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Aswad -> RE: Why is Punishment not seen as Abusive? (9/29/2007 12:06:13 PM)
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ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
I'll go so far as to say it appears to be evidence in favour of such a belief.
~nods~
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I could also point to battered wives and claim evidence to the contrary.
I'd actually say battered spouses might constitute evidence in favour.
By the way, I would suggest reading up on battered husbands and so forth.
My use of the term "spouse" over "wife" has is not a matter of political correctness.
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Whereas the former situation is about loving a person versus be afraid of losing her companionship through no one's choice, the latter situation more clearly demonstrates a correlation between fearing a person and loving the same person.
Let's consider hazing for a moment, whether in the army, in fraternity pledges, or in the Japanese sempai-kohai relationship. It is clear beyond reasonable doubt that there is an element of bonding involved, and that the hazing is part of it. Going a bit further, one finds cases like Кαмρμѕсн (sorry for mangling that, I don't want this post to turn up in a Google for her name). Here, too, some form of stable bond has undeniably been formed.
Considering that a bond can form under such circumstances, and even worse ones, one might be inclined to assume the same can happen in the presence of fear. Bear in mind things like post-disaster bonding and sex, release of oxytocins, etc... Although it can be said that this acts to alleviate fear through bonding, of course.
In any case, I wonder if you might not be confusing fear with terror?
Or perhaps confusing fear with some of the more complicated emotions?
For me, what most would call fear is actually a performance boosting emotion.
It does not have negative connotations, as it is more a response of "upping the pace."
Abject terror, however, would seem incompatible with just about anything.
And complicated emotions in that spectrum are ... well, complicated.
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I can say no one has convinced me to embrace the use of fear in my relationships.
I am not trying to convince you to change your style, Bob. That's not my thing.
For that matter, my use of it is limited, though someone did convince me to try a bit more of it.
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But I have been convinced there is more to this than what I thought at the beginning of this discussion.
That, however, is my thing. If I have had some measure of success, then I'm glad.
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This is one of those situations where an open mind proves useful [;)]
An open mind is useful in any circumstance where one tries to understand something.
Especially something one is not used to, or which creates a gut reaction.
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This is one of those factors that makes assessing this issue difficult. Are people reporting "fear" when they could just as easily report "excitement", and vice versa? How do we distinguish between the two when our body sends us identical signals for each?
It's a terminology issue, I suspect; someone clarified a lot of this for me just now.
Personally, I'd prefer to use terms like anticipation, alertness, fight/flight, terror and abject terror.
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I've never been on one. Two terms crop up for me whenever I consider it.
The first is "out of control". The second is "crater". [:(]
~lol~
You have a limit to seduce then, no? [;)]
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Since adrenalin ages a body, I've chosen to avoid the stuff as much as possible so as to retain my youthful appearance [;)]
Actually, that depends on the amount, and the duration. There is a "sweet spot" that is quite a bit above what people normally experience. Lt. Col. Dave Grossman has been doing a fair bit of research on that. I'm inclined to attribute my excellent (even for my young age) cardiac health to adrenal load, as I've had enough crap happen to the poor ticker that it shouldn't be above average health for my age group at this point.
Apart from that, I would also point out that MAOIs and COMT-inhibitors may lessen the oxidative stress involved in adrenaline catabolism. Green tea has a very weak effect of the latter type, for instance. The MAOIs, by comparison, have the added benefit of lowering other kinds of intracellular oxidative stress. Starting at age 35-40 or so with a low dose of l-deprenyl, for instance, reduces the risk of developing Parkinsons by 80% or so, IIRC.
If anti-aging specifically, or transhumanism generally, is of interest to you, drop me a line via PM.
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You have to keep in mind I'm alpha to a family of nine dogs: mom, dad and their five-year-old 'pups'. I've raised all the dogs since they were puppies. I've been the one to handle all their crises[...]
Then you are also, no doubt, aware that alpha is both a role and a biological trait in them.
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So when you talk of matters relevant to horse-whispering, I relate through my experience with my pups.
My experience with horses is very limited (no, that was not a jab at the TOS [;)]).
Beautiful animals, but they are too high maintenance for me, unless I go nomadic sometime.
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Mine have lived with cats all their lives.
That helps a lot. Mine have also been raised around cats. Amusingly enough, our cat Maude was partly raised by a Chavalier; we got her from an animal shelter, and she'd been seperated from her mother too early on, so the dog stepped in to help raise her. That occasionally causes some trouble in her relations with other cats, though.
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Actually, the pack dynamic has been a fascinating study of D/s.
It usually is. Amusingly enough, that is part of why some Goreans dislike the use of BDSM terminology in describing their dynamics, as the idea is (somewhat simplified) that some form of power dynamic always exists, and it should be allowed to "find its own level." Removing the power dynamic, or taking it further than where it settles in a pair that is aware of it, is moving toward an unnatural relationship (e.g. vanilla).
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The pecking order is constantly evolving, yet they all submit to the cats.
Which is why I don't do kitten play. [:D]
Health,
al-Aswad.
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