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ORIGINAL: indiegrrl

I realize the answer will vary from person to person. Just curious how and why people answer the way they do. I personally have not formulated an answer yet.

Is love a want or a need? If sessioned enough, is that a replacement?

indiegrrl

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In fact, if I'm not mistaken, they did this years back with real human children. They saw similar results. Time and again, creatures that are subjected to otherwise normal environments are seen to suffer and fall physically ill due only to a lack of affection and love.

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Is love a want or a need? If sessioned enough, is that a replacement?

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ORIGINAL: chellekitty

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ORIGINAL: iammachine

Philia, the love of mankind, brotherly love,  community, friendship. I most closely relate this feeling to being content with how you relate to the world. I might consider philia to be a need, since this includes in a sense being at peace with your own identity. Surely, there are plenty of people that live their life lacking in this department, though I would definitely question how happy they were.

i would argue that happiness comes from within and that comes from being intune with God and following his will...but i promised myself not to get into spiritual debates on the boards anymore

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ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

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Is love a want or a need? If sessioned enough, is that a replacement?

Homo Sapiens is a social animal.  We are genetically inclined to act as part of a group, and our bodies respond favorably to close physical contact with others, releasing endorphins and displaying other responses indicative of pleasure and gratification.

That much is established scientific fact, backed up by volumes of empirical evidence.

Psychology has also established that people as individuals generally thrive when their egos are positively reinforced, and generally fail to thrive when their egos are assaulted and torn down.  "Love" is specifically mentioned as a social need in Maslow's heirarchy.

On a strictly scientific basis, "love" is definitely a psychological need. 

"Sessioning" I suspect would not provide the necessary expressions/perceptions of love.  You might feel the lash; I doubt you would feel the love.

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ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

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ORIGINAL: SirCache

What few people really want to admit to is that love is a lot of work. 

Just a semantic thing, but for me, love is a lot of play.

"Work" infers something I do not want to do.
"Play" is something I enjoy doing.

Loving another is something I very much enjoy doing. I'll put 100 times more effort into it than anything I'd consider "work".

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Having base wants met (an how to define base wants is another issue in and of itself) encourages us to thrive and be the best we can be. 

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ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

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ORIGINAL: iammachine

That depends on how you define love.

For example, I have very little personal concept of agape. This may be described as the unconditional love and affection amongst family. I simply don't understand it on a personal level, as it is not something that I have experienced. I think, being as humans are social creatures, that this is a feeling that we may on some level "need" for the sense of security it inspires. This is a "love" that I strive for amongst my friends, as I albeit somewhat artificially create a "family" system.

Eros, lust, the passion amongst lovers. I, personally, don't feel a compelling need for it. Sometimes my desire for it is quite compelling, but it is definitely not something that I feel incomplete without.

Philia, the love of mankind, brotherly love,  community, friendship. I most closely relate this feeling to being content with how you relate to the world. I might consider philia to be a need, since this includes in a sense being at peace with your own identity. Surely, there are plenty of people that live their life lacking in this department, though I would definitely question how happy they were.

As for whether or not I feel I need to love someone to enjoy playing with them... well, by my definition, on some level, I probably simply do.

Great post.... i  want them all.....i think any one of the three are  needed for a person to thrive.

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ORIGINAL: SirCache

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ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

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ORIGINAL: SirCache

What few people really want to admit to is that love is a lot of work. 

Just a semantic thing, but for me, love is a lot of play.

"Work" infers something I do not want to do.
"Play" is something I enjoy doing.

Loving another is something I very much enjoy doing. I'll put 100 times more effort into it than anything I'd consider "work".

I did not mean to infer that it was not enjoyable work.  I find relationships endlessly fascinating from a purely scientific standpoint, and they are quite enjoyed on a personal level.  Perhaps the word effort instead of work?  Love is one of the activities where everyone involved must put in 100%--none of this 50/50 crap.  At least for me.

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ORIGINAL: indiegrrl

I realize the answer will vary from person to person. Just curious how and why people answer the way they do.  I personally have not formulated an answer yet.
 
Is love a want or a need?  If sessioned enough, is that a replacement?
 
indiegrrl

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ORIGINAL: ocilla

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ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

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ORIGINAL: iammachine

That depends on how you define love.

For example, I have very little personal concept of agape. This may be described as the unconditional love and affection amongst family. I simply don't understand it on a personal level, as it is not something that I have experienced. I think, being as humans are social creatures, that this is a feeling that we may on some level "need" for the sense of security it inspires. This is a "love" that I strive for amongst my friends, as I albeit somewhat artificially create a "family" system.

Eros, lust, the passion amongst lovers. I, personally, don't feel a compelling need for it. Sometimes my desire for it is quite compelling, but it is definitely not something that I feel incomplete without.

Philia, the love of mankind, brotherly love,  community, friendship. I most closely relate this feeling to being content with how you relate to the world. I might consider philia to be a need, since this includes in a sense being at peace with your own identity. Surely, there are plenty of people that live their life lacking in this department, though I would definitely question how happy they were.

As for whether or not I feel I need to love someone to enjoy playing with them... well, by my definition, on some level, I probably simply do.

Great post.... i  want them all.....i think any one of the three are  needed for a person to thrive.

Right on Imamachine.  You nailed it in my book.  I think it is hubris to think that one primary relationship can even begin to fill up our human need to be nurtured, loved and connected.  I also think that the love that we need can be provided in many different ways other than romatic love.  Romantic love is actually a fairly recent social phenomenon and was not much of option for most till the last 3-400 certuries if I recall.   There are many many folks especailly in generations past who happily choose to not partner up in what we think of as the tradition way.  The single auntie, the bachelor - these were/are needed members of a family and community.

And as to the philia - this also extends to other species and the earth itself and helps us to feel connected and protective of our home in the broader sense of the term.

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Post #: 46
RE: Love: A Want or Need? - 9/27/2007 10:41:04 AM

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ORIGINAL: ocilla

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ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

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ORIGINAL: iammachine

That depends on how you define love.

For example, I have very little personal concept of agape. This may be described as the unconditional love and affection amongst family. I simply don't understand it on a personal level, as it is not something that I have experienced. I think, being as humans are social creatures, that this is a feeling that we may on some level "need" for the sense of security it inspires. This is a "love" that I strive for amongst my friends, as I albeit somewhat artificially create a "family" system.

Eros, lust, the passion amongst lovers. I, personally, don't feel a compelling need for it. Sometimes my desire for it is quite compelling, but it is definitely not something that I feel incomplete without.

Philia, the love of mankind, brotherly love,  community, friendship. I most closely relate this feeling to being content with how you relate to the world. I might consider philia to be a need, since this includes in a sense being at peace with your own identity. Surely, there are plenty of people that live their life lacking in this department, though I would definitely question how happy they were.

As for whether or not I feel I need to love someone to enjoy playing with them... well, by my definition, on some level, I probably simply do.

Great post.... i  want them all.....i think any one of the three are  needed for a person to thrive.

Right on Imamachine.  You nailed it in my book.  I think it is hubris to think that one primary relationship can even begin to fill up our human need to be nurtured, loved and connected.  I also think that the love that we need can be provided in many different ways other than romatic love.  Romantic love is actually a fairly recent social phenomenon and was not much of option for most till the last 3-400 certuries if I recall.   There are many many folks especailly in generations past who happily choose to not partner up in what we think of as the tradition way.  The single auntie, the bachelor - these were/are needed members of a family and community.

And as to the philia - this also extends to other species and the earth itself and helps us to feel connected and protective of our home in the broader sense of the term.