the view them as interacting (or not interacting) with BDSM ... I got back an angry dismissive letter that they didn't have time for friendships nor to discuss spirituality.

But, the point I'm getting to is: to require "more than just a hi" as a means of trying to ensure genuine/sincere interaction is just silly. If you want genuine/sincere interaction with people, then you have to allow for genuine/sincere interaction ... which might include just starting with a simple hi. Further, there are people here on collarme who do NOT want a long introduction message, so trying to pigeonhole all meaningful conversation into one format ("it's all longer than one sentence" or "it's all shorter than 3 paragraphs") is just silly.

Generally when I see that in a profile ("don't send me just a hi", or something like it), unless something else in their profile really impresses me, I write the person off as not worth the time to get to know them. They're clearly not interested in genuine conversation.

If you want a real conversation, then just say that. If you're getting too much email to respond to all of it, then just say THAT (instead of saying "don't send me just a hi"). But, if you want a real conversation or meaningful interaction, don't dismiss real conversations that just happen to start with a lone "hi".


< Message edited by johnxinxscruz -- 9/21/2007 3:35:29 AM >

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 3:32:04 AM   
MsLilac


Posts: 151
Joined: 5/31/2007
Status: offline 		I see the point that in a public setting, that most people start with ‘hi’, ‘hello’ etc. But, actually, when we do that with people, we have some sort of planned route of conversation, no matter how vague it is on our heads. I don’t think most people go around randomly saying hi to everyone (well, maybe when drunk lol). A lot of the ‘hi’ mails I have gotten online, are men are just shooting off random messages, and normally in hopes of me picking up the convo. My thought when I was looking, was, if one is going to solicit me for conversation, well, have something you want to talk about and peak my interest with! Lol.

When I get them on here, they are mainly from men who obviously haven’t read my profile. It is kind of funny that when I point out I am not looking, or not willing to discuss topics they want, they loose interest in their ‘friendly chat’very quickly.

But, occasionally I get those ‘hi’ messages from someone who has a great profile, or has some interesting things to say in there journal etc. If I feel we may have something to talk about, then sure I’ll respond. But mainly, those ‘hi’ mails are from men with very little or nothing in their profile, except maybe the form list of what they are actively seeking. I do not generally respond to these types, as I think it‘s obvious what they are seeking. I have on occasions, in a very tongue in cheek way, replied with “hi” back. I’ve never gotten anything worthwhile in return. Actually, I once did this with a guy, who just sent a reply back to mine with another “hi”. Lol.

I think, even if it is only a sentence or two, just picking up on something that was mentioned in the profile, journal, on the boards etc - regardless of whether one is just after friendly chat, or trying to impress a potential, is a great, or probably more effective way to go, than a plain ‘hi’.

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RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 3:38:18 AM   
johnxinxscruz


Posts: 53
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable
If all they send me is "hi" it's not only likely that I won't respond, but also that I'll block them. If they can't even write a sentence they're not worth my time.


I would counter that if you're too rude to respond to a genuine hi, then you're not worth their time, either.


(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 3:42:17 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		One more thing I'd like to add - in my profile it asks someone to tell me their favorite color so I know they bothered to read the whole thing.

I will be far more likely to reply to "green" (or red, blue, black or anything else) than I would to 'hi' because in my mind 'hi' means nice pics.  Not interesting profile.

(in reply to johnxinxscruz)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 3:49:18 AM   
GoldStallion


Posts: 68
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		I think lots of hi's must be a mass emailing approach - I cant just say hi. I have to put something a bit more than hi, something that either tests for a (compatible) sense of humour,  (which I either dont have or there are some angry bees out there!!) or is setting up a next step "hi, read your profile you look interesting message me if you fancy a chat", and I DO read the profiles. Often past the second line.

I do it to put my profile on their radar, as far as I am concerned if my first message gets them to check me out, then I succeeded. If they dont want to reply after that, then I also succeeded.

If someone sends me Hi I would check their profile and I would definitely send more than Hi back, because they have already given by making contact, and I believe if you give you receive more back. Also I like being abundant, if I have the time, energy and creative impulse - abundance creates greater abundance.  An exception would be if they were into chatting to people they want to cook later.( I wouldnt trust a total stranger to cook me dinner, so why trust them to cook me?).  No one has ever sent me just "hi" though. Or said they want to cook me. But I bet they have thought about it.
 
Does it waste time to reply? Not as much as the time your gonna waste if they would have turned out to be what you need. Also you are going to learn something about something, even if its that they are not worth your time.

Hi is definitely better in real life than online, its the all time best chat up line and it tests for social incompetance.


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You can lead an idiot to knowledge, but you cant make them think.


(in reply to xoxi)
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RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 4:06:11 AM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
I typically do not respond to "hi" e-mails and IF someone took the time to read my profile in its entirety they would know that because it clearly states we do not respond to one line e-mails.
 
Nika


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(in reply to GoldStallion)
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RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 4:17:16 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

I don't think so. All my chance meetings involve more than a "hi". It may not be much more than a hi, but something. Like "Hi, you have nice earrings" or "Hi, that is a neat bag you have" or "Hi, how are you doing?".

It isn't hard to type out a few extra words to make a question. When I e-mail someone, I take the time to tell them why I think I might fit their preferences and ask them a very questions. I don't see e-mailing back and forth as being similar to a conversation on the street but like actual letters (in the day of snail mail). Maybe I'm old-fashioned that way, but if you can not give me anything more than two key-strokes I simply won't respond.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 4:22:48 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		personally i would expect something more than just "hi" especially when i send messages that include much more than "hi" though not expecting a reply back.

if i like their profile, the sender has a 5% chance of me responding back ...if it doesn't appeal to me, then that 95% rate of deleting after reading the message kicks in.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 9/21/2007 4:23:46 AM >

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(in reply to laurell3)
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RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 4:32:27 AM   
TotalState


Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline 		90% of the "hi" posts that my sub gets are from guys who have no posts, limited or no profiles and quite often attempting the 'shotgun approach' (where they send out a bunch of the same or minimally altered messages to a bunch of people in hopes of getting a response).  Heck, I've even had a couple myself, which I surely didn't expect as a dom who has 'friends only' in his profile.

I'd bet a considerable amount that these are the same kind of people that post every week on Craigslist (with or without a penis picture), and treat these boards in the same manner.  Nothing really wrong with that, I suppose, but if I were looking for someone, I'd be much more interested in someone who clearly wrote the message after reading my profile.  And since there is no dearth of people doing just that, why should we ever respond to anything other than that? 


_____________________________

Spanking with a smile, living with feeling.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
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RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 4:58:45 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I usually don't bother. The few times that I have usually resulted in responses that were equally insufficient. It seems that those who can't seem to come up with more than a "hi" to introduce themselves rarely manage to have more than one word responses to conversation. It's pretty frustrating trying to get to know someone this way.

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 5:09:56 AM   
pearlmoongirl


Posts: 68
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
I have learned that "hi" is not a good beginning. It means this person usually hasn't even read my profile.

Also, I have to say, I am turning out to be a snob about things like complete sentences and even capitalization. I guess I can't help it. I'm a writer. Also, I think of it like this: I want a Dom with focus, precision, and a good attention span. Someone who can't or won't even use the Shift key properly is presenting themselves as the type of person who doesn't have these qualities. It's the SHIFT key, for Goddess' sake! Just press down with your pinky!!

Rant concluded. Have a happy Friday, everybody -
~pmg

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 6:06:57 AM   
greyarcher315


Posts: 99
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline 		  i look at it this way, with all the people out there trying to get a Domme's attention, i need to send more that a one liner, i have to send something to make me stand out. And seeing how importent communication is in this lifestyle, i would think demostrating that ability would be a good thing.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 6:15:39 AM   
SultryMomma


Posts: 48
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline 		Normally I won't respond to just "Hi", especially if it comes in "blue". It shows me that they have not read my profile and see's that it states no males. Normally I will just delete and go on.

SM

(in reply to greyarcher315)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 7:48:14 AM   
MasterMataeo


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline 		yeah i would think that it is enough to respond to,,,
unless you ask for them to write  certian things  outlined in your profile,,,

MM

_____________________________

remember the Four corners: Communication, Honesty, Respect , and Trust

Try anything Once, Twice if you like it, Three times to make sure, four makes it a habit, and five makes it's a fetish.


(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 8:04:41 AM   
SirCache


Posts: 159
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline 		For me... no, it would not be enough, unless their profile was absolutely glowing.  I don't believe in sending small, impersonal notes to someone, it lacks effort and for me if a woman is worth the effort she must always be worth the effort--regardless of whether my notes are read, rejected, or never answered.  Personally, I take great joy when someone reads my profile, and has questions that they want to ask when they write to me.  I love it when people ask me questions about my profile--it makes me feel they have taken the time to read it and that represents the desire of someone to invest in me.

I always answer people that demonstrate the desire to invest in me with a polite return of their correspondance.

(in reply to laurell3)
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RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 8:07:41 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		FR

Yes, no response. If they don't even have the courtesy to say more then hi, why bother to respond at all. Let your silence tell them more then what your words can.

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to xoxi)
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RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 8:14:38 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Depends on my mood and how busy I am at the moment. Sometimes I will reply with a "hello"....other times I just hit delete.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 8:17:19 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		I dunno.

I guess I could also say in my profile-"If interested, send me a naked picture of you in diapers."



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RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 8:19:39 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I've noticed that more of the "hi" openings come right after I've logged in.  I've suspected that many of them are from people new to the site, they see the list of people on the home page who are on the site "now", and they think they're starting a live conversation. 

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Is "hi" enough to respond to? - 9/21/2007 8:43:14 AM   
mrdpettigrew


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		someone  pointed  out about  hi being waht we say  when we meet in the real world  and it is fact  here most want   much longer  so waht are profiles for . do they  not  contain all the infor  needed  to determin weateher  there is  a thing worth persueing . you should see waht you get back  if you send  your  profile  instead of a one  liner  so you know they at least read it before making a decission   but hay profiles are  to  long  to  bother with  for many  so were  is the  middle. if good looking female  to amny replies  if  older  guy  not many  if fat  not many  all based on  not  words but  pic  so  go figure. kind of like  the admierier  list  people  put tehm on  theirs and  then  if you respond  they block .

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 40
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