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Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 5:16:42 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		I have a question for slaves/subs/masos that enjoy humilation play. Why does it seem that, for most, the word 'fat' is completely off limits?
I have recently started talking to a local Dom who happens to like pig play, a lot. I have never done pig play. I have talked to one or two Doms about it in the past. It is not a very popular kink, it seems.
But it surely does fit the humilation play theme, doesn't it?
Why is calling me fat such an offlimits thing? I mean, really, I am morbidly obese. There can be no question of the honesty of the comment. How would others feel about being called, for instance, a 'fat pig'?
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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 5:18:56 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		If you wanna be called fat...go for it...whats the big deal ?

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 9/22/2007 5:19:56 PM >

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 6:29:28 PM   
pinkme2


Posts: 236
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline 		I have a friend who will jokingly call me "fattie" but then I'm not overweight, and it's probably not meant to humiliate.  But if you like it, have fun with it! 

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 6:37:09 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline 		I've got to say, you're an exceptionally brave/strong person to be able to deal with being called that.

I, myself, have a LOT of self-esteem issues... even when people joke with me about my weight it causes me to completely break down and go near-hysterical... so I'd never be able to do pig play, specifically.  I do love humiliation play, however.  Funny how a simple three-letter word can completely ruin my day, and I think absolutely nothing of being called a slut, whore, bitch, etc.

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 6:42:00 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

I have a question for slaves/subs/masos that enjoy humilation play. Why does it seem that, for most, the word 'fat' is completely off limits?
I have recently started talking to a local Dom who happens to like pig play, a lot. I have never done pig play. I have talked to one or two Doms about it in the past. It is not a very popular kink, it seems.
But it surely does fit the humilation play theme, doesn't it?
Why is calling me fat such an offlimits thing? I mean, really, I am morbidly obese. There can be no question of the honesty of the comment. How would others feel about being called, for instance, a 'fat pig'?


Esteem..and they don't want to be reminded of the suffering it will take to change it.

Make me suffer for being fat-I'll make you suffer too...now knock it off.

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 6:48:45 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

How would others feel about being called, for instance, a 'fat pig'?


I'd think he wasn't listening to me.

I don't want get into humilation about my body type, be it my weight, my looks, my hair or my breasts. Humilation isn't something where if you like it you like it all. I like the parts of it that I like and don't like the parts that I don't.

You like it - good for you. I don't - good for me.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/22/2007 6:49:38 PM >

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 7:01:29 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Not every fat person enjoys this kink. I don't, humiliation in general doesn't turn me on. Everyone has preferences, and everyone enjoys different words or phrases. It is just that, a preference.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 7:08:47 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		The question was certainly not meant as a judgement of those that don't like it, more as a discussion of what the issues with it are.
I know a few years ago I would not have accepted it at all. I am much more comfortable with my body as I get older. I tell the kids I work with at school all the time that I am fat, - when we discuss nutrition, ect, I tell them they 'don't want to be fat like me'. I don't avoid the word fat. I know I'm fat. And going bald, to boot.
Part of it certainly is that I am very comfortable in my own skin. I think I'm gorgeous. I have no trouble telling you, the reason I can't stand masks at play time is, they hide my beautiful face.
I don't think anything is all or nothing. You like pain, so you'll like this. If you are a real sub, you'll do this, ect, ect. BS! I just wanted some feedback on how others felt about this particular play issue.

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 7:16:25 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

I have a question for slaves/subs/masos that enjoy humilation play. Why does it seem that, for most, the word 'fat' is completely off limits?


Limits are individual things, so you'll get a 100 responses for every 100 people you ask why anything they choose is a limit.


quote:

But it surely does fit the humilation play theme, doesn't it?


It can if being called fat humilates someone. If being called fat isn't humiliating to someone, then it doesn't. Completely subjective.

quote:

Why is calling me fat such an offlimits thing?


If it's not a limit for you, then it's not. No harm, no foul. Play to your hearts content in what ever manner you so choose.

quote:

I mean, really, I am morbidly obese. There can be no question of the honesty of the comment. How would others feel about being called, for instance, a 'fat pig'?


::shrug:: Doesn't float my boat but it doesn't turn me off. It's one of the 'eh', take it or leave it things for me. Himself doesn't like it, so doesn't go there, so that's how it is in this house.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 7:33:23 PM   
ThinkingKitten


Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline 		Calling someone "fat" is completely relative to their actual physical condition, and their emotional reaction to it.
 
For someone who is genuinely overweight, then I think Dom's walk a fine line between humiliating a subtype for D/s purposes vs. beating on the person's self-esteem which may or may not be in the toilet with regards to their self image.
 
However, in your instance, if you're OK with it, then there shouldn't be an issue - go for it. I'd be more concerned about the apparent disconnect between being someone being happy with their physical appearance when they're overweight, and yet not be mindful of all the negative impacts on their health.

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Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 7:53:26 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

I have a question for slaves/subs/masos that enjoy humilation play. Why does it seem that, for most, the word 'fat' is completely off limits?
I have recently started talking to a local Dom who happens to like pig play, a lot. I have never done pig play. I have talked to one or two Doms about it in the past. It is not a very popular kink, it seems.
But it surely does fit the humilation play theme, doesn't it?
Why is calling me fat such an offlimits thing? I mean, really, I am morbidly obese. There can be no question of the honesty of the comment. How would others feel about being called, for instance, a 'fat pig'?
Because as a general rule, I think that society has supplied all the humiliation an overweight person can take on an almost daily basis..I mean would you really want to experience any kink 24/7?..Tempting

_____________________________

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You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 8:56:26 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Cuz it's generally too personal and hard hitting for people to be able to gloss over.

But it's your kink, so go for it.

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 8:56:40 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

You like it - good for you. I don't - good for me.
what she said.


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"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 9:42:11 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		For anyone interested I would recommend the book Fat is a Feminist Issue written by Susie Orbach, published in 1988. (currently available through Amazon.com)  Although it deals overtly with eating disorders, the underlying message is about accepting the truth of one’s size and weight. 
Fat is a powerfully negative word for many women, perhaps less so for men.
Women in general have a distorted self-view regarding their weight; to be called fat can cut deeply into the psyche because it’s already a source of insecurity.
Put any five women in a room and at least 2 of them are on a diet (okay, I made that statistic up)  When clothes for woman start at size zero, the bar is set  so low that to be a non-size creates the ideal.
I was not an over weight child but my mother bought me ‘chubby size’ clothing.  I have fought that self image all my life. 

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 10:23:13 PM   
lilgurrl


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/31/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

I've got to say, you're an exceptionally brave/strong person to be able to deal with being called that.

I, myself, have a LOT of self-esteem issues... even when people joke with me about my weight it causes me to completely break down and go near-hysterical... so I'd never be able to do pig play, specifically.  I do love humiliation play, however.  Funny how a simple three-letter word can completely ruin my day, and I think absolutely nothing of being called a slut, whore, bitch, etc.




DIT-TO.

< Message edited by lilgurrl -- 9/22/2007 10:25:03 PM >

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 10:37:33 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		same reason my intelligence and belts and the word "bitch" are off limits for right now...my past.and people in my past that suck ass...and not in a good way...

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 10:45:36 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I don't either. Daddy says I am a fucking whore, would fuck anybody who's dick I took a fancy too, says I am a slut, and I just say, yes I am thank you.  OR I say I am your slut get it right.

Course he's not doing it to humilate me, I am a slut, I would fuck anybody who interested me if it were not for risk of STD's and pregnancy. and I enjoy him speaking to me in that manner, if I am not feeling emotionally fragil at the moment it's said.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

  Funny how a simple three-letter word can completely ruin my day, and I think absolutely nothing of being called a slut, whore, bitch, etc.


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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 10:54:11 PM   
HotFaerieMama


Posts: 2617
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		i can be called any name in the book by any one and it has no affect on me . probably due to being picked on all thru school.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/22/2007 11:06:01 PM   
curiouspet55


Posts: 133
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		To me, there are two types of humiliation play - embarassment, and degradation. Degradation (to me) would be using "bitch" "whore" "fat pig," making fun of my body type, and humiliating me by making me feel bad about how I appear/am acting. Embarassment play is more doing things I wouldn't normally do, that I am shy/somewhat ashamed to do, and feeling awkward/shy/flustered/embarassed by it - being made to say dirty things out loud, to do a striptease (for me, embarassing), or grind in tune with music - possibilities are endless. Personally, I enjoy the latter but the former is a hard limit. It is a matter of my own self esteem and confidence. The line between the two types of play is different for everyone, though, and for some nonexistent.

my two cents,
cp55

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RE: Why is the 'F' word offlimits? - 9/23/2007 2:03:17 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings tsatske,

i love being humiliated and degraded. for me, personally, being called fat, however, can be somewhat damaging as i do not exactly and have never had a particularly healthy relationship with food or my body. it's something i'm working on. and if he wanted to do it, i would certainly not object to him doing so. but it is a touchy subject for me personally and borders on pushing me into unhealthy attitudes in the rest of my life, which i think (aside from his own distaste and preference for other forms of humiliation and degradation) is why he chooses not to use it.

that said, if it gets you off, by all means, go for it.

respectfully,
annabelle.


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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

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