Please help me understand

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girlygurl -> Please help me understand (9/25/2007 1:02:22 AM)
What does it mean when a Dominate says the sub is "not ready" for a collar? What qualifies as "ready"? Thank you

laurell3 -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 1:04:26 AM)
not trying to be difficult, but honestly the answer is, whatever He wants. l

girlygurl -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 1:16:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 not trying to be difficult, but honestly the answer is, whatever He wants. l Well yes, that's obvious! But I'm really curious on what it is that Doms/Masters view as "ready" [:)]

laurell3 -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 1:32:05 AM)
did you ask HIM this question? what did he say? l

Celeste43 -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 2:54:41 AM)
Ask him. Maybe he wants you to know all the Gorean slave positions first. Maybe he has a rule that he doesn't collar anyone who he hasn't been in a relationship with for over a year. And maybe he just isn't that into you, but wants to keep you around while he looks for something he wants more.

Level -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 3:52:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: girlygurl What does it mean when a Dominate says the sub is "not ready" for a collar? What qualifies as "ready"? Thank you "dominant", not "dominate" [;)]

SirCache -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 5:35:27 AM)
Unfortunately, this question is about as open-ended as asking 'What is your favorite food' in NYC. It could be anything and everything under the sun--the only way to determine why he thinks you're not ready is to ask him yourself.

mnottertail -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 5:42:51 AM)
In NYC, my favorite food is corned beef and cabbage. Hope this helps, Ron

TNstepsout -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 5:44:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail In NYC, my favorite food is corned beef and cabbage. Hope this helps, Ron I know I feel better.

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 6:35:48 AM)
For me it would depend on the girl in question. I see women individually and set criteria based on what I see. Some have more then others. Some I would never collar but I would at least tell them if that is the case

MissHarlet -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 6:59:42 AM)
Being ready for a collar is different to every Dominant. It totally depends on what he or she seeks in a submissive/slave and what they see in you. For me a collar is as serious as a vanilla marriage and I would want the submissive/slave to give it equal importance .. and if I didnt think they did .. I would say they are not " ready" ....

Redandtreasure -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 7:52:20 AM)
There is no time limit as when to collar a slave/sub at least there isnt for me. For a lot of Doms That collar is just a powerfull and means just as much as a wedding ring. So when and if you do talk to your Top about it take a step back and ask you self are you ready to get married? You might be pushing for that and not even realise it. Have fun and play safe

celticlord2112 -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 7:53:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail In NYC, my favorite food is corned beef and cabbage. Hope this helps, Ron Hot Pastrami on Rye With a pickle

mnottertail -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 7:57:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: celticlord2112 quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail In NYC, my favorite food is corned beef and cabbage. Hope this helps, Ron Hot Pastrami on Rye With a pickle But what does it all mean, then?

MstrSkyWoIf -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 8:21:41 AM)
In my eyes a collar is as serious as a vanilla marriage and is saying I want you for the rest of my life as mine..... I would want the submissive/slave to give it equal importance and understand it is a life commitment to me. If I did not feel or if she could not make the type of commitment to me then I would not offer her a collar and would tell her she was not ready for that reason. But as others have said it can be for many reasons. you should ask the dominant in question his reasons.

toservez -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 8:27:24 AM)
Like others have said it depends on the person definition and value to the collar. For some it can mean an agreed upon level of power exchanged and nothing more, to some it can be equivalent to a wedding ring and others everywhere in between. Ask your person what he means because he is the only one that can truly answer that. My one .02 advice/caution that probably is not relevant though is if he is holding this above your head for you to jump through hoops and this is a serious relationship I would be concerned. Relationships grow with two people together and not one climbing to the level of the other.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 8:57:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail quote: ORIGINAL: celticlord2112 quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail In NYC, my favorite food is corned beef and cabbage. Hope this helps, Ron Hot Pastrami on Rye With a pickle But what does it all mean, then? Cabbage or collars...to each his own.

BitaTruble -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 9:31:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: girlygurl What does it mean when a Dominate says the sub is "not ready" for a collar? What qualifies as "ready"? Thank you That's such a subjective question and there are many possible answers, but the first which springs to my mind is that the dominant holds a collar as a very valuable symbol and he won't give one to someone just so they have it. He's looking for a level of service or submission which has as much value and meaning to him as the collar does. It's a committment and he's in it for the long haul and he wants to make sure the submissive is as well. I had to earn Michael's collar and it took two years to do so. By making me earn it, instead of just handing it to me, it's as precious to me as it is to him. One of the things he wanted to make sure of, is that I wanted to belong to him as much as he wanted me to belong to him. Those two years solidified in my mind that I did, in fact, want to belong to him.. not just for play, or for a while, but for always. We both look at a collar as the symbol of something which we hope will be a lifetime committment to one another. YMMV Celeste

Lashra -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 10:30:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail quote: ORIGINAL: celticlord2112 quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail In NYC, my favorite food is corned beef and cabbage. Hope this helps, Ron Hot Pastrami on Rye With a pickle But what does it all mean, then? Gas usually. Hope this helps. ~Lashra

VaWolf -> RE: Please help me understand (9/25/2007 10:50:42 AM)
When a Dom tells a sub that she is not ready for his collar, it means exactly that. Only he can determine what he wants to pull out of you, what he expects, and what he hopes you are, what potential he sees in you. Trust your Dom that when he thinks you are ready for it, then he will give it to you. And remember sometimes the journey is in everyway more important than the destination.

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