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ORIGINAL: sachiaiko

Okie, I have another brief dialog to have with folks here regarding the word “Sadist”

A sadist is not simply some one who enjoys inflicting pain. This word is being vbastly misused here in this website – and I am concerned about it.

A sadist ONLY gleans pleasure when their victims do NOT WANT
whatever they are doing to them.
Incorrect the correct verbage would be "Do not Enjoy"
Hence, by the very nature of the D/s lifestyle, most people are not sadists. A sadist would choose a submissive with a hard limit on pain, then hurt that slave despite their safe word, limits, etc for the pure satisfaction of hurting some one against their will. Sadists are people who are very dangerous, end up killing people often, and don’t care for their victims at all.
Again incorrect a Sadist would choose someone who is willing to suffer pain they do not enjoy as a servcie to their sadistic partner. There is a difference between a Sociopathic Sadist, or a textbook Sexual Sadist and a Consensual Sadist.

A dominant enters into a contract with a submissive, they have agreements and safewords and make certain that they hold up their end of the bargain. If you enjoy pain play, giving or receiving, you align yourself with a person who matches you in this desire A Dom who likes to inflict pain finds a sub who loves to receive pain. This *Can Not* be called “Sadism”

Minus the contractual aspect that does not cover all such relationships then you have actually gotten something close to the truth If you play with pain only to the point the bottom enjoys I would concure that is not Sadism.

As a submissive, I would stay far away from anyone claiming to be a sadist. Or, I would ask them what they think the word means. If you wish to be a “Victim” rather then a “Submissive” Then by all means find that person who matches your desire, but don’t tell yourself that you are a submissive when in fact you are a victim.

This is semantics, however it is important semantics. The fact so many new dominants refer to themselves as sadists without a clear understanding ofwhat that actually entails creates a picture about this community that does not actually fit. Statistically, D/s relationships last a long time, are more honest, and handle their problems more up front because the nature of our relationships requires clear communication for issues of safety etc. This is a GOOD Thing. That is the type of thing which should be pointed to when the “vanilla” people talk about our lifestyle, not the fact a bunch of people are proud of being sadists, and isn’t that disgusting?

It's not pride that is my motivation for claiming the label Sadist but rather honesty.
I enjoy a certain level of hurting someone beyond what they actually enjoy.
I own up to that and simply make sure that the person knows that. I'm not seeking unwilling victims, not am I seeking to force them to provide me with the service of enduring pain for my enjoyment. I openly tell them what I am and let them decide if what other things I have to offer ar worth the trade of serving as the reciever of actual pain for my enjoyment.

It may seem like a small issue, but It’s not. If we are seen as sadists who love to hurt folks against their will and we’re really one step up from rapists and murderers, then our alternative way of life will never gain acceptance. So despite the semantics, use your words intelligently, clearly, and responsibly. Shy away from words like “Sadism” because they do not accurately depict the truth of most dominant people in this lifestyle. Take the time to clearly discuss what pain play is to you, or any other aspect of this lifestyle. Be responsible in how you communicate and speak, and we will gain positively from that as a community.

I am being clear and precise in my word choice you however have taken one aspect of the word and painted all sadists with the same broad brush. Lumping me, a consensual sadist in with sociopathic sadists and textbook sexual sadists.
Sadist is one who enjoys inflicting pain and gains some arousal from the suffering of another. PERIOD to adscribe any further motivations or methods of operation is to be imprecise in your use of language the same thing you accuse so many others of in this post.


Thanks, guys.

Mistress Sachi.

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Sadists dont love their slaves. Clearly, that womans dom cares for her, thats awesome. :shrugs:

Anyhow, you guys dont have to attack. You can actually talk to me, i am interested in intelligent conversation, not fights. Your choice, though.

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ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Normally I would stay way away from this topic.
However, I will toss in my quick 2 cents.
I think I will side with Webster over the OP.  Sadism is an enjoyment of the infliction of pain. No where is the nonconsentual part mentioned.
If you dont like being grouped with serial killers, and other criminal types, its simple.  Dont identify as a Sadist.
Problem solved, no?
I dont like being categorized with the absuive women who believe that a slave should be forced to be bisexual in order to be of service.  However, unless I am willing to give up my title as Dominant Woman, Im stuck.
Within a category, there are many subsets.  Under sadists, there are mental sadists, physical sadists... and criminal sadists.
If you are going to argue semantics, at least get them right.  The definition people here use is correct.  You may not agree with it, but that doesnt make it wrong.

DV