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ORIGINAL: neosub11

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By helping a few subs re-package themselves online and by weeding out the married cheaters, fibbers and others as best I could, it narrowed the pool considerably enough that the subs actually stood out.

That sounds like a noble idea (and I'm curious to know what exactly you did), however, just as there are cheaters, fibbers and other flat-out liars among subs, the same thing exists among Dommes as well...or when I say Dommes, I mean the users on sites like Collarme who refer to themselves as such, whether they really are or not.

It's frustrating when you know genuinely who you are, have followed good advice, and still have gotten absolutely nowhere. It's even more frustrating when/if they get attacked for it (as sometimes seems to be the case throughout various threads on here). The generalization of subs' problems and attitudes (by Dommes) is not a good thing (and vice versa).

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

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ORIGINAL: sarbonn

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Some subs will say anything to get a foot in the door, then either ask for more, or become passive aggressive (that's what he did -- went into a sulking, sullen mode and I had to pry it out of him that he was resentful that play was not an option).

Akasha

I honestly don't see that ever changing. A lot of women have made it so difficult for even a sincere potential submissive to get a foot in the door that it doesn't surprise me that the less than sincere ones are willing to pretend to be something they aren't in hopes of achieving what they desire.

Personally, I've been a houseboy a few times in the past, and I've NEVER indicated that I didn't want to be part of the bdsm part of the situation/relationship/whatever. I would have been lying, and I most likely would have been disappointed before being booted to the door. That doesn't mean that I haven't been in houseboy situations where there was almost ZERO bdsm interaction. It was actually the social dynamic involving the first real slavery situation I ended up in. She was quite satisfied to keep me as her houseboy with very little play involved, knowing that the attention she was giving me was more than wonderful to me, although she knew I would have killed for anything more. Then she ended up with a submissive who promised to be exactly what you were describing in your post, and I think she thought maybe it was possible to find what I was to her AS WELL as someone not after anything else. Well, it took her about two hours to realize this guy was really pushing buttons just to get attention and then she threw him out. She then came down to the floor where I was cleaning and told me she was going to be making me her full time slave. Then she walked out and left me to continue cleaning.

I don't think doing what that guy did would ever be worth the effort. Even now, when I don't even have a play partner and haven't done a single bdsm thing in over 8 years, I couldn't do that.

Assuming that you managed to never hint that you did wish for some bdsm interaction, and you never did pout or become passive aggressive, if the femdom still *knew* that you wanted more and would have "killed" for anything more, how could she continue to ignore those needs?

It's really a no win situation. If she sincerely cares for the sub and wants him to be happy and satisfied, at some point she's going to feel some sense of obligation (unless she is truly selfish and as for the sub -- could take him or leave him at any given moment -- and, he was truly replacable and not special). At some point it's going to wear on her sense of ethics and kindness. How could it not?

I don't think femdoms have made it difficult for subs. Don't blame the women.

Akasha

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ORIGINAL: TiNeedsHouseboy
Guess we'll have to label ourselves mutual-admiration-society-effete-intellectual-snob-theoretical-elitists!?!?! (Does that qualify as a kink?) LMBO.

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ORIGINAL: pollux
Kink, no. Kinky acronym, yes.

MASEISTE ......... MAITESSE?

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ORIGINAL: tarnishedhalo777

I am finding that many submissives are only concerned w/ their kink and indeed we Dommes seem to be interchangeable,ecspecially when they are pain sluts.

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I am finding that many submissives are only concerned w/ their kink and indeed we Dommes seem to be interchangeable,ecspecially when they are pain sluts.

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ORIGINAL: pilot4029
i currently roleplay with a dominant woman online and found it quite exciting to actually enter into a dom/sub role. We exchanged e-mails to begin with, before coming anywhere near to roleplay and this helped establish groundrules. However i refused to become a simpering sub 24/7 - there's no way I'd enjoy that and i figured my Mistress would get annoyed pretty quickly.

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ORIGINAL: QueenRah
...sure you can quote me, just remember where you got it. (Re: "needy-greedy bottoms")

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ORIGINAL: Steve/Euryanx
It's tempting to consider having two relationships... the wife and the Mistress... but that smacks of dishonesty and cheating and
everything i want to avoid. Makes you wonder how to reconcile all of this...

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libidinally,

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ORIGINAL: mnottertail
When you truely consider, I mean ponder this; submission is a gift, (I have been told).

My question is WTF?

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ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
I'd suggest a lot more reading and meeting dealing with people in real life instead of from computer chair; because your characterization of a simpering sub 24/7 is something that happens almost 100% of the time on the internet/movies, not real life.
In real life, people realize there are issues to be discussed, and work to be done, and most fem doms (they'll correct me if I'm wrong) cannot stand men who approach them with this type of thinking (can I worship you sight unseen, or I want to be naked in a collar 24hours/day for you Ma'am, isn't that wonderful of me as a servant). M

quote:

ORIGINAL: TiNeedsHouseboy:
libidinally
..............................
Ron/mnottertail replied:
I got my ass busted on that word last week.