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Men afraid of successful women? - 9/23/2007 8:27:38 PM

cyberdude611

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You would think during a date you would be proud to tell your date the major accomplishments of your life, right? Well more and more women according to this article find they have to dumb down their accomplishments a bit in order to make sure their male dates dont get scared and run away.

One woman in the article says that her last boyfriend broke up with her because he "felt uncomfortable" living with a woman who makes more money than he does.

The income gender gap may be closing soon as more women than men are attending college and entering the workforce. Polls consistantly show women do not value men by the size of their wallet as much anymore. A poll in the article showed that 75% of women would rather have a relationship with a high school teacher who has a lot of time off, than a surgeon who makes a fortune but is always busy. Men as a whole may feel threatened socially by this type of thing according to social psychologists.

Although I know in a forum like this, this question/topic may not make much sense since power exchange is a "norm" to most here. But do you think men fear a woman who is successful? And to women here....whats your experience with this type of thing?

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/23/fashion/23whopays.html

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/23/2007 8:36:22 PM

missturbation

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I think there is some truth to this. I have met men who have been threatened by my job and i'm not really when you think about it that 'high up' so to speak. Most men claim that their ideal woman would own a brewery, well i come close i run pubs and let me tell you it doesn't get the men flocking. Now perchance it's my career and perchance it may be i'm just ugly and personalityless lol.
Anywaysssssss the lines i've had form Dom men are:-
You will give up your job, no slave of mine works.
You will give up your job, i won't have other men ogling you.
When i say i hate not working they have then said i can get a little part time job in a shop or pub!! A pub huh? Thats what i do now!! I'm still going to get chatted up, im still going to be working, doesn't quite make sense.Leading me then to believe yes they are threatened by my career.

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/23/2007 9:36:12 PM

ChicagoSwitchMal

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Men fill labor jobs that women cannot do. On a construction site you will see a woman holding the "slow" sign. You might see them operating hydrolic equipment. You won't see them humping bricks. The infrastructure of society is built and has been built by men.This isn't a sexist statement. It's just a fact. The labors of men have afforded women to educate themselves to a level that matches and often supercedes men. I'm okay with that. I don't care if a woman makes more money than me. Most of the time a woman I'm with gets her way. Why? Because I don't care either way. But on the rare occasion I put my foot down I expect it to be respected regaurdless of who makes more money.

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/23/2007 9:50:11 PM

ChicagoSwitchMal

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darn it. I hit quote instead of edit agian!

< Message edited by ChicagoSwitchMal -- 9/23/2007 9:51:41 PM >

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/23/2007 9:53:06 PM

Lashra

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I own a construction company and I get my ass up on the roof (or whereever we are working) just like everyone else. My company is doing very well and I have found in the past that some men were put off by the fact(s) that: I own my company, its a male oriented business and I am a woman, I make more money than they do, the fact I'm around men most of the time. Does it bother me? No their insecurity is no reason for me to feel uncomfortable. As long as I am comfortable with myself why should I let it bother me?

This reminds me of when I was young and would go out to play baseball with the boys. My Mother would always say "Now let the boys win or you will hurt their egos", my Father would say "Give 'em hell baby, if they can't win on their own skill then they deserve to loose." I listened to my Father.

~Lashra

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/23/2007 9:57:28 PM

ChicagoSwitchMal

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Did you buy it or inherit it? going up on the roof doesn't mean you can carry bricks. It's not credibility.

< Message edited by ChicagoSwitchMal -- 9/23/2007 10:03:36 PM >

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/23/2007 10:05:23 PM

Vendaval

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My own experience is that income and career status is an uncomfortable subject between the sexes. Most men still want to be the provider and feel threatened if they are involved with women who make more money or have a higher status career.

This attitude is less common among younger men and more common among older ones, which is related to the social and economic changes in recent generations.

(syntax edit)

< Message edited by Vendaval -- 9/23/2007 10:06:19 PM >

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/23/2007 10:14:40 PM

Termyn8or

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Anyone with a problem with it, well that is their problem.

I am secure in my abilities, my Manhood, accomplishments as well as my limitations.

If you want to go out and make the money fine, I'll have dinner just about ready when you get home and I'll give you a nice foot massage before chaining your clit to the door and your neck to the floor.

I want you to have a good time, if you wanna pay my bills, great. They are big. I make money, but it is drained quite quickly. My bills are manageable now, $1,000 a month for debt service, another thousand for incidentals and about $500 for intoxicants and food.

In other words, if anyone wants to hook up with me, if they want total dominance, that is what it will take, otherwise I have to keep working.

Why on Earth would I be afraid of a Woman who makes more than me ? Damn, I would welcome such a situation.

T

(in reply to Lashra)

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/23/2007 11:04:45 PM

pahunkboy

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hmm. well each partner these days -it works better if both carry their weight. if not- an undercurrent of resentment occurs. [in the long run]

to put in other words- I dont want someone elses check, and I dont want anyone after my check. Not that it is tit for tat. Some have no problem "buying" love... [but] this isnt for me.

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/23/2007 11:20:38 PM

meatcleaver

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It seems to me that women are the root of their own problem. While men don't seem to have a problem with a less successful woman, women seem to have a problem with less successful men. From my experience, successful women think they deserve a man that is at least as successful as them and usually more so and able to keep them in a manner they have become accustomed to should they want offspring. Jeez, when you've had a woman that wants you for what you are then wants to change you to what they think they deserve, I don't blame any man shying away from that potential hassle. I've had a couple of lovers who have complained about their husband's lack of ambition (not their refusal to work hard.) and while I'd date them for entertainment's sake, I wouldn't have a serious relationship with one.

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/23/2007 11:47:20 PM

Maya2001

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I do agree with Vendaval with regards to most older men that they are more intimidated by being with woman that earn more than themselves, they were raised with the belief that they are meant to be the provider also in their early years there was different wages for men and women even doing the same jobs. I have dated 3 men around my age that earned less and it did bother them to see me with the bigger house and have a larger paycheck, and all 3 endied up deciding that if the relationship was to go any farther that I would have to quit my current job, and sell my house. The selling the house I could have handled but to quit my job only to put in the same hours somewhere else for 30 to 50% less of what I was making and have no benefits or pension made no sense and seemed totally stupid to give up just for prides sake

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/24/2007 12:07:53 AM

ChainsandFreedom

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I browsed the linked article, and I got a differant conclusion: The women in question were very carrier driven lawyers/software writers and dating 'creative-job, diner-types'. The article is talking about manhattan, a place where for many making money can be a 16 hr a day obsession after all-it could well be a matter of lifestyle, not earning power.

Not to complain, but highschool guys are used to working in a kitchen or a stock room while their female classmates get the waitress and customer service jobs.

Then, after college, more of our female friends have graduated than male friends.

I think in a world where most young people are looking at a future of rising credit debit instead of rising wages, a high-earning woman is definantly not a threat but a bonus. Everybody knows the stay-at-home mom has become ancient history. Look how much popular culture is obsessed with the idea of 'gold-diggers': obviously we're used to and want proud, working women.

-the guy in this couples profile

(in reply to Maya2001)

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/24/2007 12:08:56 AM

popeye1250

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Speaking for myself it wouldn't bother me at all.
I'm 56 so I'm probably not looking to have kids unless the woman is much younger and wants them.
I wouldn't mind going out with a woman who made a lot more than me at all.

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/24/2007 12:15:05 AM

meatcleaver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

I wouldn't mind going out with a woman who made a lot more than me at all.

I've gone out with a couple of women that earn a lot more than me and listened to them complain about their husband's lack of success while paying for the evening. One of the perks of my job. However, most of these women are not to be pleased over the long term from what I can tell. Give them what they want, a good work out and then send them home to count their money.

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/24/2007 12:16:06 AM

came4U

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If a man was afraid of my sucess it would imply that he is less sucessful. He would have feel that way from afar because I wouldn't date anyone with lesser sucess so it wouldn't happen.

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/24/2007 12:16:08 AM

cyberdude611

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That's a good point. It seems men and women these days are looking for and expecting very different things from each other. Perhaps that is a reason that divorce rates are so radically high these days. Women especially want their cake and eat it too. Even though men do not understand how a woman's mind works (a mystery of the universe that will never be solved), men do understand that women think very differently than they do. Women on the other hand still can't understand that men think differently. Instead, women try to get the man to think like them. Of course this just doesnt work and it ends up causing a compatibility problem. Science has actually proven that men and women think very differently.

Like meatcleaver said, perhaps men that are afraid of women who are more successful or have a better career are simply afraid that woman is going to try and change him into whatever she thinks she deserves or what she thinks is right. That's why a man may feel more comfortable going out with women who have a lower job or have lower intelligence than he does. It is accepting a lower level of risk because he will be able to control the situation. Remember in this world, the one with the gold makes the rules. If the woman is bringing home the bacon every night, she's obviously going to be the one dictating the household's policy.

And there is reason for men to be afraid. Look at how in 2004, everyone was poking fun at John Kerry because his wife is 3 times wealthier than he is. Somehow many people thought that made him less of a man. Now if he was worth 3 times what his wife is worth... we would have never heard anyting about that.

I mean this is a bigger social stigma than people realize.

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/24/2007 12:55:49 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

But do you think men fear a woman who is successful? And to women here....whats your experience with this type of thing?

I suppose some men do but I haven't encountered it personally. At least not that I was told about!

I honestly never saw a point in "dumbing down" my success because I wasn't going to stop achieving things once settled down. If a man would be threatened by previous success he would be threatened by future success as well. Not worth dealing with. I'll take the man who is proud of my achievements any day!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/24/2007 1:25:49 AM

UtopianRanger

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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

It seems to me that women are the root of their own problem. While men don't seem to have a problem with a less successful woman, women seem to have a problem with less successful men. From my experience, successful women think they deserve a man that is at least as successful as them and usually more so and able to keep them in a manner they have become accustomed to should they want offspring. Jeez, when you've had a woman that wants you for what you are then wants to change you to what they think they deserve, I don't blame any man shying away from that potential hassle. I've had a couple of lovers who have complained about their husband's lack of ambition (not their refusal to work hard.) and while I'd date them for entertainment's sake, I wouldn't have a serious relationship with one.

Meat..... with these types of posts....I don't envy you

For me.....the dollar amount or a title a woman holds respective to her career actually means nothing to me. What does matter is her ambition and the potential she holds. In essence..... if I think she's brilliant/ambitious enough to be the head of human resources or a director in some capacity.....but wants to stay home and pursue being an artist or raise championship pedigreed dogs - That's good enough for me.

- R

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/24/2007 1:29:08 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

Jeez, when you've had a woman that wants you for what you are then wants to change you to what they think they deserve, I don't blame any man shying away from that potential hassle.

Never thought it that way but it's a good point. Now that I know what being wanted for who I am feels like, I doubt I would be willing to settle for less either.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to meatcleaver)

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RE: Men afraid of successful women? - 9/24/2007 1:32:09 AM

Zmey

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChicagoSwitchMal

Men fill labor jobs that women cannot do. On a construction site you will see a woman holding the "slow" sign. You might see them operating hydrolic equipment. You won't see them humping bricks. The infrastructure of society is built and has been built by men.This isn't a sexist statement. It's just a fact. The labors of men have afforded women to educate themselves to a level that matches and often supercedes men. I'm okay with that. I don't care if a woman makes more money than me. Most of the time a woman I'm with gets her way. Why? Because I don't care either way. But on the rare occasion I put my foot down I expect it to be respected regaurdless of who makes more money.

I will have to disagree with you partner. I work in a construction and I've seen plenty of women doing everything that men do. Career choice isn't a matter of education, it's a matter of preference. I would never be able to sit in a office for 8 hours. I can not come to the same place day after day, week after week, month after month... It drives me crazy! I get my work done and move on. I think every profession is becoming gender neutral. I'm yet to see a male secretary but I don't work in a office. As far as income goes both sexes are capable of making same money so it should be a challenge for a male if female make more money and the other way around. In the end all that matter is what makes you happy.

(in reply to ChicagoSwitchMal)

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