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Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 7:50:22 AM   
sapphirepleasure


Posts: 411
Joined: 4/27/2006
From: Land of Enchantment
Status: offline 		Not long ago I was corresponding with a man who identifies as a sadist, bemoaning the fact that on a number of occasions I have felt a rather strong connection with a sadist and, not being a heavy masochist/pain slut, decided that there was probably not a future between us.  His belief was that virtually all alpha males are sadists by nature and I would have to come to terms with that since I am obviously attracted to alpha males. 

This had never occurred to me, and I am still pondering it and wondering how true it is.  So I wanted to ask, in your experience, are all (or most) alpha males sadists (at least to a degree)? 
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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 7:53:44 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure

Not long ago I was corresponding with a man who identifies as a sadist, bemoaning the fact that on a number of occasions I have felt a rather strong connection with a sadist and, not being a heavy masochist/pain slut, decided that there was probably not a future between us.  His belief was that virtually all alpha males are sadists by nature and I would have to come to terms with that since I am obviously attracted to alpha males. 

This had never occurred to me, and I am still pondering it and wondering how true it is.  So I wanted to ask, in your experience, are all (or most) alpha males sadists (at least to a degree)? 

No offense, but  he was shoveling you a load of shit.
Not all dominant men are sadists; not even to a certain degree.

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 7:56:47 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		True...not all Doms..are sadist....

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 8:03:45 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am a Alpha female and I am a sadist, but does that mean all Alphas are sadists? I don't think so as we are all truly different and unique in many different ways. It sounds to me like he was trying to sell you on "Hey Alphamales only come in one variety so you may as well pick me." Good thing you realized that he wasn't the one for you.

Good luck,
~Lashra


_____________________________

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 8:09:01 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		it is very common for us humans to project our personality attibutes on the rest of the world.

i remember a cute story my former owner told me where he had stopped drinking soda for many years and many of our friends did not like chemmy, sugary pop drinks either...
so he actually said " coca colla must be going out of buisness" ...lol we still laugh about that one.

on a serious note though, more and more studdies are showing that appathy and sadism (in the clinical deffinition) are actulaly brain disfuntion, brain damage or disease.

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 8:29:14 AM   
SlaveOwnerDave


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Petaluma, CA
Status: offline 		I do not know.

I am an Alpha, and I have a Sadistic streak, yes. But My Sadism is based on power rather than pain.

Almost everything I do has power as its cause. When I give a Sadistic beating, it's about power. When I hug and cuddle afterward, it is still about power. For an Owner, being able to give pain and being able to give pleasure show One's power.

Punishment is NOT fun for Me, but I deliver it when necessary. Punishment, in that it improves obedience, is about power, too.

Sincerely,
Master Dave

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 9:05:58 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Naw he was indulging in "twueness."

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 9:09:33 AM   
havnfun4now


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline 		Let's try this from your man's point of view.

I am a Alpha Man.
I am a Sadist.
Therefore all Alpha Men are Sadists.

Nope.....the logic is lacking

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 9:13:56 AM   
Rumtiger


Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline 		not all doms are alpha males.

in fact, from what i've seen, a vast majority of them arent.

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 9:19:41 AM   
TotalState


Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline 		Actually, most doms are at least living the fantasy of being an alpha male.

Alpha male (noun): The dominant member in a group of males.

A man who holds strong influence over the activities of a group and to whom others defer. Normally has priority pick when it comes to mating with females.

Alpha male (adj): Being the highest ranked or most dominant individual of one's sex.

Are they alpha males in the vanilla world?  No, by definition, alphas are rare.  Do they have the character of someone who would *like* to be alpha?  Almost certainly. 


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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 9:21:43 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

it is very common for us humans to project our personality attibutes on the rest of the world.

i remember a cute story my former owner told me where he had stopped drinking soda for many years and many of our friends did not like chemmy, sugary pop drinks either...
so he actually said " coca colla must be going out of buisness" ...lol we still laugh about that one.

on a serious note though, more and more studdies are showing that appathy and sadism (in the clinical deffinition) are actulaly brain disfuntion, brain damage or disease.


I agree with this and add it is also very common to make or own traits into positive/better traits then traits we do not have instead of them just being different. Read this message board for example and see all the time how people take preferences and turn them into judgments.

This topic could probably be turned into a definition game as I could see people turn sadist into selfish but like others not all alphas are sadists and in fact some who do call themselves sadists are not really sadists either.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 9:27:58 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TotalState

Actually, most doms are at least living the fantasy of being an alpha male.

Alpha male (noun): The dominant member in a group of males.

A man who holds strong influence over the activities of a group and to whom others defer. Normally has priority pick when it comes to mating with females.

Alpha male (adj): Being the highest ranked or most dominant individual of one's sex.

Are they alpha males in the vanilla world?  No, by definition, alphas are rare.  Do they have the character of someone who would *like* to be alpha?  Almost certainly. 



That is theory not reality. My Master is a one male in his group. That makes him an alpha. Not some pissing match between to men which this type of definition thing represents.

Your definition would make no human being Alphas as everybody defers or show respect to someone. Anyone with a boss, customers or a Mom defers.

The definition is what is an alpha kingdom? Reality dictates most of us in love with our Masters is they are Kings of their home not existence.




_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to TotalState)
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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 9:31:53 AM   
TotalState


Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

The definition is what is an alpha kingdom? Reality dictates most of us in love with our Masters is they are Kings of their home not existence.


Oh, couldn't agree more.  I was just pointing out that it was completely subjective who is 'alpha' and who isn't.


_____________________________

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 10:03:37 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure

Not long ago I was corresponding with a man who identifies as a sadist, bemoaning the fact that on a number of occasions I have felt a rather strong connection with a sadist and, not being a heavy masochist/pain slut, decided that there was probably not a future between us.  His belief was that virtually all alpha males are sadists by nature and I would have to come to terms with that since I am obviously attracted to alpha males. 

This had never occurred to me, and I am still pondering it and wondering how true it is.  So I wanted to ask, in your experience, are all (or most) alpha males sadists (at least to a degree)? 


I think it safe to say I'm an Alpha.

But I have to ask, what is so sadistic about beating a masochist?

Wouldn't it be sadistic to -refuse- to beat a masochist?

If I derive my pleasure from the pleasure a masochist feels at being beaten, does that make me a sadist, or compassionate?

Now if I were to take someone vanilla and beat her, -that- would be sadistic (assuming I get some pleasure out of the act).

But I fail to see the sadism in giving a masochist what she wants and enjoys.


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 10:30:44 AM   
Damocles809


Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TotalState
Are they alpha males in the vanilla world?  No, by definition, alphas are rare.  Do they have the character of someone who would *like* to be alpha?  Almost certainly. 


I'd bet plenty of guys who want to be alphas but can't, are probably more sadistic.  If someone wants power, and doesn't have it in the vanilla world, they might very well seek out power in D/s or BDSM. 

Also, wanting anything you can't have (i.e. power in the vanilla world) can frustrate someone, and make him angry and bitter.  While that's not becoming of a "real" dom, it could cultivate a nastier, mysogynistic kind of sadism. 



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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 10:38:27 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Damocles809

quote:

ORIGINAL: TotalState
Are they alpha males in the vanilla world?  No, by definition, alphas are rare.  Do they have the character of someone who would *like* to be alpha?  Almost certainly. 


I'd bet plenty of guys who want to be alphas but can't, are probably more sadistic.  If someone wants power, and doesn't have it in the vanilla world, they might very well seek out power in D/s or BDSM. 


Perhaps, but there are so many abusive spouses who have nothing to do with bdsm that I'd have to wonder why choose bdsm when you can do the same thing in the vanilla world.

quote:


Also, wanting anything you can't have (i.e. power in the vanilla world) can frustrate someone, and make him angry and bitter.  While that's not becoming of a "real" dom, it could cultivate a nastier, mysogynistic kind of sadism. 


See above.

I'm not saying this is impossible, just that it seems to me to be a lot of work to find someone who wants to be beaten when these individuals can do the same thing in the vanilla world with someone who doesn't want to be beaten.



_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 10:42:41 AM   
sapphirepleasure


Posts: 411
Joined: 4/27/2006
From: Land of Enchantment
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

Perhaps, but there are so many abusive spouses who have nothing to do with bdsm that I'd have to wonder why choose bdsm when you can do the same thing in the vanilla world.



Maybe they choose it because then it's 'allowed' in the guise of dominance.  I know that it makes it so much more challenging to find a dominant who is balanced and strong and not just a misogynistic asshole as Damocles alluded to.

< Message edited by sapphirepleasure -- 9/26/2007 10:43:23 AM >

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 10:49:29 AM   
Damocles809


Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
I'm not saying this is impossible, just that it seems to me to be a lot of work to find someone who wants to be beaten when these individuals can do the same thing in the vanilla world with someone who doesn't want to be beaten.


Masochists can still be victims of abuse too.  An angry sadist beat a masochist in ways she doesn't want. 

I'd imagine a particularly vicious sadist would take advantage of a masochist willingly making herself vulnerable. 

And yeah, it probably does sound like more work than abusing a vanilla girl.   But from browsing  profiles, you can see there are a lot of really angry guys out there who clicked the "dominant" box. 

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 10:52:11 AM   
SirCache


Posts: 159
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline 		No, alpha males are just that--alpha males.  Differing styles of how they express it, most certainly, but to lump everyone in with such braod generalizations is poor use of the English language in my opinion.  I'd ignore the guy.

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RE: Are Alpha Males Sadists By Nature? - 9/26/2007 10:55:00 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Damocles809
But from browsing  profiles, you can see there are a lot of really angry guys out there who clicked the "dominant" box. 


I must admit that I don't read the blue profiles, just the pink ones.


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to Damocles809)
Profile   Post #: 20
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